Chapter Seven: Discussions and Decisions
Spike and Buffy stopped glaring at each other and both turned to Tara in shock. Spike was the first to regain control of his voice, "What did you just say?"
"I think that it's my fault that Buffy's pregnant," Tara admitted
"How is that possible?" Spike asked, looking at Tara skeptically. "Last I heard it only takes two, plus I haven't done any three ways since South America."
"You're disgusting," Buffy told Spike.
"Oh come on," Spike said. "You like me that way."
"I must have been drugged or something to even let you touch me."
"I didn't know drugs could last for over five hours," Spike leered at her.
"You're…" Buffy started to say.
"Okay, enough," Tara said. "I need to explain how this happened."
"Sure," Spike said. "Tell us."
"Buffy, you remember when you told me about you and Spike? That he could hit you now?"
"Yeah," Buffy said. "But what does that have to do with…"
"I started thinking about how Spike could fight you now and what might happen if he ever turned against you. And if his chip ever malfunctioned…."
"I would never turn against Buffy," Spike said. "I love her. You know that."
"You loved Drucilla too," Buffy pointed out. "And didn't you try and kill her once?"
"That was different," Spike said.
"How? Is that how it works with you vampires, kill your old girlfriend to impress your new infatuation?"
"Anyway," Tara said, breaking into their conversation. "I decided that I had to do something. So I did some research and I found a spell that would make sure that Spike wouldn't ever be able to hunt or kill again."
"What spell is that?" Spike asked. "A lobotomy?"
"No," Tara said. "It's a kind of resurrection spell."
"Like what Darla had done to her?" Spike asked.
"Darla?" Buffy asked. "Angel staked her a long time ago."
"Yes and then she got brought back and Dru revamped her. Last I heard she and Dru were causing all kinds of mayhem all over L.A."
"Does Angel know about this?" Buffy asked, concerned.
Spike's face became expressionless, "Considering that he set them on fire, I'd say he does."
Tara broke in. This whole conversation was getting confusing and it was impossible to keep them focused on her explanation, "So I found a spell that would turn Spike human again and I decided to try it."
"Who asked you to?!" Spike yelled. "I never said that I wanted to be mortal again. I may have this chip in my skull but I'd never go back to being what I was."
"That's right," Buffy added. "Being a soulless, heartless killer is so much more fun."
"I made a choice over a hundred years ago," Spike told them. "I chose what I am. I don't have any regrets and I don't need you to change any of it for me."
"Well it didn't work, so what are you complaining about?" Buffy asked.
"That you think you can control my life that way," Spike yelled. "I spent my entire human life letting other people make my decisions for me, who my nannies were going to be, who my tutors were, where and what I studied at the University…everything. Then I was turned and for the first time I was able to control my own destiny. I did what I wanted to do. No one told me how to live my life and I liked it that way.
"Fine," Buffy said. "You want to stay a heartless killer. But what does making you human again have to do with me being pregnant?"
"The spell I cast is very old and very complicated. I haven't found any records of it being done successfully but I still wanted to try it, so I got everything I needed and cast the spell." Tara looked at Buffy and said, "From what you've told me it sounds like your baby was conceived on the night that I cast the spell."
"So what does one have to do with the other?" Spike asked impatiently.
"I think that what happened is the spell worked," Tara explained. "Spike was turned human just long enough for you to conceive. You two were probably so caught up in the moment that neither one of you noticed that Spike had become human and since the spell didn't work…"
"So you cast a spell that made Spike human just long enough to get me pregnant?" Buffy asked. Tara didn't say anything. She just nodded. Buffy shuddered and said, "I think I'm going to be sick. How could you do this to me?"
"I was just trying to help," Tara tried to explain.
"Well your 'helping' got me pregnant by William the Bloody," Buffy said sarcastically. She shook her head, "It doesn't matter, though. Because I am not having this baby."
"Oh yes you are," Spike said, threateningly. "That's not up for debate."
"For once I agree," Buffy said. "It's not up for debate. I am not having this baby. The only reason this… thing even exists is because of a spell that Tara messed up."
"I don't care," Spike snapped. "Children are made in all kinds of circumstances, that doesn't change anything. You are not getting rid of this child."
"Says who?" Buffy snapped. "I'm the one that has to carry this child. I'm the one who has to face all the stares and responsibilities."
"Not alone," Spike said, gently. "You don't have to face this alone. I won't go anywhere and I'll help you with whatever you need."
"And you're the most trustworthy person in the world."
"You thought so enough to trust me with the Nibblet," Spike pointed out. "I had plenty of chances to betray her and I didn't."
"That was different," Buffy said.
"How?" Spike asked.
Buffy didn't say anything. There really wasn't a good answer to give because Spike was right and she knew it.
"I'll leave you two alone," Tara said. "You really need to talk."
"We've said all that we need to say," Buffy said. "Now I'm tired so could you please leave?" She asked Spike.
"I'm not going anywhere," Spike said. "Not until I know that you're not going to do anything stupid. And don't think you can try any de-invitation spells. I'll get an invite. I have before."
"Do you want me to throw you out?" Buffy asked.
"You're not throwing anything," Spike asked. "Now I'm staying and there's nothing you can do about it."
"Watch me," Buffy said.
"Look," Spike said, changing his tone. He knew that he wasn't going to get anywhere fighting with her. "Can we talk about this, not make any rash decisions until we've had a chance to discuss this?"
"No, because there is noting to discuss," Buffy told him. "I've already told you that I am not having this baby."
"Oh yes you are," Spike said, grabbing her wrist. "You will if I have to chain you down in my crypt for the next nine months."
"You wouldn't dare," Buffy said.
"Watch me," Spike said coolly.
"Why don't you two talk about this in the morning," Tara suggested, trying to break up their fight. "When you're both thinking clearer."
"I'm not going to change my mind in the morning," Buffy said.
"Neither am I," Spike said.
"Good," Tara said. "You agree on something."
"That's all we agree on," Buffy said. "Now get out," She ordered Spike. "I want you to leave."
"No," Spike said. "I'm not going anywhere."
"Why can't you just leave?" Buff asked, fighting back tears. "Why won't you just leave me alone."
"Because I can't," Spike said gently. He put his hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes. "I can't leave you anymore than you can stay away from me. We both know that. We're a part of each other, especially now. You can't deny it."
"Yes, I can," Buffy said. "I just want to forget this whole nightmare ever happened."
"You won't," Spike said. "If you get rid of this child then you will regret it, you know it and I know it."
"I can't have this baby," Buffy said desperately. "Don't you understand?"
"I know you're scared," Spike said. By now both of them had forgotten that Tara was there. "So am I," He admitted. "But we have to give this chance. Doesn't this child deserve that much?" He reached down and put his hand on her stomach.
"Don't," She begged.
"Buffy, you are the bravest person I have ever met. In all the time I've known you, you've never run from anything. Don't start running now, especially from this, especially from the only chance either one of us might have at having a child of our own."
"I'm not sure I can do this," Buffy admitted. "I can't raise a child alone."
:"You won't be alone," Spike told her. "You'll have me."
"How do I know that?" Buffy asked.
"Because of this," Spike reached into his pocket, "I've been hanging onto this, trying to find a right time to give it to you." He pulled out a sapphire and diamond necklace. It was a simple necklace with alternating sapphires and diamonds.
"Who'd you steal that from?" Buffy asked, angry that he thought that he could buy her.
"I didn't steal it from anyone," Spike snapped. "I've had it since I was 18 years old. It was my mother's, a wedding present from my father. She gave it to me on my eighteenth birthday. It was originally intended for my wife but since I was turned….. I never got a chance to give it to anyone."
"What about Drucilla?" Buffy asked.
"There was never a right time and I didn't feel right about giving it to her. Something always held me back. But I want you to have it," Spike said, handing her the necklace.
Buffy stared at the necklace and tried to hand it back to him, "I can't accept this."
"Yes you can," Spike told her. "It's a promise. I've been all over the world but no matter where I've been I've kept two things with me and that necklace is one of them. So as long as you have this necklace and my child then you know that I won't go anywhere."
Buffy stared at him for a long time, wondering if she should believe him. She finally sighed and said, "Alright, I still don't trust you but it looks like I don't have a choice."
"No, you don't.," Spike agreed. He looked around the house and said, "So I'll move in tomorrow."
Buffy started to protest but sighed and said, "Fine, we'll figure it out as we go along." Without looking at either Spike or Tara she went upstairs and collapsed on her bed. She was exhausted, both mentally and physically. So much had happened in one day and she didn't know how she was going to deal with it all but finally exhaustion overcame her and she drifted off to sleep.
Spike and Buffy stopped glaring at each other and both turned to Tara in shock. Spike was the first to regain control of his voice, "What did you just say?"
"I think that it's my fault that Buffy's pregnant," Tara admitted
"How is that possible?" Spike asked, looking at Tara skeptically. "Last I heard it only takes two, plus I haven't done any three ways since South America."
"You're disgusting," Buffy told Spike.
"Oh come on," Spike said. "You like me that way."
"I must have been drugged or something to even let you touch me."
"I didn't know drugs could last for over five hours," Spike leered at her.
"You're…" Buffy started to say.
"Okay, enough," Tara said. "I need to explain how this happened."
"Sure," Spike said. "Tell us."
"Buffy, you remember when you told me about you and Spike? That he could hit you now?"
"Yeah," Buffy said. "But what does that have to do with…"
"I started thinking about how Spike could fight you now and what might happen if he ever turned against you. And if his chip ever malfunctioned…."
"I would never turn against Buffy," Spike said. "I love her. You know that."
"You loved Drucilla too," Buffy pointed out. "And didn't you try and kill her once?"
"That was different," Spike said.
"How? Is that how it works with you vampires, kill your old girlfriend to impress your new infatuation?"
"Anyway," Tara said, breaking into their conversation. "I decided that I had to do something. So I did some research and I found a spell that would make sure that Spike wouldn't ever be able to hunt or kill again."
"What spell is that?" Spike asked. "A lobotomy?"
"No," Tara said. "It's a kind of resurrection spell."
"Like what Darla had done to her?" Spike asked.
"Darla?" Buffy asked. "Angel staked her a long time ago."
"Yes and then she got brought back and Dru revamped her. Last I heard she and Dru were causing all kinds of mayhem all over L.A."
"Does Angel know about this?" Buffy asked, concerned.
Spike's face became expressionless, "Considering that he set them on fire, I'd say he does."
Tara broke in. This whole conversation was getting confusing and it was impossible to keep them focused on her explanation, "So I found a spell that would turn Spike human again and I decided to try it."
"Who asked you to?!" Spike yelled. "I never said that I wanted to be mortal again. I may have this chip in my skull but I'd never go back to being what I was."
"That's right," Buffy added. "Being a soulless, heartless killer is so much more fun."
"I made a choice over a hundred years ago," Spike told them. "I chose what I am. I don't have any regrets and I don't need you to change any of it for me."
"Well it didn't work, so what are you complaining about?" Buffy asked.
"That you think you can control my life that way," Spike yelled. "I spent my entire human life letting other people make my decisions for me, who my nannies were going to be, who my tutors were, where and what I studied at the University…everything. Then I was turned and for the first time I was able to control my own destiny. I did what I wanted to do. No one told me how to live my life and I liked it that way.
"Fine," Buffy said. "You want to stay a heartless killer. But what does making you human again have to do with me being pregnant?"
"The spell I cast is very old and very complicated. I haven't found any records of it being done successfully but I still wanted to try it, so I got everything I needed and cast the spell." Tara looked at Buffy and said, "From what you've told me it sounds like your baby was conceived on the night that I cast the spell."
"So what does one have to do with the other?" Spike asked impatiently.
"I think that what happened is the spell worked," Tara explained. "Spike was turned human just long enough for you to conceive. You two were probably so caught up in the moment that neither one of you noticed that Spike had become human and since the spell didn't work…"
"So you cast a spell that made Spike human just long enough to get me pregnant?" Buffy asked. Tara didn't say anything. She just nodded. Buffy shuddered and said, "I think I'm going to be sick. How could you do this to me?"
"I was just trying to help," Tara tried to explain.
"Well your 'helping' got me pregnant by William the Bloody," Buffy said sarcastically. She shook her head, "It doesn't matter, though. Because I am not having this baby."
"Oh yes you are," Spike said, threateningly. "That's not up for debate."
"For once I agree," Buffy said. "It's not up for debate. I am not having this baby. The only reason this… thing even exists is because of a spell that Tara messed up."
"I don't care," Spike snapped. "Children are made in all kinds of circumstances, that doesn't change anything. You are not getting rid of this child."
"Says who?" Buffy snapped. "I'm the one that has to carry this child. I'm the one who has to face all the stares and responsibilities."
"Not alone," Spike said, gently. "You don't have to face this alone. I won't go anywhere and I'll help you with whatever you need."
"And you're the most trustworthy person in the world."
"You thought so enough to trust me with the Nibblet," Spike pointed out. "I had plenty of chances to betray her and I didn't."
"That was different," Buffy said.
"How?" Spike asked.
Buffy didn't say anything. There really wasn't a good answer to give because Spike was right and she knew it.
"I'll leave you two alone," Tara said. "You really need to talk."
"We've said all that we need to say," Buffy said. "Now I'm tired so could you please leave?" She asked Spike.
"I'm not going anywhere," Spike said. "Not until I know that you're not going to do anything stupid. And don't think you can try any de-invitation spells. I'll get an invite. I have before."
"Do you want me to throw you out?" Buffy asked.
"You're not throwing anything," Spike asked. "Now I'm staying and there's nothing you can do about it."
"Watch me," Buffy said.
"Look," Spike said, changing his tone. He knew that he wasn't going to get anywhere fighting with her. "Can we talk about this, not make any rash decisions until we've had a chance to discuss this?"
"No, because there is noting to discuss," Buffy told him. "I've already told you that I am not having this baby."
"Oh yes you are," Spike said, grabbing her wrist. "You will if I have to chain you down in my crypt for the next nine months."
"You wouldn't dare," Buffy said.
"Watch me," Spike said coolly.
"Why don't you two talk about this in the morning," Tara suggested, trying to break up their fight. "When you're both thinking clearer."
"I'm not going to change my mind in the morning," Buffy said.
"Neither am I," Spike said.
"Good," Tara said. "You agree on something."
"That's all we agree on," Buffy said. "Now get out," She ordered Spike. "I want you to leave."
"No," Spike said. "I'm not going anywhere."
"Why can't you just leave?" Buff asked, fighting back tears. "Why won't you just leave me alone."
"Because I can't," Spike said gently. He put his hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes. "I can't leave you anymore than you can stay away from me. We both know that. We're a part of each other, especially now. You can't deny it."
"Yes, I can," Buffy said. "I just want to forget this whole nightmare ever happened."
"You won't," Spike said. "If you get rid of this child then you will regret it, you know it and I know it."
"I can't have this baby," Buffy said desperately. "Don't you understand?"
"I know you're scared," Spike said. By now both of them had forgotten that Tara was there. "So am I," He admitted. "But we have to give this chance. Doesn't this child deserve that much?" He reached down and put his hand on her stomach.
"Don't," She begged.
"Buffy, you are the bravest person I have ever met. In all the time I've known you, you've never run from anything. Don't start running now, especially from this, especially from the only chance either one of us might have at having a child of our own."
"I'm not sure I can do this," Buffy admitted. "I can't raise a child alone."
:"You won't be alone," Spike told her. "You'll have me."
"How do I know that?" Buffy asked.
"Because of this," Spike reached into his pocket, "I've been hanging onto this, trying to find a right time to give it to you." He pulled out a sapphire and diamond necklace. It was a simple necklace with alternating sapphires and diamonds.
"Who'd you steal that from?" Buffy asked, angry that he thought that he could buy her.
"I didn't steal it from anyone," Spike snapped. "I've had it since I was 18 years old. It was my mother's, a wedding present from my father. She gave it to me on my eighteenth birthday. It was originally intended for my wife but since I was turned….. I never got a chance to give it to anyone."
"What about Drucilla?" Buffy asked.
"There was never a right time and I didn't feel right about giving it to her. Something always held me back. But I want you to have it," Spike said, handing her the necklace.
Buffy stared at the necklace and tried to hand it back to him, "I can't accept this."
"Yes you can," Spike told her. "It's a promise. I've been all over the world but no matter where I've been I've kept two things with me and that necklace is one of them. So as long as you have this necklace and my child then you know that I won't go anywhere."
Buffy stared at him for a long time, wondering if she should believe him. She finally sighed and said, "Alright, I still don't trust you but it looks like I don't have a choice."
"No, you don't.," Spike agreed. He looked around the house and said, "So I'll move in tomorrow."
Buffy started to protest but sighed and said, "Fine, we'll figure it out as we go along." Without looking at either Spike or Tara she went upstairs and collapsed on her bed. She was exhausted, both mentally and physically. So much had happened in one day and she didn't know how she was going to deal with it all but finally exhaustion overcame her and she drifted off to sleep.