Blue
Part
II: The Light
By solarhalfbreed
It's been three years. Three long, painful years.
I'd be lying if I said I've moved on. I cried myself to sleep for a good year after it happened; I still do, occasionally. Sometimes I'll see something that reminds me of him - and no matter how insignificant, it brings a tear to my eye.
Sometimes I'll see something and the first thing that pops into my head is "Tolle would love this". Sometimes I'll turn around to tell him before I realize he's not there.
He would have wanted me to move on. I know he would have hoped I'd find someone new to love. He doesn't want me to be alone. But I know there will be no replacement for him.
I don't believe I am alone.
I believe he is with me all the time. Watching over me, like a guardian angel. I believe when I laugh, he laughs with me. When I cry, he cries for me. When I smile, he smiles at me.
I believe he still loves me. I hope he still loves me, because I still love him. I always will.
I know he's in Heaven. I believe I'll meet him there when I die. I hope he's waiting for me there.
Sometimes I imagine that on clear days I can see straight into Heaven. If there's even a patch of blue sky, I'll look at it, and imagine he's looking down on me.
I smile and reach my hand out to the blue, and I can almost see him reaching down to me. It's our promise that we'll be together again one day in Paradise. And with that, I am happy.
I know I'm not alone.
"There
has never been a day
when
I remembered you
because
there's never been a time
when
I've ever forgotten you."
-Ayumi
Hamasaki