S – 1000 bottles of Butterbeer on the wall…1000 bottles of Butterbeer…
J – Bored Padfoot?
S – Not at all. Why do you ask?
J – I don't know. I just got this crazy notion that you were bored.
R – Which is positively absurd because Padfoot never gets bored.
J – Especially in history.
S – Who could get bored in history? Not me, that's for sure.
R – I agree fully.
J – It's my favorite class.
R –Prongs, that's going a bit far.
S – Yeah, you sound like Wormtail.
J – I'm sorry! Sheesh, no need to insult me.
S – Ok, we need to do something fun. I'm bored.
J – HA! Knew it.
S – Bravo Prongs. You have just been nominated for the I-Don't-Miss-A-Thing Award.
J – Who am I up against?
S – Not sure yet. Possibly Moony, but he has to do something stupid enough to deserve a nomination.
J – Is that an insult?
S – Congratulations! You won!
J – You are such a git.
S – I know. It adds to my charm.
J – Haha whatever.
R – Along with the fleas and the tail.
S – Again with the fleas! I only had fleas ONCE! And I – Hey, wait a minute. YOU have a tail too, Wolf Boy!
R – True, but I never claimed to be charming.
S – And I bet you've had fleas at least once in the past 13 years!
R – I can proudly and honestly say that I have never had fleas.
S – Well aren't you just…special.
R – Yes.
S – Aw…that's cute Remmy.
R – Don't call me cute.
J – Have you guys ever noticed how shiny Lily's hair is?
S – Have you ever noticed how stupid James sounds when he's talking about how shiny Lily's hair is?
R – Countless times, actually.
J – Haha, yes, you guys are just so funny. But looks aren't everything…
S – Especially in your case, huh Prongs?
J – There's an insult hidden in there somewhere. I just know it.
S – Good Prongs, living up to your award, I'm so proud of you.
J – You know what? Why do we always go around insulting each other? We're all best friends! Why do we like to pick on each other so much?
S – Would you rather me tell you how smart, dashing, and incredibly witty you are?
J – That would be nice.
S – Yeah…too bad for you I'm not a liar.
J – But I suppose being a git makes up for that.
S – You need some new insults. You've called me a git twice on one piece of parchment.
J – Prat.
S – Hey, don't drag Wormy into this.
J – What? That says P-R-A-T! Not R-A-T!
S – Oh. Sorry. I find it a bit difficult to read that chicken scratch you call handwriting.
J – Moony, will you be nice to me?
R – That depends. Will you pay me back the 5 Sickles you owe me?
J – I don't owe you 5 Sickles!
R – Yes you do. Last Hogsmeade visit you just HAD to have that bag of Zonko's Sensational Super Deluxe Itching Powder and you couldn't afford it because you wasted all your money on Dungbombs and that big box of Honeyduke's Best Chocolate.
J – You know if memory serves, a certain werewolf ate over half that box of chocolate that I spent my money on.
R – Oh come on, it was only about a third. Besides, it was right after full moon AND that girl who works there gave you a discount because you're a frequent shopper.
S – And she probably thinks we're cute.
J – Who doesn't?
R – Teachers…That guy who works at Flourish and Blotts…Lily…
J – Oh, she thinks I'm cute.
S – Keep dreaming Prongsie.
J – Don't call me Prongsie. And of course she thinks I'm cute.
S – No, she really doesn't.
J – Does too.
S – Doesn't.
R – Stop right there! Last time you two got into one of these little debates you wasted 2 ½ sheets of parchment!
J – You're quite right Moony.
S – Doesn't.
R – Padfoot…
S – Sorry…I'll be good.
J – Oh that's funny.
S – What, you don't think I can behave?
R – No.
J – I'd actually go with bloody heck no.
R – So Prongs, about my 5 Sickles…
J – OK Moony, I'm just going to come right out and be honest with you. I'm broke.
S – That's such a lie.
J – It is not! My parents stopped sending me money after that last owl from McGonagall!
S – Haha! No money for Prongs!
J – What are you laughing at Padfoot? They stopped sending you money too!
S – True, but I have other resources.
J – And those other resources would be…?
S – Hey Moony, can I borrow 5 Sickles?
R – No.
S – Unreliable.
J – Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's face it. We're all poor.
R – I prefer the term economically challenged.
S – And I prefer the term Moony stop using big words!
R – You know what economically means!
S – Yeah…I know.
Long awkward silence
S – Guys? Hello? Did you DIE?
J – Yes.
R – This isn't Heaven, Prongs.
J – True…and if it is, it's a scary place.
S – Yeah, it vaguely reminds me of our History class.
R – How strange. That couldn't possibly be because this is our History class, could it?
S – No, that would be too logical.
J – Wow, we really need to get out of this room.
R – I second that.
S – Hey Prongs! I just got a great idea!
J – What?
S – Go jump out the window!
J – Now that would be stupid.
S – Yeah, but it'd also be funny.
J – For you.
S – And I know that your sole reason for living is to keep me entertained. So what are you waiting for?
J – Moony, can you be of some assistance to me NOW?
R – I'm afraid I'm going to have to side with Padfoot on this one.
J – You both are so cruel.
S – Would you jump if Lily said she would go out with you?
J – Show me the window!
S – Hey Lily! We're trying to convince James to jump out the window.
L – I would give anything to see Potter jump out a window.
R – Well, there's a tiny catch.
L – Let me guess, I have to agree to go out with him.
S – Been studying up on Divination, huh Lils?
L – Something like that.
R – So, will you agree?
L – I would, but I have no guarantee that he would die.
S – Wow, that's cold.
R – We better not show this to Prongs. It would break his heart.
L – Stop trying to play the guilt card boys. It won't work. And why do you call him Prongs anyway?
S – Maybe if you went out with James, you would find out.
L – I'm not that curious.
S – Well, will you at least tell him that you'll go out with him so that he'll do it?
R – Yeah, you can even cross your fingers behind your back so it doesn't matter if you're lying.
S – That's so heartless! My little Remmy's finally growing up…
R – Shove it, Sirius.
S – Ouch.
R – So Lily, are you in?
L – I would be, but the bell is about to ring.
S – No it's no-
Bell