NOTES – Transfiguration – 6th year
S – And turning into Animagi is very dangerous…blah blah blah…
J – Have you ever noticed how she always seems to look our way whenever we start passing notes?
R – It's not like she's never caught us before.
J – Yeah, but she always looks at us like we're guilty or something.
S – That's probably because we are.
J – She doesn't trust us!
R – Why should she?
S – Yeah, she even told us that she's never had to hand out more detentions to any two students.
R – I've had more detentions than my parents care to acknowledge.
S – I've had at least 3 a week since the 2nd week of our 1st year.
R – You win.
J – That's why they made you the Prefect. You've had the least detentions of all of us.
S – I remember Wormtail almost started crying the first time he was handed a detention!
J – Yeah, and Moony, you looked like you were about to faint.
R – Do you blame me? I thought I was going to get kicked out! Dumbledore let me in and what do I do? Cause trouble.
S – But causing trouble is so much more fun than behaving.
J – Yeah, and you do make us feel guilty sometimes. That should count for something.
S – You could kill someone with those You-Should-Feel-Ashamed-of-Yourselves looks.
R – Ooh, I could have some fun with that power.
S – Prongs, we've done it. We've rubbed off on him. He's finally gone over the edge.
J – It's about time. I was starting to worry about him.
P – Guys! Did you hear what McGonagall just said?
S – No, but I'm assuming it's either really funny or really worrisome since you stopped listening to tell us.
P – She said that turning into illegal Animagi is not only very dangerous but a felony! We could get tossed in Azkaban for life!
J – Why should we care? We're not planning on becoming illegal Animagi.
P – But w-
James grabs Peter's quill and hisses in his ear - "You put that in writing and anyone can read it! Then we will be expelled and tossed in Azkaban!"
Peter gulps
S – If we did turn into animals, I wonder what I would be?
J – Probably a really stupid animal, like a cockroach.
S – At least I'd be hard to kill.
J – I'd find a way.
S – I bet you would be an albatross.
J - …Why?
S – Because they're really funny looking. And they have big mouths. And they squawk at their friends when they see them after long periods of time.
J – I don't squawk at you guys.
S – That's what you think.
R – If anyone does find this, they are going to think we have some problems.
J – I do have a problem. He's sitting next to me and stupidly leaning back in his chair, even though McGonagall is always after him to –
McGonagall – "Black, chairs have 4 legs for a reason. If I have to tell you again, you will have detention."
S – Is it worth the risk?
J – Is what worth the risk?
S – Leaning back again.
R – It depends. Are you booked for detention every night this week, or do you have a night to spare?
S – I actually have 2 nights to spare, but I think I need them to get my dumb Potions essay written.
R – You haven't started yet?
S – Of course not. I'm not you.
J – You know what procrastinators we are.
R – Too true. Of course with my Potions skills I need all the time I can get.
J – You're not that bad at Potions.
R – My youth potion made that bird lose all its feathers. Then it died. I think I'm pretty bad at Potions.
S – Hey, that bird was about 80 years old. It lived a good life.
J – It probably wasn't your potion that killed it.
S – It was probably just the twig that whomped the Willow.
J – That's an interesting way to put it.
R – And it doesn't make me feel much better.
J – Padfoot never makes anyone feel better. In fact, I think he tends to make them feel worse.
S – But I make you guys happy.
J – Yeah, when you're not here.
S – I don't know why I take this abuse.
R – Because we make you happy.
S – You make me nauseous.
J – Well, the soggy doggy smell isn't exactly soothing to the stomach, not to mention the fact that you slobber all over everything.
R – I'm so glad we're having the conversation right before lunch.
S – I'm feeling carnivorous. I need a steak or something.
J – You had steak for breakfast.
S – Your point?
J – Just making an observation.
McGonagall - "Potter and company! What do the words 'do not pass notes in my class' mean to you?"
J – "Er…don't pass notes in your class?"
McGonagall – "Very good, Mr. Potter. Now I expect all three of you to stop, especially you Lupin. I would think a Prefect would know better."
R – "Yes Ma'am."
S – I would think a Prefect would know better. Hissssssss!
J – Nice Padfoot. Why don't we make this note a little more hazardous and write something like McGonagall is a –
R – DON'T write it Prongs.
J – Wasn't going to Moony.
R – Why don't I believe you?
J – No idea. I'm completely angelic and trustworthy.
S – On which planet?
J – Uranus.
S – Wow Prongs, you're so funny.
J – I know.
R – Looking.
S – Oh Moony! You pulled a Padfoot! I'm so proud of you!
J – Moony no! How could you?
R – Sorry Prongs, couldn't resist.
S – He's naturally evil. It just took him a while to discover the madness within!
J – And you'd know all about that, wouldn't you Padfoot?
S – Whatever do you mean?
J – Nothing, nothing at all.
R – So Prongs, have you had any luck with Lily?
S – Of course not.
J – Shut up Padfoot.
S – Well have you had any luck with her?
J – Of course not.
S – Yes, shut up Padfoot.
J – I don't understand females! Why do they have to travel in groups? I mean, you call one of their names and the whole group turns around!
S – Prongs, have you never noticed that when someone calls to Moony we all turn around as well?
R – That actually holds true for when any of our names are called.
J – Well…yeah…but at least we don't have to have each other to take a trip to the bathroom!
S – This is true.
R – I wonder why they do that.
J – That is what we are trying to figure out now, my dear Moony.
S – Well, we've all been inside Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, and it doesn't appear to have any mind-boggling obstacles that would require the use of more than one person.
J – Maybe that's where they gossip.
S – But girls gossip anywhere.
R – I don't think even Dumbledore knows about the mysterious realm known as the feminine mind.
J – Of course not. He's not feminine.
S – Well then, maybe Wormtail knows.
R – Padfoot, that's mean.
S – No one ever said honesty was flattering.
J – So you're saying Wormtail is feminine are you?
S – Good James, you've finally learned to read between the lines.
J – Who screams like a girl whenever a puffskein gets near them?
S – OK, I haven't screamed since I was…
J – A third year. 13 YEARS OLD!
S – Yeah, but it wasn't a feminine scream.
J – Poor Padfoot, so naïve…
S – I seem to remember how a certain person who shall remain unnamed coughJamesPottercough who screamed bloody murder because he thought that Lily was going to hex him.
R – Yet another fine example of him making a fool of himself in front of her.
J – You know what? I was 14 years old, and I had already suffered the wrath of her hexes once before. They are scream-worthy. But puffskeins, come on…that's pathetic.
S – Whoever said that it was you, Prongs?
J – The Grim told me.
S – You've seen the Grim? No! I don't want you to die! Well actually…
J – Oh, go chase your tail you dumb canine.
S – Go get your horns stuck in a pothole.
J – Go feed yourself to a werewolf.
R – I'm insulted.
J – Sorry, you weren't having any fun so I had to drag you in.
R – That's quite alright.
S – My turn! Go bother a rabbit.
J – Go sniff someone's buttocks.
S – Go provoke a garden gnome.
J – What did I tell you about that?
S – It's not nice.
J – That's right.
S - Go howl at the moon, Wolf Boy.
R – What did I do?
S – You have that smirk on your face. The one that says, "Oh, I'm so cool and mature. I pity you poor, lesser mortals."
R – I don't think I'm cool, nor do I think you are lesser mortals.
J – But you do think you're more mature than us.
R – Well, that goes without saying.
S – Who am I? Ah-WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
R – My point exactly.
J – The Hogwarts Express.
S – Nope, you lose. I'm Moony!
R – Oh please no. Anyone but you…
J – OK, who am I? BARK – Hahahahahahaha.
S – The Whomping Willow.
J – What? No. I'll give you 2 hints: He has the strangest mind of anyone I've ever met and he had fleas!
R – Padfoot!
J – Very good Moony!
R – How did you figure that it was the Whomping Willow?
S – Well, it has bark. And I bet that it would laugh at us if it could, you know, after it hits everyone.
J – As I said, the strangest mind of anyone I've ever met.
R – I suppose it's my turn. Who am I?
Messes up his hair
J – Padfoot with fleas!
S – You must be joking. Prongs!
R – Bravo Padfoot.
J – Do I really mess up my hair that much?
S – Lily's looking at you.
J –Hand flies to his hair and messes it up
R – Yeah, you do Prongs.
S – It probably would have been easier on Prongs' simple mind if you had written, "I love Lily Evans."
R – No, because then Prongs and his simple mind would have simply jumped to conclusions and punched me.
J – Yeah, probably.
Bell