TITLE: Odysseus
AUTHOR: Mnemosyne

Disclaimer: They aren't mine!
SUMMARY: No one can say what tomorrow will bring.
RATING: PG-13
SPOILERS: Through "Till Death Do Us Part," part 2
CHARACTERS: Kid/Lou
NOTES:
I couldn't resist. My obsession has become too great, and I had to fic. LOL! I'm going to have to beg you to please be gentle with me, though. This is my first Young Riders fic ever. On top of that, I haven't actually seen an episode of the series in at least ten years, so I'm really just running on memory and what I've gleaned from fanfics and episode synopses around the 'net. sweating nervously Man I hope I don't screw this up – Kid/Lou are my second earliest OTP, after only Han/Leia. Screwing them up would be like cutting off my right hand! So please, cross your fingers and dive in:)

The room was blue. Lou thought that was pretty fitting, given the latter events of the morning. She and Kid had burned through the candles and the fire in the hearth, and now their warm golden glow was gone, replaced with chilly, moonlit blue.

Kid was curled up behind her, his hand idly stroking her belly, and she knew he wasn't asleep. She wondered if her restiveness was keeping him awake, then quashed the thought as ridiculous. For one, she'd barely moved in the last hour, and for two, Kid had a heart the size of an ocean. If he'd been able to sleep, she'd have had to rethink the moral fiber of the man she'd married.

"Kid?" she murmured to the empty air in front of her.

"Yeah, Lou?"

She closed her eyes, immediately feeling half her worries melt away. Why hadn't she tried talking to him sooner? His voice always soothed her nerves. "Nothin'," she murmured, eyes drifting open again as she laced her fingers with his atop her stomach. "Just wanted to hear your voice is all. It's too quiet in here."

Kid sighed, and she felt the warm exhalation against the back of her neck as he shifted closer. Soft lips touched her shoulder. "Miss the bunkhouse already?" he teased gently.

Lou managed a small smile over her shoulder at him. The blue of the room made his eyes glow. "Not yet," she said with a wink, then turned back to the front, sobering again. "Just keep getting tangled up inside my head. Too much to think on."

Kid's hand disengaged from hers, coasting up her body to stroke her hair. "Not all bad I hope," he murmured, curling a few unruly tresses behind her ear.

Lou shivered as his fingers sent pleasant tingles through her scalp and down her spine. "Definitely not all bad," she assured him.

"Glad to hear it." He kissed her shoulder again.

Lou chewed her lip for a moment before continuing. "It's just..." She trailed off, glanced nervously over her shoulder, then gave up and turned around completely until they were eye to eye and she could cuddle against his chest. His arm automatically looped around her waist.

"Kid, do you believe in omens?" she asked, eyes downcast as she watched her fingers crisscross anxiously over his strong abdomen.

"How do you mean?" he asked, sounding confused. "Like, if you see a crow the day you plant your corn, it means you're going to have a bad harvest?"

"Yeah," she affirmed with a shrug, not looking up. "Sorta."

"Why?"

"Well... do you think... what happened today.. might've been one?" She immediately regretted saying it, and when she glanced up to find him looking more confused than ever, she wanted to twist her tongue in a knot for sounding so silly. "Forget it, pretend I never said anything, it was dumb."

"What made you ask?" he questioned, in that infuriating tone of his that meant he wasn't going to let the matter rest.

Lou reminded herself she'd just married that tone because she loved the man behind it. Sighing heavily, she rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling, Kid's arm draped over her stomach. "Those boys died, Kid," she said, unblinking. "Michael died right there in front of us." Tilting her head to the side, she found his blue eyes watching her. "You can't tell me that don't mean somethin', Kid. You can't tell me that doesn't speak a world of hurt. This should've been the happiest day of our lives, but I just keep wantin' to cry. What's tomorrow gonna be like after all this today?"

Kid's thumb was idly gliding up and down over her ribs, and Lou felt herself relaxing despite her worry. His calloused palm felt good cradled in the dip of her waist. "Can't tell you, Lou," he murmured after a moment's quiet contemplation. "I don't think there're many people who could tell you what tomorrow's going to be like, even without a war on."

"What about us?" she asked, voice husky. She wanted to clear her throat to drive away the emotional rasp that had settled at the top of her larynx, but couldn't bring herself to break the stillness. "What's all this mean for us, Kid?"

He watched her quietly for a minute before a slow, shimmering grin spread across his face. "It means we're man and wife, Lou," he reminded her, eyes twinkling. "We got married, remember?"

Despite her anxiety, Lou felt a smile twitch her lips. "Stop it, you," she protested, whacking him tenderly on the shoulder. "I'm bein' serious."

Kid responded by curling his arm up and pulling her closer so he could press his lips to her temple. "So'm I," he said next to her ear. "I am so damn proud to be married to you, Louise." He dropped a soft kiss on the corner of her mouth. "I love you."

Lou felt fresh tears prick at her eyes at the confession. "Love you, too," she murmured.

They lay quietly side by side, each drawing comfort from the other's presence. Lou wondered what it was like for the rest of the Riders who didn't have a Kid or a Lou to hold them tonight. It seemed impossible to believe that once upon a time she'd been one of those Riders, huddled in her bunk alone, praying no one learned her secret; praying that Kid would keep his big, protective trap shut and play along with her ruse. She felt a twinge of shame that she'd ever doubted him. Kid was hardly perfect, but he was a perfect gentleman; he'd never share a lady's secrets. He was the ideal Southern beau, despite his rough and woolly road through life.

A pang of something hot and painful poked at the lump in her throat, and she swallowed down tears. "Cody's gonna be leaving," she murmured into the silence.

"Yeah," Kid breathed on a tired exhale.

"Noah'd be gone, too, if they'd let him."

"I know."

"And Jimmy-"

"Where are you going with this, Lou?" He didn't speak harshly, but his voice was lined with exhaustion. It had been a long day in every sense of the word.

Without a sound, she carefully shifted onto her side to face him. "Say you're not leavin', Kid," she murmured, nose brushing nose, her fingers resting on his hip.

"Where would I go, Lou?" he asked softly.

"Don't act like you don't know." Lou shook her head faintly, eyes trained on his lips. "Don't ever. Don't try to make me believe you ain't still thinkin' about it, 'specially after what you saw today. I know you too well for that."

"Lou-"

"Problem with you, Kid," she cut him off gently, raising her hand to lay her fingers over his lips to keep him quiet, "is you got this thing for rescuing things you love. It's kind of what makes you tick. Havin' been on the receivin' end a fair share of times myself, I have to say it's not the worst thing in the world."

Letting out a shaky sigh, she drew her hand away from his lips and leaned forward, wrapping her arm around his neck and pressing her face into his throat. "But it ain't just people you like to save, Kid," she whispered, holding him tightly. "I've always said you got more ideals than brains."

Kid's hand rubbed up and down her back; long, powerful strokes along the curve of her spine. "I don't recall you ever saying that to my face," he mused softly.

"Don't change the subject," Lou murmured, unswayed by his play at humor. "Say it, Kid." She kissed his Adam's apple and pressed closer. "Say you're not leavin'. Tell me you ain't leavin' me here alone."

"I love you, Lou, you know that."

"That ain't what I'm askin'."

Kid sighed and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "There is no power in this world or the next that'd keep me away from you, Louise," he whispered near her ear.

Lou let out a soft, hopeless laugh and drew her head back so she could gaze into his eyes. "You still haven't said it," she said with a small, self-derisive smile. "You still haven't said you're gonna stay. You're not gonna say it, are you?"

His stubborn silence was all the answer she needed. Kid never could lie to her.

"I don't want to watch you ride off, Kid," she whispered, ashamed of how broken she sounded. "I only just got you all to myself. It ain't fair, thinkin' of them gettin' you so easy, when it was so hard for the two of us to finally get here." Swallowing hard, she cupped his cheek, blinking and sending a couple of tears slipping down her cheeks. She ignored them.

"Lou..." With a quiet sigh, he drew her close, rolling onto his back and pulling her with him until she was stretched out on top of him. Cupping her face between his hands, he looked her straight in the eyes and said, "Didn't I just tell you nothing's gonna keep me away from you? You think I was lying? You know I can't lie to you."

He kissed her, hard and fervent and fast, leaving her breathless as he pulled back again.

"I can't tell you I'm not gonna leave, Lou," he told her truthfully, still holding her face. "I can't tell you because I don't know, and I ain't gonna risk breaking a promise to you. I already told you once, no one knows what tomorrow's gonna bring. I don't believe in omens. I believe in this." He ran the fingers of one hand through her short, ringleted hair, and gave her one of those devastating smiles that always turned her legs to jelly. "I believe in us. So you can trust me, Lou, when I tell you that I may not know where I'm gonna go, but I know where I'll end up."

Sliding his hands down her arms and looping them around her back, he raised his head and kissed her again. This time he didn't go hard and fast, but slow and oh so gentle; it turned Lou's head to cotton and her skin butter soft. When he pulled away a minute later, she didn't even know she was panting until he asked her, "You know where that is, right?"

Lou nodded, still dazed from his kiss.

"Why don't you tell me?" he asked, gently stroking her hip.

"Tell you...?"

"Where'm I gonna end up?" He smiled winsomely. "You oughta know the answer to this one."

She blushed, feeling her face heat up. "With me," she murmured.

"Yep." He kissed her shoulder as a reward. "And you know why that is?" Another kiss to the opposite shoulder, and then around a bigger smile, "You know the answer to this one, too."

Lou let herself settle down on top of him. "Because you love me," she whispered, watching her fingers comb lightly through the mesh of hair on his chest.

"More and more every day," Kid affirmed, kissing the top of her head.

The quiet closed around them once more, and Lou found herself drifting through the mazes and pitfalls inside her own head again. Kid was the romantic type. It was endearing and sweet and one of the things she loved so much about him, but it scared her, too. The school of hard knocks had taught Lou the importance of pragmatism, realism, and when necessary, pessimism. Kid's natural pride and innate optimism would have him marching off to war like Odysseus, with the promise that one day he'd come home. But where did that leave Penelope? At home alone in a cold, hard bed for twenty years, forced to keep his memory alive when everyone believed him dead. Kid was willing to leave her because he believed, heart and soul, that he'd be back. Lou was equally unwilling to let him go because she believed, heart and soul, that even well-intentioned men with sensitive hearts and high ideals could be killed by a lead ball between the eyes.

"Don't leave me, Kid," she murmured, breaking the silence. "I don't care where that road wants to take you. All I know is all roads lead away, and I don't fancy the sight of your back being the last memory of you I get to hold onto for however long this damned war lasts." She kissed his throat.

"Don't leave me, Kid," she whispered. "I don't want to be a widow 'fore I even get to be a wife."

When her only answer was his slow, steady breathing, she knew he was asleep. Probably didn't hear a word of it, she thought ruefully, rubbing her cheek against his chest and staring out the window at the quiet town spread out below. Nothing was moving. Everyone had holed up for the night, as if hibernating could somehow make today's tragedies disappear.

Lou closed her eyes and listened to Kid's heartbeat; strong and deliberate, just like the man himself. That was her Kid; always clear thought before action. And it was that kind of deliberative thinking that was going to think him straight back to Virginia.

She listened to his heartbeat, his strong, deliberate heartbeat, and found she couldn't sleep a wink.

THE END