Chapter 19
I found myself sitting between Gawain and Lancelot at the tavern. I did not have much interest in eating, but as the trays of food came out, I began to feel an appetite coming on. Lena was working tonight, and was one of the serving maids bringing out the trays of food for the newly returned knights. She kept shooting angry glances my way, but I tried to ignore her. I had not spent much time in the tavern since my debt had been paid to Haman, so I rarely had to deal with the girl.
It was easy to ignore her looks, but when she banged the back of my head with one of her trays, I turned to glare back at her, but she was already on her way back to the kitchen. Stupid girl, I thought to myself that better had been an accident.
It was obvious it was not an accident, when she returned to the table again. Only this time she grabbed my braid and gave it a hard yank. "You are in my seat." She hissed in my ear.
I jumped up and turned to face her, now thoroughly annoyed. I wanted to take my fist and slam it in her pretty little face, but that would only make me sink to her level.
"What is your problem?" I asked quietly.
"Move Taryn" she said again. Apparently she was quite annoyed that I was sitting between her two favorite knights.
"Fine Lena if you want to sit here be my guest, I am not in the mood to argue with you." I said.
I reached down to grab my plate of food, I had seen Phillip sitting at another table, and would be just as happy to join him. A hand grabbing my wrist stopped my departure.
"Taryn, you are not moving for her, and we want you here with us." Gawain said giving Lena a hard stare.
"Yeah, go bother someone else." Bors yelled at her.
She turned around to head back to the kitchen, her shoulder hung with defeat. Any other day I probably would have enjoyed seeing this, but today I only felt pity on her. I sank back down onto the bench.
"I don't know why you took that from her Taryn, if it would have been me I would have taken her down." Galahad said.
"I am sure you could have taken her Taryn." Lancelot said with a smile.
"I don't know girls fight dirty, and Lena is a little hellcat." Gawain replied.
"You would know Gawain." Galahad said with a laugh.
I turned to look at Gawain questioningly. I don't know why but the thought of him and Lena together made me sick.
"History Taryn and I blame it on bad judgment and a lot of ale." He said with a shrug of his shoulders. "You're pretty spunky though, Galahad is right, you could probably take her."
"I don't feel like "taking" anyone. I just want to finish my meal and go back to my room and go to sleep." I said taking a bite of roasted duck. I heard a woman's giggling from the other side of the room. I looked and saw that Lena had attached herself to some poor man's side. The couple turned as if feeling my eyes upon them, and I saw the poor man, was Phillip, and he seemed to be enjoying her company. What men saw in her I will never know?
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I finished my meal in silence, and made my way back up to my room. I tried to fall asleep, but it would not come. My mind kept wandering back to the girl. I found myself thinking about her, and what her life had been like as a woad. She was with the group of woads that were known as the rebels, I found it strange a young girl would be with them, for they were the enemies of Merlin, who was the great woad leader.
I wished I would have gotten Ursula from Phillip, for she would have been good company tonight. There was no way I would go to his room now, for there is no telling who would be there with him. I thought ruefully.
After several hours of lying there, I heard the sound of lightening crashing. I ran to look out my window, another storm. I ran back to bed and pulled the covers back over my head. The lightening continued to strike, it reminded me of the night Gawain and I had spent in the cave. It would be so nice to have him here with me now; I had slept so well with him next to me.
I knew he was already in bed. I had heard him come into his room about an hour ago, and it sounded as if he was alone. Unable to deal with the insomnia and the thoughts of the girl any longer, I decided to go to him. Gawain understood me, and I hoped he would not laugh at me.
I grabbed my cloak and stepped into the cold hallway. Thankfully it was empty. I knocked quietly on his locked door. A shirtless Gawain answered the door.
"Taryn is something wrong?" He asked looking concerned, for it was not often, that I knocked on his door in the middle of the night.
"Gawain, I can't sleep with the storm and all, I was just wondering if you were still awake."
"I was in bed, but as you can see I am still awake." He said with a smile. "Hurry and come in, you are shivering." He said opening the door wide.
I walked in and looked around. His bed did look as if he had just climbed out of it. I saw two large chairs in front of the fireplace. I went and made myself comfortable in one of them. Gawain came and sat in the one next to me.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked.
"Not really" I answered honestly.
We sat and watched the fire, until it began to dwindle down. Gawain stood and placed another large log on it.
"Taryn, I have not had a good night's sleep in a week. I am exhausted and have to go to bed." He said apologetically.
"I'm sorry Gawain for keeping you up, I shouldn't have come." I said standing to leave the room.
"Taryn wait, I am glad you came. Why don't you sleep in here if you are having trouble sleeping?" He offered. "Besides, your fire has probably gone out by now, and your room is surely freezing."
He was right, I had forgotten all about my fire. I looked over at his large bed, it looked very inviting. "If you're sure it is okay." I said hesitantly.
"Come on" He said grabbing my hand and leading me to the big bed. I climbed in and pulled the soft covers over me.
"Mmm," I murmured. "Goose feathers?"
"Yes, Galahad and I missed our blankets from home. We spent most of one fall hunting geese, and then paid one of the ladies in the village to make us each one." He explained lowering himself down on the bed next to me.
I turned over on my side to face him. "It won't be long now, and you will be going home."
"Yes, the day we have waited for, for almost fifteen years, but now that it is soon to be upon us, I actually fear it." He said.
"Why is that?" I asked.
"It will be over fifteen years, things will have changed. Many of the people I know will be dead and gone. I fear I will not even recognize my own family, and what am I to do when I get there?"
"Why you will take a wife, and raise sons and daughters of your own of course." I replied.
"And how will I provide for a family? This life is all I know; I am a knight, not some farmer, or sheep herder." He said with frustration.
"Don't worry, I know all there is about farming, and raising animals, I will teach you." I said with confidence.
He laughed at this statement. "I am sure you could, but what will I teach you in return?" He said, even in the darkness I could see the amusement on his face, and I am sure he could see mine turning red as well.
"I don't know." I mumbled.
"Taryn, I am only teasing you. I will look forward to your help, and expect it when we arrive back in Sarmatia. You have given me new found hope."
"Goodnight Gawain." I said rolling over, so my back was now facing him, for he was teasing me again.
"Goodnight Taryn." He said with a laugh.
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I awoke to the sound of someone screaming. I felt hands on my shoulders shaking me.
"Taryn, Taryn, stop it this instant. You will have every knight in here with their sword drawn ready to kill me." Gawain was saying to me. I realized the scream was my own. I looked around, and saw it was still dark outside, and still storming, hopefully the storm had drowned out my screams.
"Were you having a nightmare?" He asked.
"Yes" I began, my lip trembling, thinking back to the dream. "I was remembering the girl, and the fight, but only this time it was her axe that found its way to my belly, and instead of you slitting that man's throat, he cut yours." I said my whole body beginning to shake.
"Taryn you have to stop thinking about it." He said.
"I know but I can't" I said my eyes filling with tears.
"Please just hold me Gawain." I begged. His only response was to pick me up and hold me tightly in his arms.
"Will I ever get over this?" I asked looking up into his eyes.
"You will in time, I promise you that." He said softly. Almost as if to seal his promise, he lowered his head and his lips soon found mine. This kiss was different from the last. It was not like a man giving a girl a first kiss. It was deeper; it was if it had more meaning, and as if he wanted something back in return. I was soon kissing him with all the energy and pent up emotion that was in me. The feeling running through my body was unlike anything I had ever felt. It actually started to scare me, so I pulled back.
He looked down at me the look in his eye was unreadable, but I am not sure I wanted to know what he was thinking. I wrapped my arms around his waist and clung to him.
He sank down into the bed with me still in his arms. I lay my head on to the pillow, but kept my arms around him. I fell asleep with only one thought in my head. Gawain.
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I did not rise early the next morning, but neither did my bed partner. I looked over to see Gawain still fast asleep. I sat there watching him. It amazed me how he could look so fierce on the battle field, but yet laying her in bed with strands of hair falling in his face; he seemed so peaceful, and gentle.
I slipped out of the bed quietly trying not to wake him. I stepped into the hallway and made my way to my room, unnoticed or so I thought.
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AN: Unbeknown to Taryn, someone saw her leaving. This is what played out after Taryn shut her door.
Tristan shook his head in disbelief, as he watched Taryn leaving Gawain's room. It was obvious she had spent the night there for he had already knocked on her door that morning to check on her.
'What was she doing in there?' He thought to himself. 'No good can come of it.'
Tristan being a scout was not the type to just sit back and see what happened. He made his way to Gawain's door, and opened the unlocked door. He was not surprised to see a still sleeping Gawain, and the evidence that he had not spent the night alone.
He walked over to the pitcher of water that was on a bedside table, and poured a cup full. He walked over the sleeping form of Gawain, and threw the whole contents of the cup at his face.
"What the bloody…" Gawain said jumping to his feet, and reaching for his dagger. "Tristan" he said seeing who the intruder was, and then looked quickly to the other side of his bed to find it empty. He sighed in obvious relief. "What in gods name are you doing in my room heaving water at me?"
"Waking you up." He said shortly.
"Well you did that, so you can leave a happy man." Gawain said smartly.
"What was Taryn doing leaving your room." He asked suddenly.
Gawain starred at him, trying to come up with some kind of an answer.
"Don't lie to me, for I will know you are." Tristan warned.
"Oh Tristan, it was nothing. She had a night mare, and couldn't sleep. She came to talk to me, and fell asleep in my room. Honestly nothing happened." He explained, excluding to mention the late night kiss.
"Good, because it would not do for her to get involved with one of you." Tristan said.
"And why not?" Gawain asked defensively.
"Gawain we are knights, and knights die. We will be traveling home soon, and I will not have her traveling heartbroken and with a baby in tow. She is young; there will be plenty of time for her to find a man when we arrive in Sarmatia." He said.
"Tristan, you make it sound as if we are all going to die here." Gawain questioned.
"Many of us have, and many of us still could." He said sadly. "Promise me Gawain, as a brother knight, that there is nothing more between you the friendship."
"Tristan, I promise. Taryn is only my friend like a little sister." He assured praying Tristan would not see through his lie, for he would never kiss a sister as he had Taryn.
"Good make sure she knows that." He said leaving the room.
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AN: Back to Taryn.
Gawain seemed strange to me that day. Just as the time before when he had kissed me he did not mention it. I guess I was wrong in thinking the kiss had meant something to him, I thought with some disappointment. He must have just been trying to take my mind of the dreams.
It did not stop us from being friends though. Over the next two months, I spent most of my time at his side. I enjoyed his company more than any other. He no longer treated me as a little girl, in fact no one did. I had grown up in their eyes. Going to battle, and shedding blood had a way of maturing a person far beyond their years. I still spent my mornings with Phillip riding or hunting if the snow permitted it, and Gawain spent time with Galahad, who seemed quite jealous of our friendship.
We saw no sign of the woads since that day at the creek, or any other enemy for that matter. Gawain was right the snow did slow them down. There was plenty to do though around the fort. There was wood to gather, and chop, hunting to be done. Weapons and amour was mended, and tack repaired. The days were almost as busy as the summer ones. We did find time though for the occasional snow ball fight.
Ursula's coat had grown thick, and there were no longer any traces of the smell of skunk. She resumed her place at night at the foot of my bed. I was able to sleep most nights without the dreams, but I had not forgotten the girl. I found myself holding her necklace and running my fingers over the smooth beads, much like the Catholics did their rosaries. I am not sure why I took her necklace to begin with. It was almost as if it had drawn me to it. I was intrigued by this girl, and her death, the haunting pleading look in her eyes. I first thought her look was begging me to help save her, but as I remembered back, maybe the look was pleading with me to end her life, and do it quickly. She had a fear in her eyes, but as she died, an almost peaceful look came to her. I am not sure what any of it meant, and would probably never know.
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AN: To the 13 people who reviewed the last chapter you guys rock! I am glad you like how it was written. I just could not see Taryn killing someone, and being fine with it right away, it takes getting used to. I work in a hospital and watched a 17 year old die from a self inflicted gun wound, and then had to clean the body. It haunted me and gave me bad dreams for weeks, and to this day I can still see his beautiful face. So I did draw from my life some for that chapter.
I hoped you like this chapter. I hope how I left Gawain and Taryn's relationship is okay there is more to come, and more Phillip also. I hope I did not take Tristan to out of character for his scene with Gawain, I am trying to keep him in character, but also he is different in this story, because he is a father.
If you are wondering where we are at time wise, we are at the end of winter. Spring will soon becoming. In my story the events of the movie will be happening in the fall early winter. So that gives us 6-7 months or so before we catch up to the movie. Please please please review, and tell me what you think.