Chapter 5

Kitchens and Holidays

"Tickle the pear," murmured George in my ear. I reached up to the pear and my shortness barely let me reach it.

Nevertheless, I tickled it, and the three of us climbed into the kitchen. "Everything you have for breakfast," said Fred to a house elf they seemed quite familiar with. Within five minutes, a multitude of food was laid out before us.

"Expecting us?" I inquired.

"Nah," replied George. "If they were expecting us, the food would be laid out for us when we got here."

We continued to talk until we finished eating, and then thanked the house elves profusely. "For our numero uno lady," joked Fred, as the twins picked me up into a cradle position. I shrieked, and then felt something unnatural spring from my throat. It was one pure, sweet, innocent note of laughter. It was the first time I'd laughed in a long time.

Fred and George became extremely protective of me over the next few weeks, hesitating to leave me even to go to Quidditch practice. "Nothing's gonna happen to me," I laughed, as they left for the last Quidditch practice of the season.

They came back late that night, conversing in low whispers. "What's up?" I asked.

"Should we tell her?" asked Fred gravely.

George nodded.

"George is pregnant," Fred replied matter of factly.

I doubled over in laughter as George threw something at Fred's head. "But anyway," said George. "You're staying with us this summer."

"Get out! The whole summer?" I exclaimed.

"Yep!" answered Fred.

"That's bloody brilliant!" I yelled, jumping into Fred's arms and getting twirled around, then doing the same to George.

"Watch out for Mum, though," warned Fred.

"Yeah. Since you're a pretty girl with a brain, she'll be trying to set you up with Percy, or, if you're lucky, Charlie," agreed George. The summer holidays came quickly, and we were soon on a train back to London.

Turns out I was lucky. Whatever I said could be related to Charlie Weasley. I could see where Charlie might come into a Quidditch-related conversation, but some of the similarities to Charlie that Mrs. Weasley came up with were utterly absurd.

"This meat reminds me of Charlie," said Mrs. Weasley one day at dinner.

"He tastes like it?" asked Fred.

"…or he looks like it?" inquired George.

"You boys are so funny…just like Charlie," mused Mrs. Weasley.

"I think I might need to be excused," I gasped. I ran to my room and dissolved into a puddle of laughter.

The time at the Weasley's was wonderful. There was so much Quidditch playing and great food. Only once did I kick Fred! They had been gone all night and when they came back, I, of course, asked them where they'd been.

"Um…we borrowed Dad's car and flew to get Harry Potter," muttered Fred.

"No frikkin' way! You took a frikkin' flying car without bringing me?" I screeched.

"Fred didn't want you to get hurt," murmured George defensively.

"Oh, how sweet," I said flatly, narrowing my eyes. With that, I promptly kicked Fred in the shin.

"Ohh, no you don't!" growled Fred and tackled me. George flopped onto the bed, laughing maniacally as Fred and I romped around the room for a few minutes.

"I give up," said Fred, and he fell to the ground, with me landing on him. Just then, Mrs. Weasley came into the room.

I can imagine how the scene must've looked to her. Her son's friend on top of her son, chests heaving, hair in disarray, and robes disheveled. "Are you two doing something I should know about?" asked Mrs. Weasley tentatively.

"Mum! If they were doing something like that, would they do it in front of me?" asked George.

"Maybe George should stay near you for the rest of the holidays," said Mrs. Weasley as he closed the door.

We all burst out laughing and didn't talk until George said, "I'm not sure Fred wants you off of him." I then got off of Fred to chuck something at George.

"Maybe I don't want you off of me," growled Fred as he pulled me back on top of him.

George then ran out of the room yelling, "Fred and Paige are in lurve! Fred and Paige…" But before he could finish, Fred and I tackled him. Mrs. Weasley started coming down the hall, saw us, and turned around and walked away.

"I think…that means…that it's time for…dinner," gasped Fred through fits of laughter.

Mrs. Weasley didn't bring up the subject of Charlie, but ickle Ronniekins and Harry brought up a most interesting subject. "Were Fred and Paige protected, Mum?" asked Ron. Simultaneously, my cider shot out my nose into the mashed potatoes, Fred spit his butterbeer into Percy's face, and George speared his fork into the table.

Mrs. Weasley ignored Ron's question, and took George's fork out of the table. "Dear, how do you tell them apart?" she asked me.

"Well, Fred talks too much and is more outgoing and wants to be the center of attention. George is more serious and prefers laughing crazily from the sidelines. But at first glance? They kinda give off a different aura. Like…George slouches and Fred always stands with his legs apart and when George flies his left shoulder is always lower than his right and…lots of little things like that," I trailed off.

"You sure know a lot about the twins," stated Mrs. Weasley, raising an eyebrow.

"Mum…she's just observant and smart," stated Percy, for once not being a total prat.

"Fourth year's going to be boring," I moaned. "The only thing worth mentioning is Dumbledore's making me take up Divination."

"You'll love Trelawney…she's awful," Fred said. "She's an old bat."

"Each year she predicts the death of one of the students," George murmured.

"Ohh, fun," I replied sarcastically.

"But if you 'see' dying in the tea leaves or whatever, she goes psycho. She gets ecstatic!" Fred added.

The rest of dinner passed with Fred and George informing me of the many 'quirks' of Professor Trelawney. Maybe fourth year would be fun. "You'll see lots of squirrels in my dream chart," I replied to a question George had asked. "Squirrels are just awesome."

But I couldn't help wondering, why, just why, Dumbledore wanted me to take up Divination so much. Maybe he just wanted to give me a laugh. But I doubted it.

We all boarded the Hogwarts Express, and I saw Mrs. Weasley waving at us, smiling at me almost resentfully. I don't think she liked that I knew the twins better than she did or that I had that nearly unachievable physical relationship with them. How purple her face would turn if she found out that I'd gasp slept with them.

I laughed and set off to find a compartment. "Where are you going?" asked George.

"To sit with Alicia, Angelina, and Katie," I replied.

"You're coming with us," growled Fred, and George and Fred dragged me to where they were sitting with Lee.

"Nooo…" I yelled dramatically as they threw me into the compartment.

"Now is that any way to treat a lady?" asked Lee.

"She's not a lady," said Fred.

"What am I then? A man?" I asked.

"No…you're a…goddess?" answered George, rather lamely.

Pretty soon, the food trolley came and I bought ten of everything. "You that hungry?" asked Lee.

"No. I know that either a) I would give you guys lots of food or b) you would 'steal' it. Unless I bought way too much, it would be gone in seconds," I explained.

"You think we would steal food?" asked George, swiping some Bertie Bott's.

"As hard as it is to believe, yes," I replied, opening a Chocolate Frog.

The rest of the train rid was goofing off and telling Lee what happened at the Burrow. When we told him about Mrs. Weasley finding me on Fred, I thought Lee would fall out the window from laughing. So much had happened over the summer that the four of us were talking non-stop all the way off the train, to the carriages, and to the castle.

A/N: I thought this funny (I hope) chapter was a nice change after the dark chapter before this. I had tremendous fun with the whole Paige-on-top-of-Fred thing, and I hope I got the character's reactions right!