The Never-Ending Story
Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own anything of Spirited Away. And that's that )
The lights, they are blinding. The room, cold.
Ouch, it hurts. Where is everyone else? Why isn't anyone I know here?
Turn off the lights, I can't see properly! Leave me alone, take away the pain! Let the tears flow!
Where am I? Where? WHERE!
-----
"Chihiro! Chihiro-chan! Wake up, you are going to be late for school again!"
Someone was calling out her name, a soothing and familiar voice. It was so close as if the woman was simply breathing by her side. She was beginning to shake the groggy figure of Chihiro, still calling out to her to remind her that it would soon be eight o'clock and that she ought to be awake by now.
"…huh…" Chihiro managed to force open her heavy eyelids and even though the scene was still as misty, there was no mistake in recognising the short brown hair and slightly plump outline of a woman she had known so well for the past nineteen years. That, that's Mrs. Ogino isn't it…
Mrs. Ogino…yes…Mrs. Ogino…
"Mother!" Chihiro could barely contain the shock within her as she sat up in breakneck speed, flinging the covers off her and nearly falling off her bed in sheer surprise. "Mother, is that you!"
Mrs. Ogino looked worriedly at her daughter as though she was suffering from a disease of some sort, possibly leading to a future case of amnesia or so, and she hastily placed her palm over Chihiro's forehead to check the temperature. "Why, yes Chihiro, don't you recognise me? Well if you don't, you should realise that you are going to be late if you continue to behave like a three year old baby." She wiped her hands on the apron she was wearing and indicated that breakfast was already prepared and waiting on the dining table. She was saying something else about the family car and sausages but Chihiro's mind was in too much of a whirl to really take in the facts.
Mother? But I thought that I was back in Kamikakushi! Was that all some…weird dream? Chihiro shook her head to clear the mist within it but somehow it just made it hurt more and her subconsciousness seemed to be failing her slowly. She tried to gulp a few mouthfuls of the air to steady her breathing but her irregular pulse stated otherwise. Dream or reality? She had absolutely no idea and decided to go wash up before any seconds thoughts could hit her again.
It did, however, in the form of a splitting headache and Chihiro found herself dropping to her knees, clutching onto her throbbing head and willing the ache to go away. The world began to spin round and round again, and for that split moment Chihiro thought that the floor beneath her had seemed to break into pieces of rubble and stone…
-----
"Yes, yes she's stirring. The drowsiness must be passing!" A voice again, speaking in hushed tones but it was not her mother. That, Chihiro was certain even though the headache was still there and she was having troubles in opening her eyes because of the sudden changes from complete darkness to rays of morning light.
"Ugh," she muttered while trying to sit up on the hard floor, her fingers scraping against it. Someone had kindly reached out his/her hand to help her and she was feeling all too grateful because the grogginess had not yet faded and she was suspecting herself of seeing doubles around her now.
"Uh thanks." Chihiro smiled weakly and looked up, into the expectant eyes of a young lady by the name of Rin.
"Rin!" She exclaimed, all pain and exhaustion thrown to the winds as she flung her arms around the surprised woman who accepted the greeting just as happily. "I missed you!"
"I expected that coming," Rin replied and winked teasingly at Chihiro who made a face, pretending to be angry. "But again, why are you back? I thought you should be happier out of Yubaba's grasp." Speaking in light tones, she pushed the fringes out of Chihiro's face and took a long, good look at it.
"Why…why can't I?" Chihiro retorted. She brushed the dust off her clothings and got up only to find herself in Rin's living quarters at the bathhouse. This was where she had lived so many years ago, even though it was only such a short stay, but she certainly had had her share of laughter and tears, fun and adventure…
The burning question popped into her mind once more, this time clearly and more formulated but Chihiro found it as usual ta be a tough one to ask about. She turned to face Rin, who still was kneeling on the floor and tried to look nonchalant, keeping her eyes trained on the newly purchased items in the room. Somehow though, she had a gut feeling that Rin was keeping her gaze on her fully as if she was simply waiting for her to ask the crucial question…
"Aren't you going to ask about him?" It came, except that it came from Rin's mouth instead of Chihiro's gaping one. She stopped and turned her back against Rin, fearing that she would see the indecisiveness and anxiety in her own eyes.
"Who?" The reply came in casual tones, or at least forced casual tones. "You mean Kamaji?"
"Chi-…you know that I don't mean him." There was a shuffling of feet, maybe Rin was walking but she continued nonetheless. "Kohaku, don't you want to know about him? Where he is, what he's doing, how is his life?"
Chihiro bit her lip, uncertain of what she should say in return. "Well…he can live his life in any manner as long as he is happy with it, I don't know…learn more magic, earn more money, even…get a girlfriend." She was shocked though, that by the end of her sentence how bitter her tone had sounded but she attempted weakly to cover it up with a falsely cheery laugh.
"Girlfriend!" There was a cacophony of footsteps hurrying in Chihiro's direction and someone, Rin, forcefully turned her around. Both girls stared at each other, one in confusion and the other in anxiety. "Tell me, did you see something before you came here? As in, well before you fainted at my doorstep…"
"Wait a minute, hold your horses Rin. I fainted at your doorstep? When was that!"
"Huh? Then how did you arrive here, dropping from the sky? You were knocked out at the bathhouse entrance and there were customers coming round already so I dragged you in here for a rest and fed you some medicine…Se-, oh gee, I still can't get over that habit. Chihiro, are you okay? I mean, did that fall smash your nerves or something?" She grabbed the stunned girl by her shoulders and shook them repeatedly, only to relent after Chihiro started to squeal in giddiness. "Right, sorry…but-"
"But what?" She was starting to sound irritated by the way Rin seemed to be hiding a thousand things from her, trying out means and ways to avoid her gaze. "If you're not going to tell me, things are definitely not going to get better."
"Gee, Chihiro, you're really growing into an articulate lady…well, if you really want to know…not that I can actually even hide it from you because, well, bad news tend to spread really fast…it's just-" But the untimely call from downstairs broke their intimate conversation, an urgent appeal for Rin to come down quickly.
"Rin! Rin! Hurry down here, we need lots of help here!"
Rin seemed just as irritated and exasperated for her reply came hastily. "Yeah, I got that Suzuki! Listen, I really cannot stay any longer, and I understand that you probably have thousands of questions in your head now but I must go…just remember not to wander around yourself, and," she looked hard into Chihiro's wide eyes, speaking every syllable so clearly as if she was lecturing a seven-year old child. "Steer clear of Haku-san's way, you get that? No matter what, do NOT try to talk to him, get close to him, find him whatever. Get that? I'll be back by eleven, I suppose, I'll find you here." Rin tied up the sash on her clothings and hurrying to put on her slippers, dashed out of the room.
Footsteps could be heard hurrying down the staircases and then, nothing was left but the harsh night winds blowing in though the open window and the millions of burning questions running through Chihiro's confused mind.
Questions, indeed. Just what was wrong with hanging around with Kohaku? And wasn't he supposed to have left Kamikakushi the day she herself left? And just what happened when she fainted and what creature was it which had tried to slash at her as if she had personally murdered its entire family…Family. She was starting to feel guilty, yet it was not because she had practically walked out on her parents but the fact that she was not feeling homesick at all.
Chihiro ran her fingers through her hair, contemplating further action. Was she really going to sit here and wait for answers, or try searching for them herself? After all, there was still time before the clock struck eleven…
-----
Kamikakushi at night was a very different scene from the morning. During the day, all one could see were endless plains of barren lands and abandoned stalls, but at night it was a place bursting with entertainment and flashing lights. It was the place for relaxation and fun and definitely one of liveliness. But of course, not everybody would be entirely pleased to see unauthorised people sneaking around for the act was widely known as "tresspassing" and more than often, the consequences were not exactly the best things in the world.
Which was why Chihiro, even though knew this place rather well, chose to move around the city in stealth mode and chose to avoid the most crowded of places and minimize the risk of being caught by surly guards.
Prioritise, her brain had analysed the situation and come out with a very valuable word, and currently that word was equivalent to Kohaku. But where would he be? Probably at Yubaba's office or something, and secretly she smiled to herself because she was going to embark on the same route she had taken eons ago on a trip to visit the resident witch.
Sure, it was definitely not the most pleasant event of her entire life, but it had its fair share of excitement and risks, and as her father would always say after work, success comes with calculated risks, Chihiro thought inwardly, her body uncomfortably squashed against the elevator walls except that this time, what was squashing her was a very much oversized female which did not look like anything Chihiro could associate with her school text.
The lift bell rang to signal the arrival at a level before Yubaba's and the customers all filed out one by one to their respective positions at the bathhouse. All, except the fat female creature which seemed very much oblivious to the fact that someone much smaller was crushed under her bodyweight very uncomfortably. Chihiro considered telling her that the bathhouses ended on the floor below but the bell rang once more and the lift doors opened to reveal the same dark surroundings which never failed to give Chihiro the creeps.
Suddenly, she wondered why on earth was she even trying to find Kohaku under such difficult circumstances.
The female creature gave a grunt in acknowledgement and tentatively popped her head out to take a good look of the surroundings. She sniffed around, now breathing heavily as she shuffled out and turned down the right corridors which were mainly closed doors, each of a different colour. Chihiro wondered why she had never seen that before but assumed that it was a new addition after she had left.
Now, it was her turn to venture out into the darkness. Chihiro took a deep steadying breath and once out realised that she had no idea where to look for the boy, or maybe a man by now. Certainly not face-to-face with Yubaba, she shuddered at the thought of even seeing the woman on a photograph.
She reached into her pockets and dug out a coin which she had got on an overseas trip once. It was her lucky charm, as she would always say to her classmates, of course, and the hairtie which Zeniba and the rest had made for her the last time she came to Kamikakushi. She flipped it and fate decided for her to move right.
Tiptoeing on the carpeted floor, she listened carefully and looked around for anything which could bring her to her final destination, anything which she could associate with Kohaku. Maybe if she had been more alert, she would have noticed something creeping up behind her, something with ominous-looking 2 heads.
Someone was talking rather loudly inside one of the rooms, but her voice was too fast to be comprehended properly. Chihiro pressed her ear against the room door to try to get a better impression of the conversation, but the voice which replied startled her for a moment.
"Yes I understand the situation, I know exactly how to deal with her…fear not, my heart lies here and remains unchanged…" His voice became muffled and Chihiro assumed that he was walking further into the room when suddenly there was shuffling of feet towards her direction and without hesitation, the door was flung open to reveal a familiar face and a familiar figure.
Chihiro cupped her palms over her mouth to avoid having her gasp being heard by others but Kohaku seemed to be looking equally surprised and shocked for his gaze remained riveted on her face, gaping.
"Is there anything wrong there, Haku-sama?" The female voice, this time in a wary tone.
Kohaku hesitated for a split second but replied. "No, nothing. I must get going now." With that he gently shut the door behind him and turned to grab Chihiro by the wrist, pulling her a few steps away from the room and in front of a purple-coloured door which wrote "No entry" on it.
Warningly, he pressed his fingers on Chihiro's lips while he performed an incantation of some sort, waving his hands in the air and Chihiro felt an icy feeling course through her. It disappeared in the next minute but she could tell that his skills had increased considerably, be it positively or negatively.
"There, no one should be able to eavesdrop on us now, and I've given you twenty minutes of invisibility." He glanced around with guarded eyes before turning back to Chihiro, who was equally stunned by the sudden turn in the situation. "Chihiro, what do you think you are doing by coming back here!"
"I…What about you then, I thought you were leaving to find me?" She retorted angrily, hands on her hips, a gesture which made Kohaku's brows go way up but she disregarded it in her moment of sheer fury and disappointment. "I should be asking you that question instead, Haku-sama."
"Haku-sa…you know my name is Kohaku."
"Don't you know that yourself?"
"…Chihiro, you must understand that everything we do has implications in the future and let's just take it that I decided to stay and hone my skills." He finished off simply, as if he felt that the explanation was more than enough to account for his choice in life.
Chihiro bit her lips, feeling a familiar sense of frustration boiling within her, yet there were tears welling as well. Tears which she herself could not explain why, and they slowly slid out of her eyes and down her cheeks. Kohaku's impassive face showed signs of softening up, reaching out to pat the girl on the shoulder and wipe off her tears. "Just go, this place is not meant for you."
"But I want to stay! And if you cannot find a more suitable reason to chase me out of here, I think that I am quite determined to-" Chihiro screamed, the exact moment when Kohaku leapt swiftly out of the way of the creature so bent on taking the young lady's life. He dragged Chihiro along with him and pushing her onto the ground, shielded her from the monster's approach. She could hear him mutter an incantation, feel the ground vibrating beneath her, sense energy waves formulate around them and she was not sure what had happened exactly but not long after that, Kohaku called to her that it was safe to get up.
Chihiro stumbled to her feet and turned around, only to see a wisp of black smoke rising from where the creature had originally been.
"Oh well, that's another thing off my mind." She looked up at Kohaku but the way his eyes seemed to penetrate through hers with sheer fury shocked her a little. Through him, she could sometimes even feel evilness and a change in his temperament but this was the first time she ever felt all sorts of negative emotions boiling within him, even to the extent of waiting to be unleashed!
"You okay?"
"Fine enough." The same cold tone, the same expressionless face while he shook off some dust on his sleeves.
Yet when he turned around to face Chihiro, she thought she saw the smallest of smiles across his face and she returned it with her biggest smile ever. It was only then when she finally took a long, good look at the person she had been dreaming of for as long as she remembered.
He was a taller and handsome young man now, looking more athletically fit than ever with his well-toned body, even though he still retained his most beautiful green eyes. His clothes were now more intricate in design and his sleek hair was now of shoulder-length. The face was as unreadable as ever, hardly even smiling but Chihiro was just glad to have him around again after such a long wait.
"What are you staring at?" He asked after a long while and Chihiro was jerked back to her senses. She stifled a giggle by passing it off as an unconvincing burp, but he showed no signs of noticing it. "Anyway, I do not approve of you staying but if you are so adamant about it…I guess I'll send you back to Rin's first and I'll see you the first thing next morning."
"Huh? Rin…Oh! I agreed to meet her at eleven! I'm so going to be late!" Chihiro gasped in panic, looking frantically at Kohaku who looked as if he was having a hard time trying to keep in his amusement. "Uh, Kohaku…"
"Listen, I'll send you back now within seconds now but you must promise to stay where Rin is and not wander around. Okay?"
Chihiro smiled in acknowledgement and reached out her pinky. "Deal?"
Kohaku sighed and locked his pinky with hers. "Deal." The promise was made and Chihiro felt her heart lift considerably. She saw Kohaku wave his hands slightly and a wisp of green smoke slowly unfolded before her eyes. It was as if the world was breaking apart beneath her but before she could yell anything, her feet touched the familiar ground of Rin's quarters and she fell to her knees, exhausted but equally excited about her encounter with Kohaku.
And Rin was even telling me not to get any closer to Kohaku…Chihiro mused inwardly. How strange.
There were giggles and excited talk outside the door and Chihiro looked up in time to see Rin return with a group of babbling friends, each of them gasping in surprise when they saw Chihiro. Equally elated, she exchanged hugs with each and every one of them and chatted about the good old days until the wee hours of night and having worked hard all evening, the girls dropped into deep slumbers.
It was only then did she realise that Rin was standing on the corridors, eyes cast on somewhere far out at sea. She's waiting for me, Chihiro thought as she rubbed her sleepy eyes but nonetheless slipped into her slippers and went out to join her friend.
"How is Haku-sama nowadays?"
The question took Chihiro completely off guard and she looked hastily away from Rin's probing gaze, choosing to be more interested in the horizon far, far away. "I…I don't know."
"Why bother hiding it? I know it already. I mean, I saw you leaving. Where else could you go to?" Rin returned her gaze to the same horizon and a familiar sense of nostalgia overwhelmed both girls.
"I…He's fine. Not as bad as you think of him, I suppose."
Rin did not reply but chose to hum a little tune. It did not sound familiar so Chihiro thought it must be a song of this land, something exotic but its slow melancholic tune brought about many feelings within herself. Things she thought she had forgotten about, things she would want to forget about…
The song ended soon, and Rin yawned an indication of wanting to go back to bed. "I dunno, but," she paused slightly. "After all these years, some things may have changed." She turned to walk back into her darkened quarters for bed, but added as an afterthought. "But definitely not our friendship."
"Goodnight, Chihiro." She closed the doors partially behind her, leaving only a gap for better ventilation.
Chihiro looked distantly at the grids on the door, the flimsy papers stuck between the wooden blocks. What Kohaku had mentioned about interrelations, it seemed to strike a chord within yet she could not say what was it. And there was Rin's attitude, why did things all seem so complicated when one grew up?
The night was quiet, the waves of the ocean rolling onto the shore in clear ripples. Above, the crescent moon shone on dimly in a sky without stars. Chihiro suddenly felt an urge to sit down and cry, but even crying seemed to be so difficult now.
She could not, and she would not.
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Thanks a million to all those who reviewed, that really gave me the boost to continue with the story! Yeps, and all the reviews are just so detailed! I'm really thankful cuz it really gave me all the suggestions and comments which are real useful to my writing, so my heart goes all out to Kyr the d00b, The Silver Feathered Raven, ROLAMdimensi, kohirihiri and ChildlikeEmpress! ))