Chapter 19

I rode the next few hours in silence. I was tired of being treated like a child, by almost everyone I knew. I was not a child, I was sixteen years old, and most girls from our village were married at this age. I understand Tristan treating me as a child, for I am indeed his child, but no one else's. I was not there little sister, or play thing, or chum, I was a woman for God's sake. Had they never been around a woman before who speaks her mind? I guess being a woman to them means quietly doing whatever she is told, and worshipping them, well I refuse to do it.

I had worked myself into quite a tizzy by the time we stopped to make camp. I was in no mood for any of their teasing or lighthearted banter they tried to engage me in. When Tristan announced he was going hunting, I practically begged him to let me go with.

"Taryn, please stay here." Lancelot begged, I turned to look at him. "For if you go with Tristan every animal in the forest will know we are here, and we will all go to bed hungry." He said with an evil little smile that suggested that he thought he was the funniest man in the world.

I heard peals of laughter coming from were Galahad and Gawain sat, not to mention a chuckle from Bors. Dagonet who was sharpening his knife, held it up as if to say do you want me to end it all now. I smiled in appreciation, but shook my head letting him know it would not be necessary.

"I guess will see who has the last laugh when I return." I said turning to follow Tristan into the woods, my bow on my shoulder. I had confidence in my hunting skills. I had not used them much since arriving at the fort, but they are what kept me alive on my journey from home. I just prayed this forest actually had game in it for me to kill.

Tristan, and I walked side by side through the clearing trying to stir up rabbits or squirrels, which is what he told me we were hunting. He said a deer would be too big, and take to long to clean. It was not long before I spied something moving in the brush. I did not hesitate, and quickly notched an arrow. The fool rabbit ran directly across our path. I took my opportunity, aimed, fired and dropped it with an arrow right through the head.

"Great shot." Tristan said barely above a whisper. I nodded, and went to retrieve my kill. I strung it on a piece of leather, and threw it over my back. I pulled another arrow from my quiver, as we kept hunting, for one little rabbit would not feed us all.

I entered the camp proudly, with four rabbits on my string. My arrows had killed them all. I think Tristan knew it was important to me, so he let me make all the kills. The knights all eyeballed me, but did not say a word. I went over to a fallen log, and sat down, and began skinning the rabbits. Dagonet joined me, and soon all four rabbits were roasting above the fire.

When the rabbits were done, there were three hungry knights all crowding in for their share of the meet. As Lancelot was reaching to tear a piece of the tender meat off, Tristan's quiet voice stopped him.

"I think you should be asking Taryn, if she wants to share her rabbits with you all." He said softly.

They all looked at him like he was crazy, but Dagonet spoke up. "Taryn will you please share your rabbit with me?"

"Of coarse Dag, and I appreciate your helping clean them." I said making a point that none of the others had offered to help.

"Taryn you wouldn't deny a starving man some food would you?" Bors said.

"No Bors, but know this, I only feed you out of obligation, because of all the kindness your lover has shown on me." I said with a smile.

"That is good enough for me." He said helping himself to a large portion of one of the rabbits.

"You've got to be kidding me." Galahad muttered in disgust.

Arthur who had been watching the scene play out with much amusement, decided he would go ahead and get his share of the rabbit.

"Taryn, your rabbit smells delicious, may I please have some?" he asked.

"Arthur you should have known you don't even have to ask. Here" I said pulling of a generous piece, and carrying it to where he sat. I grabbed another large piece and gave it to Tristan, and grabbed the rest of the third rabbit for myself. This left one rabbit roasting above the fire.

We all sat their munching our grub in silence, the three brooding knights sat on their log, looking back and forth at each other silently debating who was going to brake first. After several moments, Gawain came forward on bended knee.

"Oh great huntress Taryn, please forgive me for earlier mocking you." He said with a smile. "Please permit me to eat of your rabbit." He said with much bravado.

"Gawain, I believe you are still making fun of me. So no." I said turning up my nose to him.

"Aw Taryn come on, I am starving." He pleaded, this time with all playing aside.

"Fine, you know I can't stand to see you beg. Lancelot, Galahad it is obvious you were both wrong, and since I am the only adult here, help yourself, I said pointing to the rabbit." I did take satisfaction in the fact it was the smallest of the three rabbits.

When the last remains of the rabbit had been picked clean, the knights started to settle down for the night. I laid my bed roll between Tristan and Dagonet, since they were the only two at the time whose company I wanted to keep. Tristan volunteered to take first watch which left me only with Dagonet.

"Taryn, I will volunteer to be your pillow again tonight, in exchange for that fine rabbit." Gawain called over to me.

"Shut up Gawain, it will be a cold day in you know where before, I ever sleep near you again." I shouted back. Which caused more laughter again at my expense.

"I don't know why you let them get you all upset." Dagonet said, lying on his side with his head propped on his hand. "It only aggs them on more."

"I don't know either, I guess I am just not used to being teased every day of my life." I said with a sigh.

"You obviously don't have any brothers." Bors said joining in on our conversation. "Just talk to my twins, they can teach you how to handle pesky siblings."

"That's the thing, they are not my siblings!" I said turning my back to them all. I did not want to talk, only sleep.

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We managed to make it to both villages on the next day. They all had their little problems, but none like we had encountered on our first day. There were reports that there were indeed rebel woads still in the forest. It was believed they were a group broken off from Merlin's leadership. They claimed them to be blood thirsty bandits. We heard there were anywhere from 10-30 riding with them. I could tell the men were not happy about this. I don't think they had expected another group to come this far south of the wall so soon after having defeated the last group of offenders.

"We will be on the look out on our way back to the fort." Arthur assured the people.

It was decided that we would take a longer route home, in hopes of finding the woads. All the joking, and bantering of the knights was gone. Replaced with a quiet watchfulness, they were all preparing for the worst. The first day traveling back there was no sign of them. At night, I did not leave the camp fire, I made sure I stayed close to my father, and if he was not around Dag, or Bors would suffice. I had heard many stories in the villages of the wicked deeds these woads did to people, and had no desire to run into one of them in the woods.

We were a half of days ride from home, when everyone's spirits seemed to lighten. We stopped at a stream to stretch our legs and water the horses. Tristan was riding ahead with his hawk, scouting the road out making sure our last leg of the journey would be clear.

I was bent over the stream, grabbing up handfuls of the icy water, trying to quench my thirst I had gained from days of hard riding, when I heard a noise, it was a twig snapping, but it did not come from the direction that any of the knights where in. I looked over to Gawain, he already had his axe in hand, for he had heard it also.

Then it started. I heard a yell, a war cry come from across the stream, there was at least a dozen of blue half naked men running toward us weapons in hand.

"Taryn, get back." Gawain shouted.

I did just that, I tried to be brave, but in fact the sight of them, mad my knees tremble. I moved back behind the knights, who all had been scrambling for their weapons, and were preparing for battle.

The two lines crashed with a dull roar. There was metal clanging and blood flying. It seemed as if the knights were outnumbered two to one. I reached to my side, and pulled out my tridents. Move I commanded my legs, telling them this is what I had trained for willing them to join the battle, but instead I stood frozen.

As fate would have it, I could not go to the battle, but it came to me. One of the demon creatures spied me, and started running toward me, with a dagger in hand. I knew my frozen body would have to move or I would soon be dead.

As the creature ran at me I held up my swords preparing to defend myself. He came at me with a blind furry, I had never experienced in all my sparring with the knights. Out of sheer need, I was able to fend of each of his wild blows. Then, I jumped upon the moment I had been training for. He had his dagger held high ready to come down upon me. I used the three pronged trident in my left hand to entangle and trap his weapon. Without hesitation, I took my other sword held in my right hand, and plunged it in my assailants soft belly.

The axe fell from his hand to the ground with a thud. I looked into my attackers eyes with a feeling of victory, when I noticed something that shocked me. My enemy was not at all a man, but a girl. A young girl, maybe even younger than me, and her eyes were filled with sheer terror.

I looked down to where my sword was still embedded in her belly. There was a growing spot of red coming from the area. I pulled my sword back with a gasp, the girl fell to the ground as if my sword had been the only thing holding her up.

I fell to the ground on my knees beside her. This could not be happening, kept running through my mind. I looked into her eyes again she looked at me pleading almost begging for something, but I did not know what. I had to stop this, I put both of my hands over the girls bleeding abdomen trying to stop the bleeding, to no avail. It was soon spilling over her pail lips.

"I am so sorry." I murmured to the dying girl. She reached out and grabbed my hand, I held it tight. Then it was over, her eyes rolled back in her head, and her hand went lip. She was dead. I felt a sick feeling in my stomach, and the taste of acid backing up in my throat.

"Taryn" I heard a frantic Gawain call.

I turned to see another one running at me. I tried to stand, he was almost on me, and my weapons were still clutched loosely at my side. He had an axe in his hand raised ready to split me into. He was a mere two feet from me, when an arm reached around him, and slit his throat with a dagger. The warm blood sprayed all over my face.

"Taryn, what are you doing just sitting there you are going to be killed!" Gawain screeched, throwing the man to the side.

My senses were starting to come back, and I saw another one not very far behind Gawain, notching an arrow. My body reacted again, as it had a will of its own. I found myself heaving my trident with all my might toward the woad. It landed with surprising accuracy in the center of his chest. He looked at me stunned for a moment, and then fell dead to the ground.

He had been the last one living, I looked around and saw blue bodies littering the ground everywhere. I made a quick check and saw all the knights were still standing.

"Nice throw Taryn, you'll have to teach me that one!" said Lancelot who had witnessed my slaying of the last woad. He bent over and retrieved my trident from the mans chest. He wiped the excess blood off of it and handed it to me. I reached out with a shaky hand and accepted it.

The knights busied themselves with retrieving there own weapons from the bodies of the dead. I turned back to where the girl lie dead on the ground, starring at her wide eyed. Gawain came and put his arm around me.

"You did well." He whispered in my ear, and then turned to pack up the rest of his belongings.

Good, I thought to myself. I don't see how killing a young beautiful girl could be good. She had long brown hair that fanned about her shoulders. She wore simple clothes made of leather ties that barely covered her tattooed young body. Around her neck was a necklace of braided leather , with a few scattered beads woven in. Without thinking I reached down and pulled the necklace from her neck. I held it in my hand, it was stained with her blood.

I raised my head at the sound of hoof beats coming toward my way. It was Tristan riding break neck speed toward me. I stuffed the necklace in my pocket, and looked up at him. He pulled his horse to a rather rough stop, and was on the ground by me in a fraction of a second.

"Taryn, hurry tell me where are you injured?" He the even quiet tone of his voice gone.

"What, what do you mean? I stuttered my brain working slowly again.

"You are covered in blood!" he exclaimed.

I looked down at my arms, they did indeed look like they had been painted red with blood. I tried to wipe some of it off on my pants.

"And your face" he said.

I reached my hand up to touch my face, and it came back bright red.

"Tristan do not fear." Lancelot said coming to my side. "It looks as if Taryn has you skill for battle. It is not her, blood but those of who she killed." He said motioning his hand to the bodies lying around.

A pleased smile came to his face. "I am glad you did well Taryn, I only wish I had been here to be at your side."

I just nodded to him, for some reason I felt no pleasure at all. Someone thrust a cloth in my hand that I used to clean the rest of the blood off my face and arms. I used it, but my arms felt numb, my body moved as if it was made of wood. I looked around, but everyone was preparing for the ride back, no one seemed to notice me.

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I did not talk the rest of the way home. If anyone noticed no one said anything about it. They were back to their cheerful selves, the woads had been defeated all were happy.

Phillip and Ursula were there to great me when I returned. Phillip offered to stable Black for me, so I could change clothes, I accepted his offer, and turned the reins over to him.

In the safety of my room, I collapsed on my bed. All I could see in my head was the dead girls face. I pulled her necklace out of my pocket, and clutched it in my hand. It haunted me, I could not get her out of my mind. I am not sure if it would have been different if it would have been a man, but I had no pleasure in the girl's death. I had just taken away someone's daughter, sister, or friend. Her short life was over because of me. I pulled myself into a ball, and did not move.

I lay there like that for hours, I could not find the will to move, to think, I just lay there seeing, and feeling nothing. Tristan must have begun to worry about me, he came in to check on me.

"Taryn, what is wrong? What are you still doing in those bloody clothes?" He questioned me.

I wanted to answer him, I wanted to say something, but nothing came. I looked over his shoulder and starred at the window, wishing he would just leave me alone.

He bent over and gently shook my shoulders. "Taryn, are you all right?" Still he got no response from me. He ran out of the room, and came back in with Lancelot and Dagonet.

"I don't know what is wrong with her" he explained.

Dagonet reached a hand out and placed it on my head. "No fever, but perhaps she is becoming ill. Are we certain she was not injured in the fight?

"She denied it." Tristan replied.

"Galahad, why don't you run and get Vanora? She can help get Taryn out of these clothes, and make sure she is not hurt." Dagonet said.

Galahad returned with a concerned Vanora. She came at me armed with a bucket of hot water, and a new change of clothes, but even that did not bring me out of my withdrawn state. She left the room even more confused at what was going on with me. She shrugged her shoulders at the knights in the hall.

"She won't respond to me either, perhaps we should send for a healer?" she said uncertainty.

"Vanora go get Arthur, we will see if he has seen this before." Dagonet said, again taking charge of the situation.

Soon she was back with Arthur and also Gawain, all of them were standing around my bedside starring at me. I continued to stare past them toward the window.

"Arthur it is as if she lost her mind. Do you know what is wrong with her?" Galahad asked.

"I do" Gawain interrupted them all. "She is in shock. One of the woads she killed was a young girl, and she can't deal with it." He said coming to sit on my bed next to my head.

"Taryn, listen to me." He said gently running his fingers down the side of my face. "It is not your fault the girl is dead. She attacked you." He said trying to brake through my walls. "You had not choice, it was either kill or be killed. Taryn look at me." He commanded.

I remained as I was not moving, not feeling blocking them all out. Gawain turned and looked at Tristan.

"Tristan, I am sorry, but this is for her own good." He said apologizing for what he was about to do. He raised his arm back, and brought it across my face with such a force it made my teeth rattle.

I sat straight up in the bed. "What was that for!" I screamed at him, and then began pounding at his chest with my fist. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer, absorbing all my blows. My attack on him soon turned to sobbing. I buried my face in his chest letting out all the pain, and anger inside. "I, I didn't want her to die." I said between sobs. He just stroked the back of my hair, and held me close. "We know Taryn, we all know." Was his reply.

The rest of the knights feeling uncomfortable, by this strange display of emotions, slowly left the room, leaving only Tristan, Gawain, and myself. After several minutes, I loosened myself from Gawain's arms to look at them both.

"I don't know why I am affected so like this." I said looking at them with my puffy face.

"Have you ever killed anyone before?" my father asked me.

"No, not before today." I said the tears still falling from my eyes.

"Taryn you have not been raised like we were to be warriors from birth. It is okay to feel bad about the loss of life. I too lay awake at nights thinking about the hundreds of men, and occasional woman, I have killed. The woad women go into battle just like the men, and they must die like the men." He said.

"No one else remembers, but Galahad was no different from you, on his first kill." Said Gawain. "He could not eat for days, but he got over it and you will also."

"Taryn come with me, and let's go get something to eat if you are able. You have not eaten all day, and I know it will make you feel better." Gawain said, while standing, and pulling me to my feet next to him.

I nodded, yes I was very hungry, and the thought of food actually sounded appealing. I held tight to Gawain's hand and let him and Tristan lead me to the tavern. I felt better than I did earlier, but I knew they were wrong, I will never get over this. I will remember that girl, until the day I die.

AN: Sorry don't have time to respond to all of your reviews. It was either post the story now without them, or wait 2 days until I was done working but, I guessed you would rather have this chapter. There are changes in store for Taryn. This chapter is kind off a turning point in her life. I hope it is okay. Review please