Approval

Perhaps I'm everything you've ever hated, an annoyance, a dislocated somebody who you'd rather not exist. Perhaps you've just got no one else to shout at.

But I suppose, all I've ever wanted to know is why. Unfortunately, from my eyes you're far too intimidating to be asked. What answer could I possibly receive anyway? How can I sleep, when I know that the person I could always turn to has been drastically and frighteningly replaced by…by you?

The boat rocks from side to side. The sky is grey. I don't want to see it. Althoughit doesn't bother me as much as it used to. I suppose I must have accustomed to the change of everything being grey since you trampled over into the picture and started making your lasting presence known.

Sometimes I hate you. Sometimes I know that I couldn't possibly be capable of that. Either way, the only thing I want from you, I know I will never get.

'Why do you hate me?'

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wolfling: here's hoping you understood who was who. If not, it was Jimmy talking about Englehorn. For some reason, I figured that after losing Hayes, Jimmy might turn to Englehorn for a source of approval. Just an idea.