Chapter Ten: Resolutions
Spike stared at the window in the basement, wishing that it would hurry up and get dark so that he could go out. He wanted to get his things from his crypt and he also had to get started on a plan he'd concocted to help support his new 'family.'
He angrily paced the basement, wanting to go upstairs but he didn't want to see Buffy and deal with her insults. He knew that she wasn't happy that she carrying his child but he still wished she could show him a little consideration. He'd done everything she wanted. He'd even given her his mother's necklace but still she was making him jump through hoops.
Spike sighed. He understood Buffy a lot better than she thought he did. He knew that she was scared and confused, so was he. He'd helped raise Charles and Charlotte, just like Buffy was parenting Dawn. But neither one of them had ever been responsible for a helpless infant. He knew that it was going to be hard but he was willing to do whatever he could. He loved Buffy, even if she didn't love him and he'd do whatever it took to make things easier for her. The problem was that Buffy knew he'd do whatever she wanted, just for a crumb of affection from her.
"Spike?" said a voice from the stairs. "Are you still down here?"
"Hey, lil bit," Spike said as Dawn came down the stairs. "You home from school already?"
"Yeah," Dawn said, sitting down on a box. "Buffy said that you were down here."
"Yeah," Spike said. "Thought I'd give her some space."
"She's mad at you?" Dawn asked, confused.
"She's just scared," Spike said. "And she's covering it up with a round of kick the Spike."
"She's scared of having a baby?" Dawn said.
"She's worried about the responsibilities, being able to provide, that kind of thing."
"Is there anything we can do to help her?" Dawn asked. Buffy did get on her nerves a lot but Dawn wanted to do something.
"Humor her," Spike said. "Don't take anything she says too personally." He knew he should follow his own advice about what Buffy had said but it had hurt too much.
"What do you know about pregnant women?" Dawn asked. "Especially pregnant Slayers?"
"I've been around," Spike said. He studied Dawn for a second and then said, "I have an idea, though, to make things easier around here. Want to help?"
"Can I?" Dawn said eagerly.
"Sure," Spike said grinning. "But Buffy can't find out about this. If she does then she'll stake me and I don't think you want your niece or nephew growing up with a father." Spike sighed. He had grown up without a father, with only his mother and his bullying Uncle Charles and he was not letting the same thing happen to his child.
"No," Dawn agreed. "So what do I get to do?" Spike sat down next to her and began to explain his plan.
Upstairs Buffy sat on the couch, studying the necklace Spike had given her. It was beautiful. It was a simple sapphire and diamond necklace with the stones alternating. She studied the antique clasp. It was old but it was in mint condition. Spike must have taken very good care of the necklace. She would have to ask him about it. Then she noticed some engraving on the clasp. It was the initials H. C. B. that was another thing she'd have to ask him, what the initials stood for.
"Wow," Willow said, coming into the living room and seeing the necklace. "Where'd you get that?"
"Spike," Buffy said.
"You're kidding," Willow said. "Where did he get it from?"
"He says that it was his mother's," Buffy explained. "He gave it to me as some kind of pledge that he'll never leave as long as I have this necklace and his child."
"What makes you think he'd leave?" Willow asked.
"Look at my track record," Buffy pointed out. "I haven't heard from my father in months, and every relationship I've ever had has ended with him leaving me."
"I don't think Spike's the type to walk out on someone he loves," Willow said. "Especially when there's a child involved."
"But what if his feelings change?" Buffy asked, putting into words the thoughts that had been plaguing her since she'd found out that she was pregnant. "I mean he worshipped Drucilla but then he offered to kill her just to impress me. What if he finds some other girl that he wants to be with and he wants to impress her by killing me and my baby?"
"I don't think that will happen," Willow said. She wasn't too sure but she wanted to reassure Buffy. "He's proven himself while you were gone. He worked along side us all summer and he took care of Dawn all the time."
"I know he's helped some," Buffy admitted. "But how can I raise a child with him? How do I know that he'll make a good father and how do I know that I'll make a good mother?"
"That's a risk everyone has to take," Willow advised. She reached over and put her hand on Buffy's stomach. "I think that this a lucky baby to have you as its mother. Plus I think Spike will make an interesting father plus your baby will have all kinds of aunts and uncle to hang out with."
Buffy smiled weakly, "I'm really going to need you guys to get through this."
"We'll help," Willow offered. "All of us will help, you know that."
"Thanks," Buffy said, she leaned over and hugged Willow. She looked outside and saw that it had gotten dark. "I'd better go out and do a quick patrol."
"No, you're not," Spike said, coming up the basement stairs. "You're not doing any kind of patrolling, not until the baby's born."
"You have no right," Buffy said. "I'll be fine."
"Sure," Spike said, sarcastically. "One well placed kick to the stomach and it'll be all over." He eyed her suspiciously, "Or is that what you want to happen?" Buffy stood up and punched Spike right in the nose, "Ow! Bloody hell," He looked at her and said, "Truth hurts, doesn't it pet?"
"Don't you ever accuse me of wanting to harm this baby ever again," Buffy yelled.
"Why not?" Spike snapped. "Every since you found out that you're pregnant you've been saying that you don't want to be. Well here's an easy way out."
"Spike's right," Dawn said. "Buffy, you could hurt the baby if you get into a fight with a vampire. Why don't you let us to the patrolling, at least until the baby's born. We did it while you were gone. We can do it again."
"I am not going to sit around and be pregnant for the next seven months," Buffy snapped. "What do you think the demons in this town will do once they find out that the Slayer is vulnerable? They'll go crazy."
"Not if we make them think you're fighting with us," Willow said. "There's a spell that Tara can do, an illusion spell that will make it look like you're fighting with us."
"Can she do that?" Spike asked. "Or will it turn out like her resurrection spell?"
"It'll work," Willow said. "It's a simple spell. I'd do it but…"
Spike looked at Buffy, "There, no more excuses. Now you're not patrolling. I'll chain you down in my crypt first."
Spike and Buffy glared at each other in a silent battle of wills, finally Buffy said, "Fine, we'll do the illusion spell and I'll stay home and be pregnant. Satisfied?"
"Not bloody likely," Spike said, looking her up and down.
"You're disgusting," Buffy said.
"That's not what you said last night," Spike said. He looked at Dawn and Willow, "Take care of her. I'll be back later."
"Where are you going?" Buffy asked.
"I need to get my things from my crypt and I'll patrol," Spike said. "I'll be home before dawn." He grabbed his duster and stalked out the door.
"Why am I having a child with him again?" Buffy asked, staring after him.
"You slept with him," Dawn pointed out. "When you sleep with someone you run the risk of getting pregnant."
"Not vampires," Buffy snapped. She stormed past Dawn and Willow and into the kitchen where she grabbed an apple and began to eat, staring angrily out the window. She hated it wen Spike was around but she couldn't bear to be apart from him either.
For the first time since she'd learned she was pregnant she reached down and touched her stomach. Suddenly it occurred to her that there was a baby growing inside her, a part of her and incredibly, Spike had joined together to create another human being. It was impossible but it had still happened. Maybe this child wasn't the freak of nature she'd thought it was but maybe it was something wonderful that would make both her and Spike's life better. She suddenly realized that she wanted this baby, more than anything she wanted this baby. It was a part of her and she loved it. Buffy stared out the window in the direction that Spike had gone, wishing that he would come back. Willow and Dawn had gone upstairs, thinking that she wanted to be by herself but she didn't want to be alone.
Suddenly the door opened, Buffy looked up and saw Spike walk through the door. He had come back. They stared at each other for a moment and then with a cry Buffy through herself into his arms. "I'm sorry," She sobbed. "I'm sorry."
"Shhh," Spike soothed, stroking her hair. "It's all right. Everything's going to be fine." He picked her up in his arms and carried her upstairs where he laid her down.
"I'm sorry," Buffy repeated. "I didn't mean what I said about the baby."
"I know," Spike said, brushing her hair back from her face. "I know, now go to sleep."
Buffy nodded. Spike lay down next to her and pulled her into his arms. She curled up into his arms, resting one hand on her stomach. Spike held her close, his arms reaching around to hold her stomach too and soon they were both asleep.
Spike stared at the window in the basement, wishing that it would hurry up and get dark so that he could go out. He wanted to get his things from his crypt and he also had to get started on a plan he'd concocted to help support his new 'family.'
He angrily paced the basement, wanting to go upstairs but he didn't want to see Buffy and deal with her insults. He knew that she wasn't happy that she carrying his child but he still wished she could show him a little consideration. He'd done everything she wanted. He'd even given her his mother's necklace but still she was making him jump through hoops.
Spike sighed. He understood Buffy a lot better than she thought he did. He knew that she was scared and confused, so was he. He'd helped raise Charles and Charlotte, just like Buffy was parenting Dawn. But neither one of them had ever been responsible for a helpless infant. He knew that it was going to be hard but he was willing to do whatever he could. He loved Buffy, even if she didn't love him and he'd do whatever it took to make things easier for her. The problem was that Buffy knew he'd do whatever she wanted, just for a crumb of affection from her.
"Spike?" said a voice from the stairs. "Are you still down here?"
"Hey, lil bit," Spike said as Dawn came down the stairs. "You home from school already?"
"Yeah," Dawn said, sitting down on a box. "Buffy said that you were down here."
"Yeah," Spike said. "Thought I'd give her some space."
"She's mad at you?" Dawn asked, confused.
"She's just scared," Spike said. "And she's covering it up with a round of kick the Spike."
"She's scared of having a baby?" Dawn said.
"She's worried about the responsibilities, being able to provide, that kind of thing."
"Is there anything we can do to help her?" Dawn asked. Buffy did get on her nerves a lot but Dawn wanted to do something.
"Humor her," Spike said. "Don't take anything she says too personally." He knew he should follow his own advice about what Buffy had said but it had hurt too much.
"What do you know about pregnant women?" Dawn asked. "Especially pregnant Slayers?"
"I've been around," Spike said. He studied Dawn for a second and then said, "I have an idea, though, to make things easier around here. Want to help?"
"Can I?" Dawn said eagerly.
"Sure," Spike said grinning. "But Buffy can't find out about this. If she does then she'll stake me and I don't think you want your niece or nephew growing up with a father." Spike sighed. He had grown up without a father, with only his mother and his bullying Uncle Charles and he was not letting the same thing happen to his child.
"No," Dawn agreed. "So what do I get to do?" Spike sat down next to her and began to explain his plan.
Upstairs Buffy sat on the couch, studying the necklace Spike had given her. It was beautiful. It was a simple sapphire and diamond necklace with the stones alternating. She studied the antique clasp. It was old but it was in mint condition. Spike must have taken very good care of the necklace. She would have to ask him about it. Then she noticed some engraving on the clasp. It was the initials H. C. B. that was another thing she'd have to ask him, what the initials stood for.
"Wow," Willow said, coming into the living room and seeing the necklace. "Where'd you get that?"
"Spike," Buffy said.
"You're kidding," Willow said. "Where did he get it from?"
"He says that it was his mother's," Buffy explained. "He gave it to me as some kind of pledge that he'll never leave as long as I have this necklace and his child."
"What makes you think he'd leave?" Willow asked.
"Look at my track record," Buffy pointed out. "I haven't heard from my father in months, and every relationship I've ever had has ended with him leaving me."
"I don't think Spike's the type to walk out on someone he loves," Willow said. "Especially when there's a child involved."
"But what if his feelings change?" Buffy asked, putting into words the thoughts that had been plaguing her since she'd found out that she was pregnant. "I mean he worshipped Drucilla but then he offered to kill her just to impress me. What if he finds some other girl that he wants to be with and he wants to impress her by killing me and my baby?"
"I don't think that will happen," Willow said. She wasn't too sure but she wanted to reassure Buffy. "He's proven himself while you were gone. He worked along side us all summer and he took care of Dawn all the time."
"I know he's helped some," Buffy admitted. "But how can I raise a child with him? How do I know that he'll make a good father and how do I know that I'll make a good mother?"
"That's a risk everyone has to take," Willow advised. She reached over and put her hand on Buffy's stomach. "I think that this a lucky baby to have you as its mother. Plus I think Spike will make an interesting father plus your baby will have all kinds of aunts and uncle to hang out with."
Buffy smiled weakly, "I'm really going to need you guys to get through this."
"We'll help," Willow offered. "All of us will help, you know that."
"Thanks," Buffy said, she leaned over and hugged Willow. She looked outside and saw that it had gotten dark. "I'd better go out and do a quick patrol."
"No, you're not," Spike said, coming up the basement stairs. "You're not doing any kind of patrolling, not until the baby's born."
"You have no right," Buffy said. "I'll be fine."
"Sure," Spike said, sarcastically. "One well placed kick to the stomach and it'll be all over." He eyed her suspiciously, "Or is that what you want to happen?" Buffy stood up and punched Spike right in the nose, "Ow! Bloody hell," He looked at her and said, "Truth hurts, doesn't it pet?"
"Don't you ever accuse me of wanting to harm this baby ever again," Buffy yelled.
"Why not?" Spike snapped. "Every since you found out that you're pregnant you've been saying that you don't want to be. Well here's an easy way out."
"Spike's right," Dawn said. "Buffy, you could hurt the baby if you get into a fight with a vampire. Why don't you let us to the patrolling, at least until the baby's born. We did it while you were gone. We can do it again."
"I am not going to sit around and be pregnant for the next seven months," Buffy snapped. "What do you think the demons in this town will do once they find out that the Slayer is vulnerable? They'll go crazy."
"Not if we make them think you're fighting with us," Willow said. "There's a spell that Tara can do, an illusion spell that will make it look like you're fighting with us."
"Can she do that?" Spike asked. "Or will it turn out like her resurrection spell?"
"It'll work," Willow said. "It's a simple spell. I'd do it but…"
Spike looked at Buffy, "There, no more excuses. Now you're not patrolling. I'll chain you down in my crypt first."
Spike and Buffy glared at each other in a silent battle of wills, finally Buffy said, "Fine, we'll do the illusion spell and I'll stay home and be pregnant. Satisfied?"
"Not bloody likely," Spike said, looking her up and down.
"You're disgusting," Buffy said.
"That's not what you said last night," Spike said. He looked at Dawn and Willow, "Take care of her. I'll be back later."
"Where are you going?" Buffy asked.
"I need to get my things from my crypt and I'll patrol," Spike said. "I'll be home before dawn." He grabbed his duster and stalked out the door.
"Why am I having a child with him again?" Buffy asked, staring after him.
"You slept with him," Dawn pointed out. "When you sleep with someone you run the risk of getting pregnant."
"Not vampires," Buffy snapped. She stormed past Dawn and Willow and into the kitchen where she grabbed an apple and began to eat, staring angrily out the window. She hated it wen Spike was around but she couldn't bear to be apart from him either.
For the first time since she'd learned she was pregnant she reached down and touched her stomach. Suddenly it occurred to her that there was a baby growing inside her, a part of her and incredibly, Spike had joined together to create another human being. It was impossible but it had still happened. Maybe this child wasn't the freak of nature she'd thought it was but maybe it was something wonderful that would make both her and Spike's life better. She suddenly realized that she wanted this baby, more than anything she wanted this baby. It was a part of her and she loved it. Buffy stared out the window in the direction that Spike had gone, wishing that he would come back. Willow and Dawn had gone upstairs, thinking that she wanted to be by herself but she didn't want to be alone.
Suddenly the door opened, Buffy looked up and saw Spike walk through the door. He had come back. They stared at each other for a moment and then with a cry Buffy through herself into his arms. "I'm sorry," She sobbed. "I'm sorry."
"Shhh," Spike soothed, stroking her hair. "It's all right. Everything's going to be fine." He picked her up in his arms and carried her upstairs where he laid her down.
"I'm sorry," Buffy repeated. "I didn't mean what I said about the baby."
"I know," Spike said, brushing her hair back from her face. "I know, now go to sleep."
Buffy nodded. Spike lay down next to her and pulled her into his arms. She curled up into his arms, resting one hand on her stomach. Spike held her close, his arms reaching around to hold her stomach too and soon they were both asleep.