Juuban High - Day 59

Story by: Elise Haskell and Carrie Rose

Written by: Carrie Rose

Edited by: Elise Haskell

After the horrors of yesterday I slammed the door on my sister and walked to school. I would never, ever let her near those people again... poor Piccolo. I'm quite shocked that he didn't kill her. Anyway, I stopped at Elise's house where she looked very tired.

"No sleep last night eh?"

"Nope.." She grinned... hmmm... I wasn't going to ask.

We stopped at the Son's house as usual where Gohan walked out looking very disgusted, and Elise glomped poor Goten. "You know, we really need to do that again sometime, like maybe today?" She grinned.

"Do what?" Goten asked obliviously.

Elise started crying, "how could you not remember?!"

"Remember what...?" He asked, blinking.

"You know, last night!"

"But... I slept last night..."

"Okay! Which one of you gave Elise the drugs?" I asked.

Everyone shrugged.

"I have a bad feeling about today... I think it's going to be a very long day..." I muttered as we walked.

"I have that feeling every day. It starts when I see Elise waiting outside my house," Gohan said.

Eric then caught up to us, "hi guys! How was yesterday? Sonya dragged me to school as her little 'sister', so I couldn't walk with you," he explained... though no one asked.

"Gee, that wasn't much of a stretch was it?" I muttered, walking into school.

Youji and Trunks were waiting there as always.

"But last night was so much fun, Goten. I had no idea you were into that kind of stuff... and when you went Super Saiya-jin... wow... it was amazing..." Elise trailed off, her eyes glazed over.

"What stuff?" Goten blinked.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Gohan screamed, red aura flaring.

"Gohan... calm down... she's delusional... she lives in a dream world... remember?" Trunks and I said in an attempt to clam him down.

"If only I was in her dream world..." Youji said absently.

I blinked as Elise said "Oh you were, you were cleaning up..."

"CLEANING UP?!" Gohan shrieked as Youji facefaulted.

"Yep, we left quite a mess..."

"OKAY, TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!" I said, hitting her with my mallet.

"I hate her." Gohan stated.

"But hate is such a strong word! The world does not need hate! Hate is wrong. The world needs love! Love is beautiful and pure and innocent and everyone needs to be loved. Without love the world will be doomed, DOOMED..." Mamoru said, suddenly showing up.

"Is anyone listening to him?" Gohan asked.

"It's Mamoru," Goten said.

"No, no one's listening," I replied.

"I have to protect the sake of love! You will die, hatred boy!" Mamoru said and pulled out a rose. The room went brown and sparkly and he was suddenly wearing the ugly tuxedo. He threw his hat and waited for it to return... but it didn't.

It flew down the hall.

"That's not clearly marked, and that isn't... I guess it's food!"

The hat floated above Goku's head for a second and then fluttered down, landing on his head.

"MY HAT!! I AM NOT TUXEDO KAMEN WITHOUT IT!"

"I am... TUXEDO GOKU-KAMEN!" Goku cried with joy.

"Oh dear Dende..." Trunks muttered, hitting his head on the lockers.

"In the name of the Moon, I'll punish you!" Goku said, giggling.

"Isn't that Sailor Moon's saying?" I asked.

"Oh, right... um... Food is good, without food we cannot live, especially if it isn't clearly marked. If it isn't clearly marked it can be mistaken for a lot of things - is my hat clearly marked?"

We nodded.

"Good, now everyone knows that I am -" he paused there to grab a piece of paper and a bright pink crayon - "TUXEDO GOKU-KAMEN!" He then stuck the sign, which had "Tuxedo Goku-Kamen" written on it, on his gi. "No one will mistake me because I am clearly marked!"

We sweatdropped.

"I think the point of the name Tuxedo Kamen is to NOT reveal your identity..." Gohan said, head in his hands.

"Yes, the Great Saiyaman knows all about that..." Elise said.

"HEY! How would you know about that?"

"You changed in front of us, moron..." Elise replied.

Eric got a glazed over look in his eyes. I then hit him with my mallet. "Yes, yes you did..." I grinned.

"YOU AREN'T CLEARLY MARKED! I MUST FIGHT THE FORCES OF THE NEGAVERSE!! YOU ALL NEED TO BE CLEARLY MARKED OR ELSE YOU ARE A PART OF THE NEGAVERSE!!" Goku screamed.

He then turned around and saw Vegeta.

"YOU! The head leader of the negaverse... I see through your lies... you aren't clearly marked!!!"

Elise grabbed her trusty black sharpie marker form hammerspace and started marking on everyone "Not negaverse!"

She ran over to Veggiehead and wrote on his forehead "Not negaverse SO HANDS OFF! HE'S ELISE'S!!! I'm really sexy. I should be wearing nothing right now, but the spandex is just as good!"

"What are you doing woman?" Vegeta asked, annoyed.

"Clearly marking you for the intellectually impaired." Elise grinned.

"The what for the who now?" Goten and Goku asked.

"Ooh... I get to mark Goten..." Elise grinned.

"THIS IS NOT NEGAVERSE, IN FACT HE IS THE SOLE PROPERTY OF ELISE AND ELISE ALONE! IF YOU SO MUCH AS HURT HIM YOU STUPID BASTARD I WILL SEE TO IT THAT CHICHI KILLS YOU!!" all over his arms.

"She wrote on me!"

"Kawaii!"

"He is not your property!" Gohan screamed.

"Jealous, are we?"

"...WHAT!?"

"You're not clearly marked, Rice Boy!" She went to work.

When she was finished, he said "Not Negaverse, you don't want to attack me for I am crazy and prone to snapping randomly. Stay away. It's for your own good."

Gohan screamed.

"See, you proved me right!" She beamed.

"Oi…" He sighed.

She then turned to Trunks.

"Not Negaverse. I am an over jealous stupid crazy overreacting idiot. Keep me away from walls and lockers; I bang my head on them. I like to give myself concussions." On his forehead, it said "bang here."

She went to Eric next.

"Not Negaverse. Yes he is my brother. Isn't he cute when he's all um, you know, Eric-like!"

She looked at Sonya, then grabbed her arm. "I am a member of the Negaverse. Kill me now and leave no remains."

Goku's eyes lit up, "ooo! Negaverse! Die by the hands of my um… I don't have roses... DIE BY THE HANDS OF THIS HOT DOG!"

She turned to me next.

"Not negaverse."

"Good girl, Elise," I said, not sending her any more glares and holding my mallet innocently behind my back.

"Hey, Tasuki!!" She called and grabbed him.

"What da hell d'ya want?!" He screamed, trying to get away.

"I need to clearly mark you for the stupid one over there..."

"Which one?"

"Ha ha, very funny... keep still." She said and went to work.

"Not negaverse. I'm really hot, aren't I? I also belong to Eric so Chichiri, while you are cute, keep your hands off."

Tasuki freaked.

"CHICHIRRRRRRIIIIII!!! GET IT OFF!!!!!" He cried, frantically rubbing at his arm.

She grabbed Youji next.

"Not negaverse. I'm an assassin so don't piss me off. I also like wearing only boxers and no one complains."

I grabbed the marker away from her for a second and wrote on Youji "I HAVE A CONCAVE STOMACH! PLEASE FEED ME! FORGET THE STARVING ETHIOPIANS, MEAGAN IS RAISING THEM NOW! FEED ME PLEASE!!!"

"What the hell is wrong with you?" He asked.

"The question is, what's wrong with YOU?" I glared at him.

He just glared back and I handed the marker back to Elise.

"Tasuki didn't move for me... I told him to keep still and he did..." Elise was off in her own world again.

We looked back at Goku and Sonya. Sonya was covered in many condiments from those evil hot dogs. That's all the damage that had been done though.

I grabbed Elise's marker and set out on making revisions to everyone's markings.

On Elise: "Not negaverse, but she is crazy, delusional and really should be in the mental institution. If you are Goten, Vegeta, Duo, Tasuki, Dilandau, Youji or an assortment of others please stay away. I am crazy and will not hesitate in kidnaping you and locking you in a folding chair in my closet."

"...hey!" Elise said as she read it.

"It's true..."

"So?"

I shook my head and grabbed Vegeta's arm. "I am hot, please get me out of these clothes."

"YES!!!" Elise agreed, jumping up and down.

"HEY! Wait a second!" Trunks cried.

On Goten: "I am a moron, but a cute one so it's all good..."

"She wrote on me too!"

"KAWAII!!" Elise cried and glomped him.

On Gohan: "Please get me out of this spandex I insist on wearing for some STUPID reason. It must be my father's genes causing this and I really don't want any ties to him since I consider my real father to be Piccolo. Also, while I make a very cute couple with Videl, I belong to Carrie."

"AND ME!!!" Eric cried.

"Shut up, Eric."

On Trunks: "I am really, really hot and should be also wearing nothing at all. I belong to Carrie and only Carrie, you cannot touch me or Carrie WILL kill you with no second thought."

I grabbed Eric's arm and he blushed. "I am a fucking psycho and I don't even exist. I'm an 'It'. Please, do not ever refer to me with any pronouns at all because I am not a 'he' or a 'she' or an anything besides an It."

He continued to blush when he looked at his arm, but I ignored him.

"Oh Tasuki!!" I called.

He froze, "...what d'ya want?"

"Come here, pleeeeeeaaaassseeeee??"

"No."

"PLEASE?!" I sniffled.

"...no!!"

"TRUNKS!!"

"OKAY! OKAY!" Tasuki finally agreed.

"Keep still..." I told him. He moved a bit, but that was all right, I could still write on him! "Yes, I am really, really hot. Too bad I don't like girls, I'm such a waste."

"He's not a waste," Eric said.

"He is for us," I said. Elise nodded.

"CHICHIRI!!" Tasuki said as he went SD and ran off.

"Who else...?" I asked, and then grinned. "NURIKO!!!"

"Oh god no..." Elise muttered as they followed me.

"OH DENDE NO! DENDE!!"

"... Shut up, Lilac Boy."

We found Nuriko in the drama room, and Elise and I both started crying.

"You are alive! We saw your death and it was just so tragic and hey... how are you still alive?" We said in unison.

Nuriko shrugged, "How is anybody still alive?"

"He makes a good point..." I said.

"Yes, yes he does."

"ANYWAY, we need to clearly mark you because Goku is a fucking moron and will attack you if you are not marked," I explained.

"Uh... oh... okay..." Nuriko sweatdropped but held out his arm.

"I am not negaverse, however I am really hot, and I look very good in dresses too. Hotohori isn't good enough for me, the only one good enough for me is Carrie!"

"And me and me and me and me and me and me! Me being Elise, of course!" Elise wrote on his other arm.

Nuriko just sweatdropped.

As we were leaving school, we ran into Aoi, Moosie and Osito.

He had already marked Moosie and Osito.

On Moosie: "I am fiberglass and if you eat me you will choke. I am not from the negaverse; I am form the Moon Kingdom! Really!"

On Osito: "Not negaverse. I'm too cute to eat."

On Aoi: "I am your friendly principal man. Not negaverse."

I grabbed his arm and wrote, "Aren't I cute? I'm crazy in a good way!"

He grinned.

"OH RANMA..." Elise called and grabbed him, writing on his arm in a flurry of fast strokes and quick dotted i's "I'm a cross dressing moron!"

I of course, took this opportunity to write on his other arm, "I'm really really really really really really really really really really really really really really REALLY hot and if it wasn't for Akane, you can be damn sure that I would belong to Carrie."

"ELISE!!!" Ranma cried and chased Elise down the hall.

"Save me, save me, save me, save me! GOKU! HE'S FROM THE NEGAVERSE!"

"Nega...what?" Ranma stopped and looked confused.

"DIE!!!!!" Goku screamed, jumping out at him with his bottle of green ketchup.

Ranma paled and ran. That was the last we saw of him that week. Poor thing...

"Ryouga!" I said, eyes lighting up as I ran over to him and wrote "Not negaverse. However, I have the tendency to get lost so if you ever find me unsure of where I am, please return me to Carrie's house."

"Long time no see, guys," he said, getting all emotional on us. "However, I need to go to my office now, so I shall see you later." He then turned and walked into the washroom.

"We won't be seeing him for a while..." I sighed.

"Nope... dammit..." Elise sighed too.

"Hey... you don't think Goku's going to eat Ranma do you?" I asked.

"Who cares about Ranma? Do you think he's going to eat Sonya?"