Chapter 3
Marc gazed out over the ramparts at Mossflower Woods. The late afternoon sun made the young mouse feel indolent and tired, and quite different from his usual, restless self. He watched as the butterflies drifted lazily from blossom to blossom, and breathed in deep the smell of the woods - a rich, woody aroma, with hints of damp earth and an overtone of pine.
Marc was startled out of his respite by footsteps coming from the dusty path that wound its way past the abbey walls. He looked down to see two beasts, an otter and a squirrel, jauntily making their way down the path. The mouse hailed them, grinning.
"Ahoy there, Sprague! Heya, Kaelem! I take it you would like entry?"
Sprague looked up at Marc, the squirrel's grin equally wide. "Aye, we would! Especially if there's a bit of grub to be found inside this abbey!"
Marc dashed off down to the gates, calling behind him, "Hang on – I'll open the gates for you!" He jumped the last few steps and just barely avoided running into the hogwife Eilis.
"Now, now, Marc, where are you running off to in such a hurry?" she asked him kindly.
"To let in Sprague and Kaelem! They're both outside!" Marc ran off, leaving Eilis muttering to herself,
"Sprague and Kaelem? Dearie me, I'll have to tell Friar Leavitt to prepare food for a two more… actually, it's more like four more; the way those two eat, you'd think they'd survived a ten-season famine!" She bustled off to the kitchens to warn the friar.
Meanwhile, Marc had unbolted the main gates and allowed the otter and the squirrel to enter. Kaelem, the otter, looked around hopefully.
"Lunch wouldn't happen to still be on the tables, would it?" he inquired politely.
Marc laughed, "We finished lunch hours ago! Do you ever think of anything but food?"
"Well we're both pretty hungry, what with the traveling, having adventures and whatnot," explained Sprague.
"You great famine-fetchers!" Marc teased. "We're having dinner in an hour – why don't you go down to the kitchens and see if you can help out?"
Immediately the two travelers dashed off, all politeness forgotten. The mouse chuckled as he followed them in a leisurely manner.
Inside the kitchen, pandemonium reigned. Upon hearing that Sprague and Kaelem were going to be eating dinner at Redwall, Friar Leavitt had begun preparing food like mad. He and his helpers had been in the middle of putting together a large potato-squash-turnip pie when the aforementioned two had come to a screeching halt next to the fat friar.
"Evenin', friar. How can I be of assistance?" said the ever-polite Sprague, his paw straying towards a large bowl of meadowcream. The friar whacked him sharply with his ladle, only to turn and see Kaeleb snatching candied chestnuts from the countertop. He swung his ladle, but it was nimbly dodged by the spry otter, who pranced over to the piemakers and began offering his expert advice.
"Chaps an' chappesses, allow me to help you. You need to use at least twice as much of every ingredient," he said grabbing a pail of chopped potatoes and handing to the mouse on his right. "Here, dump these in – that's the ticket; no need to be shy, now – add in just as much squash. Ahoy there, Friar, we needs some more dough over here; this here pie's overflowing."
Marc laughed so hard his sides hurt. Now Sprague was trying to help the friar make a woodland pudding. He alternatively scoffed ingredients and dodged the friar's ladle, all the while giving advice.
"You need more fresh pears in that mix, sir. It'll be too thin otherwise."
"I'll give you fresh pears… fresh pairs of bumps on your head!" The friar swung his ladle at Sprague, who leapt nimbly aside, and, snatching a slice of honeyed apple, continued with his instructions.
"Add a touch more honey to the bowl – oh, never mind, I'll do it. Yowch!" Friar Leavitt had finally managed to land a hit on the outrageous squirrel.
"Leave that honey be; I need it for the apple crumble!" he demanded, snatching the honey jar back and placing it on a shelf. The squirrel, upon hearing about the apple crumble, immediately began spewing apologies.
"Well, chap, why didn't ya say so? Why, I never would've filched the honey if'n I'd known that a crumble was depending on it! By the way, I'm excellent at making crumbles – perhaps you should let me make it…"
The friar was saved from having to answer by the appearance of a large badgermum in the doorway. "What's all the arguing down here about?" She then spied Kaelem and Sprague, who looked like dibbuns caught in the act of stealing a pie. "Why if it isn't you two little rascals! I should've known." She turned to the friar. "Are these two ruffians bothering you?" she asked in mock-severity.
The friar scowled at the offenders, and replied, "Yes indeed. Quite a bit actually, Mother Alda. Could you please take them out of my fur – otherwise I shan't be able to finish dinner."
Upon hearing those words, however, the squirrel and the otter dashed from the room, yelling, "We won't bother you no more, Friar! Finish dinner quick now!"
Dinner was a joyful affair. The friar and his helpers brought in dish after steaming dish of delicious foods – woodland salads, pasties, pies, leek and potato soup, and hot, oven baked bread. There were three separate types of cheeses, and Gardo, the resident cellarhog, had rolled in some of his best drinks – October ale, elderberry wine, and sparkling dandelion cordial, a great favorite of the dibbuns.
The good-natured banter around the table somehow led to a friendly argument between Kaelem and the mole Thurmull.
"Are you saying that you think you could eat more than I could, matey?" asked the otter indignantly.
"That'ns not wot I'as a'sayin, but I a'wager that I'm could do it, bo hurr!" replied the mole, laying down his fork and facing Kaelem.
"Well, then, matey… let's have a face off! C'mon, let's go!" The otter stood up and addressed the hall. "Mates, Thurmull here thinks that he can out-eat me! Let's have ourselves a contest!"
Immediately the contestant's table was cleared away. A server brought out a stack of potato pasties and pies, declaring, "Whomever eats the most wins!" With loud cheers, the contest began. Thurmull began shoveling down pies like there was no tomorrow. Sprague looked at the mole and remarked to his pal,
"Wow, Thurmull can really eat! You'd best get started, mate!" He looked down to see Kaelem tossing everything within reach into his mouth. When it was too full to fit any more food, the otter began the slow process of chewing up the massive bulge of food in between his cheeks. He swallowed, and immediately drank down an entire flask of October ale.
The contest continued for another five minutes or so, until both contestants were so full that the most they could do was to lie back in their chairs with their mouths open and groan. Sprague counted the empty platters, and pronounced that the two beasts had consumed the same amount of scoff. This pronouncement was greeted with cheers and laughter, followed by a wish for Sprague to entertain them. He obliged and, performing a somersault, began to sing.
If I had a log for a son,
I'd say, 'well I'd rather have none.'
And I'd pray, and I'd say, and I'd dance all day,
Just to play with a big grey sleigh!
If I had a log for my food,
I'd say that it was rather rude.
And I'd pray, and I'd say, and I'd dance all day,
Just to play with a big grey sleigh!
Oh!
Apple pies and big fruit flies,
And damson cream and silent streams,
With a giant cherry on top!
If I had a log for my bed,
I think that I'd be filled with dread,
And I'd pray, and I'd say, and I'd dance all day,
Just to play with a big grey sleigh!
If I had a log for a house,
I'd call for a big strong mouse,
And I'd pray, and I'd say and I'd dance all day,
Just to play with a big grey sleigh!
Oh!
Apple pies and big fruit flies,
And damson cream and silent streams,
With a giant cherry on top!
Sprague took a bow, which was greeted with wild cheers and applause. He returned to his seat and promptly began chowing down on meadowcream pudding.
Later that night, after much laughter and merriment, when the dibbuns had been put to bed and the fire was burning low in the hearth, Sprague and Kaelem related the curious find that they had made.
"We weren't far from the abbey, and we were anxious to get here, as we had run out of vittles," began Kaelem. Sprague interrupted him.
"When we came upon… a dead stoat."
Everybeast looked up, their interest caught.
"He looked like he had been injured some time ago, and had just then died," said Kaelem in a somber tone. "Needless to say, we didn't stick around. However, something that he was carrying intrigued us." Kaelem pulled out a sheet of paper. Everyone gathered around to look at it. It read thus:
Make your way to the place of bells,
Away from the place of shells,
There you will find your next clue,
Under the thing that was made by you.
Look behind the RAT TO RIP,
Only on the bottom-left tip.
There you shall find your next clue,
Bringing AS TIMBERLAND closer to you.
There was silence after everyone had read the sheet. They were all pondering this mysterious riddle. Marc broke the silence.
"Well, it's obviously talking about Redwall," he said.
"How do you know?" asked Mother Alda quickly, giving Marc her full attention. The others followed suit.
"Well," began Marc, pointing at the first two lines, "It ways to go to the 'place of bells.' Where else but Redwall are there bells?" He let them ponder that for a moment before continuing. "Also, it says to go away from the 'place of shells,' which has to be the ocean. So, if you go away from the ocean, then you're going east, towards Redwall!"
"That's all well and good," said the friar, "but what about the rest of the riddle, about 'rat to rip' and 'as timberland'?"
"I think I may have figured out the rat to rip part," said the badgermum. "If you rearrange the letters in 'rat to rip,' you can get 'trio trap.' That might mean that it's a trap for three people!"
"You're right about one thing, Mother," said Kaelem excitedly, "but you're wrong about the other. The word is supposed to be unscrambled. But it isn't trio trap. It's portrait!"
Everyone stared at each other, mouthing the same words. "Portrait of Martin the Warrior!"