Chapter Forty-Three: Longing To Tell You But Afraid And Shy
"I can't believe we just did that," Buff said, rolling over on her side.
"What?" Spike said, curling up beside her and pulling her into his arms. "I thought you'd like to try something new." He kissed her temple, and whispered in her ear, "I know I liked it."
Buffy blushed, not looking at him. She hated to admit it but she had liked it too. She started to sit up but Spike pulled her back down on the bed, "What's your hurry?"
"W need to get back," Buffy said. "Everyone's probably wondering where I am."
"Let them wonder," Spike said, kissing down Buffy's neck. "You need to relax, take your mind off of your worries."
"Stop that," Buffy said, trying to resist. "We need to get back before they send a search party."
"Dawn will tell them that you're with me," Spike told her. "And if they don't like it.." He made a dismissive gesture, indicating what her friends could do.
"Spike, we have to get back," Buffy said. "Remember, Jonathan in the basement, Warren, Andrew and Drusilla still out there. Hellmouth opening, world in danger any of that ring a bell? Or did everything that happened to you cause more damage than we though?"
Spike rolled his eyes, "I'm fine but you," He leaned over and kissed her, "Need to relax. A little down time isn't going to hurt anything."
"Spike, there are people who are waiting for me. I have to get back."
"You mean Angel," Spike said. Buffy didn't say anything. She just looked away, "Don't worry about Peaches," Spike told her. "I think he's got enough to distract him right now."
"You mean Connor?" Buffy said.
"No," Spike said. "I mean the cheerleader."
"Huh?" Buffy asked.
"The brunette," Spike explained. "You didn't notice the looks those two were giving each other? Even I noticed and I didn't know where I was half the time."
"Angel and Cordelia?" Buffy said, in disbelief, "How much of that poison did Dru give you?"
"Deny it all you want," Spike said. "Just look at those two and you'll see what I mean."
"Fine," Buffy said. "We'll go back and I can prove you wrong."
"We're not going anywhere," Spike said. He looked at her curiously, "What's going on? Why are you so desperate to get back?"
"Because," Buffy said, getting out of bed and pulling her clothes on. "There's so much going on that I need to get back."
"No," Spike said, sitting up. "That's not why. It's because Angel's back at the house, isn't it." Buffy didn't answer. She just looked away. Spike made an irritated sound, "He's knows what's going on between us. He'd have to be blind not to."
"Well I'm not going to rub it in his face," Buffy snapped.
"Why not?" Spike said. "He always did that to others."
"I'm not going to do that to him," Buffy said, not looking at him as she got dressed.
Spike studied her, awareness hitting him, "You're still ashamed, aren't you." Buffy didn't answer. "I don't believe this," He said angrily. "After all this, you still can't accept what we have."
"We have nothing," Buffy snapped. "We have a baby, that's it."
"Then why did you save my unlife?" Spike asked. "And bring my memory back?"
"Because I didn't want our baby growing up without a father and I wasn't going to take you away from Dawn. They both need you. I don't," Buffy lied. She was not going to tell Spike exactly what he meant to her and how happy and relieved she was that he was going to be alright.
Spike hid his hurt and said, "Yes, you do, probably more than you realize. Otherwise you would have let me burn to death."
"I told you," Buffy said, keeping her back to him so that he wouldn't see the tears in her eyes "I kept you alive for Dawn and our baby. I don't want our baby growing up without a father. It didn't anything to do with what's going on between us."
"Fine," Spike said, standing up on pulling on his pants. "If that's what you say."
He was angry. Buffy knew that but she couldn't quite bring her self to tell him what he meant to her and all that she had realized while he had been out of it. She watched him pull on his shirt and start to climb the ladder to the upper levels of the crypt. "Where are you going?" She called.
Spike looked at her, "I'm taking you home, since you want to go so badly." Then he climbed the rest of the way out of the crypt.
Buffy stared after him for minute, stunned. Then she finished getting dressed and climbed awkwardly up the ladder, momentarily thinking that she wasn't going to be able to climb the ladder again until after the baby was born. She climbed up to the upper level of the crypt where Spike was waiting.
They walked back to the house in silence. When they walked the house was dark and silent. It was late and everyone had gone either to bed or to their own homes. Buffy didn't say anything. She just walked up the stairs, without looking at him. Spike started to follow her but then changed direction and head into the kitchen. He opened the door to the fridge and pulled out a bag of blood. He heated it and poured it into a mug.
He was looking out the window while he drank his blood. Then he heard a sound he hadn't noticed before. He turned in the direction of it and saw what had made the sound. On the counter was some of carrier and in it was a baby. A baby that looked so much like his sires that it had to be Connor.
Spike saw the baby studying him. The baby looked at him for minute and then look out a cry. Spike just stared at the baby, unsure of what to do. He looked around and saw that Angel was no where in sight. He tried to remember everything from when Charles and Charlotte where babies. His vampire sense of smell told him that the baby didn't need changing and Spike had no idea how to feed him. The only other thing he could think was that Connor was just bored. So Spike unstrapped him and picked him up.
Picking him up had no effect, the baby continued to cry. "Come on," Spike said, bouncing the baby. "Be quiet." He let out a cry of exasperation, "Bloody hell, shut up. Are you going to be as annoying as both your parents?" Connor's cries didn't let up, "Okay," Spike said, trying to think of ways he'd helped quiet his brother and sister. "You want to hear a song, that always worked with the twins." He shifted the baby in his arms and began to sing, "I want to be sedated." It didn't help. If anything Connor's cries increased, "Fine," Spike said. "Remind me to have a little talk with your father about the kind of music he's exposing you to. That vampire has no taste. Don't want that rubbing off on you." He bounced the baby, trying to calm him. "Listen here you," Spike said. "This is the only way I know to shut you up so if this doesn't work then you're on your own." He cradled Connor in his arms and began to hum an English lullaby that he remembered from his own childhood and that she had sung to Charles and Charlotte too. It had always worked to calm them and it was having the same effect on Connor. "Well what do you know," Spike said. "It worked." He continued to rock the baby. Connor wasn't falling asleep but he was calming down.
Suddenly a voice from the kitchen doorways said, "Get the hell away from my son."
"I can't believe we just did that," Buff said, rolling over on her side.
"What?" Spike said, curling up beside her and pulling her into his arms. "I thought you'd like to try something new." He kissed her temple, and whispered in her ear, "I know I liked it."
Buffy blushed, not looking at him. She hated to admit it but she had liked it too. She started to sit up but Spike pulled her back down on the bed, "What's your hurry?"
"W need to get back," Buffy said. "Everyone's probably wondering where I am."
"Let them wonder," Spike said, kissing down Buffy's neck. "You need to relax, take your mind off of your worries."
"Stop that," Buffy said, trying to resist. "We need to get back before they send a search party."
"Dawn will tell them that you're with me," Spike told her. "And if they don't like it.." He made a dismissive gesture, indicating what her friends could do.
"Spike, we have to get back," Buffy said. "Remember, Jonathan in the basement, Warren, Andrew and Drusilla still out there. Hellmouth opening, world in danger any of that ring a bell? Or did everything that happened to you cause more damage than we though?"
Spike rolled his eyes, "I'm fine but you," He leaned over and kissed her, "Need to relax. A little down time isn't going to hurt anything."
"Spike, there are people who are waiting for me. I have to get back."
"You mean Angel," Spike said. Buffy didn't say anything. She just looked away, "Don't worry about Peaches," Spike told her. "I think he's got enough to distract him right now."
"You mean Connor?" Buffy said.
"No," Spike said. "I mean the cheerleader."
"Huh?" Buffy asked.
"The brunette," Spike explained. "You didn't notice the looks those two were giving each other? Even I noticed and I didn't know where I was half the time."
"Angel and Cordelia?" Buffy said, in disbelief, "How much of that poison did Dru give you?"
"Deny it all you want," Spike said. "Just look at those two and you'll see what I mean."
"Fine," Buffy said. "We'll go back and I can prove you wrong."
"We're not going anywhere," Spike said. He looked at her curiously, "What's going on? Why are you so desperate to get back?"
"Because," Buffy said, getting out of bed and pulling her clothes on. "There's so much going on that I need to get back."
"No," Spike said, sitting up. "That's not why. It's because Angel's back at the house, isn't it." Buffy didn't answer. She just looked away. Spike made an irritated sound, "He's knows what's going on between us. He'd have to be blind not to."
"Well I'm not going to rub it in his face," Buffy snapped.
"Why not?" Spike said. "He always did that to others."
"I'm not going to do that to him," Buffy said, not looking at him as she got dressed.
Spike studied her, awareness hitting him, "You're still ashamed, aren't you." Buffy didn't answer. "I don't believe this," He said angrily. "After all this, you still can't accept what we have."
"We have nothing," Buffy snapped. "We have a baby, that's it."
"Then why did you save my unlife?" Spike asked. "And bring my memory back?"
"Because I didn't want our baby growing up without a father and I wasn't going to take you away from Dawn. They both need you. I don't," Buffy lied. She was not going to tell Spike exactly what he meant to her and how happy and relieved she was that he was going to be alright.
Spike hid his hurt and said, "Yes, you do, probably more than you realize. Otherwise you would have let me burn to death."
"I told you," Buffy said, keeping her back to him so that he wouldn't see the tears in her eyes "I kept you alive for Dawn and our baby. I don't want our baby growing up without a father. It didn't anything to do with what's going on between us."
"Fine," Spike said, standing up on pulling on his pants. "If that's what you say."
He was angry. Buffy knew that but she couldn't quite bring her self to tell him what he meant to her and all that she had realized while he had been out of it. She watched him pull on his shirt and start to climb the ladder to the upper levels of the crypt. "Where are you going?" She called.
Spike looked at her, "I'm taking you home, since you want to go so badly." Then he climbed the rest of the way out of the crypt.
Buffy stared after him for minute, stunned. Then she finished getting dressed and climbed awkwardly up the ladder, momentarily thinking that she wasn't going to be able to climb the ladder again until after the baby was born. She climbed up to the upper level of the crypt where Spike was waiting.
They walked back to the house in silence. When they walked the house was dark and silent. It was late and everyone had gone either to bed or to their own homes. Buffy didn't say anything. She just walked up the stairs, without looking at him. Spike started to follow her but then changed direction and head into the kitchen. He opened the door to the fridge and pulled out a bag of blood. He heated it and poured it into a mug.
He was looking out the window while he drank his blood. Then he heard a sound he hadn't noticed before. He turned in the direction of it and saw what had made the sound. On the counter was some of carrier and in it was a baby. A baby that looked so much like his sires that it had to be Connor.
Spike saw the baby studying him. The baby looked at him for minute and then look out a cry. Spike just stared at the baby, unsure of what to do. He looked around and saw that Angel was no where in sight. He tried to remember everything from when Charles and Charlotte where babies. His vampire sense of smell told him that the baby didn't need changing and Spike had no idea how to feed him. The only other thing he could think was that Connor was just bored. So Spike unstrapped him and picked him up.
Picking him up had no effect, the baby continued to cry. "Come on," Spike said, bouncing the baby. "Be quiet." He let out a cry of exasperation, "Bloody hell, shut up. Are you going to be as annoying as both your parents?" Connor's cries didn't let up, "Okay," Spike said, trying to think of ways he'd helped quiet his brother and sister. "You want to hear a song, that always worked with the twins." He shifted the baby in his arms and began to sing, "I want to be sedated." It didn't help. If anything Connor's cries increased, "Fine," Spike said. "Remind me to have a little talk with your father about the kind of music he's exposing you to. That vampire has no taste. Don't want that rubbing off on you." He bounced the baby, trying to calm him. "Listen here you," Spike said. "This is the only way I know to shut you up so if this doesn't work then you're on your own." He cradled Connor in his arms and began to hum an English lullaby that he remembered from his own childhood and that she had sung to Charles and Charlotte too. It had always worked to calm them and it was having the same effect on Connor. "Well what do you know," Spike said. "It worked." He continued to rock the baby. Connor wasn't falling asleep but he was calming down.
Suddenly a voice from the kitchen doorways said, "Get the hell away from my son."