Chapter Nineteen: Touchy Subjects
"Come on," Spike said, taking Buffy by the arm and pulling her towards the door. "Let's get out of here."
"No," Buffy said. "Giles has a right to know what is going on."
"Fine," Spike said. "Tell him the whole sordid story and you can call our child Baby Big Pile of Dust."
"This baby is going to be a Summers," Buffy said, realizing that she didn't even know Spike's last name.
Before Spike could reply Giles had joined them. Giles wasn't an idiot. He had seen Spike put his arm around Buffy and she hadn't objected. On the contrary she had leaned against him and made no effort to pull away. He also noticed Buffy's white face, how her dress looked a little tight and the way she had reacted to his offer of breakfast this morning. It all seemed to make a horrible sense. He just wanted to hear it from Buffy's own lips.
"Spike," Giles said curtly. Then he changed his tone, "Buffy, we need to talk."
"Anything you want to say to Buffy you can bloody well say in front of me," Spike said.
"Spike," Buffy said. "It'll be okay."
They glared at each other for a minute and then Spike said, "Fine, I have a score to settle anyway." He stalked off and Buffy saw him grab Halfrek's arm and drag her into a side room.
"What's going on with those two?" Giles asked, watching Spike and Hallie.
"I don't know," Buffy said. "Spike just said that they knew each other when they were human but he won't tell me any more."
"Well he certainly seems to dislike her," Giles said. "He was quite rude to her when she came to tell him that you weren't feeling well." He looked at her carefully, "Is there something that you want to tell me?"
Buffy sighed, "Not here." She turned and walked down to one of the empty rooms. Giles followed and closed the door behind them. Buffy sat down on the couch, Giles next to her.
They were silent for a moment and then Giles said, gently, "Buffy, what's going on?"
Buffy sighed, "What do you want me to say, that I'm pregnant with Spike's child? All right, consider it said."
Giles shut his eyes and cleaned his glasses, "I can't believe this. How could something that this happen?"
"Giles," Buffy said slowly. "If you don't know how this happened then we need to have a little talk."
"I'm painfully aware of how your child was conceived," Giles said. "I just don't understand how it could have happened. Spike is a vampire and vampires are incapable of fathering children."
"That's what we thought," Buffy said. "That's why we didn't use any protection," She decided not to tell Giles that protection was usually the last thing on her or Spike's mind. He was probably going to be traumatized enough by the time she was done talking to him.
"So how is it possible…?"
"Tara," Buffy said. "I've known for a long time that Spike can hit me now.."
"What?" Giles said, alarmed. "Has his chip stopped working?"
"No," Buffy assured him. "The chip's still working. Tara said that when I came back my molecular structure was messed up enough to confuse his chip. When she found out that Spike could hit me she decided to try a spell that would make Spike completely harmless."
"How is that possible?" Giles asked.
"She tried to make him human," Buffy explained. "And the spell worked. We've figured that when the spell was cast just long enough for us to conceive this child and we were just too…preoccupied to notice what happened."
Giles shook his head and cleaned his glasses again, "I've only heard of this happening once but it was between two vampires and a prophecy involved. But there's no record of a slayer ever having a child."
"I'm not slaying," Buffy said. "Spike threatened to chain me down in his crypt if I didn't stop slaying until after the baby's born. All my friends are helping patrol and Tara cast an illusion spell to make it look like I'm doing to slaying."
"Sounds like a wise idea," Giles said. "So how do you feel about this pregnancy?"
Buffy put her hand on her stomach, "I don't know. When I first found out that I was pregnant the first thing I wanted to do was to just get rid of it but Spike wouldn't let me."
"And now?" Giles asked.
Buffy sighed, "Sometimes I don't know how I feel about this child, whether it's a good thing or a bad thing but I do know that despite everything I do love and want this child more than anything."
Giles nodded, "And how does Spike fit into all this?"
"I hate him," Buffy said, bluntly. "I hate him but much as I hate to admit it I need him. He and this baby are the only things that make me feel alive. That's part of why I turned to him and kept coming back for more."
"So what happened wasn't quite a one time thing," Giles said.
"No," Buffy admitted. "That's what I wanted it to be, just a one time thing but I just kept coming back. Even now…."
"Is he living with you?"
"Yes," Buffy admitted. "He wants to keep an eye on me." She smiled, "He acts like he really wants all this but deep down I know that it's not real." She suddenly looked at Giles, "He can't love. He doesn't have a soul and none of his feelings are real. Anything he might feel for this child isn't real and one day my baby is going to realize that his or her father is incapable of loving them. How can I expose a child to that kind of pain?"
"I am in no way defending Spike," Giles said. "But from what I've seen Spike is capable of great emotion. He's spent most of his life as a vampire taking care of Drucillia and while you were gone he spent most of his time taking care of Dawn."
"I know," Buffy said. "Willow's said the same thing and I know that Spike knows how to take care of a child but can he love one the way it deserves to be loved?"
"I don't know," Giles said. "I've only heard of one instance where a soulless vampire truly loved someone other than herself."
"Who was that?" Buffy asked.
"Angel's former lover, Darla," Giles explained. "She loved her and Angel's unborn child enough to stake herself so that he could live."
Meanwhile…..
"Alright William," Hallie snapped as Spike dragged her into an empty room and shut the door. "We're alone. Now what is it you want to say?"
"First of all," Spike said. "Don't ever call me that again. My name is Spike now, remember that."
"Fine, Spike," Hallie said with emphases on the name. "What do you want?"
"Get. The. Bloody. Hell. Out. Of. My. Life," Spike said. "Leave town. I don't care where you go, just get out of my life before you completely turn it upside down again."
"I thought you liked what happened last time we crossed paths," Hallie pointed out. "You said that you should thank me."
"Oh believe me," Spike snarled. "I do but I finally have a good thing here and I am not going to let a wrinkled bitch like you mess it up." She reached out and slapped him. Spike grinned at her and said, "Tables have turned, haven't they? Time was I was beneath you, now you're the one who's beneath me."
"What are you babbling about," Hallie snapped. "You were always good at that. I remember the poems you used to write. Do your friends know about that? Do they think that you were called William the Bloody because you had some kind of fierce reputation?" Spike didn't say anything, "They do," She laughed. "They don't know that you were a pathetic little man who wrote poetry that even he didn't like. Oh I can't wait to spread that around the demon world."
Spike grabbed her by the throat and threw her up against the wall, "You say one word and I will hand you over to some old friends of mine. They love experimenting with demons."
"The same group that chipped you?" Hallie asked, shoving him away from her. "What makes you think they'll help you?"
"I have contacts," Spike snapped.
"Who?" She asked. "Your knocked up girlfriend's ex? I hear you two are best friends."
"No," Spike admitted. "But I'm sure he'd be glad to take a pesky vengeance demon off my hands."
"After he stakes you when he finds out that you got his favorite Slayer pregnant," Hallie said. "Or I could just tell her what kind of man you used to be. See what kind of father her child's going to have."
"Stay away from her," Spike warned.
"Oh you don't want her to know who you really were?" Hallie taunted. "William the Bloody poet, lovesick sap who followed me like a little puppy. You don't want her to know that your mother went insane after your father and brother died, that you spent most of your childhood bruised and limping from your uncle's beatings, your 'unnatural' closeness to little Charlotte." She stared at him thoughtfully, "Maybe that's why you killed her husband, because you couldn't bare anyone touching your baby sister but you."
Spike punched her with all his strength. She landed on the floor and before she could recover he grabbed her and threw her back up against the wall, his hands around her neck, squeezing, "Once again you're talking about things you know nothing about," Spike growled, his face vamped out.
He squeezed her neck, knowing that he really couldn't kill her but wishing he could. All he could hear were her insults about his beloved mother and his precious little sister. He didn't even hear the door open or Willow's shouts. He didn't realize what had happened until he was thrown back against the wall by a spell from Tara.
"What happened?" Willow asked, bending down by a gasping Hallie. Willow looked at Spike, accusingly, "What did you do?"
"Ask her," Spike growled, getting to his feet, his face still vamped out.
"We…we had a little disagreement," Hallie said, as Willow helped her to her feet.
"What about?" Tara asked Spike.
"Nothing," Spike growled. He didn't want to have to explain everything to people that he knew wouldn't believe him anyway. "Where's Buffy?"
"She's still talking to Giles," Dawn said, coming into the room to see what was going on.
Spike headed off to find her, stopping only to look at Hallie and said, "You don't know what you're talking about. Just remember this, I would have never hurt Charlotte. I would have died before I would have ever let anyone touch her, including me."
Dawn took Spike's arm, "Spike, calm down."
Spike ignored Dawn and continued, "Stay away from me and stay away from Buffy."
"Truth hurts, doesn't it, William?" Hallie taunted. "Still can't face what you did to your baby sister," She looked at Dawn. "I guess I understand why you're so friendly with Dawn."
Spike lunged at Hallie again only to be held back by Dawn, "Come on, Spike," Dawn said. "Let's go find Buffy."
"Fine," Spike said. He looked back at Hallie and told her, "Stay away from me and if you ever mention Charlotte again then you'll wish that you had never met me." Then he turned and stalked off, followed by Dawn.
"What was that all about?" Willow asked.
Hallie shrugged, "William always was the sensitive type."
"Come on," Spike said, taking Buffy by the arm and pulling her towards the door. "Let's get out of here."
"No," Buffy said. "Giles has a right to know what is going on."
"Fine," Spike said. "Tell him the whole sordid story and you can call our child Baby Big Pile of Dust."
"This baby is going to be a Summers," Buffy said, realizing that she didn't even know Spike's last name.
Before Spike could reply Giles had joined them. Giles wasn't an idiot. He had seen Spike put his arm around Buffy and she hadn't objected. On the contrary she had leaned against him and made no effort to pull away. He also noticed Buffy's white face, how her dress looked a little tight and the way she had reacted to his offer of breakfast this morning. It all seemed to make a horrible sense. He just wanted to hear it from Buffy's own lips.
"Spike," Giles said curtly. Then he changed his tone, "Buffy, we need to talk."
"Anything you want to say to Buffy you can bloody well say in front of me," Spike said.
"Spike," Buffy said. "It'll be okay."
They glared at each other for a minute and then Spike said, "Fine, I have a score to settle anyway." He stalked off and Buffy saw him grab Halfrek's arm and drag her into a side room.
"What's going on with those two?" Giles asked, watching Spike and Hallie.
"I don't know," Buffy said. "Spike just said that they knew each other when they were human but he won't tell me any more."
"Well he certainly seems to dislike her," Giles said. "He was quite rude to her when she came to tell him that you weren't feeling well." He looked at her carefully, "Is there something that you want to tell me?"
Buffy sighed, "Not here." She turned and walked down to one of the empty rooms. Giles followed and closed the door behind them. Buffy sat down on the couch, Giles next to her.
They were silent for a moment and then Giles said, gently, "Buffy, what's going on?"
Buffy sighed, "What do you want me to say, that I'm pregnant with Spike's child? All right, consider it said."
Giles shut his eyes and cleaned his glasses, "I can't believe this. How could something that this happen?"
"Giles," Buffy said slowly. "If you don't know how this happened then we need to have a little talk."
"I'm painfully aware of how your child was conceived," Giles said. "I just don't understand how it could have happened. Spike is a vampire and vampires are incapable of fathering children."
"That's what we thought," Buffy said. "That's why we didn't use any protection," She decided not to tell Giles that protection was usually the last thing on her or Spike's mind. He was probably going to be traumatized enough by the time she was done talking to him.
"So how is it possible…?"
"Tara," Buffy said. "I've known for a long time that Spike can hit me now.."
"What?" Giles said, alarmed. "Has his chip stopped working?"
"No," Buffy assured him. "The chip's still working. Tara said that when I came back my molecular structure was messed up enough to confuse his chip. When she found out that Spike could hit me she decided to try a spell that would make Spike completely harmless."
"How is that possible?" Giles asked.
"She tried to make him human," Buffy explained. "And the spell worked. We've figured that when the spell was cast just long enough for us to conceive this child and we were just too…preoccupied to notice what happened."
Giles shook his head and cleaned his glasses again, "I've only heard of this happening once but it was between two vampires and a prophecy involved. But there's no record of a slayer ever having a child."
"I'm not slaying," Buffy said. "Spike threatened to chain me down in his crypt if I didn't stop slaying until after the baby's born. All my friends are helping patrol and Tara cast an illusion spell to make it look like I'm doing to slaying."
"Sounds like a wise idea," Giles said. "So how do you feel about this pregnancy?"
Buffy put her hand on her stomach, "I don't know. When I first found out that I was pregnant the first thing I wanted to do was to just get rid of it but Spike wouldn't let me."
"And now?" Giles asked.
Buffy sighed, "Sometimes I don't know how I feel about this child, whether it's a good thing or a bad thing but I do know that despite everything I do love and want this child more than anything."
Giles nodded, "And how does Spike fit into all this?"
"I hate him," Buffy said, bluntly. "I hate him but much as I hate to admit it I need him. He and this baby are the only things that make me feel alive. That's part of why I turned to him and kept coming back for more."
"So what happened wasn't quite a one time thing," Giles said.
"No," Buffy admitted. "That's what I wanted it to be, just a one time thing but I just kept coming back. Even now…."
"Is he living with you?"
"Yes," Buffy admitted. "He wants to keep an eye on me." She smiled, "He acts like he really wants all this but deep down I know that it's not real." She suddenly looked at Giles, "He can't love. He doesn't have a soul and none of his feelings are real. Anything he might feel for this child isn't real and one day my baby is going to realize that his or her father is incapable of loving them. How can I expose a child to that kind of pain?"
"I am in no way defending Spike," Giles said. "But from what I've seen Spike is capable of great emotion. He's spent most of his life as a vampire taking care of Drucillia and while you were gone he spent most of his time taking care of Dawn."
"I know," Buffy said. "Willow's said the same thing and I know that Spike knows how to take care of a child but can he love one the way it deserves to be loved?"
"I don't know," Giles said. "I've only heard of one instance where a soulless vampire truly loved someone other than herself."
"Who was that?" Buffy asked.
"Angel's former lover, Darla," Giles explained. "She loved her and Angel's unborn child enough to stake herself so that he could live."
Meanwhile…..
"Alright William," Hallie snapped as Spike dragged her into an empty room and shut the door. "We're alone. Now what is it you want to say?"
"First of all," Spike said. "Don't ever call me that again. My name is Spike now, remember that."
"Fine, Spike," Hallie said with emphases on the name. "What do you want?"
"Get. The. Bloody. Hell. Out. Of. My. Life," Spike said. "Leave town. I don't care where you go, just get out of my life before you completely turn it upside down again."
"I thought you liked what happened last time we crossed paths," Hallie pointed out. "You said that you should thank me."
"Oh believe me," Spike snarled. "I do but I finally have a good thing here and I am not going to let a wrinkled bitch like you mess it up." She reached out and slapped him. Spike grinned at her and said, "Tables have turned, haven't they? Time was I was beneath you, now you're the one who's beneath me."
"What are you babbling about," Hallie snapped. "You were always good at that. I remember the poems you used to write. Do your friends know about that? Do they think that you were called William the Bloody because you had some kind of fierce reputation?" Spike didn't say anything, "They do," She laughed. "They don't know that you were a pathetic little man who wrote poetry that even he didn't like. Oh I can't wait to spread that around the demon world."
Spike grabbed her by the throat and threw her up against the wall, "You say one word and I will hand you over to some old friends of mine. They love experimenting with demons."
"The same group that chipped you?" Hallie asked, shoving him away from her. "What makes you think they'll help you?"
"I have contacts," Spike snapped.
"Who?" She asked. "Your knocked up girlfriend's ex? I hear you two are best friends."
"No," Spike admitted. "But I'm sure he'd be glad to take a pesky vengeance demon off my hands."
"After he stakes you when he finds out that you got his favorite Slayer pregnant," Hallie said. "Or I could just tell her what kind of man you used to be. See what kind of father her child's going to have."
"Stay away from her," Spike warned.
"Oh you don't want her to know who you really were?" Hallie taunted. "William the Bloody poet, lovesick sap who followed me like a little puppy. You don't want her to know that your mother went insane after your father and brother died, that you spent most of your childhood bruised and limping from your uncle's beatings, your 'unnatural' closeness to little Charlotte." She stared at him thoughtfully, "Maybe that's why you killed her husband, because you couldn't bare anyone touching your baby sister but you."
Spike punched her with all his strength. She landed on the floor and before she could recover he grabbed her and threw her back up against the wall, his hands around her neck, squeezing, "Once again you're talking about things you know nothing about," Spike growled, his face vamped out.
He squeezed her neck, knowing that he really couldn't kill her but wishing he could. All he could hear were her insults about his beloved mother and his precious little sister. He didn't even hear the door open or Willow's shouts. He didn't realize what had happened until he was thrown back against the wall by a spell from Tara.
"What happened?" Willow asked, bending down by a gasping Hallie. Willow looked at Spike, accusingly, "What did you do?"
"Ask her," Spike growled, getting to his feet, his face still vamped out.
"We…we had a little disagreement," Hallie said, as Willow helped her to her feet.
"What about?" Tara asked Spike.
"Nothing," Spike growled. He didn't want to have to explain everything to people that he knew wouldn't believe him anyway. "Where's Buffy?"
"She's still talking to Giles," Dawn said, coming into the room to see what was going on.
Spike headed off to find her, stopping only to look at Hallie and said, "You don't know what you're talking about. Just remember this, I would have never hurt Charlotte. I would have died before I would have ever let anyone touch her, including me."
Dawn took Spike's arm, "Spike, calm down."
Spike ignored Dawn and continued, "Stay away from me and stay away from Buffy."
"Truth hurts, doesn't it, William?" Hallie taunted. "Still can't face what you did to your baby sister," She looked at Dawn. "I guess I understand why you're so friendly with Dawn."
Spike lunged at Hallie again only to be held back by Dawn, "Come on, Spike," Dawn said. "Let's go find Buffy."
"Fine," Spike said. He looked back at Hallie and told her, "Stay away from me and if you ever mention Charlotte again then you'll wish that you had never met me." Then he turned and stalked off, followed by Dawn.
"What was that all about?" Willow asked.
Hallie shrugged, "William always was the sensitive type."