Erik sat in his lair reading the latest headlines in the newspaper. So far: BABY EATS OWN HEAD AT WEDDING; DRAGON WITH NEGATIVE FIVE HUNDRED IQ PLUNGES OFF OF CLIFF AFTER FORGETTING HE CAN FLY; and RAOUL THE FOP STRIKES AGAIN! SCARES LITTLE KID WITH FOPPISHNESS.
Erik mumbled "What a load of..." before hearing a high pitched giggling that was annoying beyond belief. "What the heck was that?" he pondered. The giggling seemed to be coming from his bedroom. He went in there and saw a horrible sight sitting in his bed: A BABY DOLL!
The thing was horrible. It was wearing one of those one piece outfits that you usually see on babies in a horrifying shade of electric pink with iscosoles triangles in yellow and green scattered across it. And its hair! It was so limp and beach blonde and it was tied up into thin little pigtails. And finally, a face more terrible than his own was painted on. The pig like nose and piercing eyes were mere eysores compared to the evil grin on its face which would make anybody's eyes bleed uncontrollably.
"Hi!" the abomination said. "I'm Baby Tumble Tot! Do you wanna do some flips with me"
"No..." Erik said. "I've got more important things to do like punjab Raoul"
"FLIP WITH ME!" the satanic device boomed in a deep, gruff tone.
"No, you stupid thing! Didn't you hear me the first time?" Erik inquired.
Just then, the demonic thing flew from the bed and started clawing Erik's already distorted face. Erik punched the abomination away and stomped on it. But that was no good! The demon leapt from under his feet and bit them. Erik screamed in pain but got away in time to grab the punjab lasso. He wrapped it around the goonie's neck and pulled hard. But the goon was immune to the lasso. It bit it off within .5 seconds.
Then Erik remembered the fool proof way to get rid of the satanic device: Make it listen to Jesse McCartney. Erik pulled out his ghetto blaster (don't ask me how he got it... He just did) and plopped the demonic CD into the drive. Just then, Jesse McCartney's demented song "Beautiful Soul" started streaming throughout the lair. Then Baby Tumble Tot exploded.
"Another day, another satanic device destroyed." Erik said. "Now back to reading my paper."
The End... Or is it?