DICLAIMER: To the best of my knowledge I don't own God or Jesus or the Bible or Hell or Heaven or Satan or any thing like that, if I did I wouldn't be writing this, however there is always the off chance I shall inherit the Bible, but that's highly unlikely. If you are reading this chapter you have probably read the previous chapters and I don't need to tell you not to be offended by my silly little hobby.

Jesus and his family had lived at their house for about a year and a half now. Apart from God occasionally crashing on their couch, nothing interesting had happened yet.

Today was interesting though because he and Maggie were getting married! They already had one child and they lived with Jesus and family. The amount of Jesus' followers had grown dramatically, now up to 1012 and all of the original followers remained. (Even Rick)

The wedding didn't make Jesus nervous as they were kind of pretending to be married for the past year. The wedding was small and everyone was there. God paid for it and set it all up so there was a whole bunch of people there and the party was crazy. God was there and between him, Mary, and Joseph, by the end of the night Jesus had no secrets or private life or anything.

Then Jesus woke up in a strange room full of brooms and mops and cleaning products. He got up off the floor and walked out. It was bright out and there were some men playing cards.

"There's last night's groom!" one of them jeered

"Ya' passed out drunk, you did!" Said another

"We put you in there 'cause you didn't wake up, it was off to the graveyard in the next couple of hours." Said the last man. They proceeded to laugh at Jesus for hours on end.

"Whatever." Jesus said as he left the building to get home (he didn't wait hours, just like twelve seconds.)

When he got there not much was happening. It was about 10 am and everyone was still sleeping. Jesus started a puzzle and soon everyone started to wake up.

Everyone pretty much ignored everyone else and soon everyone had left to go somewhere. That left Jesus home with the baby, her name was Holly. I don't know if you've ever seen a man try to handle a baby for the first time, but they generally have no idea what to do. When Holly started crying Jesus called upon his true father to help.

Dad, He prayed in his head You said to contact you if I had and problems, well, I have a problem. You see the baby, She is broken or something. How does Maggie make the child stop crying?

God materialized in front of Jesus, "Dude, I have no experience with kids, that's probably half the reason you're here."

"So you won't help me?"

"I totally would, but one, I don't know how and two, there's a crazy party up there. Would you like to come? There's some really hot chicks."

"Dad, I'm married now. I can't just go gallivanting off to one of your silly parties anymore, besides, the child is broken."

"Right I forgot you were already taken forever."

"Dad, please just make the child stop."

"What can I do?"

"I don't know, you're the Grandpa!"

"I was your father too, but I didn't take care of you much."

"Don't even try to get me mad just so you have an excuse to leave. You will go and take care of your granddaughter." Jesus said firmly.

"But I don't wanna." God whined.

"Now Dad!"

"Can I go back to the party?"

"Yes, now go take care of her."

God reluctantly went to the child and picked her up. This really only seemed to make it worse. "Jesus, I don't like this!" God said as he handed Holly to Jesus, "Can't you figure it out?"

"You're much older than me, you should know!"

"Only chronologically, but maturity wise I'm just a little bit older than you."

Then the baby stopped crying. "It's a miracle." Jesus proclaimed, taking a deep breath.

"Enjoy your little miracle, Jay, I'm off to the party. You sure you don't want to come?"

"Yes Dad, now leave." Jesus said, "Get out of my house."

"Bossy, bossy." God said as he dematerialized back to Heaven.

Jesus coninued to work on his puzzleall day. He never heard thebaby cry once after that, but that was only because God made it so Jesus couldn't here it. When everyone got home they were so angry with Jesus thatMaggie ran away, and Jesus was kicked out of the house and forced to live in the Clubhouseuntil he could aford a new house (the unfairness of this can be easily seen because the house was paid for withJesus' child support from God)

Jesus never could afford a house of his own, but did enjoy the company of the four or five people that wereconstantly at the Clubhouse. And this kind of sets the stage for a whole new series of problems.

(You get to see the problems in the next chapter!)