Title: Duties
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Cross-dressing.
Summary: Elliot sometimes hates his job.
Pairing: Implied Mike Logan/Elliot Stabler
A/N: Kelly! This is all your fault:P

There were times in his life where Elliot really, totally, completely, absolutely hated his job. Surprisingly, these were not the times when children were involved. Yes, those cases were always horrific and he hated them, but when they finally caught the bastard, arrested him, and got him behind bars, Elliot was always gratified. He felt like he was making a difference.

However, at the moment, he really wished he'd just gone into construction or sword-swallowing or something else that was safe like that and would not lead to situations like the one he was currently in.

He was wearing a skirt. A pink skirt, no less. And make up. And heels, and a blouse, and would someone just shoot him already and put him out of his misery?

It just figured that their next perp would frequent a gay bar infamous for its drag queens. No, it wasn't exclusively for cross-dressers, but dressing like one made you fit in a lot more easily. And as Elliot needed to fit in so they could keep out an eye for their guy, he had to dress the part.

He also had to act it.

Elliot really hated his life, sometimes.

"Now remember," Olivia had said, and she was so obviously struggling to keep a straight face, "you're not just gay. You're flaming. Try not to act so rigid. Make sure you act like you're used to this." And at that, with one final look at him, she broke into laughter. Elliot glared at her and she sobered up some, but still had an unrepentant grin on her face. "And, Elliot, or should I say Elaine?" Another glare, another fit of chuckles. "Don't forget to stay pretty!"

And that was how he ended up in the middle of a bar called, of all things, 'Queerville,' acting as gay as, if not gayer than one Richard Simmons. He really thought he should get a promotion for this, or something. Or maybe an Oscar. "Because, I mean, really, whoever thought of pink and green together were clearly on some type of heavy drug." He smiled coquettishly at the man sitting at the bar next to him, and tried not to think of what he'd do to this perp once they caught him.

Because if Mike ever heard about this, he'd never live it down.

-End