Chapter Thirty Eight: Dreaming, Scheming and Screaming

"Well," Spike snapped. "What is that noise? You got some kind of clock or something?"

Buffy didn't say anything. She couldn't tell him the noise he heard wasn't a clock but the sound of their baby's heartbeat. He wasn't ready to hear that they were expecting a child. Buffy knew that Spike was on edge as it was. The news about the baby might send him right over. "It's nothing," She said. "It's probably something outside."

"No," Spike said. "My memory might not be so good but my hearings fine and that sound is coming from this room. Now what is it?"

"I don't know," Buffy lied. "I don't have vampire hearing. I don't hear anything."

"Well you must have some idea," Spike said sarcastically. "So what is it?" Both he and Buffy were silent and in the silence all Spike could hear was the strange thumping noise. The sound brought him back to the sixties when Drusilla used to drag him to abortion clinics so she could make meals out of the women waiting for abortions. Some of the women had been pretty far along and he could hear the heartbeats of the unborn children. Drusilla could too and she had enjoyed the sound. In fact those where the women she usually picked first as a meal.

He listened to the mysterious noise for a little while longer, trying to figure out where it was coming from. Finally he said, "What is going on, Slayer. I want to know the whole sodding truth, no matter how ugly it is."

"Later," Buffy said. "I've told you enough for now. It's morning so why don't you get some sleep and I'll talk to you in the evening." She tried to leave again but Spike's voice stopped her.

"No," He said harshly. "I want to know right now and you're going to tell me."

Buffy looked at him and said, slowly and clearly, "Spike, I spent all last night chasing you all over Sunnydale. I was chained up, threatened by your insane ex, then I had to help drag you home and chain you back up again, after which I had to play, "This Is Your Life' because you had to play the hero and lose your memory. Now I am very, very tired so I'm going to go and get some sleep. Because if I don't I will be very, very cranky and that will result in life becoming very, very unpleasant for you. Got it?"

"Got it," Spike said, looking amused. "I be a good little vampire and you don't get rough with me, right?" Buffy glared at him as Spike continued to look amused. Then his amused look changed to one of confusion. "What did you say? About me being a hero? I don't do the hero thing, bad for my image. "

"Your image was trashed a long time ago," Buffy said, cursing her slip. Her fatigue was starting to really get to her and she was saying things she didn't mean to say.

"What are you talking about?" Spike asked, worried about what she meant. Had he gone soft or even worse someone had found out what he was like before he was vamped.

"Nothing," Buffy said. "Nothing that can't wait."

"Patience has never been my strong point," Spike said. "So stop stalling and talk."

"No," Buffy snapped. "This is nothing that can't wait."

"It can't wait," Spike said. He had to know what was happening, what he had forgotten and most of all what was the noise he kept hearing. It was steady and he couldn't figure out what could be causing it. He met Buffy's eyes, waiting for her answers. She stared back, keeping his steady gaze.

Spike and Buffy continued to glare at each other, neither one of them wanting to look away. Then suddenly Buffy felt something. It was so slight that she almost missed it but then she felt it. It was the baby. She was feeling the baby move. It was slight, almost unnoticeable. It was what her pregnancy books called 'quickening'. She looked at Spike for a moment. Then she burst into tears and ran from the room.

Buffy ran down the hall to her mother's old room. Fortunately Angel and Cordelia, who were using this room right now, were downstairs. Buffy threw herself onto her bed and sobbed. She just lay there and cried, cried for her mother who couldn't be there to help her through this pregnancy, for Spike who couldn't share this moment with her, for everything that she had ever lost she cried for. She cried just for the sake of crying, until she was gasping for breath.

She was still sobbing when she felt a pair of cool arms go around her and hold her. For a wild moment she thought that Spike had somehow regained his memory and had come to her. Then she looked up and saw that it was Angel's arms that were around her. "Are you okay?" He asked, a look of concern on his face.

Buffy looked at him for a second, confused, and then she asked, "What are you doing here?"

"Connor wanted his blanket," Angel said, gesturing to the travel crib. "And I heard you crying. What's wrong?"

Buffy let out a shuddering cry, "Spike."

"What did he do to you?" Angel said, standing up and vamping out. "I'll kill him."

"No," Buffy said, tiredly. "He didn't hurt me. It's just.."

"Just what?" Angel asked. "What did he do?" Buffy didn't answer. She just looked away. Angel sat back down on the bed, his features going back to normal. His tone softened, "Buffy, why are you doing this to yourself? Why are you putting you and your child through this?"

"What do you mean?" Buffy asked.

"Look, you're not happy," Angel said. "Anyone can see that. Why are you doing something that makes you so unhappy? Why are you subjecting you and your child to this?"

"If I'm unhappy it's because Spike, the father of my child, has forgotten the past five years. I just had to fill him in on some of the things he's been doing and it was a little hard, okay?"

"Buffy, I just think that you should consider.."

"What? Throwing him out? Forget it," Buffy snapped. "I won't do that to him." She looked at Angel. "He was tortured by a hell-god for me and Dawn. He almost died rather than give us up. I told him that I wouldn't forget that and I'm not going to now. I'm not throwing him out so stop saying I should."

"I just think."

"Well don't," Buffy ordered. "What are you doing here anyway? I brought you here to help Spike, not stick around and tell me how to run my life, okay. I don't tell you how to live your life, don't tell me how to live mine."

"Buffy.." Angel said.

"Just leave me alone," Buffy told him, starting to cry again. She lay back down, tears running down her face.

"Angel, Connor's blanket was downstairs," Cordelia said, coming into the bedroom. She saw Buffy crying. Cordelia glared at Angel, pulled Buffy into her arms and said, accusingly, "What did you do to her?"

"Nothing," Angel protested. "I'm just trying to help."

"You're doing a great job," Cordelia said. She turned her attention to Buffy, "Is there anything I can get you? Anything you want?"

Buffy pushed Cordelia away, "Just leave me alone, okay. All of you, can you give me some space?"

"Sure," Angel said. "We just."

"Want to help, I know," Buffy cried. "Well if you really want to help here what you can do. You can find Drusilla and those geeks and stop them before they can do anymore damage. Maybe you can help Spike get his memory back. That's something that can help."

Angel tried to speak but Cordelia grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the room, leaving Buffy to lay back down on the bed and sob until she fell asleep.

Cordelia didn't say anything until she and Angel were back downstairs. Then she turned on him, speaking softly so she wouldn't wake Connor who was napping on a blanket laid on the floor, "What happened up there?'

"Nothing," Angel said. "I was just trying to help her."

"Well you sure were doing a good job," Cordelia said sarcastically. "Now she's more upset than ever." She sighed, "Look, Buffy doesn't want our help right now."

"But she needs it," Angel protested. "You saw her."

"Yeah I did," Cordelia said. "And part of that is just a combination of being tired and hormones. The best thing we can do is just let her rest and figure out a way to stop Drusilla and those guys."

"I can handle Dru," Angel said. "It's those guys I'm wondering about. They want something but what?'

"They were guys I went to school with," Cordelia said, thoughtfully. She looked at Angel, grinned and said, "I feel a class reunion coming up."

"No," Angel said. "You're not thinking."

"Why not," Cordelia said. "I might be able to find something out from them. They don't know I work with you. They might want to do a little bragging."

"They're working with Drusilla," Angel pointed out. "She might see you and warn them."

"So you'll be in the background," Cordelia said. "If you see her then you can grab her. You might be able to find out something from her that can help Spike."

"I don't think this is a good idea," Angel said.

"Look, you stayed because you wanted to help Buffy. Well here's a way to help her. We can try to eliminate the threat to her and her baby plus we can get Spike's memory back."

"It's too dangerous," Angel said.

"Maybe you didn't understand me," Cordelia said. "I'm doing this with or without you so you can help me or not but either way it's going to happen."

Angel sighed, "Fine, Buffy said that there are three guys plus the girlfriend of one of them. Who are you going to get in touch with?"

"Jonathan," Cordelia said, promptly. "Warren's dating that midwife, Sarah, plus I heard a rumor about him building robot girlfriends and that's too creepy for me. And I don't think I ever met Andrew so Jonathan is the logical choice. Anyway I think he had a crush on me in high school."

Angel rolled his eyes. "Just call him and let's get this over with." He headed for the door. The sun was still low enough for him to get around, "I'm going to see if Dru's still tied up and if she still is then she's going to give me some answers."

"Fine," Cordelia said. "I'll track down Jonathan and set up a date for tonight."

"Think public places," Angel warned.

"No, I was thinking we'd go over to his place and hang out with his other crazy friends," Cordelia said sarcastically.

"Cordelia," Angel warned.

"We'll go to the Bronze," She promised. "Now go find Drusilla." She headed over to the phone while Angel headed out the door.