Last time...

"I'll make you a deal, since you're so curious." 'Severus' offered, as they began walking down the hall. "After you explain to me why you want me parading around like this outside of his office, I want to hear the stories of your greatest pranks. If I find them amusing enough, I'll tell you the biggest secret I have."

"You'd offer me your biggest secret for a laugh?" Minerva marvelled, wondering what Hera was on about.

"It'll certainly save you time in working it out on your own, and the Professor says it's only a matter of time before the other students work it out for themselves." 'Severus' admitted with a shrug, before giving her a mischievous look. "Maybe we can pull a prank on the other teachers before they work it out too. Wouldn't that be something?"

"Severus!" Minerva scolded playfully, lightly tapping his arm. More quietly, she added. "The portraits actually do carry tales to the Headmaster, you know."

"I knew it!"

…

When Minerva and Severus arrived, Filius was intrigued to hear Minerva in the middle of telling quite the involved story of her youth. She looked years younger, less troubled, in a way that didn't often get to be seen. He himself had taken to sitting on Miss Potter's left whenever she sat at the Head Table, but today Severus sat in the spot Miss Potter usually did. Minerva didn't waste any time sitting on his left. Filius, uncertain what was going on, chose to sit on Severus' right this time. It certainly left Dolores in a strop that she couldn't sit by Severus this time either, and Filius wondered how long it would be before the woman gave up on pursuing him.

"Please tell me we're up for a spot of mischief." Filius insisted when he sat down.

"Not you too, Professor." Severus grumbled in defeat, making Filius blink owlishly for a moment, and the man sighed as if realizing he'd made some mistake. "You two have to help me keep this going till Professor Snape gets back. I can't afford to slip up like this around that foul woman."

He felt a tap on his hand, and looked down just long enough to see Miss Potter's ring show up on Severus' left index finger, and now he understood.

"Don't worry, Severus. That Confundus charm will wear off soon." He stated, giving her a knowing and pointed look, a smile on his lips even so. A bit lower, he added. "You'll fill us in later?"

'Severus' ducked his head down, a grin threatening to take over his face.

"You have no idea."

Chapter 102

She's not sure what she's looking at. Nothing's happening…Okay, that wasn't necessarily true. Nothing unusual was happening. 'Snape' is sitting at the Head Table eating breakfast and talking with Professors McGongall and Flitwick. He's a bit more animated than was the norm, but not overly so. For the life of her, she can't figure out what Hera's doing.

"You and Hera ran out like lightning was chasing you earlier." Draco noted, once she sat down next to him. "What happened? Where is she?"

"Umbridge meant to surprise Professor Snape with an impromptu meeting before breakfast." Hermione answered as she gathered her favourite breakfast foods. "Hera's been watching the parchment like a hawk, because she'd missed her chance to help Hagrid. We went to warn him, but he still hasn't come back from talking with our families yet, so Hera…improvised."

Draco froze, and turned to look at the Head Table again.

"She's out of her bloody mind." Draco declared under his breath. "Have any of them noticed?"

"Professors Flitwick and McGonagall most assuredly." Hermione nodded. "The others? If they haven't yet, they will. They've known him for too long now not to pick up on it when she does something he wouldn't. They'll help her keep it together till he gets back, if they figure out she isn't him."

"What do you think his reaction will be?" Draco wondered, unable to help the smile that slowly crept across his face.

She answered him back with an amused grin of her own, as she replied. "I don't know, but I hope I'm there to see it."

…

Hera frowned at the treacle tart that suddenly appeared before her. Those closest to her stared at the food as well in silence, so she knew it hadn't been tampered with using a compulsion charm. The things the twins had sent via Christmas shenanigans had all had low level compulsions on them. She didn't sense any magic about this though, nor did she feel a need to eat it, but…Well, it was her favourite, and it would be a shame to let it go to waste. Still, it was better safe than sorry, and she began casting spells to confirm tampering or lack thereof; thankful that she had glamoured her wand to match his as well.

"There seems to be nothing on it, but perhaps further analysis is required." She said, still using Snape's voice. "Filius? Would you mind?"

Professor Flitwick was casting almost as soon as she'd asked, and Hera wondered just how many times this sort of thing happened to the man she was currently impersonating. There were numerous reasons why he was a paranoid bastard, after all. Maybe this was just one of those. He would most certainly be suspicious about any such food showing up near his person in such a manner. But Hera? Once she'd discovered it wasn't laced or spelled in any way, Hera really wanted to dive into the unexpected treat.

"I believe it may be safe to eat. However, I think you should spell it away for now." Flitwick stated, managing to both give Hera hope and dash it all in the same moment. Lowering his voice, he added. "Severus wouldn't eat it even if it wasn't spelled or poisoned, at least not where any could see him. It would imply favouritism, and ruin his 'paranoid bastard' persona."

"He really does work hard on that." McGonagall murmured fondly.

"Being a paranoid bastard is hard." Hera sighed in disappointment, looking at the food longingly before spelling it away until she could enjoy it later. Thank Merlin for preservation charms.

"There there, we can talk poisons if you like." Flitwick offered.

Hera hid her growing smile behind her tea as she inquired. "Does he have a favourite? I have a few ideas myself."

Her look towards Umbridge left little doubt as to what she meant by that.

"Murder bad." McGonagall replied automatically. Hera snorted, almost inhaling her tea, as the woman's reply had sounded like something she repeated to him often.

"Now, now, who said anything about murder?" Hera asked innocently. "I was thinking a stomach bug, or the hiccups, or maybe even rampaging diarrhoea."

McGonagall, who had been in the middle of a relieved sigh, stopped breathing entirely; most likely to keep control in order to make sure no laughter escaped.

"Besides, I have it on good authority that murder's only bad if you get caught." Hera continued, considering it a success when McGonagall only grinned a little, but amusement was clearly visible in her eyes.

Flitwick quietly giggled, as he helpfully added. "I know a handy spell that makes it so that when one speaks with the kind of foul vernacular I've heard from certain sources, they taste their words."

"You mean…"

"If they talk shit, they taste it too." Flitwick revealed gleefully.

Hera actually takes a second to study the half goblin next to her, before quietly remarking. "I'm going to have to rethink everything I thought I knew about you."

"Not many see through the cheerful charms persona." Flitwick nodded in understanding. "To be fair, I do love what I do…"

"But it doesn't always allow your deviousness to shine through." Hera concluded. "Deviousness in duality. I love it. We shall have to enjoy a chat or two later, you and I."

"I look forward to it." Flitwick agreed.

"How are the students taking what happened?" She asked, turning their conversation to more serious matters. "Most in Slytherin are uneasy. They are worried for their families and what this could mean for them."

"Most are fearful to talk to us about it." Flitwick admitted. "Dolores was rather quick with decree number…what number are we on now?"

"Twenty six." McGonagall answered with barely restrained annoyance.

"She certainly works quickly, that woman." Hera noted thoughtfully. "However, there is a loophole."

This caught their attention.

"The decree mentions teachers. It does not say anything about Heads of House." She pointed out. "So if a student wished to speak with you, you could do so as long as you clarify that you are not acting as their teacher in that moment, but as their Head of House."

"She'll find a way around it." Flitwick warned.

"Yes," Hera agreed easily. "but by then it will be too late."

"Are you sure about this?" Lucius asked him, his voice filled with concern.

There were few things that Lucius ever showed an outward emotion for, Severus knew, and those he cared for were among them. That he cared for Severus enough to show this outward emotion to him showed the depth of trust the man had in him, such was the deep bond of their friendship. Though they kept secrets from each other, they never doubted that. It is from this bond of friendship and trust that Lucius asked him this now, he knew. He'd asked to be escorted to a rarely used part of Malfoy Manor, to a room that housed one of the highly coveted items of the wizarding world, where the two now stood.

"I am." Severus assured him. "Potter alluded to something, asked if it was possible to obliviate oneself. Every article of research I've ever read suggested it isn't advisable, that any who've tried ended with no memories at all, but…If I'm right…If what she alluded to is true…I think I managed it."

He reached into his pockets, and showed Lucius the vial.

"I have no memory of this." He continued. "I know the vial is one of mine, but I didn't know it was in there, didn't even think to look for it till Potter mentioned something. As meticulous as I am, you know how unlikely it would be that I ignored it unless I spelled myself to forget it."

Lucius nodded, eyeing the vial with consideration. "If any of us could have managed it, it would have been you. What do you need?"

"Keep watch over the room till I step out of the memory?" Severus inquired. Lucius was nodding again before he'd even finished asking. "Just…don't look into the Pensieve while it's active."

"Understood." Lucius agreed, turning his back to the Pensieve.

He found himself standing in a room that no longer existed, not whole as it was here. Lily…Realistically, he'd known to be prepared for this, but even so…Severus closed his eyes against the pain, reminding himself that Potter herself told him he needed to stop thinking this way, and tried again. When he opened his eyes this time, he looked towards the crib. The child within had been trying to get their attention, but upon seeing something he could not, began cooing away from them.

"Me! Me!" Baby Hera giggled, reaching up. "Me! Me!"

Her skin shifted blue, her eyes red, and a little circlet of horns around her head. She reached up with grabby little baby fingers as if reaching for someone…That someone appeared kneeling down before her, almost as surprised as Severus was. He watched the scene play out, knowing who the god was now. Potter had mislabelled him as the god of the dead, so Severus wondered if perhaps something had changed between when she met him and this moment.

Little Master…The god of the Underworld, Guide and Account for the Dead, had called a child 'Little Master'. He didn't understand. What did this mean? Who did Hades think she could become? If she succeeds…Trials for one with the title of 'the Dead' tended to involve dying, but…If they succeeded in death, in the trial that no one living could witness, they were rewarded. If Potter could succeed at whatever trial that Hades foresaw for her, she would hold a title greater than the god's own, but for the life of him Severus couldn't fathom what that would be.

When he returned from the memory, Lucius turned to him, pausing when he saw his distress. Severus' hands shook as he returned the memory to the vial, though maybe he should have just returned it to his mind. A part of him couldn't do that yet, however. He needed to decide if this was something Potter should see. She should at least know something of it, but she might also choose to not know, as she had with the Blood Inheritance Test.

"Severus, what's wrong?" Lucius inquired, concerned. "You never shake, and you look like you've seen a ghost."

Severus wasn't sure what to tell him, what he even could tell him, taking the time to choose his response carefully as he looked to his friend. "That's because I did."

"Stop! I insist you wait for me this instant!" Umbridge shouted, having been trying to catch up to them for the last few minutes.

The three had been chatting amicably about a variety of things as they walked the halls on 'patrol', as whenever they stopped in one location such as an office of theirs, Umbridge showed up like a bad habit. It seemed that walking around had exhausted their good luck, however, as Umbridge had finally managed to pin them down. The three of them paused, slowly turning around as the woman almost jogged towards them. The each looked at each other in that 'can you believe this?' sort of way, something they each imagined the woman noticed. It wasn't the first time she'd tried to catch up to them, after all.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but she's worse than Lockhart. I didn't think that was possible." Hera muttered under her breath. "Are you sure murder is bad? I could make it look like an accident. Just a little something in her tea, and no one would ever know."

"Yes, I'm sure." McGonagall replied in kind, before she gave a small grin as she added. "He said much the same thing, you know."

Hera didn't have time to respond, as Umbridge was finally upon them.

"Why did you refuse to stop the many times I have called you before now?!" Umbridge demanded.

"Filius keeps up just fine, and he's shorter than you." Hera countered, unimpressed. "You did not wish to keep up with us, you wished us to pander to you by waiting on you. I am not in the habit of pandering to others, Dolores."

"You're talking of breaking Decree number twenty six! Did you think I wouldn't know? That I wouldn't find out that you were going behind the Ministry's back!" Umbridge demanded, looking like she was gearing up for a self-righteous rant. "I won't stand for it! I-"

"Oh, bugger off, will you?" Hera snorted, eyeing the woman with derision, shocking her into silence. "Your decree, if you want to call it such a thing, mentioned teachers. The three of us have other roles than that of teacher, as well you know. Heads of House have a duty of care to council and guide the students when they come to them with any concern, whether that be career goals or home sickness, homework assignments or worries for their own safety and that of their families. We were just about to go and find Pomona to discuss how we should handle things going forward. As you are not a Head of House, I would suggest you leave. This. To. Us. Is that understood?"

"Really, Dolores, I understand not wanting to cause a panic, but this is just ridiculous." McGonagall scolded lightly. "Let us handle this. We've been caring for the students here for far longer than you've been working at the Ministry."

They left the woman fuming alone in the hallway.

"That's going to bite us in arse later, isn't it?" Hera sighed, as they continued walking.

"Most likely, but if you hadn't said something, one of us would have, and it would have been worse." Flitwick assured her, before looking up at her with a grin that seemed to match Jareth's own far too well. "So…what did you hit her with?"

"I'm completely shocked you would suspect me of such a thing." Hera sniffed. It lasted for all of a second before she was grinning as well. "I may have been inspired by that tripping jinx we were talking about earlier. She'll stub her toe on every corner she comes into close proximity with, which will pair nicely with the elves attempts at destabilizing her. They've been subtly rearranging her furniture just enough that she won't notice, but also enough for her to stumble into things occasionally."

"Something innocent and completely explainable." Flitwick noted with approval.

"And you?" Hera inquired, curious.

"Mine was a rendition of the one I mentioned at breakfast." Flitwick admitted gleefully. "She'll not notice it at first, a foul odour here and there every time she gives some derogatory remark, and will progress until she's gagging from the taste of excrement in her mouth."

McGonagall was suspiciously silent.

"Well?" Hera nudged, poking the woman's side playfully. "Out with it, Woman. I don't believe for a second you didn't do anything."

"I second my colleague here." Flitwick insisted, eyeing McGonagall now. "You definitely did something. That innocent face of yours is too good, practically Slytherin."

"Filius!" McGonagall exclaimed in shock, snickering when she was unable to maintain her innocent air any longer. When she calmed down, she explained. "Her office is filled with these awful decorative plates with kittens on them, you know."

They both nodded in understanding, but neither understood how that translated into a prank for the Umbitch.

"There are a lot of cats here at Hogwarts." McGonagall commented. Hera's mind started calculating the number, still not grasping it yet. "That's a lot of hairballs to find in ones personal belongings."

Hera stopped dead in her tracks as it hit her, and then she was breathlessly laughing so hard she has to hold onto the wall to keep from falling into the floor; even then, it's a near thing.

"That's brilliant!"

She'd sensed mischief afoot as soon as she saw the three of them approaching her, and had agreed to go on a walk with them. Minerva had shared story after story of her youth, each one making Severus laugh. One look and a nod shared with Filius, and the two had joined in with stories of pranks they'd either done or witnessed students do. She wasn't sure if this was Minerva's way of trying to cheer the younger professor up, but things had been rather difficult for him the last few years, and she wanted to be there for him. They ended up in her sitting room, laughing as the three of them shared their stories with Severus.

"Alright, so all four of us are together, what now?" Pomona inquired, once the laughter had died down once more.

"As Heads of House, your Occlumency is rock solid, yes?" Severus asked, looking to them all. Pomona was surprised, but nodded. "Good."

She was not expecting Severus to frost over as he shrank and shifted into Hera Potter.

"Miss Potter?" She asked, just to make sure. The girl nodded with a slight smile.

"I promised this to Professor McGonagall, but you've all been trying to make me laugh even though only one of you knew what it was for. I think…I think the deal should apply to you both as well." Hera informed them, turning to Minerva. "What do you think, Professor?"

"I thought I agreed you could call me Minny?" Minerva replied with fond amusement, and something like pride in her eyes.

"Well, yeah, but they didn't know that." Hera protested. "You're okay with it? I didn't offer it to them first, and they didn't know why you were trying to make Professor Snape laugh. I mean, Professor Snape knows, but he's known since Fourth Year."

"A lot of things are starting to make sense now." Pomona admitted, getting over her shock quickly. Being down to earth was good for that.

"I offered Minny the biggest secret I have if she could make me laugh, because Professor Snape said it was only a matter of time before the students worked it out. I thought it would be a good idea for the Heads of House to know before they did." Hera explained. "It's a long story, and you can't ask any questions till the end, but I promise it'll be worth it, and then?…Well, then we can plan how best to roast that awful Pink Menace. What do you say, Professor? Interested?"