DISCLAIMERIf you are reading this I hope that you have read the previous three (right, three?) chapters and I don't need to explain how not to take offense from this story and how I don't own Jesus and stuff and how this is probably not a true story, and if it is the universe is more messed up than I thought.

When we last saw Jesus he was living in his bright red clubhouse, shunned by his family for neglecting his baby, and rather depress because all of this had happened to him.

It had already been about two weeks since he had moved into the clubhouse. The people that were regulars in chapter one are still the regulars in this chapter, except Rick who was currently trying to assinate Jesus, but he wasn't much of an assasin. (Well, he did kill Jesus once, but Jesus came back to life for the last time he would ever be allowed to)

He awoke to Tom's guitar. It's not a terrible way to wake up normally, but in this kind of depression Jesus was really angry and almost beat up Tom.

"Cool it! Jesus Christ, you'd think somewhat just shunned you or something." Tom said jokingly, as henoticed his leader's anger.

"I will, if you stop playing that stupid guitar." Jesus grumbled.

"Fine, always have to have it your way don't we now?"

"Shut up Tom!"

"God's right you do have a temper." Tom said coolly as he opened a window.

"Don't open the window." Jesus whined.

"But it smells bad in here; you've been living in here for two weeks! Go outside and, I don't know, get a hobby or save something or something."

"Why don't you leave Tom!" Jesus yelled.

"Fine, I'll just leave. Not like I was doing anything important like worshipping." Tom mumbled to himself as he took his guitar and left slamming the door behind him.

Jesus went back to sleep. A few hours later he was awoken again by a loud crash of something being dropped and/or broken. It was God, back to visit Jesus.

"Dad, get out of here. I don't want to talk to you." Jesus said moodily trying to go back to sleep.

"Well I need to talk to you. You are leading a full life, that's good; it will make you strong and wise 'cause I won't have a complete imbecile for a son." God said as he dug around his pocket and pulled out a yo-yo and (unsuccessfully) tried to play.

"What do you mean a full life?" yelled someone from outside the window, "He's locked himself in a stupid clubhouse for Heaven's sake!"

"Shut up!" Jesus yelled.

"He's right you know?" God began, "You can't stay in here forever."

"You wanna bet?" Jesus mumbled.

"Yes, but Gabe, as my personal assistant, has forbidden me to gamble anymore."

"A likely story." Jesus said bluntly, "So why are you here?"

"Oh, right, look, I got my tongue pierced!" God stopped playing andstuck out his tongue, which did have a small stud in it.

"Whatever." Jesus said looking away. He and his Father got along sometimes, but they really didn't have much in common. God was a partier and Jesus was very serious and disapproved of many of God's acts of, what is considered, teenage acts of rebellion (and I guess at this point in history, "futuristic methods")

"Don't' you want to hear how they did it? They had me stick out my tongue and-"

"Shut up! No one wants to hear about you getting a little hole poked into your tongue!" Jesus yelled and then he stormed out of the little house and went for a long walk (or so he thought), this was when he got lost. And he was lost for almost six months; he lived off the land and almost died several different times. Until one day Jesus found God (literally) who was lying in the sun sleeping. Jesus kicked God to make him wake up.

"What the Hell's your problem!" God yelled as he sat up for a clear view of the man who kicked him.

"You are and that fact I've been lost for six months!"

"Well I can't help you've been taking a trip."

"I haven't been taking a trip, I was lost for six months!"

"You should have stopped and asked for directions."

"Asked who? I was miles and miles from civilization for six months!"

"Five and a half."

"What?"

"You've only been gone five and a half months, and if you had just walked about twelve and half paces to your left you would have been at your bright red Clubhouse."

"Was anyone even looking for me?"

"Why should anyone look for you? We could see you through the back window"

Oh," Jesus said feeling very, very foolish.

They walked back to the Clubhouse. There were many people there when Jesus entered. It was strip-poker night at the Clubhouse as well as a big group prayer every once in a while.

"Hey Jesus, You in?" asked Viktor who wasn't wearing any footwear at this point in the game.

"No." Jesus answered as he began to climb towards the suspended chair.

"Me, me! Pick me!I want to play!" God said beginning to jump up and down a little.

"Alright!" several people cheered and Jesus fell asleep in the chair.

When Jesus woke up he was glad to see that most of the people had chosen to sleep at home instead of at the Clubhouse. There were a few people there, but that didn't bug Jesus too much. He just left and borrowed an idea from a story he had read and left a trail of bread crumbs from the Clubhouse to a Church (or temple or synagogue, right, Church is a Christian thing? and at the moment the Clubhouse is the only "Church" I guess.) So when he got there the doors were opened because bombs weren't invented yet and so they didn't really need to lock the doors. Jesus sat down (or kneeled I guess) and prayed the way he did before he had met God face to face

Then God materialized in front of Jesus. "How you doin', kid?" Jesus said nothing and continued to pray silently, "You don't need to pray, I'm right here, you could just talk." Jesus continued to ignore this, then God decided to talk to Jesus mentally, "Jesus, when you pray, don't think so loud, I'm right behind you and it's starting to give me a headache how loud I can here you praying. And it's not like I can distract myself with other people's prayers because I stopped listening to them a long time ago, but I can't stop listening to you 'cause I feel guilty about the, what was it? I don't know, twenty-something years I was too stoned to know you very well."

There was a long pause. Then finally Jesus spoke. "Father, I'm just trying to get away with my own private thoughts and hopes and prayers." He spoke very seriously, almost sadly.

"Well if you're trying to get away from me," God said out loud, "Praying to me is never going to help I mean, like, how can you get away from me if your only escape is to talk to me. It's like trying to run away from your own feet, they're still there no matter how long you run. Unless they fall off, in which case you're screwed anyways."

"You know what God!" Jesus yelled, "I'm tired of your joking about, even when I'm sad, you never help you don't do anything!"

"I created the Universe. And I'm, like, infinity years old and I act immature because I'm gunna live like a wicked long time and I got a new hair-do. It's green, just like grass!"

"First of all, infinity isn't a number, it's a concept, secondly, I don't care what you do with your hair, thirdly, just stop being so stupid!" Jesus stalked out of the room.

God thought to himself, This is oddly familiar, but lat time I think Gabe was here, I knew I should have brought him with me.

And so began Jesus' year (or two)as a killer "In the name of God" as Jesus said one time just to try and get his Father in trouble.

(To be continued, I hope)