Juuban High - Day 62

Story by: Elise Haskell and Carrie Rose

Written by: Elise Haskell

Edited by: Elise Haskell

That Tuesday I was up extra early! And when I say early, I mean half an hour after school started. Got a new notebook, a pack of pens, and sat by my locker ready for a hard day of work because I was now:

Vegeta's Personal Assistant! Said in echo-y voice with red backdrop

Alas! I felt like a frail superhero… or rather… a strong superhero, ready to take on the world-en-mass.

"Hey Elise."

"AH!" I screamed, dropping my brand new working materials to the floor as I stood up in fright. "You scared me half to death! Don't scare people like that!"

"Scare people like what?" Carrie asked staring at me as if I were crazed… just kinda like she always does actually. "I just said hi."

"Not so," I said getting my pose back and trying to sound smug and superior as I sat back down. "You said: 'Hey, Elise'. Aha!"

"Are you feeling ok?" She asked and checked my temperature.

"Bugger off!" I slapped her hand away and went back to my notebook.

"What'cha writing there?"

"Oh… you'll see," I said, getting my devious smile and evil gleam in my eye.

"… Can I see now?"

"No," I then looked at her. "Where is everyone?"

"I think they should be arriving soon, Eric and Sonya were fighting and everyone decided to wait and see if they kill each other or not."

"And if they don't kill each other?"

"I'm sure they also stayed to make sure one of 'em dies… or both."

"So why didn't you stay?"

"Oh I was playing Grand Theft Auto all night, now everyone looks like a corpse to me… why bother watching two corpses fight to become corpses…" We both went a little cross-eyed there, but soon recovered. "Say, where's Youji?" Carrie suddenly changed the subject. "He practically lives here!"

I pointed to the ceiling.

Carrie looked up.

"What the fuck?" Carried asked in confusion as she stared at Youji, suction-cups on hands and feet, stuck onto the ceiling in his Weiss uniform staring down at us in night visions goggles.

"Hello Carrie." He said calmly as if nothing was out of the norm.

"Should I ask?"

"No," I said, went over my notebook one last time and then got up. "Come Carrie, there is work to be done!"

Seeing Carrie had nothing better to do, she got up and followed me to the office. Youji was fast on our heels… err… heads.

We got to the office and were met with Aoi looking like a MIB agent or something.

"Thing's are crazier than they normally are…" Carrie mumbled as Aoi stared at her.

"And who might you be?" He asked raising an eyebrow from underneath his black sunglasses.

"It's me… Carrie."

"And how do I know that for sure? Hmmmmm?" He inquired, Osito and Moosie were in similar MIB outfits, Moosie's was drawn-on, and Osito's was crudely sewn.

"Uhhhh…"

"Perhaps we should administer a DNA test!" Aoi said smiling. "Osito! The needle!"

Carrie ki-blasted him, and Osito who held a miniature needle in his hands.

"They should have known…" I said and Carrie jumped on the needles ashes. "However, you shouldn't kill our security guards."

"Security guards for what?" Carrie asked not looking up from her jumping.

"What I've arranged for today."

"Ok, out with it already." Carrie commanded, she stopped her jumping and came up from behind me.

"Well, as being Vegeta's Personal Assistant! echo-y voice, I've arranged for a campaign."

"What does that have to do with Vegeta?"

"I don't know… But, seeing I feel official, I felt like doing something… official."

"So what's this campaign? Why the 'security guards'?"

"Oh, some of the Toronto Raptors are coming and we'll hold try-outs to find them a significant other."

Carrie stopped breathing.

Behind us a loud sucking sound was heard as Youji lost his grip and fell to the floor.

One or two hours later…

"I finished my application!" Eric said with glee and handed it to me, after which he did a little twirl and sat down beside Carrie with a sigh of happiness.

Everyone was back, no one was dead and Youji was with Nurse Joy.

"It shouldn't be allowed to fill one out…" Carrie mumbled glaring.

"Neither should you! You have a boyfriend!" Trunks complained!

"Since when has that ever stopped her?" I asked.

"Since… JUST WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY!"

"Oh nothing… MORON!" Carrie then handed her application in.

Then Sonya handed in… numerous applications.

"How many did you make for yourself?" I asked counting.

"One… for me… And then one for Trunks, Goten, Gohan, Youji, Takeo, Geoff-"

"Et cetera, et cetera, I get it, I get it," I said putting them in my new briefcase.

"Where are you getting all this new stuff?" Gohan asked with some suspicion.

"Um…" I stuttered, and on cue Inu Yasha walked by. I quickly put the briefcase behind my back.

"Have you humans seen my briefcase, notebook, pens, pencils, rulers… well, my whole office actually?" The Dog Demon asked in agitation.

"Heavens no Inu! But we'll get right on that! Consider it a date!" I winked. He shuddered and left. "He's so adorable…"

"Elise stole from Mr. Dog-Man…" Goten mumbled sweetly.

"So cute! But I did not steal, I rightfully borrowed."

"How is that in any way, shape or form rightful?" Gohan asked all snottily.

"Oh shut up rice-boy! Nobody asked you!"

"So what are you gonna do with our applications?" Carrie asked eagerly.

"Well, they'll go through security, be checked for bombs-"

"It's paper for Kami's sake," Gohan interrupted, rather rudely.

"-Then after a tough screening process, in which no-one will get through unless they are PERFECT for Mr. Carter. Then he will pick which one is the best."

I got up to go deliver the applications, hoping that at least one of the security guards were alive.

"At last! I have waited a life-time for such an opportunity with Mr. Carter!" Eric mumbled dreamily as he fell against the lockers.

"Since when!" Carrie asked/yelled. I snickered to myself thinking maybe she was jealous.

Carrie whacks Elise with a metal chair.

"For fuck's sake! That hurt!"

Down in the guidance councillors office.

"Hey Kamui?" I asked the rather unstable teen. "Don't suppose you could sort through these? All of my security guards are in the nurses office…"

"I know," he said getting choked up. "It's all my fault… KATORI!"

"Um… Maybe I should do these myself…"

"No... I must take responsibility for the world one of these days!" He snatched the forms away and shoved them in his 'out' bin.

"Do you live on this plain of existence...?"

As I got back to my crowd, I looked at my watch.

"Holy popcorn Batman! The Raptors will be arriving soon!" I yelled and ran down the hall.

"Popcorn tastes good," Goten pointed out.

Eric looked around uneasily, he then cleared his throat and in my voice said: "Kawaii!" Then he followed me down the hall.

"That…" Carried started.

"Was…" Trunks continued.

"Awkward…" Gohan finished.

"How so? Elise just likes Mo Pete better than Goten I guess…" Sonya said, and then pondered. "Mo Pete and Vince Carter…" She trailed off.

Carrie, Trunks and Gohan gave their looks of disgust, and then joined Sonya in running after Eric and I.

"Eric sounds like Elise." Goten mumbled, but no one was left to comment on his cuteness.

At the main doorway (right by the office), Moosie and Osito were at either sides of the doorframe, Youji on the ceiling with bandages on his arms, Aoi was licking his knives through a hole in his full-body bandages. You couldn't see his insane glace, but it still kept the teenyboppers at bay. Kamui was leading them in.

Them: Jerome Williams (J.Y.D.), Alvin Williams (brothers separated at birth, one raised in a monastery and the other in Las Vegas… or two chaps with the same last name?), Chris Childs (HURRAH!), Morris Peterson (Mo Pete, drool) and our guest of honour; Vince Carter!

The teenyboppers swooned, fainted, and hopefully died from the sight of them.

"Imagine their locker room games…" Sonya mumbled, followed by Carrie hitting her with a mallet.

Youji led the five Raptors into the Library.

"Hotness override…" Eric mumbled as his brain fried.

"Stupid queer…" Trunks mumbled.

"Asshole!" I yelled and dropped kicked him, and then ran for my life to the office.

Aoi soon joined me.

"And who might you be?" Aoi inquired through his bandages.

"Oh Jebus Aoi! Now is not the time! Did Kamui sort through the applications?"

"Uh…" Aoi looked around confused… well. I think he did. I couldn't exactly see his eyes.

"No?" I asked a little scared that on my first assignment that Vegeta's Personal Assistant! echo-y voice might be behind schedule!

"No, I haven't not sorted them!" Aoi shot back at me.

"…What? It wasn't even your-"

"Here are the final five." Aoi said quickly and shoved five applications in my hand that he pulled out of the bag.

With the applications in my hand I ran to the library. What a busy day I was having!

I ran past Kamui, under Youji, charged by Chris Childs and Mo Pete with all my will power and finally got to Vince. "I give you, the final five to choose from."

Vince took them and read their names.

"Carrie… Sonya… Akane… Relena… Eric… Guess that's supposed to be Erica."

"Uh…" I said nervously. "Yeah… Erica… my sister…"

Oh dear.

He read over some of the applications… I floated over to Mo Pete...

"Hello there…" I said all dreamy-like. Then I floated over to Chris Childs… and then Youji's head shot down from the ceiling.

"Um… Elise?" He asked, his night-vision goggles almost poking my eyes out.

"Honestly…" I mumbled pushing his head away.

"Where's J.Y.D.?"

"Oh dear Kami! He's on the loose!" I fell back to the ground and looked around in shock. "And Alvin has been stolen away by evil teenyboppers."

"No, I'm right here," Alvin said, but I didn't hear him.

"WHAT WILL I DO!"

"Hey, how's this Erica person? She sounds nice," Vince said behind me.

"Oh this is just PERFECT!"

"Perfect? Really?"

"Nothing's ever been so perfect!"

"That sounds great!" Vince said excitedly.

"Quick Youji! To the Bat-Mobile!"

I ran out of the library and Youji suctioned his way after me.

Remembering that I had forgotten something, I quickly ran back into the library kissed Chris Childs first, and then Mo Pete… where I was enable to move my eyes from his…

"Nahadaha…" I mumbled quietly.

"Elise!" Youji yelled, and pulled me out of the library, thinking up new and unseen ways to kill a basketball player.

During my search for the teenybopper kidnapers and J.Y.D. before he found any sugar, I ran into the gym where they were announcing the winner.

"Erica Haskell."

"WHAT!" Came the chorus of… well… everyone. Including Eric.

"Eric!" Carrie said and began throttling him. "HOW! HOW! … WHY! You're so not getting into my Fan Club for this!"

"Carrie's killing Eric," Goten mumbled.

"Kawaiiiii!" I yelled as I ran by.

Then Carrie got a thought.

"Say… Eric…" She said as she stopped throttling the poor boy and put an arm around him. He blushed. "How about you let me take your place on this little… 'date' thingy? Hum?"

Eric just sorta stared.

"Stare for yes."

Eric stared.

"Oh thank you!" Carrie said, almost kissed him from joy, then remembered it was It and ran over to Vince. "Yeah, Erica Haskell, right here!"

So Carrie went on this date, she can tell all about this. Eric spent the night in the gym all tranced-out like. Youji got stuck to the ceiling for the night. The Raptors spent the night at the school (J.Y.D. wasn't found that day). And I got me a Bat-Mobile!

So… I guess Chris Childs and Mo Pete will be around for a bit… drool