Chapter Fifty-One: Teach Me To
"Alright everyone," The instructor said once all the parents were settled. "Let's begin." She looked around the room. "Now most of you I know since the majority of you have used the clinic before but for the benefit of our newcomers, why don't we go around and introduce ourselves." She gestured to Spike and Buffy. "Let's start with you two. Can you tell us your names and the number of children you have."
"Uh," Buffy stammered. She took a deep breath and said, "I'm Buffy Summers and this.." She had no idea of how to introduce Spike. No matter what name he used, Spike or William the Bloody, she was going to have some explaining to do.
One of the women took pity on her and said, "Don't feel bad, I'm the same way. Some days I'm lucky if I can remember my own name let along someone else's."
Buffy nodded, grateful at the rescue, and Spike also spoke up, "Spike."
"Excuse me?" The instructor asked. "Did you just say your name was Spike?"
"Nick-name," Buffy covered.
"Where did that come from?" One of the fathers asked, curiously.
"Long story," Spike said. "I'll explain it later. My real name is William Bennett," The name sounded strange since he hadn't used it for over a century. "And this is our first child."
The rest of the room introduced themselves and pretty soon it was clear that Buffy and Spike were the only first-time parents in the room. The instructor noticed this too, "Well it looks like you two are the only ones becoming parents for the first time. Do either of you have any kind of experience with children?"
"My mother died about a year ago," Buffy explained. "I'm the legal guardian of my teenage sister and Spike also helped raise his younger brother and sister."
"A teenager and a new baby," One of the women said. "Sounds like my house. This is our 'surprise' child. We have two teenagers at home." She shook her head, "They're excited now but what's going to happen when the baby's born?"
"That's something we want to help you with," The instructor said. "All of you have to help the other children in your life adjust to your new baby."
"My girls are excited," One of the mothers said. "They're thrilled about having a little brother or sister."
"Not my son, he's had us all to himself for eight years and now he has to share us with his new little brother," Another mother said.
Before long everyone was discussing how their other children were reacting to the news of a new sibling. Buffy was drawn right in to the discussion but Spike quickly became bored. This 'class' was turning into a discussion group with the instructor only pointing out what was right and what was wrong and making her own suggestions. And it appeared that instructor's solution for every problem was therapy. He wondered if it was a coincidence that the clinic had several therapists on staff.
The instructor noticed that his eyes had glazed over, "Will..er.Spike," She said. "Is there a problem?"
"What?" Spike said, snapping to attention. "No, no problem here."
"Good," She said. "Because learning how to be a good parent is just as important for fathers as it is for mothers. So why don't you give us your views on how to help Buffy's sister adjust to your new baby."
"Just have to let the Nibblet know that we still love her," Spike said. "It's not that difficult. Everyone's into these new age things, needing therapy for everything."
"Spike," Buffy whispered under her breath, so that no one would hear her but him. "Shut up."
Spike ignored her, "I was ten when my brother and sister were born. My parents sure didn't do anything to prepare me other than mention that I was getting a brother. Then suddenly I find out I have one of each. I bloody well didn't need therapy to deal with them."
"I agree with Spike," Another less vocal father said. "Sibling rivalry's been around since the beginning of time. All we can do as parents is to make sure that our children know that we love them both equally."
"How do you explain that to a toddler?" One of the mothers asked. "My daughter will have just turned two when the baby's born. She's not going to understand any of what's going on except that she won't have my full attention anymore."
"So?" Spike said. "I bloody well didn't understand what was going when anything life-altering occurred to me. I just dealt with it and moved on, whether it was getting a brother and sister or becoming a.." He was about to blurt out vampire when Buffy discreetly kicked him in the leg. He quickly covered by saying, "Father."
"Fine," The instructor broke in. "I think this is one area that each of us needs to find our own solution that best suits the children involved. For our next class I want all of us to sit down with our partners and each of you figure out a way to help the other children in your house adjust to the new baby. I want to hear your ideas. For now I have something for each couple." She pulled out a box, "I'm giving you each one now and at the end of this class you'll turn them in." She took out several dolls. "These are dolls that are programmed to cry at different times. Some of them are fussy and others are calm. When they cry you insert this key," She showed them how to insert the key and said, "The dolls are also programmed so that I'll be able to tell how quickly you react to the cries." She raised her eyes, "And that will be a big part of how you're graded for this class. These will help prepare you for your new baby, a preview for our new parents and a refresher for ones who already have children."
Spike, along with half the class went up and grabbed one of the dolls. He took it back to Buffy, who wasn't pleased with his choice.
"Why did you get us a girl doll?" She asked. "We're having a boy, remember?"
"I know," Spike said. "But I have the perfect name for her."
"What?" Buffy asked.
"Edith," Spike said, holding up the doll. "We can call her Miss Edith."
Buffy glared at him, stood up, grabbed the doll and stormed over to the table where the dolls where. There she grabbed a boy doll.
"Problems?" One of the other women asked, sympathetically.
Buffy gestured to the girl doll, "Spike grabbed the wrong doll. We're having a boy but he took a girl doll."
The woman held up a girl doll, "We don't know what we're having so I just reached in and grabbed. I'm Meg, by the way and that's my husband Mark talking to Spike."
Buffy looked in their direction, "I hope he behaves himself."
"Doesn't play well with others?" Meg asked, sympathetically.
Buffy smiled, "Last time we went out in public together was to a friend's wedding. We had to leave early because he got into a fight with the maid-of- honor."
"Sounds like quite a charmer," Meg commented.
"He is," Buffy admitted. "I think that's the only way he's been able to stay alive this long."
"That's the only way any man's able to stay alive," Meg said. "By charming their way out of trouble." She patted her stomach, "That's how we got both of our children, by his charming his way back into my good graces."
"You have two children?" Buffy asked.
"This one and then one at home," Meg explained. "Our son, Jamie is five."
"This is my first," Buffy said.
Meg nodded, "I noticed that you were the only first time mother here."
"Yeah," Buffy said. It bothered her a little that she was the youngest one in the class but she was used to being the odd one out. She glanced back over to where Spike was talking with Mark. She wondered what they were saying.
"So how did you get the nickname, Spike?" Mark asked Spike.
"Uh," Spike tried to think of something that would be believed and that Buffy wouldn't stake him for saying. "It goes back to when I was much younger."
"Childhood nickname?"
"Right," Spike said. "I used to play with rail-road spikes." He grinned. "Had a lot of fun with those things."
Mark smiled back, "I used to play by the tracks myself, wanted to hop a boxcar and ride the rails."
"Not that much fun," Spike advised. He and Dru had rode the rails with Darla during WW II. They'd fed off of passengers and dodged Nazis whenever possible. It had not been the most enjoyable experience of his unlife. "Tried it, wouldn't recommend it."
"Glad I didn't try it then and if I tried it now my wife would kill me. That's her over there, talking with your." He gestured to where Meg was standing with Buffy.
"Buffy," Spike said. He didn't know what Buffy considered him to be and now wasn't the time to start assuming roles.
"Right," Mark said. "She doesn't look too happy with you."
"She's never very happy with me," Spike said. "That's just the way it is."
"What is?" Buffy asked. She and Meg had joined them. "Here," Buffy said, handing him their doll. "I got the right one this time."
"You picked the wrong doll?" Mark asked Spike.
"We're having a boy but he grabbed one of the girl dolls so we could name it after the doll his ex had."
"Hey," Spike protested. "That doll and I understood each other."
"She must have been easier to understand than Drusilla." Buffy snapped. Then she noticed the strange looks that they were getting. "The girl he was with before me was insane and she had this doll."
"Another long story," Spike said. He was trying to think of a more elaborate explanation when the instructor approached them.
"Buffy, you have a phone call," The instructor told them.
Buffy glanced anxiously at Spike and they followed the instructor to the office. Buffy picked up the phone and said, "Hello?"
"Buffy, I'm glad I caught you."
"Willow," Buffy said. "Is everything okay? Did something happen to Dawn?"
"No, no," Willow assured her. "Dawn's fine. I just needed to catch you before you came home."
"Why?" Buffy asked.
"I can't explain right now," Willow said. "All I can tell you is that whatever you do, don't bring Spike home with you tonight."
"What?" Buffy wondered. "Why not?"
"You'll understand when you get here." Willow said. "I have to go. Just remember, keep Spike away from the house tonight."
"Wait, Willow.." Buffy said, but she was too late. Willow had hung up.
"Alright everyone," The instructor said once all the parents were settled. "Let's begin." She looked around the room. "Now most of you I know since the majority of you have used the clinic before but for the benefit of our newcomers, why don't we go around and introduce ourselves." She gestured to Spike and Buffy. "Let's start with you two. Can you tell us your names and the number of children you have."
"Uh," Buffy stammered. She took a deep breath and said, "I'm Buffy Summers and this.." She had no idea of how to introduce Spike. No matter what name he used, Spike or William the Bloody, she was going to have some explaining to do.
One of the women took pity on her and said, "Don't feel bad, I'm the same way. Some days I'm lucky if I can remember my own name let along someone else's."
Buffy nodded, grateful at the rescue, and Spike also spoke up, "Spike."
"Excuse me?" The instructor asked. "Did you just say your name was Spike?"
"Nick-name," Buffy covered.
"Where did that come from?" One of the fathers asked, curiously.
"Long story," Spike said. "I'll explain it later. My real name is William Bennett," The name sounded strange since he hadn't used it for over a century. "And this is our first child."
The rest of the room introduced themselves and pretty soon it was clear that Buffy and Spike were the only first-time parents in the room. The instructor noticed this too, "Well it looks like you two are the only ones becoming parents for the first time. Do either of you have any kind of experience with children?"
"My mother died about a year ago," Buffy explained. "I'm the legal guardian of my teenage sister and Spike also helped raise his younger brother and sister."
"A teenager and a new baby," One of the women said. "Sounds like my house. This is our 'surprise' child. We have two teenagers at home." She shook her head, "They're excited now but what's going to happen when the baby's born?"
"That's something we want to help you with," The instructor said. "All of you have to help the other children in your life adjust to your new baby."
"My girls are excited," One of the mothers said. "They're thrilled about having a little brother or sister."
"Not my son, he's had us all to himself for eight years and now he has to share us with his new little brother," Another mother said.
Before long everyone was discussing how their other children were reacting to the news of a new sibling. Buffy was drawn right in to the discussion but Spike quickly became bored. This 'class' was turning into a discussion group with the instructor only pointing out what was right and what was wrong and making her own suggestions. And it appeared that instructor's solution for every problem was therapy. He wondered if it was a coincidence that the clinic had several therapists on staff.
The instructor noticed that his eyes had glazed over, "Will..er.Spike," She said. "Is there a problem?"
"What?" Spike said, snapping to attention. "No, no problem here."
"Good," She said. "Because learning how to be a good parent is just as important for fathers as it is for mothers. So why don't you give us your views on how to help Buffy's sister adjust to your new baby."
"Just have to let the Nibblet know that we still love her," Spike said. "It's not that difficult. Everyone's into these new age things, needing therapy for everything."
"Spike," Buffy whispered under her breath, so that no one would hear her but him. "Shut up."
Spike ignored her, "I was ten when my brother and sister were born. My parents sure didn't do anything to prepare me other than mention that I was getting a brother. Then suddenly I find out I have one of each. I bloody well didn't need therapy to deal with them."
"I agree with Spike," Another less vocal father said. "Sibling rivalry's been around since the beginning of time. All we can do as parents is to make sure that our children know that we love them both equally."
"How do you explain that to a toddler?" One of the mothers asked. "My daughter will have just turned two when the baby's born. She's not going to understand any of what's going on except that she won't have my full attention anymore."
"So?" Spike said. "I bloody well didn't understand what was going when anything life-altering occurred to me. I just dealt with it and moved on, whether it was getting a brother and sister or becoming a.." He was about to blurt out vampire when Buffy discreetly kicked him in the leg. He quickly covered by saying, "Father."
"Fine," The instructor broke in. "I think this is one area that each of us needs to find our own solution that best suits the children involved. For our next class I want all of us to sit down with our partners and each of you figure out a way to help the other children in your house adjust to the new baby. I want to hear your ideas. For now I have something for each couple." She pulled out a box, "I'm giving you each one now and at the end of this class you'll turn them in." She took out several dolls. "These are dolls that are programmed to cry at different times. Some of them are fussy and others are calm. When they cry you insert this key," She showed them how to insert the key and said, "The dolls are also programmed so that I'll be able to tell how quickly you react to the cries." She raised her eyes, "And that will be a big part of how you're graded for this class. These will help prepare you for your new baby, a preview for our new parents and a refresher for ones who already have children."
Spike, along with half the class went up and grabbed one of the dolls. He took it back to Buffy, who wasn't pleased with his choice.
"Why did you get us a girl doll?" She asked. "We're having a boy, remember?"
"I know," Spike said. "But I have the perfect name for her."
"What?" Buffy asked.
"Edith," Spike said, holding up the doll. "We can call her Miss Edith."
Buffy glared at him, stood up, grabbed the doll and stormed over to the table where the dolls where. There she grabbed a boy doll.
"Problems?" One of the other women asked, sympathetically.
Buffy gestured to the girl doll, "Spike grabbed the wrong doll. We're having a boy but he took a girl doll."
The woman held up a girl doll, "We don't know what we're having so I just reached in and grabbed. I'm Meg, by the way and that's my husband Mark talking to Spike."
Buffy looked in their direction, "I hope he behaves himself."
"Doesn't play well with others?" Meg asked, sympathetically.
Buffy smiled, "Last time we went out in public together was to a friend's wedding. We had to leave early because he got into a fight with the maid-of- honor."
"Sounds like quite a charmer," Meg commented.
"He is," Buffy admitted. "I think that's the only way he's been able to stay alive this long."
"That's the only way any man's able to stay alive," Meg said. "By charming their way out of trouble." She patted her stomach, "That's how we got both of our children, by his charming his way back into my good graces."
"You have two children?" Buffy asked.
"This one and then one at home," Meg explained. "Our son, Jamie is five."
"This is my first," Buffy said.
Meg nodded, "I noticed that you were the only first time mother here."
"Yeah," Buffy said. It bothered her a little that she was the youngest one in the class but she was used to being the odd one out. She glanced back over to where Spike was talking with Mark. She wondered what they were saying.
"So how did you get the nickname, Spike?" Mark asked Spike.
"Uh," Spike tried to think of something that would be believed and that Buffy wouldn't stake him for saying. "It goes back to when I was much younger."
"Childhood nickname?"
"Right," Spike said. "I used to play with rail-road spikes." He grinned. "Had a lot of fun with those things."
Mark smiled back, "I used to play by the tracks myself, wanted to hop a boxcar and ride the rails."
"Not that much fun," Spike advised. He and Dru had rode the rails with Darla during WW II. They'd fed off of passengers and dodged Nazis whenever possible. It had not been the most enjoyable experience of his unlife. "Tried it, wouldn't recommend it."
"Glad I didn't try it then and if I tried it now my wife would kill me. That's her over there, talking with your." He gestured to where Meg was standing with Buffy.
"Buffy," Spike said. He didn't know what Buffy considered him to be and now wasn't the time to start assuming roles.
"Right," Mark said. "She doesn't look too happy with you."
"She's never very happy with me," Spike said. "That's just the way it is."
"What is?" Buffy asked. She and Meg had joined them. "Here," Buffy said, handing him their doll. "I got the right one this time."
"You picked the wrong doll?" Mark asked Spike.
"We're having a boy but he grabbed one of the girl dolls so we could name it after the doll his ex had."
"Hey," Spike protested. "That doll and I understood each other."
"She must have been easier to understand than Drusilla." Buffy snapped. Then she noticed the strange looks that they were getting. "The girl he was with before me was insane and she had this doll."
"Another long story," Spike said. He was trying to think of a more elaborate explanation when the instructor approached them.
"Buffy, you have a phone call," The instructor told them.
Buffy glanced anxiously at Spike and they followed the instructor to the office. Buffy picked up the phone and said, "Hello?"
"Buffy, I'm glad I caught you."
"Willow," Buffy said. "Is everything okay? Did something happen to Dawn?"
"No, no," Willow assured her. "Dawn's fine. I just needed to catch you before you came home."
"Why?" Buffy asked.
"I can't explain right now," Willow said. "All I can tell you is that whatever you do, don't bring Spike home with you tonight."
"What?" Buffy wondered. "Why not?"
"You'll understand when you get here." Willow said. "I have to go. Just remember, keep Spike away from the house tonight."
"Wait, Willow.." Buffy said, but she was too late. Willow had hung up.