Chapter Two: Down Once More
As Christine turned to him, Erik found it hard to breathe. He'd found it hard to breathe the moment he saw her, standing in the door way, frozen. The sight of her had stilled his voice and brought back all of the hurt that had almost begun to heal. His stinging words hung in the air between them as she lifted her eyes to his. He was incredulous to see all of his pain and love and yearning mirrored in her gaze.
"What are you doing here?" he asked harshly, fighting to keep his voice at a steady level. His private mêlée was enormous—he could either show her the love that had captivated him once again, or he could override it with bitter anger. Experience with Christine had assured him that anger was much safer, so he stared upon her with a blank face, fighting to keep his emotions in check. As he moved his eyes from hers to study her countenance, he swallowed a cry of concern. She was ghastly pale and her hair hung limply around her face and shoulders. His hand rose involuntarily to caress her cheek, but he caught himself and reached for the candelabra instead.
"Let me hold it. You look like you're about to faint." She continued to stare at him, but relinquished the torch. He sighed. "Why are you here?" he repeated. She opened her mouth and his body betrayed him once again as his eyes immediately went to her lips and began to play memories in his head of their shared embrace. He stifled a curse and turned from her, heading back to the theatre.
Christine followed him silently, watching him with pained eyes. She feared that if she were to speak, she would say things she could never retract, and she was so frightened that she would give him false hope—that he would think she was here to stay. She knew that if she were to speak, she would proclaim love never-ending for him, would speak from her heart instead of her mind and therefore endanger him once again. Countless words and emotions warred within her psyche. She wanted to reach for him, pull him to her and kiss him once more. She longed to remove the mask that he wore, the leather barricade between her soul and his own. She ached to throw caution to the wind and to hell with it; to let the love inside of her out, finally and for good. Deep in her stomach she felt what she feared most; that perhaps she had come here expecting him, and had so desperately fought against the hope that she had fully convinced herself that she had only revisited the opera house to lay her past to rest. She knew though; she was well aware of the truth. She'd come for Erik. She couldn't live without his love.
She nearly collided with his chest, unaware that he had come to a stop and turned to her. She stumbled back and lost her footing and instinctively he grabbed for her, pulling her to him to steady her. His heart leapt at his ribcage, and his eyes misted over with the feel of her body pressed to his. She stared up at his face and he gazed over her head, urgently fighting to regain his piece of mind. He ordered himself to set her away from him, but he couldn't even seem to acknowledge his rational thoughts. All he knew, all he felt was her; and then her hand was upon his face, and his mask was on the floor. He tensed, but simply lowered his head and released her.
"Why do you do this to me, Christine?" he whispered and she cupped his face in her hands, all reason, all sensibility lost. His eyes met hers and the love that rushed forth to greet him was so insurmountable that he lost his breath once more. He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. He was astonished at his lack of shame, his lack of anger upon being exposed. He was used to it by now, he supposed, and her eyes upon his face were not condemning or hateful, but instead warm and loving. Her fingers stroked his malformed skin with gentle compassion, and he felt…normal; as though his face was smooth and unblemished, and he was desirable in her eyes. Meeting her adoring stare, he realized that he was. She desired him, she loved him; she'd seen past all his hate and fear and his horrid appearance into his soul. He looked down, inhaling sharply.
"Erik, I belong to you. I've feared you for so long but loved you so much longer. I couldn't understand before, what it all meant, these feelings of mine and this undeniable hunger for you; but I know now. I know that you are all that matters. You are my truth, my angel and my guardian." Christine didn't even know she spoke the words aloud until she saw his face transform from bitter to tender. His eyes clouded as they met hers abruptly, as though he wasn't sure he was hearing the words. A tear slid slowly down his cavernous cheek and he pulled her to him. Their bodies matched exactly and she marveled at the way they fit, like a puzzle. She'd never noticed before just how perfectly they pieced together, and was amazed at the oversight. His satin-gloved hand wove its way through her hair, and a shimmer of silk brushed her cheek. They were a blur of black and white, the rose of her skin and the brilliant auburn of her hair. They mixed together in lace and silk, and the noises they made against each other—each shift of their bodies and the hum of their breath—it was like a symphony of their own, exuding a brilliant melody of love.
"Erik." He shuddered at the way her mouth formed his name, the way the "r" rolled upon her tongue before slipping through her lips. "Erik, I want to go home," she said. He was shattered at the gentleness of it, that she would call his home her own. Taking her hand in his, he led her, down once more into their chamber of secret and forbidden longing. Slipping behind a statue and into a small doorway, he held the candelabra before them as they descended the dank stairs into the vaults of the opera house.
It was like a dream—misty and unreal; candlelit and ponderous. Christine was trance-like, following after Erik and relying on him to lead the way, for she would have become utterly lost on her own, so deep in though she was. The tunnel was exactly as she'd remembered it, and the gondola waited at the jaws of the canal. It was all so familiar, the decent, the floating sensation, the water and the flickering flames. Erik hummed to her and as they navigated through the channel. Christine picked up the tune and matched him in the soaring wordless song. The stone reverberated, throwing their harmony back at them, and again Christine was amazed at their seamlessness, the way they flowed together like ribbon and steel. The gondola made berth at the shore of Erik's island of darkness, and she rose, staring upon the scene of her greatest conflict. She flinched as she was bombarded with memories for what seemed to be the hundredth time since entering the Opera Populaire in its ruined state.
"Free her, do what you like only free her. Have you no pity?" The words assaulted her, Raoul's voice penetrating her reverie. The recollection made her sick, and her stomach heaved. Erik watched her with remorse, well aware of the flashbacks that battered her. He relived the scene almost every day, but it had been less frequent in coming as of late. However, with her here, he was overwhelmed once more with the bitter regret and misery of that night. He wanted to go to her, to take her in his arms and comfort her, but he was paralyzed by his guilt at causing her such pain. He stared at her face in the dim light, as tiny stars dripped from her eyes and fell into the water of the canal. They made almost unnoticeable ripples. His heart shuddered in his chest.
"Christine," he groaned and his voice was a cracked and hollow cry of pain. "Christine, forgive me." She looked at him, her eyes shining with disbelief.
"Forgive you? Erik, I love you." She hadn't meant to say the words. She flinched as they escaped her lips. With a nearly silent swish, Erik was beside her. He put a finger beneath her chin and tilted her head up so that he could look into her eyes. He looked young and vulnerable, but exuberant.
"Oh, Christine…" he exclaimed quietly. His chest had swelled, breaking open and allowing his love to flow out and consume him open hearing her words. Her cheeks were bright with blush, and she furrowed her brow.
"I'm sorry, Erik, I shouldn't have said…" He silenced her with a kiss. She went weak in his arms and he gathered her up, lifting her like a child, never moving his lips from hers. He spun her around, and she parted her lips to invite him farther inside of her. He went weak as well, and fought to hold himself steady as he deepened the embrace. She moaned against his mouth, a musical sound of pure passion. He pulled back, breaking the kiss, and looked into her eyes. Then, he carried her carefully to the bedchamber, laying her among the scarlet linens. The red was a stark contrast to her ivory skin and he marveled at the disparity, struck motionless by her beauty. Then, she stretched out her hands to him, and he gave a cry of abandonment, lying beside her. She slid her arms around his shoulders and touched her lips to his tentatively. He was heartbroken by her innocent sweetness, but also grounded by it.
"Christine, my love, if we continue this way, I may commit an unforgivable crime against your innocence," he said through gritted teeth, chastising himself for being so forward with such a naive child. She laid a hand upon his cheek and smiled.
"Erik, I want this, I do. There is no one I would rather be with. I've been waiting so long," she murmured as she kissed him once more. This time, he did not protest, but took her into his arms instead, pressing her against him as closely as possible. He pressed her onto her back and laid himself over her, staring into her eyes. She clung to his shoulders and parted her lips, gazing up at him. He couldn't seem to drink in enough of her beauty. It flooded his senses in their entirety. He was sure it was but a dream, although the touch of her skin against his was almost more than he could bear, which insisted that this was reality, and his greatest unrealized dream was to soon come true.
He leaned down, kissing her shoulder. "Love me, that's all I ask of you," he sang quietly, almost in a whisper, and she pulled at him, trying to bring him closer. She was frantic with the need to crawl inside of him, until there was no room left to breathe and they had become one. He sat up and she looked at him with wild eyes. He pulled her into a sitting position as well, and slowly unlaced her dress, slipping it off of her shoulders. She grew impatient with the tedious task of undressing, and assisted him in the removal of her clothing. He draped the dress and her underclothes at the foot of the bed and turned back to her. When he did, he went absolutely still, and his eyes welled with tears at the sight of her unhidden beauty. She stared at him in astonishment.
"Erik…" she gasped, shocked at the wet gathering in his eyes. "Erik, what is it?" she asked. He smiled, blinking the tears away. He pressed a hand to her hip.
"I am overwhelmed with your beauty, Christine. I have always known you were stunning, but to see you like this…it is heart wrenching." She smiled.
"Oh, Erik," she said, reaching for him once again. He leaned down to kiss her, and trembled as their lips touched. She tore at his clothing, fueled by a refreshed need for him that suffocated her. Without moving from her, he slid out of his shirt and tossed it aside. She leaned back and looked at his golden skin that seemed to glow from within when caressed by the candlelight. She ran her fingertips over the muscles in his chest, and then slid her arms around him and skimmed her hands up and down his back. He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. She lifted her lips up and pressed them to his chin, feeling him relax at her touch.
He seemed hesitant to remove his remaining clothing, and so she slid a hand down to their waistline. He tensed, but as she unbuttoned the first button, he let a small moan of anticipation escape from him. She quickly did away with the lingering garments, and then sat back to look at him as he had her. He was all sinew, satin draped deceivingly over steel. She bit her lip, and he looked away from her.
Erik squirmed under her gaze self-consciously. He was so unsure of himself, so certain of rejection. Yet, when he looked back at her, he was shocked to see the desire clouding her eyes. She ran a hand down his stomach and touched him apprehensively. Her sweetness ravaged him with lust. He pulled her down to him and then turned her over onto her back and lost himself inside her…