Chapter 10: The Sorrow of the Past
A/N: Well here's the next chapter! I got it up nice and quick for ya. I hope you like it! And at the end, be prepared to grab a tissue. I almost cried while I was writing it. You, of course, may not think it very sad, but I did. I was also listening to a sad song, but whatever…
My thanks goes to Fiona McKinnon, Lady ElfDragon, felicitousmomento, and IwishChan for the lovely reviews. I adore you people!
Disclaimer: Never have, don't now, and never will.
Dream sequence
Elerina looked up. She was in her old house again. She saw herself as a young girl, sitting by the fire side and petting her beloved cat, Peaches. Her mother was sitting comfortably in the big chair, her legs pulled under her. She was reading from a thick book titled The Lord of the Rings.
Elerina's mother was beautiful, though looking nothing like Elerina at all. She had short, dark hair and a face full of freckles. Her large eyes were as dark as her hair, and set wider apart than Elerina's. She had high cheek bones and her chin tapered down to a narrow point. Elerina gazed at her mother, contemplating every detail. She somehow remembered everything about her, though while at the orphanage she remembered nothing of her mother.
Suddenly Elerina could hear what her mother was reading. Her sweet voice filled the warm living room as she read. Elerina saw the 5-year-old version of herself staring intently into the fire, listening and remembering every word that her mother was reading. The little girl closed her eyes and Elerina could tell that she was there in the story, experiencing every word that came out of her mother's mouth. Then Elerina listened to what her mother was reading.
"Frodo felt Bilbo stir impatiently at his side. Evidently he was annoyed on his friend's behalf. Standing suddenly up he burst out:
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are untouched by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken:
The crownless again shall be king.
'Not very good perhaps, but to the point - if you need more beyond the word of Elrond. If that was worth a journey of a hundred and ten days to hear, you had best listen to it.' He sat down with a snort.
'I made that up myself,' he whispered to Frodo, 'for the Dúnadan, a long time ago when he first told me about himself. I almost wish that my adventures were not over, and that I could go with him when his day comes.'
Aragorn smiled at him; then he turned to Boromir again. 'For my part I forgive your doubt,' he said. 'Little do I resemble the figures of Elendil and Isildur as they stand carven in their majesty in the halls of Denethor. I am but the heir of Isildur, not Isildur himself. I have had a hard life and a long; and the leagues that lie between here and Gondor are a small part in the count of my journeys. I have crossed many mountains and many rivers, and trodden many plains, even into the far countries of Rhûn and Harad where the stars are strange…"
(A/N: Taken from The Council of Elrond in The Fellowship of the Ring)
Elerina listened to her mother, enchanted by her voice. Then everything came back to her in a wave. Every tiny detail of the whole story, taken from the countless times her mother had read it to her. She then realized where she was. She was in Middle-Earth, with all of the wondrously beautiful people that she had only ever dreamed of meeting someday when she was a child.
Then it hit her.
She was living in a fictional world.
She was part of amade up story.
She would never come back to this world again.
She was a character.
Everything went cloudy, and Elerina felt as if she was floating. She swirled in the mist for what seemed like an eternity, but suddenly the grey clouds cleared, and she was looking into her bedroom. Her father was sitting on her bed next to her, holding her hand.
Elerina and her father were practically identical. He had the same light strawberry blond hair, and the same sea green and grey eyes. His smile was even the same. The only difference was that his ears were normally shaped. They were round, like a normal person's. Elerina then heard her 6-year-old self speak.
"Papa? Why are my ears pointed? Everyone at school makes fun of me," she said in a sweet, childish voice.
"You were made different from everyone else because you are so special. The angles kissed your ears when you were a baby and made them pointed. Now go to sleep, honey." Her father kissed her forehead and got up. He walked out the door, and her mother came in.
"Mama, why are my ears pointed? Is it because I'm an Elf?" she asked. Her mother kissed her.
"Yes, baby. You are a special Elf chosen by the Valar to live here," she said jokingly and lightly pulled her nose.
"Will I ever get to go to Middle-Earth?"
"Maybe. You never know what might happen. Now go to sleep, child. Dream of horses and flowers and the Elves in Rivendell." Her mother got up and walked out the door.
The world clouded again, and when it cleared, Elerina was standing in front of a burning house. Next to a firefighter was herself as an 8-year-old, sobbing and holding onto a worn teddy bear. Three firefighters came out of the building, carrying her mother and father between them. They were rushed to an ambulance, and the little Elerina ran after them. The doctors would not let her in the ambulance, but a friendly neighbor offered to drive her to the Hospital.
The world again clouded, but when it cleared again, she was in a grassy field. In front of her stood her mother.
"Hello, Rina. How have you been? It's been so long," came her mother's sweet voice.
"Mama!" Elerina rushed to embrace her mother, but went right through her. She turned around, puzzled, and stared into her mother's grave face.
"Sweetie, I am not a real person. I died in that fire, you know that. Your father as well," her mother said. "Even though this is a dream it is no different from reality. You cannot touch or feel me. I have been shown to you only to say this: You were put in Middle-Earth for a purpose. Your life was not meant to be how it was in the orphanage. Ever since you were born, you were meant to live in Middle-Earth. And when the time was right, they brought you."
"Mama, I want things to be like they used to. I want us to go back, and live like we did before the fire. I don't care about leaving Middle-Earth, no matter how wonderful it is. I want to be with you, Mama. I've missed you and Papa so much. At times it was so hard to bear, I wanted to kill myself. I knew I would never see you again, but the pain was still there. It still is. I want to stay with you now. Please Mama?" Tears were running down Elerina's face. Her heart wrenched from her chest in the desire to hold her mother and be held by her.
"You know things can't be like they used to, honey. I'm dead, and so is your father. We can't change that, as much as we would like to. You just need to be strong, and live like the girl I know you can be. Be a good girl, and have a wonderful life in Middle-Earth. Tell everyone how proud your mother is of you. Keep that chin up, and don't fret about me. Everything will be alright. You'll see, child." There was sadness in her voice, but no tears came out of her mother's eyes.
"But Mama…"
"I must go now. This is a one time thing, so since I didn't get to properly say goodbye the night of the fire, I will now. Elerina, I love you, and I always will. Make me proud. I will be watching you, from up in the sky. I love you so much, baby. Good bye."
Elerina was about to beg her mother to stay, but the world clouded again. She awoke in her bed in Rivendell, her hot tears soaking the sheets. She sobbed uncontrollably, and sat up. Somewhere far off a wolf howled mournfully to the moon.
"I love you too, Mama," she whispered between sobs.