Chapter Nine: Truths
"How is that possible?" Anya asked. She was the first to recover her voice. "In all my years as a vengeance demon I've never heard of a vampire having a child. Oh it must have been Tara's spell."
"Tara's spell make Spike human just long enough for us to conceive this child," Buffy explained.
"Wow," Xander said. "So um, what now?"
"What do you mean?" Buffy asked.
"I mean, what are you going to do?" Xander asked. "I mean we'll support you in whatever decision you make."
"Yes," Anya agreed. "We'll go with you and hold your hand while you have an abortion performed by an incompetent doctor who won't even wash his hands."
"She's not having an abortion," Spike snarled. Anya's words had brought up some memories of other clinics. He had seen women die because of incompetent doctors and he wasn't letting Buffy be one of them.
"You're not, are you?" Dawn asked horrified. "I mean, you can't."
"No, she's not," Spike assured Dawn.
"She can speak for herself," Buffy snapped. "And no, I'm not getting rid of this baby."
"So instead you're going to have Spike's demon spawn?" Xander asked.
"Hey," Buffy yelled. "Don't you ever talk about my child that way again."
Xander held up his hands in surrender, "Okay, sorry."
"No," Buffy said, running a hand through her hair. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you."
"We understand," Anya said. "Pregnancy hormones are coursing through your body causing nausea, moodiness, frequent urination and other unpleasant symptoms."
"I think we'd better go," Xander said. Buffy was glaring at Anya and Xander didn't want a fight to break out. "We're going to be late for work." They left with Xander saying that he would be back later on in the evening.
"I uh have to go too," Willow said. "I have a class that starts soon."
"Can you take Dawn with you?" Buffy asked.
"Sure," Willow said. "Come on Dawnie."
Dawn started to protest, "But I'm a part of this too."
"Dawn," Spike said. "I promise we'll talk about this when you get home." Dawn nodded and she left with Willow.
"How did you do that?" Buffy asked, amazed.
"Practice," Spike said.
"What's your experience in raising children?" Buffy asked. She couldn't believe that Spike knew anything about children other than how they tasted.
"I've had enough," Spike said shortly.
"Where?" Buffy asked. "Did you and Drucilla turn one or something?"
"No," Spike said. "She wanted me to turn one but I told her no. That's when I gave her Miss Edith. Her dolls were her children."
Buffy sighed. She didn't want to talk about Spike and his days with Drucilla. She knew it shouldn't but for some reason the thought of Spike with someone else bothered her. "Anyway," She said, changing the subject. "We need to make some decisions before Dawn comes home."
"Like what?" Spike asked.
"Well we need to figure out where things stand with us, how we're going to explain your presence to social services, how I'm going to support a child, things like that."
"Fine," Spike said. "Why don't you sit down? I'll clean up in here and make you a cuppa." Buffy eyed him suspiciously but went into the living room and sat down. She had called in sick to work again. She hated to miss another day but she still wasn't feeling like herself yet.
Spike came into the living room carrying a tray that held a cup of tea and a plate with two slices of toast on it, "Spike," Buffy said. "I'm not hungry."
"Well you're going to eat something," Spike said. He sat down next to her and handed Buffy the tea-cup, "Now what do we need to decide first?"
"How about how we're going to support both Dawn and this child," Buffy said, trying to be practical. She wasn't money crazy like Anya but Buffy knew that it would cost something to raise both Dawn and a baby.
"Well you're not working at that fast food place," Spike said. "Not anymore."
"I have to work somewhere," Buffy pointed out. "And I'm not trained to work anywhere else."
"Well you're not working there. It'll be too exhausting being on your feet all day."
"So what do you suggest I do then?" Buffy asked. "Stay at home and be pregnant?"
"No," Spike said. "But there has to be something you can do that doesn't involve being on your feet all day. Why don't you check out the want ads and in the mean time I'll support you, Dawn and our little nipper."
"How?" Buffy asked. "Last time I checked you can't work anywhere, especially during the day."
"I'll work at that magic shop if I have to," Spike said. "But I thought about it all night and I have a plan."
"Please tell me it's legal," Buffy said. "And it won't get you killed by some demon."
"It's legal," Spike said. "And all I need is the phone and computer. I talked to one of those bloody irritating tell-a-marketing companies. Luv, you are looking at their newest employee. Plus I can work from the home."
"You got a job," Buffy asked, amazed.
"Right," Spike said. "My father might have been a poofter, worse than Angel but one thing he did teach me was that I have to provide for my own and that's you, Dawn and the baby."
Buffy didn't say anything. She was impressed, even though it went against her instincts. Spike was taking steps to be responsible for her child and he was also including her and Dawn. "What about social services? They won't be too impressed that I'm living with the father of my baby."
"We'll tell them that we're getting married," Spike said.
"Over my broken, bleeding body," Buffy snapped.
"Don't ever say that again," Spike snarled, grabbing her arm and causing her to drop her cup. "Don't ever say anything like that again."
"Okay," Buffy said, shaken.
Spike immediately let her go, "Sorry pet but I just saw how you looked when you jumped off that tower….. just one of those things I'd rather forget."
"I understand," Buffy said. She had a long list of things that she wanted to forget. They were silent for a moment and then she spoke up, "About social services, why don't we just tell them we're married? I assume you're getting some kind of fake documents so that you can work. Why don't you get a marriage license while you're at it? We only have to act like we're married in front of the social worker."
"I can live with that," Spike said. He was lying, though. He would do anything to help Buffy keep Dawn and to protect their baby but right now it seemed like he was the one who had to make all the concessions. He knew that being with Buffy meant that it had to be on her terms but he was sick of this. "No, I can't live with this," He told her.
"What are you talking about?" Buffy asked.
"I mean I want a little respect around here," Spike said. "This whole thing exists on your terms and I'm bloody tired of it."
"What are you talking about, your terms? The very fact that I am having this baby should tell you something, plus you're living in this house. I'd say that's a big concession on my part."
"Oh, so having my child is a big sacrifice," Spike snapped.
"Yes," Buffy yelled. "Do you think I want this? I'm not ready to raise a child. I can barely handle Dawn, much less a baby."
"Oh so it's the idea of having a child that scares you," Spike said. "The fact that it's mine has nothing to do with it?"
"It has everything to do with it," Buffy yelled. "A child is supposed to be conceived in love or at least by two humans."
"Well I was human when this child was conceived," Spike yelled. "And I love you. You know that. I couldn't stop loving you if I tried."
"Well I don't love you," Buffy snapped. "But I still have to raise a child with you!" She looked at Spike, tearing coming to her eyes. "Why did it have to be you? Why couldn't I have had this child with Angel? I loved him so much it hurt. He would have wanted this child…"
"You think I don't?" Spike yelled. "You have no idea what this child means to me. And as for Angel, why don't you call him, find out what he thinks about children and while you're at it, ask him about Connor."
"I don't know what you're talking about," Buffy said. "But I wish this was anyone's child but yours, even Riley's. At least with him I wouldn't have had to explain to my child why its father can't go outside during the day and drinks blood for meals."
"Well it's not either one of theirs," Spike told them. "This child is mine so you'd better deal with it."
"I'll deal with it," Buffy snapped. "But I don't have to like it. In fact I hate it. I hate that this child I'm carrying is yours!" Buffy saw the look on his face and realized that she had gone too far.
"I'm sorry to hear that," Spike said calmly. "I'll be in the basement if you need anything." He stormed out of the living room. Buffy heard the basement door slam shut. She knew that she had hurt him, she hadn't meant to but it had happened. She had just pushed away the one person she could always count on, the one person who knew her better than she knew herself and she had hurt him in the worst way possible. She stretched out on the couch and cried.
"How is that possible?" Anya asked. She was the first to recover her voice. "In all my years as a vengeance demon I've never heard of a vampire having a child. Oh it must have been Tara's spell."
"Tara's spell make Spike human just long enough for us to conceive this child," Buffy explained.
"Wow," Xander said. "So um, what now?"
"What do you mean?" Buffy asked.
"I mean, what are you going to do?" Xander asked. "I mean we'll support you in whatever decision you make."
"Yes," Anya agreed. "We'll go with you and hold your hand while you have an abortion performed by an incompetent doctor who won't even wash his hands."
"She's not having an abortion," Spike snarled. Anya's words had brought up some memories of other clinics. He had seen women die because of incompetent doctors and he wasn't letting Buffy be one of them.
"You're not, are you?" Dawn asked horrified. "I mean, you can't."
"No, she's not," Spike assured Dawn.
"She can speak for herself," Buffy snapped. "And no, I'm not getting rid of this baby."
"So instead you're going to have Spike's demon spawn?" Xander asked.
"Hey," Buffy yelled. "Don't you ever talk about my child that way again."
Xander held up his hands in surrender, "Okay, sorry."
"No," Buffy said, running a hand through her hair. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you."
"We understand," Anya said. "Pregnancy hormones are coursing through your body causing nausea, moodiness, frequent urination and other unpleasant symptoms."
"I think we'd better go," Xander said. Buffy was glaring at Anya and Xander didn't want a fight to break out. "We're going to be late for work." They left with Xander saying that he would be back later on in the evening.
"I uh have to go too," Willow said. "I have a class that starts soon."
"Can you take Dawn with you?" Buffy asked.
"Sure," Willow said. "Come on Dawnie."
Dawn started to protest, "But I'm a part of this too."
"Dawn," Spike said. "I promise we'll talk about this when you get home." Dawn nodded and she left with Willow.
"How did you do that?" Buffy asked, amazed.
"Practice," Spike said.
"What's your experience in raising children?" Buffy asked. She couldn't believe that Spike knew anything about children other than how they tasted.
"I've had enough," Spike said shortly.
"Where?" Buffy asked. "Did you and Drucilla turn one or something?"
"No," Spike said. "She wanted me to turn one but I told her no. That's when I gave her Miss Edith. Her dolls were her children."
Buffy sighed. She didn't want to talk about Spike and his days with Drucilla. She knew it shouldn't but for some reason the thought of Spike with someone else bothered her. "Anyway," She said, changing the subject. "We need to make some decisions before Dawn comes home."
"Like what?" Spike asked.
"Well we need to figure out where things stand with us, how we're going to explain your presence to social services, how I'm going to support a child, things like that."
"Fine," Spike said. "Why don't you sit down? I'll clean up in here and make you a cuppa." Buffy eyed him suspiciously but went into the living room and sat down. She had called in sick to work again. She hated to miss another day but she still wasn't feeling like herself yet.
Spike came into the living room carrying a tray that held a cup of tea and a plate with two slices of toast on it, "Spike," Buffy said. "I'm not hungry."
"Well you're going to eat something," Spike said. He sat down next to her and handed Buffy the tea-cup, "Now what do we need to decide first?"
"How about how we're going to support both Dawn and this child," Buffy said, trying to be practical. She wasn't money crazy like Anya but Buffy knew that it would cost something to raise both Dawn and a baby.
"Well you're not working at that fast food place," Spike said. "Not anymore."
"I have to work somewhere," Buffy pointed out. "And I'm not trained to work anywhere else."
"Well you're not working there. It'll be too exhausting being on your feet all day."
"So what do you suggest I do then?" Buffy asked. "Stay at home and be pregnant?"
"No," Spike said. "But there has to be something you can do that doesn't involve being on your feet all day. Why don't you check out the want ads and in the mean time I'll support you, Dawn and our little nipper."
"How?" Buffy asked. "Last time I checked you can't work anywhere, especially during the day."
"I'll work at that magic shop if I have to," Spike said. "But I thought about it all night and I have a plan."
"Please tell me it's legal," Buffy said. "And it won't get you killed by some demon."
"It's legal," Spike said. "And all I need is the phone and computer. I talked to one of those bloody irritating tell-a-marketing companies. Luv, you are looking at their newest employee. Plus I can work from the home."
"You got a job," Buffy asked, amazed.
"Right," Spike said. "My father might have been a poofter, worse than Angel but one thing he did teach me was that I have to provide for my own and that's you, Dawn and the baby."
Buffy didn't say anything. She was impressed, even though it went against her instincts. Spike was taking steps to be responsible for her child and he was also including her and Dawn. "What about social services? They won't be too impressed that I'm living with the father of my baby."
"We'll tell them that we're getting married," Spike said.
"Over my broken, bleeding body," Buffy snapped.
"Don't ever say that again," Spike snarled, grabbing her arm and causing her to drop her cup. "Don't ever say anything like that again."
"Okay," Buffy said, shaken.
Spike immediately let her go, "Sorry pet but I just saw how you looked when you jumped off that tower….. just one of those things I'd rather forget."
"I understand," Buffy said. She had a long list of things that she wanted to forget. They were silent for a moment and then she spoke up, "About social services, why don't we just tell them we're married? I assume you're getting some kind of fake documents so that you can work. Why don't you get a marriage license while you're at it? We only have to act like we're married in front of the social worker."
"I can live with that," Spike said. He was lying, though. He would do anything to help Buffy keep Dawn and to protect their baby but right now it seemed like he was the one who had to make all the concessions. He knew that being with Buffy meant that it had to be on her terms but he was sick of this. "No, I can't live with this," He told her.
"What are you talking about?" Buffy asked.
"I mean I want a little respect around here," Spike said. "This whole thing exists on your terms and I'm bloody tired of it."
"What are you talking about, your terms? The very fact that I am having this baby should tell you something, plus you're living in this house. I'd say that's a big concession on my part."
"Oh, so having my child is a big sacrifice," Spike snapped.
"Yes," Buffy yelled. "Do you think I want this? I'm not ready to raise a child. I can barely handle Dawn, much less a baby."
"Oh so it's the idea of having a child that scares you," Spike said. "The fact that it's mine has nothing to do with it?"
"It has everything to do with it," Buffy yelled. "A child is supposed to be conceived in love or at least by two humans."
"Well I was human when this child was conceived," Spike yelled. "And I love you. You know that. I couldn't stop loving you if I tried."
"Well I don't love you," Buffy snapped. "But I still have to raise a child with you!" She looked at Spike, tearing coming to her eyes. "Why did it have to be you? Why couldn't I have had this child with Angel? I loved him so much it hurt. He would have wanted this child…"
"You think I don't?" Spike yelled. "You have no idea what this child means to me. And as for Angel, why don't you call him, find out what he thinks about children and while you're at it, ask him about Connor."
"I don't know what you're talking about," Buffy said. "But I wish this was anyone's child but yours, even Riley's. At least with him I wouldn't have had to explain to my child why its father can't go outside during the day and drinks blood for meals."
"Well it's not either one of theirs," Spike told them. "This child is mine so you'd better deal with it."
"I'll deal with it," Buffy snapped. "But I don't have to like it. In fact I hate it. I hate that this child I'm carrying is yours!" Buffy saw the look on his face and realized that she had gone too far.
"I'm sorry to hear that," Spike said calmly. "I'll be in the basement if you need anything." He stormed out of the living room. Buffy heard the basement door slam shut. She knew that she had hurt him, she hadn't meant to but it had happened. She had just pushed away the one person she could always count on, the one person who knew her better than she knew herself and she had hurt him in the worst way possible. She stretched out on the couch and cried.