I am, so so so so so sorry. I know I said Sunday and I do realize it's Wednesday. I didn't get a chance to start writing this until Monday. Well anyways, here it is. I really hope you like it. And to answer your questions:
aquamarineangel-Irish twins is the term used for siblings who are nine months apart. So Haley and Brooke aren't really twins, Haley is nine months younger then Brooke is.
TutorGurl-Don't worry, you didn't miss anything. It hasn't been revealed who hit Haley yet. Right now it's left out in the open as to who hit her. But it will be revealed soon.
But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
Sunday morning rain is falling and I'm calling out to you
Singing someday it'll bring me back to you
Find a way to bring myself back home to you
April 16th, 2005. Perhaps the most dreaded day in the James household. This year it fell on a Sunday, a dark and rainy Sunday for that matter. The rain fell from the sky, falling hard on the cement pavement outside. Their mother used to tell them the rain meant that the angels were crying. But crying over what? It rained that night when their parents died, their 'tears,' took two innocent lives, leaving four children parentless.
Brooke sighed and slammed the alarm button off. She glanced at the clock and rolled her eyes when she saw it was only seven o'clock. The mass started at 9, she needed two hours to motivate herself to get up and get ready.
"Haley," Brooke began, gently shaking her sister, "time to get up."
Haley simply moaned and rolled over, shoving a pillow over her head. She wasn't ready to face this day, no one was. "Haley," Brooke groaned, pulling the pillow off her sister.
"If I sleep long enough, this day will be over," Haley replied a few minutes later, sitting up. "I don't want to go," She bit her lip and watched as Brooke bit her nail.
"Neither do I, but we have to. I don't think Mom and Dad would appreciate us missing their anniversary mass."
Haley sighed. She knew it was true. But going to this mass was going to make her worst nightmare a reality. Her parents have been gone for five years today, with no hope of ever returning. "I know," she mustered out with another small sigh.
"I'm going to get ready, do you want to shower first?" Brooke asked in a grim tone. Haley shook her head and motioned for her sister to go first.
"It's going to be okay," Brooke added in, pulling her sister into a small hug. Haley held her tight and quickly wiped away the stray tear that fell down her cheek. Brooke broke away from the embrace and headed out the door.
Once into the bathroom, she shut the door and stared at herself in the mirror. Her reflection seemed like nothing was wrong. There stood a beautiful, young woman with gorgeous brown hair and beautiful hazel eyes. The truth was she hid behind a mask, an ugly mask that made her seem so flawless and carefree. But she had flaws, many of them. She was superficial at times and a tad on the egotistical side. Call her a bitch if you want, but she'll just tell you she speaks the truth.
Her sister on the other hand was the polar opposite. She was shy, innocent, and naïve, a dreamer to put it lightly. Her face was always buried in a textbook and she earned karma points by tutoring other students. Her weekends consisted of studying and sitting in her room alone, questioning her existence in this crazy thing called the world.
Brooke shook her head, desperate to rid her head of these thoughts. She quickly turned the water on and watched as the steam filled the room, fogging up the mirror.
Knowing that she couldn't hide in the shower forever, she finally got out and was ready to face the day that lies ahead of her. She threw on her bathrobe and headed towards her room, showing no courtesy what so ever towards Taylor, who was fast asleep in her bed.
She rummaged through her closest in hopes of finding something appropriate to wear. She didn't think God would appreciate it at if she showed up to his house in a tiny low cut halter top and hip hugger jeans that barely fit around her small waist.
"What are you doing?" Taylor's sleepy voice came from behind the closet door.
Brooke continued to fish through her closet, ignoring her sister completely. Taylor watched as numerous articles of clothing flailed about the room, most of them finding their way onto the floor. "Brooke!" Taylor yelled, hoping to snap her sister out of this daze she was in.
"What?" Brooke bitched, her head appearing from behind the door.
"What are you doing?" Taylor simply asked, letting out a small laugh that made Brooke roll her eyes.
"I'm trying to find something to wear, what does it look like I'm doing?" Brooke snapped, her head disappearing into the closet again. Taylor sighed and walked over to her sister.
"Thanks for waking me up, I would of preferred a normal wake up, but thank you." Taylor's voice was sarcastic, but there was a hint of thankfulness to it.
"Whatever," Brooke mumbled, finally settling on something to wear. She took it off her closet and walked out, Taylor quickly behind her.
"Look, Brooke," She began, grabbing her sisters arm in an effort to stop her, "I'm sorry, okay? I went too far and made a complete ass out of myself. So I'm sorry."
Brooke looked at her sister and was silent for a minute. "I'm not the one you should be apologizing to." She whispered, walking away and into Haley's bedroom.
Taylor sighed. It was going to be a long day, a long day indeed. She saw Haley appear out of her room and practically run into the bathroom when she had caught a glimpse of her.
"Great," Taylor mumbled, going back into Brooke's room, collapsing on the bed. "I bet you're both enjoying this," She said, looking at the ceiling. "Your oldest daughter screwing up again. Too bad you're not here to witness it."
At exactly 9 o'clock the mass had gotten under way. Father Madden, who had done the funeral mass, stood at the altar and watched as the last few seats of the church filled. Everyone in Tree Hill knew Jimmy and Lydia James. Even if you were a stranger, they would always find someway to make you feel welcome in their house.
"We are gathered here today in remembrance of Mr. and Mrs. Jimmy James." Father Madden said, gently turning around to look at the picture that was hung up behind him. Brooke felt Haley's body tighten up beside her. She grabbed her hand and squeezed it lightly. She knew she was nervous about making her speech. Every year, each of them made a speech about their parents, except Taylor of course, she wasn't around much then.
After the priest finished his speech, he gestured for Haley to come up. She took a deep breath and pulled her hand away from Brooke's. She walked to the altar and peered out at the large crowd. She spotted Lucas sitting with Karen and Andy, Peyton sitting with her father and Jake, a couple cheerleaders from the squad and a few teachers from her school. She was shocked to see Nathan sitting there with his parents. She just figured they had made him come today.
She took a deep breath and steadied her hands so she could read the paper in front of her.
"Well, um, I just want to thank you all for coming today, it means a lot to us. I don't really have much to say; even if I did it wouldn't make sense to most of you. My parents, well my parents weren't saints." She started off with, the crowd let out a little laugh, which made Haley relax a bit. "Although they probably thought they were." She laughed a bit and took another deep breath. "All these years I've tried to come to terms with their death. For a while I blamed myself for their passing. I mean they were on their way to pick me up from piano lessons. But then I realized, and then I realized I had to stop blaming myself for this.
My sister said something that made me think. She told me the death of my parent's proves only the good die young. At first I couldn't quite grasp the concept of that quote. If only the good die young, why couldn't it of been me? I didn't even want to go to piano that day, I was too tired from school. But my parents had paid all this money for me to go and they weren't going to sit back and watch me give up on something that I loved. And then came the accident." Haley stopped to regain her train of thought, biting her lip in an effort to stop the tears that formed in her eyes. "Sorry...I think it would kill them to find out their youngest child has given up on piano lessons. I couldn't bring myself to go back there, I kept thinking anyone who would come and pick me up would end up dying.
I felt like I was cursed. I lost most of my friends that year my parent's died. I became a sob story and no one wanted to be around that, not even my own family." Haley continued to talk as Brooke felt tears stream down her eyes.
"I became a sob story and no one wanted to be around that, not even my own family." It felt like a large truck had just hit her. She always assumed it was her fault for making Haley the way she was. Now the assumption became a reality, she's the one who had broken Haley in two, not her parents.
Brooke looked up and noticed Haley was sitting at the piano that was carefully placed on the red carpet up on the altar.
"Brooke," Taylor's voice snapped her back into reality. Brooke looked up at her with tear eyes. She was surprised to see Taylor crying. "Brooke, I'm sorry." Brooke nodded and simply fell into her sister's arms again. She rested her head on Taylor's chest and watched as Haley began to play-something she hadn't done in at least three years.
"I wrote this song for my parent's a while back. I hope you like it," Haley whispered, taking a deep breath.
I Found myself today
Oh I found myself and ran away
Something pulled me back
The voice of reason I forgot I had
All I know is you're not here to say
What you always used to say
But it's written in the sky tonight
People watched in awe as the young girl's voice went from a barely audible whisper to an amazing singing voice.
So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
Someone's watching over me
Seen that ray of light
And it's shining on my destiny
Shining all the time
And I wont be afraid
To follow everywhere it's taking me
All I know is yesterday is gone
And right now I belong
To this moment to my dreams
So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
Someone's watching over me
It doesn't matter what people say
And it doesn't matter how long it takes
Believe in yourself and you'll fly high
And it only matters how true you are
Be true to yourself and follow your heart
So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
That I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even when it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
That someone's watching over
Someone's watching over
Someone's watching over me
As the last line of the song approached, Haley closed her eyes and raised her head towards the ceiling. Taking her hands off the piano keys, she whispered into the microphone:
Someone's watching over me.
A small smile crept upon her face as the watched the people get up out of their seats and clap. Even Nathan Scott and his dumb friend Tim Smith were taking aback. Haley smiled and went back to the front pew and sat down next to Brooke.
"That was amazing, Haley," Brooke said as they walked out of the church.
"Thank you," Haley whispered, linking arms with her sister. Various people from behind them came up to comment Haley.
"Your parent's would be proud, I know I am," Karen said, giving Haley a hug. Lucas was next. He practically smothered Haley as his big arms wrapped around her tiny body.
"Don't kill her Broody!" Brooke commented, prying Haley away from Lucas' arms. He laughed and did the same to her, she squealed in delight. Haley stepped away from the two lovebirds and walked over to her brother, who was currently talking to Father Madden.
He smiled when he saw her. "Haley, that was absolutely wonderful." Father Madden said with a smile. "You should be proud of yourself." He excused himself and walked over to some of the other guests.
"I never knew you could sing, Haley." Mike exclaimed, giving his sister a hug.
Haley shrugged. "I don't usually sing in public or to other people. But I felt like this was different, like they were watching."
Mike smiled. "I bet they were," He said, gently rubbing her arm.
J.J.+L.J.
You'll be forever in our hearts
Brooke felt her stomach turn as she stared at the gray headstone in front of her. It had been five years ago to this day since she last visited. She always watched as Haley went with her brother after the previous year anniversary masses, but she always stayed home, she couldn't find the strength to go. But this year, this year it was different. This year Haley and her brother stayed home while she went all by herself. She didn't care though. She would rather be there alone, it would be easier to get it all off her chest without anyone there.
She gently kneeled down In front of the headstone and sighed. She ran her thumb over the inscripted letters and frowned at the cheesy poem below their initials. It wasn't much, but it was all they could afford at the time.
"Hi, it's me, Brooke," she started off with in a shaky voice. "I, I know I haven't been here in a while and I'm so sorry. I just couldn't bring myself to come. But, before I start, I wanted to read something I wrote for you a few days after you died."
Brooke fished through her denim jacket and took out a neatly folded white piece of paper. Her hands shook as she started to read the lyrics:
Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothing' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
The tears poured down her cheeks as she continued to read, her body trembling.
Swallow me then spit me out
for hating you, I blame myself
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...
"I never meant to hate you," She sobbed, resting her head on her knees, "I never meant to say that to you before you left. I was, I was just mad. And I know I said I never wanted to talk to you again and that I wanted you out of my life. It was all bullshit, all bullshit. I hated the fact you could find a way for Haley to have piano lessons but you couldn't find a way to buy me new clothes. I know money was tight with Mike being in college, but I wanted a few new clothes. I was sick of wearing Taylor's hand me downs.
And now, now that I look back on it, I hate myself for doing this to you even. I know I was a handful and that I probably screwed up your lives for a while, but I never, ever meant to cause you any pain. I never meant for Taylor to run away like she did. But it was my fault she left, all my fault. I drove her away with my complete bitterness. Mike barely speaks to me anymore, and when he does he's seeing what's happened with Haley or how Lucas is doing. Lucas. You remember Lucas, don't you?
We've been dating for about a year now. And I'm afraid if I keep going the way I am, I'll lose him too, and I can't afford to lose another person. And Haley. God, Haley is so broken. I never meant to hurt her either. But, she's broken inside without you here. She's like a porcelain doll; if you touch her she's bound to break. She's having a lot of problems and she won't talk to me about any of them. I know someone is beating her up, but I don't know who it is. Sad, isn't it? I'm supposed to be her big sister and protect her. Jesus Christ, I can't even do that.
It tears me apart when I hear her cry herself to sleep every night. Most nights she can't even sleep on her own, she needs someone there to comfort here after she's had some horrible dream about your accident."
At this point, Brooke had cried herself out. She was sick of crying over people who would never be coming back. Without even thinking, she took her hand and slightly hit the gravestone.
"Why did you have to die? Huh? You left us all alone, with barely any money to make it for a while. Mike almost had to drop out of school to make the mortgage on our house. Taylor, well who the fuck knows where Taylor went. And who gives a shit. She's running from something, and I'm going to find out. I'm going to find out who hit Haley and kill them with my bare hands. And I'm going to stop pretending it's okay you're gone. Because it's not. You left me all alone here, with no one to blame but myself. Haley blames herself for your death. And who knows, maybe it is her fault. But I will never let her know that.
No, you know what? It's not anyone's fault except yourself. You forced Haley to go to piano that day even though you were advised to stay indoors. Are you two stupid? I guess so... Well anyways I never meant for this to be a bitch session. I wanted to tell you how much I miss you but if I do that then I'll end up bawling my eyes out, and the last thing I want to do is cry. So have a nice afterlife, and I'll see you soon someday."
Brooke ended on a bitter tone, but she didn't care. She was too broken inside to cry. She bit her lip in an effort to stop the tears from flowing down her cheeks.
"Brooke, is that you?" Came Haley's surprised voice from behind her. Brooke quickly wiped her eyes and put her hands over her face as Haley shined the flashlight on her.
"You caught me," Haley rolled her eyes at Brooke's sarcastic tone. She wrapped the blanket she had on her tighter.
"What are you doing here?'
Brooke shrugged and bit her lip. "Uh, I just came-,"
"To talk to them?" Haley said, finishing her sentence. Brooke nodded and sat down, Haley soon following suite. "I do that too."
"How did you know I was here?" Brooke asked as Haley rested her head on her shoulder.
"Because I'm a crazed stalker." Haley replied in a mock-serious tone. Brooke rolled her eyes.
"Haley, I'm serious."
"Honestly? I didn't know you were going to be here. I just came here on my own, thinking I'd be the only one here. No one really comes to visit them except for me. I know they're dead and everything, but they can get lonely too. You see that woman over there?" Haley said, pointing to an elderly woman who was placing flowers on a headstone across the graveyard. "She comes here everyday around the same time I do. Sometimes she leaves flowers for Mom and Dad. Her son died in a car accident thirty years ago, yet his memory still lives on through her. So that's why I come here just about everyday because I don't want them to be forgotten."
Brooke smiled at her sister and rested her head on top of Haley's. "You're amazing, you know that?"
Haley smiled. "Thanks, Brooke. You're not too bad yourself."
Brooke laughed, but remained silent for a few minutes.
"Hales, I'm sorry."
Haley looked up at her in confusion. "For what?"
Brooke shrugged and looked away. "For not being there for you when you need it? For letting my 'friends' make fun of you. For making up the nickname tutor girl." She could go on, but Haley had stopped her.
"Brooke, you don't need to worry about that. Although it may not look it, I am a strong person, I'm just not good with controlling my emotions like you. If anything, I should be apologizing to you. I know I can be annoying at sometimes, and a pain in the ass, but I'm not going to apologize for that one, it's comes with being your little sister."
Brooke laughed and pulled Haley into a hug. And they didn't know it, but the sun broke free from the dark clouds, a symbol that their parents were watching.
Well I hope you liked it. Thanks for the reviews, I really appreciate them.
Song Haley sang: Hilary Duff-'Someone's watching over me'
Song Brooke 'wrote' for her parents: Kelly Clarkson-'Behind these hazel eyes'