Chapter 25
We arrived at the wall around midday the following morning. Arthur and the others had already returned, but the reports were not good. There were indeed rumors of Saxon invasion, when or where they were not certain. Arthur decided they needed to return to the wall for the rest of the knights before continuing the mission. He hoped they could gain more information from the other posts, so they would be leaving in the morning.
Dagonet came to take a look at my leg. "Taryn how in the heavens did you manage to get shot that way?" He asked looking at the odd entry and exit of my wound.
"Your guess is as good as mine Dag, I was in the saddle, I think maybe I was standing in the stirrups at the time, it happened very fast, and I did not take time to analyze the situation."
"I am sorry to say that there is no way you can leave in the morning with us you are not fit to ride." He explained.
"I thought that also, but hey, you could take a wagon, I could ride in the back." I said teasingly.
"That is out of the question." Tristan said joining us to examine my leg.
"Tristan I was only joking, or do you not know what that is?" I asked.
"What I do know Taryn, is that you were seriously injured, and could have been killed. Why I ever agreed to let you go with them I do not know. It seems like I have had a lot of lack of good judgment since you have been here." He said starring at my leg.
I looked down and realized my leg was uncovered up to the very top. Tristan was my father after all, but he had not been with me throughout the years, so I was not comfortable with nakedness, even if just a bit in front of him. I quickly pulled the blanket over my injured leg. He looked away as if noticing my discomfort for the first time.
"I do know where you have had a lack of good judgment in my case…." I began but was interrupted by Gawain and Galahad coming into my room. "I guess we are just going to party in Taryn's room." I said sarcastically.
"Taryn what are you referring to?" Tristan said ignoring the company in the room.
I wanted to tell him it was my business and mine alone who I wanted to be with, and when I wanted to be with him, and that he did not have to go around and threaten half of the fort. I had proved I could take care of myself. I would have loved to tell him all those things, but now was not the time.
"Only that you worry yourself over me to much Tristan. I can take care of myself. I may not always do things how you like it, but I am used to caring for myself. So please dear father, do not stress any more over my well being, I can assure you I will be fine." I said sweetly, not wanting to start and argument, I through the father thing in to soften the whole statement.
"I have not been a father long Taryn, but worrying must come naturally, I will try to do it less, but I can promise you, I will always be concerned for your well being." He said quietly.
I looked up at him and only nodded, he was right, I could not ask him to not worry for me, it was as if I were asking him not to care, and I did not want that.
"Well I know for a fact she can take care of herself." Galahad interrupted.
I did not expect Galahad to speak up for me, nor did I really want him to, for I could only imagine what he would say. I just prayed it would not involve, dancing, drinking, or a certain Roman.
"I heard from the Romans that were riding with her in the back of the line, that she took down to of the biggest of the rogues, and that was after she had been shot." Galahad said appraisingly.
"Galahad, why was Taryn at the back of the line with the Romans, and not with the knights." Tristan asked not making any mention of my kills. He looked at Galahad and then back to Gawain waiting for an answer. They both looked uncomfortable, especially Gawain. So I jumped in to save my friends.
"Tristan, I had just foolishly chosen that time to go and see how Phillip was, I had no idea we would be under attack." I said hoping this explanation would work.
"You must be more cautious next time Taryn." Tristan scolded.
"I will Tristan." I said being more agreeable than I felt, but I so wanted this whole conversation to end. Thanks to God for dear Dagonet.
"Knights, I believe Taryn has had enough company for one day. She needs rest if that leg is going to heal, and we need to be preparing for our journey." He said standing to go.
"Dagonet, thanks so much for the salve, I will put it on every day. I want to be good as new when you all come home." I said with gratefulness for both the salve and the saving me from more lectures from Tristan.
"Just take care of yourself." He said squeezing my shoulder. "Goodnight Taryn get some rest." He said leaving the room.
The others took the hint. Tristan came and patted me on the arm. "Taryn, I am glad you are all right. I don't mean to be hard on you; I just want you safe and cared for." He said quietly.
"I know." I said reaching up and pulling him to me. "Now I will be the one left here to do all the worrying. You be careful, and return soon."
"I will Taryn, goodnight."
"Goodnight Tristan."
Galahad came and hugged me goodbye. Gawain was last, only he whispered that he would return soon. I smiled and nodded in reply, for Tristan was at the door waiting for the last remaining knight.
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It was a good hour later before Gawain slipped quietly back into my room. I had drifted of into a light sleep, but was awakened by the sweetest, and softest of kisses. Normally it probably would have startled me, but it happened to go along perfectly with the dream I was having.
"I could get used to that." I murmured knowing who it was before I opened my eyes.
"Well I would be happy to ensure that happens." Gawain replied sitting down next to me on the bed.
"Gawain, do you really have to go? Why don't you just convince Arthur someone needs to remain here at the fort?" I begged, for I did not relish the thought of being separated from him so soon after admitting we did have some sort of feelings for each other.
"Taryn you know I can't do that, and besides Tristan would suspect something, it is not like me to shirk my responsibility." He replied. "But it is was a good try." He said with a smile.
"Why don't you just go and talk to Tristan, Gawain tell him about us?" I asked.
"Why don't you?" he asked.
I looked at him for a moment and then started to laugh. "Probably the same reason you don't. The man scares me to death sometimes." I said still laughing.
"Tristan can be a little intense sometimes." Gawain said with a grin. "Well I guess for now this will have to be our secret."
"Yes" I smiled thinking about that statement, having a secret relationship with Gawain could be fun.
"Ours and Phillips." I said
"What?" He said sharply at that statement.
"Ours and Phillips secret, he knows we care for each other." I explained.
"I think I liked it better when it was just our secret." He said gruffly.
"Gawain, don't go and get all mad. You should be grateful to Phillip; he was the one who convinced me I should patch things up with you in the first place." I scolded.
"Really, that is interesting." He replied.
"Yes really, now let's get back to talking about us." I said grabbing his hand.
"It is going to be a hard month not seeing you." Gawain said.
"What, a month!" I shrieked, "You will be gone an entire month!"
"I am sorry Taryn, but that is what Arthur thinks. I don't like it any more than you."
"Gawain what will we do." I whined.
"I guess we will have to make the most of the time we do have." He said leaning over and kissing me softly.
"That sounds like a plan." I whispered into his ear, before softly kissing the bottom of his ear.
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Tristan awoke me the next morning to tell me goodbye. My leg still gave me a great deal of pain when I walked on it, so I did not follow him to the stables to see him off. Gawain and I had said our goodbyes in private the night before.
I decided Gawain was right; I would not talk to Tristan about our feelings for each other yet. No use having him upset with Gawain for the entire next month, and it was not like anything had happened, or like we were getting married. He had not even told me he loved me. I am not even sure he does love me. The only word we had used to describe our relationship was "care". Care could mean anything. I care about all the knights. I care about what I will be eating for dinner. I care about my dog, my horse, I could even go as far as saying I loved Ursula and Black, but that was not yet a word Gawain and I used. Did I love him? I am pretty sure I am very close to that feeling, if not already there.
I have never been good at hiding my emotions. If he looked very closely I am sure he could see right through me, but I would not confess anything to him until he decides how he really feels about me. Maybe the month apart would do us good. We had spent several hours last night talking and kissing, but nothing more.
We would be together in the end, I am sure of it. Maybe Tristan was right also. We should wait to be together until we are safely home on Samarian land. Then we could focus on being a family, and not staying alive in the foreign land.
I would have plenty of time to think during the next month. I guess there is no use planning my whole future in one day. I thought to myself, a smile appearing on my face. Yes this would most assuredly be a long month.
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The first two weeks dragged by. I did not leave my room much. Vanora came daily to bring me meals, and do dressing changes to my leg. At the end of the first week she decided my leg was healed enough to remove the stitches. They were much easier coming out then going in. She said there was no infection, but the scarring was not pretty. Vanora could be blunt at times. I had eyes I could see, but it did not matter. The only man I ever planned on seeing that part of me was the one who had stitched it up in the first place.
Phillip came by and visited also. He convinced me to go to the tavern with him for dinner one night. It would not have been my first choice of destination, but it would be nice to leave the confines of my room for a change.
I was able to walk without any difficulty. There was only a slight pain in my thigh, and back side with the movement. We found a table to ourselves in the tavern, Helena came right over to greet us, and ask how I was doing. She then returned to the kitchen to get our meal.
"Phillip can you believe this is the first place we ever met?" I said looking around the room.
"Yes Taryn, I try to forget about that all the time, please lets not talk about it."
"Do you ever think about her?" I asked suddenly.
"Who?" He replied confused about my question.
"The girl who hurt you so bad that day."
"Of course I think about her, I think of how stupid I was to ever care for her, and then I think of how foolish it is for me to be still thinking about her. I am sure I will forget her in time."
"What about me?" I asked softly. "Will you regret caring for me?" We both knew I was in love with Gawain, there was no denying it.
"Yes, I do regret it, but I guess it is too late now isn't it?" He said with a sad smile.
"Phillip, I am sorry…" I began, only to be interrupted by Lena setting practically throwing our plates in front of us.
"Taryn, do you know when the knights will return?" She snapped at me.
"No Lena I don't know, why are you wondering?" I asked, I could tell she had something she wanted to say.
"Well I need to talk with Gawain as soon as possible." She replied.
"Well in a few weeks I guess you can do that." I said taking a drink out of the cup she had brought me.
"Good, because I am sure he will want to know about the baby as soon as possible." She said.
I nearly choked on the water. "What baby?" I sputtered turning to look at her.
"Why our baby." She said pulling the fabric of her dress around her midsection to reveal a slightly rounded form. "Gawain's and mine." She said as if to clarify her statement.
I felt the color drain from my face, the room was spinning I thought I was going to faint. Phillip's hand on my elbow brought me back to reality. I looked up at her; she had a look of triumph on her face.
"Well I am sure he will be anxious to know." I managed to get out.
"Yes he will be so happy, Gawain loves children you know." She turned around and was gone, leaving me to digest her news.
I looked up at Phillip, but I could form no words. This changes everything. If Gawain had a child on the way he would have responsibilities. I felt disgusted at the thought of them together. She could not be that far along so that means they would have been together not long ago. I felt the anger begin to boil.
"Taryn…." Phillip started but I was not in the mood for a pep talk, or pity or anything else. I pushed my plate away from me, and stormed out of the room, ignoring the slight pain in my leg.
I went to the training area, it was dusky, but there was moonlight streaming through the windows. I grabbed a bow, and began firing at a target, taking satisfaction in the thud of the arrow hitting the target. If I stared hard enough the target began to take on the form of a certain barmaid, and occasionally a certain knight.
When I grew tired of firing the arrows, I pulled out my dagger, and began throwing it at the target. As my frustration grew, my aim got worse, and I was straying from the middle with each throw.
"Is it helping?" I heard a voice from the shadows ask. I turned and saw Phillip watching me.
"No I think if I had a live target, I would feel better, do you mind finding me one?" I said sarcastically.
"You know you don't mean that Taryn." He replied.
"No Phillip really I do mean it, I am sure I would be overjoyed." I said dryly. "Phillip why do things like this happen to me?"
"It's not just you Taryn, it is everyone, it is called life, and you have to deal with it." He said matter of factly.
"I hate them both." I said throwing the dagger again this time not even hitting the target.
"Now you are just being childish." He said.
"How am I supposed to be? I just found out the man I am in love with as a pregnant lover. Do you know how that feels Phillip? So please forgive me if I am being childish. I guess I could go get drunk again, and find some poor person to take advantage of. If only I could be perfect like you!" I nearly shouted at him.
"So now you are mad at me?" He asked quietly.
"Yes I am, if you were a true friend you would let me act as I wish, maybe I will go and drink again!" I said my anger turned full force toward him.
"Have you ever thought she could be lying?" He asked.
"Why would she lie?" I asked shaking my head.
"Look at you Taryn you are a wreck. Lena has always liked Gawain the best, and it is obvious to her that he cares for you. What better way to split you up."
"But Phillip, she is obviously pregnant." I said thinking about his words.
"Yes but not necessarily with his baby. Do you think maybe you should talk to him before getting this upset?" He asked.
I looked at him for a moment, and then went and bent over and picked up my dagger where it was lying in the moonlight. "I have something I need to take care of Phillip; I will see you in the morning."
"Taryn what are you planning on doing?"
"I am not waiting for Gawain to get home for any answers." I replied already on my way out to the streets.
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Lena was not at the tavern when I returned; they said she had already gone home for the night. I knew where she lived, so I made my way to the cottage she and her sister shared.
I knocked on the door. "Who's there?" She called.
"Taryn" I answered. She opened the door a big smile on her face.
"I thought you would be in your room crying in your pillow by now." She said with her sickeningly sweet voice.
"Lena, I think you are lying." I said shortly refusing to let her goad me into loosing my temper.
"Taryn you can see the proof with your own eyes" she said pointing at her belly.
"I can see you are pregnant you fool, but what I can't see is any proof it is Gawain's baby."
"Then you my sweet dear are in denial." She said smiling. Before she knew what was happening I had my dagger out and at her throat.
"You are lying I can tell, admit it now." I said in a deadly whisper.
"All I know is that you're crazy." She said trying to push me away, but I saw the answer I wanted in her eyes.
"Don't worry, Lena, I wouldn't kill a pregnant girl." I said with a wicked laugh I did not know I possessed. "We will learn the truth when Gawain comes home. And if you are lying, just remember you won't be pregnant forever." I warned her pulling the knife from her throat, but still holding it in her line of vision.
She did not answer but only stared at me with a bewildered expression. This was probably something new for Lena. I had scared her speechless, I smiled slowly.
"Goodnight Lena sleep well." I said, and then turned and left.
I smiled the whole way home. Gawain was not that baby's father, she was lying. I had never threatened someone like that before, I would not go through with the threats, but she did not know that. Maybe it was better she thought me a little crazy, maybe she would leave me alone for a change. Gawain would still definitely have some questions to answer when he got home. She had to be lying, I hoped.
Sorry that took so long. I had a horrible time writing that chapter, and I believe the next one will be difficult as well, I guess I am having some sort of block. Sorry if it was no good or you are sick of the drama. I will try to wrap it up soon. So do you all want more conflict with Gawain and Taryn, or do you want me to just make it all happy?
History: Thanks for the review. I am glad you like Phillip. He is the guy that a lot of girls have had at one point in their life. He is a good friend, he wants more, but knows you are in love with your dream guy, so instead of pushing things he sacrifices his feelings to make sure you are happy. A lot of times the girl realizes in the end how great they were and how they missed out, but it is too late by then. That is the angle I am trying to come from with his character.
GlitteryGoil: Thanks so much for the nice review. I am so glad you like my story, for there would be no point in writing it if no one would read and review, so thanks!
Krisy8930: Thanks for the review, sorry to make you wait longer on the Tristan deal, still not sure where I am going with that one.
Irishfire: Yes Phillip is a strange character. We had a good vacation, but the break has not done any good for my already below average writing lol.
Camreyn: Thanks for the compliments on the action scene, I struggle there. I agree the end scene with Gawain was a little strange, not quite what I was aiming at. I am confused myself with what is going to happen, which is not a good thing.
Tracy137: Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, your review is very much appreciated, I have had trouble writing, and you are a good confidence booster.
Katemary77: Thanks hope you like this chapter.
LancelotTristanbaby: Sorry it took so long, hope you like it
Zelinia: In a way she will kind of be with both of them, but not really, does that confuse you more! Lol, sorry. I am debating where to go with the Lena thing, does she get really ticked at Gawain while waiting for him and turn to Phillip, or will she be loyal. Can't decide, sorry. Thanks for the review, let me know what you think.
Lucillaq: Okay, you found my weak point. I don't really think intimate relationships before marriage are right, so I have trouble writing it, so I am skirting the subject. You are probably right, Gawain would have probably just slept with her, but I am trying so show that he thinks of her different than all the other woman in his life, and she is not just another one night stand, or whatever, he wants a real relationship with her. Sorry if I am doing a poor job writing it. Right now Phillip cares more about Taryn's feelings he knows she loves Gawain, so he want's what she wants. I believe there truly are some selfless men out there. Review let me know what you think. Thanks for reading.
Brandy Lebeau: Sorry about your name, I click back from Aol to windows so I spell everyones name by memory, hopefully it is right this time, lol. Hope you liked this chapter!
Babaksmiles: Thanks for the review glad you liked it.
Samli: I appreciate your reviews, it is good to hear feedback to help make you write better, please keep it coming. I need to make more revisions, just haven't had time.
Thank you all so much for reading my story, please review tell me what you think.