Disclaimer : Everything here is mine. Heh, all except Naruto and his crew.
A dark hallway...soon we hear laughter and cries of a baby. Then came a series of story telling by a man.
Zooms to a cage with a huge Nine Tailed Demon Fox was held staring wide eyed at the 17inch Flat Panel screen of a monitor. A boy sitting there looking at the screen with the Demon, in his hands was a bag of popcorn and beside him an Ice-Cream soda.
Suddenly the huge demon let out a roar as the screen showed a scene at how the Demon fox was sealed.
The boy threw some popcorn at the beast and threatened that if the monster made another loud growl of some sorts he would do something drastic.
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From the author of A Dragon From Above, The Dragon Has Landed and New world, New Age, New War comes a new crazy adventure.
Max Knight and his Knights of the Square Table presents.....A Naruto Self Insert Fic.
Unexpected Events
Chapter 2 : Greetings my fellow Knights !
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The demon was clearly angered that this... this HUMAN was threatening him. No one in his right mind would dare threaten him and lived to tell the tale. No one except this boy in front of him, the boy that introduced him to Anime, the one that was eating Caramel Popcorn and slurping huge mouth full of what seems like beverage....the boy he was going to torture...well, until the boy let him watch all the Anime series he had or until he could get out of this damn cage sealed by the Yondaime.
" So you see, that's the boy we are staying in, I know it's a disgrace and all but if we work together we could raise him as a vessel suitable for you, the Great Kyubi no Kitsune." said the Max as he calls himself.
The demon was too interested in how Naruto started attacking Haku and was snickering at the way Haku was defeated and kept saying about acknowledgement from this bandaged guy named Zabusa to reply Max.
Max narrowed his eyebrows and stopped the show just when Naruto was about to kill Haku with his Kunai, that earned a yell and growling from Kyubi...oh and a death glare that could melt metal in a few seconds.
" Tut tut, listen to me for once okay ? " said Max as he wagged his finger in front of the Kyubi.
" Human, you better give me a good reason for stopping at such a critical moment for my enjoyment. " said the Kyubi.
" No...That's just some history...well for me that is, you it's just a glimpse of what MAY come true in 12 years if you kept yourselves from Naruto like in the series. See how idiotic he was? And with your powers and chakra mixing with his, he can't perform a simple Bunshin." Max said as though making a bunshin was the easiest thing in the world.
" Let me finish the fight, then talk. " growled Kyubi.
" Heh, I still find it hard to believe that you amongst everyone would be interested in Anime...but who can blame you, it's like watching your future...only with some cool music and stuff." said Max.
" Fine, what do you propose then ? " asked the Kyubi.
" Well, after this I will skip some episodes and show you the part where Naruto first meet you. Then maybe you'll know how to communicate with him." said Max.
" Fine, just let me finish the show. I wanna see how that whelp made his first killing. " said Kyubi eagerly.
" Right...." then Max pressed the play button and laughed at the disappointed face of Kyubi when Haku took hold of Naruto's Kunai and died protecting Zabusa.
" WHAT IS IT WITH YOU HUMANS PROTECTING EACH OTHER ?? " yelled Kyubi.
" Hey, it's what make us human. "
" And what kind of an insane logic is that you brat ? " yelled the Kyubi again.
" Call me brat again you fur ball and no more anime. " said Max.
" Oh yeah ? I don't think YOU could resist not watching Anime." replied the demon smugly.
" Correct, one can't live without the pleasure of watching Anime forever...but I CAN do this. " said Max and then took out a very colorful CD and replaced it in the CD-Rom drive.
" I'm not sure if I'm lucky or unlucky to have my sister put this in my bag...oh well." said Max silently to himself and click on the play button.
" What is this brat ? " growled the Kyubi, clearly very annoyed at this action.
" You'll see...." said Max in an evil voice.
A few seconds later, a very very perky music played and four strange beings with very bright colors popped out from nowhere and danced about as their names where being announced by the Narrator...
" Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Lala, Poo...Teletubies...Teletubies..."
Max let the music played for a few seconds until a very loud roar filled the hall way...well make that a very very loud
" NOOOOOO STOOOPP !! STOOOP THIS INFERNAL BLATTERING!!! OOH FOR HELL'S SAKE STOP IT !! AARRGGHHH !!! "
Beside the cage, Max felt a small tinge of guilt towards the Kyubi...well he did react almost the same way when his sister tuned in to the program every Sunday morning.
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In Konoha...the Hyuuga Mansion...
Young little Neji was looking at the many sad faces of his clan, he didn't know what's going on but he knew it must have something to do with the big red monster fox he saw that day.
In his mind....
A boy that goes by the name of laZy hyuuGa stood staring at his monitor. Apparently he could see what Neji was seeing because of the bloodline limit Neji carries in him, the Byakugan.
It took a few hours to let this sink in to the young boy's head that he was stuck here...Just like his What-If fics he made through his e-mails with his other friends through the Internet. Another thing he found weird is the connection to the World Wide Web was made available to him even in his...inside Neji's head.
" Geez...this is so tiresome. So I'm stuck in Neji's head huh ? Wonder if the other guys are in my state. Hmm...maybe I should just wait and see if I can contact them with my MSN Messenger ? " said the boy also known as Sir Sleepalot in the Square table ....or laZy hyuuGa in public. ( Here he shall be known as Sleepalot or laZy )
laZy activated his MSN Messenger and signed in without any problem, okay so there is a problem when all his contacts are gone. Then tried to add contacts by inserting the e-mails of his three e-mail buddies that he assumed that had the same fate as him and grinned as everyone was added to his account. Now all he has to do is to wait, and boy was that his specialty.
" Now all I need is some cheese and my pillow...huh ? " as the boy said that out loud he spotted a slice of Swiss cheese on a soft looking pillow by his side.
" COOL !! "
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Back in Hidden Sand Village...
" Shut up you stupid raccoon or I'll do the most unforgivable thing that even I myself would regret doing to myself !! " growled Peter, also known as Wolfen man...or Sir Randomark in the Square table. Known for his random remarks and sometimes-crazed rage from the pressure of his schoolwork.
Shukaku the Sand Demon was enraged beyond his years as this young man threatened to harm himself. How dare he ?
" How dare you human to threaten me, Shukaku, Sand demon of the Desert? " roared the demon.
Peter's eyebrow twitched " Look ugly, I've been hearin' alot of shit from you lately and I'll make you pay if you don't shut your trap so help me God...I'll make you beg for silence. " said Peter.
The young man was pissed. He still had three more untouched assignments due two days later and here he was, standing face to face with Shukaku, the blood thirsty demon in Gaara. It was bad enough that he was taken to this stupid dream; yet still endure this bantering by Shukaku. Finally after a few 'how dare you this' by Shukaku, Peter took out his final weapon that would guarantee the total silence of any sane being...granted Shukaku was sane is the beginning.
" You asked for it.." said Peter and clicked on his icon on his PC. He has found out that his Pc worked perfectly fine and was about to finish his assignments but Shukaku was really on his nerves.
An old pirate started singing to this weird song...
Captain: Are ya ready kids?
Kids: (Aye aye, captain!)
Captain: I can't hear you!
Kids: (AYE AYE, CAPTAIN!)
Captain: Ohhhh......Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
Kids: (Spongebob Square pants!)
Captain: Absorbent and yellow and porous is he!
Kids: (Spongebob Square pants!)
Captain: If nautical nonsense be something you wish,
Kids: (Spongebob Square pants!)
Captain: Then drop on the deck, and glob like a fish!
Kids: (Spongebob Square pants!)
Captain: Ready?
Everyone: (SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS, SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS, SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS)
Captain: Spongebob.................Square pants!
Peter watch on with glee as the horrid facial expirations on Shukaku was getting cracked....yes, cracked. It was somewhat amusing yet he felt a little bit of guilt as the song kept on and the series goes on about a yellow sponge. Then it hit him, maybe it's because of the water in the show ? Sand Demons hate water...right ?
Or maybe it's just the show ? This episode was about Spongebob's new squeaky boots that Mr. Krabby gave him. It was driving both Mr. Krabbs and Shukaku nuts. It was funny how they resembled each other by hitting their heads on the table/floor and covering their ears with inanimate objects. Then the last act of Shukaku really did make Peter laugh. The demon dissolved into sand and stayed as Sand until the whole episode ended.
" Now that's how you sho em' who's boss. " said Peter to himself as he sees how the Sand demon reform itself asking 'Is it over ?' like a young child.
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In Haku's head...
Daniel de los Santos...also known as Daniel Lynx or Sir Gametrue to his other fellow Knights of the Square table was brooding until he found an icon in the shape of a mirror on his desktop. He too found a way to look through the eyes of young Haku through Haku's hidden bloodline limit.
Daniel was quiet, observant and was often the reasoning voice in the group. His skills come from his talent as a gamer in many RPG games like Xenogears. He was also in to martial Arts, what with his experience in Fighting Games and his taking part in his School's Wrestling Team.
He is always calm and could think of a way out of any situation just like one of his many favorite Anime characters...Ranma Saotome.
Sadly, Daniel couldn't find any way out of his current state of being trapped in the mind of a newborn child. A child he knew well enough to see his future for he was familiar with Haku's fate in the Naruto series. With that, Daniel swore that he would NOT let Haku meet his death like it did in the canon series. History is going to change for the better if not the worse for Haku.
" Still...it would be nice to have my PS2 by my side...still haven't unlock my characters in Mortal Kombat : Deception. "
As soon as he said that, he bumped onto something hard by his leg and found out that it was his PS2 lying there. He went wide-eyed and nearly cried out in happiness, another flash and his 42inch wide screen TV was present.
" Ohhhh yeah....Now this is what I mean by vacation....and a happy new year indeed. " mused Daniel.
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Back in Chibi-Naruto's mind....
" And so you see....Naruto is really a very sad kid. Living like this all his life. Even though he had some friends in the end, they didn't know him as we, the viewers do. We made fan fictions out of the series." said Max to the Kyubi as the monitor shows the fight between Neji and Naruto.
" Hey that kid's using my powers!! Not bad for him to be able to control it like that...although he could do much better after some tuning. Look at all the chakra that's being wasted!! " said Kyubi.
" Will you listen up ? I'm talking about his future here !! "
The Kyubi sniggered " Really ? You mean your future for this boy. I don't think I should change history, he seems to do well himself. And I did hear you about Fan fictions....you said that for more than five times already. I hate it. Heck, the ones you made are really stupid, Ki blasts? Goddesses? Martial Artist from other dimensions? Heh, I believe the last part about dimension travel since I'm witnessing one myself but the rest are stupid and un-logical."
" And how do you suppose I believe that I'm right here speaking to a make believe creature from another country? You think I find this believable? I'm trying to make it easier for him and us to live. Yes, I admit it's for my own selfish needs but hey, I also have a life and a future ahead for me and wouldn't you change your future for the best if you knew about it? " said Max.
The Kyubi seems to be in thought and was silent.
Max sighed " Okay, I admit I can't do this myself...I need your knowledge of techniques, Jutsus and whatever powers you have to help Naruto accomplish his dreams. Maybe with that you can be released from this cage by some miracle and return back to your home. " then Max said in a whisper " And maybe me too...."
The Kyubi glared at Max " Maybe ? MAYBE ? Do you know that this seal is unbreakable? If BY SOME MIRRACLE as you say it happens that could break this damn seal, I would eat one of my tails ! " roared the demon.
Max sighed " I guess we should rest. 12 years is a long time for me...maybe we'll talk this over tomorrow." then he stopped the anime and start writing on his WordPad.
" What are you doing Human ? " asked the Kyubi.
" Writing my diary...and I have a name you fur ball." spat Max.
" All humans are the same to me....food."
" Shut up you hair ball. "
" Hair ball ? HAIR BALL ? I'LL SHOW YOU HAIR BALL YOU BRAT !! "
" Gee, you're doing a very good job of getting me annoyed...maybe some good will do wonders to you..." said Max threateningly as his hands moved to a familiar colorful CD cover.
Silence....
" Now why don't you save all that rage and I'll start a nice song for us..." said Max and started to play his songs on his Winamp player.
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Next day...Max's POV.
I woke up and hope against hope that the recent events were nothing but a dream. I look up and frowned...no such luck.
I muttered a short " Mornin' " to Kyubi and did some exercise to loosen the kinks in my body. I noticed that the hall ways and floor was not wet anymore and they resembled my apartment....well, besides the room and stuff. There weren't any walls but I knew it was somehow made to look like my apartment. I washed and brushed with the toothbrush and toothpaste there. I don't know how it got there but maybe it have something to do with my being here. Heck, I can't even figure out how my PC is able to access the Internet...wait, THE INTERNET!!
I ran towards my Pc and turned it on. I signed in to my MSN messenger and found out that laZy was there waiting for approval. I smirked, it seems that my assumptions were correct. Every one of us that sent that What-if fic was somehow sucked in our written places in our fics. This is weird....
I approved the contact and started getting the other two Knights of my group; hope Peter and Daniel is online.
Lucky me they were. It seems that I'm the last to notice this. As soon as I was found out, they invited my account to their chat room.
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( From here onwards it will be like any MSN Messenger replies )
Max- Sir Animaniac says : Yo guys.
Peter-Sir Randomark says : Yo your ass man. You are so dead if I ever find you.
laZy-Sir Sleepalot says : yo dude, finally cared to join the fun ?
Daniel Lynx- Sir Gametrue says : I assume you're in Naruto's mind with the Kyubi now.
Max- Sir Animaniac says : yeah, and he's hooked on anime.
Peter-Sir Randomark says : Waitaminute...you are showing Kyuubi the animated series of NARUTO?????????
( A/N : Peter actually said that when I told him through MSN. )
laZy-Sir Sleepalot says : That should be fun.
Daniel Lynx- Sir Gametrue says : Cool, wonder what Peter did with his demon.
Peter-Sir Randomark Says : Shukaku is a prick. Damn bitching never stops until I showed him the unforgivable...
Max- Sir Animaniac says : no...no. you didn't...you wouldn't.
Daniel Lynx- Sir Gametrue says : He would.
laZy-Sir Sleepalot says : Hate to be in his shoes...does he wear any shoes ?
Peter-Sir Randomark Says : Nope, what do you expect ? The raccoon crumbled to sand.
Max- Sir Animaniac says : Ish, so what do you guys propose we do ? Daniel ? laZy ? Peter ?
Peter-Sir Randomark Says : I HAVE TO LIVE WITH MY PC FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH ONLY STARCRAFT AND DUNGEON KEEPER 2 PLAYABLE !! Oh and Worms too...
( A/N : Again…Peter said that too. )
Max- Sir Animaniac says : Worms RULE !!
laZy-Sir Sleepalot says : Wrong, CHEESE RULE !!
Daniel Lynx- Sir Gametrue says : Guys Guys, we're not here to discuss about games...and definitely not cheese...besides, I rule at anything playable on the comp.
Max- Sir Animaniac says : Sends glare
Peter-Sir Randomark Says : Last five persons who told me that they ruled went away saying I cheated there was no way I coulda beat them that bad.
laZy-Sir Sleepalot says : I don't care, cheese still rules !!
After some more crapping around....
laZy-Sir Sleepalot says : So...what are we gonna do ?
Max- Sir Animaniac says : I dunno, what are we gonna do ?
Peter-Sir Randomark Says : I thought I asked that first.
Daniel Lynx- Sir Gametrue says : No laZy did...
Peter-Sir Randomark Says : So..what are we gonna do ?
Max- Sir Animaniac says : I dunno, what are we gonna do ? NOW DON'T START THAT AGAIN !!
Daniel Lynx- Sir Gametrue says : Fine.
Peter-Sir Randomark Says : Fine.
Max- Sir Animaniac says : Fine.
laZy-Sir Sleepalot says : So...what ARE we gonna do ?
More crapping....
Max- Sir Animaniac says : Alright, I was thinking about changing the history of this world. You know, fan fiction style with a bit of a modern touch.
Daniel Lynx- Sir Gametrue says : I was thinking of the same thing...
Peter-Sir Randomark Says : yeah right. Say that every time. Anyway it's a good idea besides playing the three games in my pc.
Daniel Lynx- Sir Gametrue says : hey where's laZy ?
Max- Sir Animaniac says : yeah, hey laZy you there ?
laZy-Sir Sleepalot says : Cheese rules !! BTW haven't you guys told Peter yet ?
Peter-Sir Randomark Says : Tell me what ?
Daniel Lynx- Sir Gametrue says : nope. serves him right anyway.
Peter-Sir Randomark Says : TELL ME WHAT ??
Max- Sir Animaniac says : Alright, no need to go all Ryoga like.
laZy-Sir Sleepalot says : yeah, unless you say cheese rules 1000 times.
Peter-Sir Randomark Says : Fine....cheese rules x 1000. There happy ?
Peter-Sir Randomark Says : Now tell me this secret.
Max- Sir Animaniac says : You can get anything you want just by thinking it.
Peter-Sir Randomark Says : huh ?
Max- Sir Animaniac says : Imagine stuff...like CD's..games...drinks...anything. It'll come out like magic.
Peter-Sir Randomark Says : ......
Max- Sir Animaniac says : Peter ?
Daniel Lynx- Sir Gametrue says : I think you broke him.
laZy-Sir Sleepalot says : That's what you get from not respecting the power of Cheese. BWAHAHAHHA ( evil laughter )
Max- Sir Animaniac says : dude, the world is not controlled by cheese.
Daniel Lynx- Sir Gametrue says : yeah, you're starting to become like Naruto and his fetish for Ramen.
laZy-Sir Sleepalot says : But...cheese is good.
Continued crapping without Peter.
laZy-Sir Sleepalot says : Still...anyone thinks Peter will come back ?
Daniel Lynx- Sir Gametrue says : I still think he deserves it.
Max- Sir Animaniac says : That was kinda harsh...
Peter-Sir Randomark Says : Hey guys, I'm back.
Max- Sir Animaniac says : Peter, where've you been ?
Peter-Sir Randomark Says : You really wanna know ?
Daniel Lynx- Sir Gametrue says : Do tell us.
laZy-Sir Sleepalot says : Although nothing is better than the creation of cheese...where DID you go ?
Peter-Sir Randomark Says : do you guys really really wanna know ?
laZy-Sir Sleepalot says : YES !
Daniel Lynx- Sir Gametrue says : Obviously.
Max- Sir Animaniac says : Before that...just don't say that it's a secret coz that's so cliché.
Peter-Sir Randomark Says : Fine I won't.
Max- Sir Animaniac says : Good...and ?
Peter-Sir Randomark Says : I'll send you the picture instead.
Sending picture..................
Few seconds later, the picture was received by all the Knights.
Peter-Sir Randomark Says : So ? How was it ?
Max- Sir Animaniac says : NO FUCKING WAY !!
Daniel Lynx- Sir Gametrue says : This is unbelievable...
laZy-Sir Sleepalot says : This...this... THIS IS BETTER THAN EATING CHEESE !! Though nothing compared to swimming in cheese.
Max- Sir Animaniac says : I never thought you could do THAT. Dude you have a hell of an imagination.
Daniel Lynx- Sir Gametrue says : Somehow I wish I could think of that earlier...
Peter-Sir Randomark Says : I knew you would say that.
Daniel Lynx- Sir Gametrue says : har...har..
Crapping....
Daniel Lynx- Sir Gametrue says : Okay, so we'll try to change our charges future by making it a better one.
Peter-Sir Randomark Says : My Gaara will kick ass !!
laZy-Sir Sleepalot says : NEJI WILL BE THE BEST CHEESE MAKER IN THE WORLD !!
Max- Sir Animaniac says : Hey, since when did this turned into a Pokemon thing ?
Daniel Lynx- Sir Gametrue says : Hmm...not a bad idea. We'll see who raised the best fighter after 12 years.
Peter-Sir Randomark Says : My Gaara will kick ass !! Oh and Max, I can see Temari in person !! BWHAAHAAHAHAH JEALOUS ??
Max- Sir Animaniac says : Not quite...after seeing you pulling THAT stunt on us...
Daniel Lynx- Sir Gametrue says : Right...later guys.
laZy-Sir Sleepalot says : Yeah, there's a triple cheese burger with my name on it...written in Cheese.
Peter-Sir Randomark Says : You're lucky tha ocean is calling and I want to answer that call.
Max- Sir Animaniac says : Ocean ?
Peter-Sir Randomark Says : else she'll call collect...the bitch.
Max- Sir Animaniac says : sweat drop
Peter-Sir Randomark Says : Or is it beach ? Oh well, in the end it's not that great a difference.
Max- Sir Animaniac says : see ya later man...I think I smelt wet dawg.
Peter-Sir Randomark Says : hahah later man
Max- Sir Animaniac says : later.
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TBC....?
What did Peter do in the picture ?
How will the guys change history ?
Will Shukaku be able to stay sane after the SpongeBob treatment ?
Will Naji become the world best cheese maker ?
Will Kyubi ever finish watching the entire Naruto series ?
Find out soon in the next episode of Unexpected Events.
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(A/N : I decided to put the author notes and replies at the end of the fic.
As you can all guess by now, the four SI's are based on three of my favorite fic readers/authors and best friends on the net. Though the time we spent together was short and brief, I found out that we are somewhat alike in many ways. Our likes or hobbies may be different but our views are the same. So after some strange stuff that happened at the end of New Years Eve, I started this weird fic on how we could change the life or history of one of our favorite characters in the Naruto world.
The chat room at the last part was taken from the chat sessions I had with them. Most were taken and with a bit of a twist became some funny old clichéd joke. Heck, I only met them last year when I did the first chapter of The Dragon Has Landed…
Whoever out there might still remember one fic called ' Go ! Future Naruto!' by lazy hyuuGa. I assure you that this is THE author of that great fic. For some stupid reason by some idiotic and selfish reviewer that sued laZy about his story being too INTERACTIVE, I curse you to hell.
There are many other fics out there ASKING the reviewers to put their character through review box and wasn't been banned. lazy even asked the readers NOT to put character bios in the review box but do they listen ? No, they kept on pressuring him and made his account and story being suspended and deleted.
That said, I hope no one else would dare accuse him of being a bad writer. Although he isn't the greatest out there in , his story is better than most fics I came upon that required the readers to give their characters through review box. I'm not telling which fic, but I dare say the ones I came upon. Yeah, I'm a prick for saying that huh ?
Okay enough ranting, this is a story that I made to help the creative juices flow through my poor almost dried out brain.
Replies :
Fire : Glad you like this. I sure as hell wouldn't want that to happen to me.
KKSG : Thanks for the review, here's the update.
laZy-hyuuGa : There man, not to OOC I hope. Cheers Sir Sleepalot.
Night-Owl123 : Glad you like this as my other two stories. Hope you enjoy this chapter as well.
Duo : Okay, I get that all the time. The most challenging and difficult fics to write is Self-Insert fics. I was hoping to earn a good author remark somewhere around here. I really admire all the great SI writers out there and wanted to be like them ever since…well…EVER !! Try reading my other fic titled 'The Dragon Has Landed' and see if I still have my standard there to your taste. But…but if you prefer crazy stuff, then try my first one. Though not as good as the later fic, it does spell craziness everywhere. Oh and I think I answered your question in this chapter ne ?
Krazy : Wow, I'm so happy you're still here with me. Hope you enjoyed all this crazy stuff that happened around Max and his three other friends. I guaranteed that they are REAL people in my story. Yeah, I decided to take on my next mission on turning Kyubi into an Anime freak like myself. Anyway it would be fun in Naruto's brain I hope. Besides crying ? Well, read on pal.
Okay I leave you all to review this chapter. More reviews, more faster and better updates. Oh and tell me if you guys don't like the chat room sessions in the future, I personally like them though.)