It was just half past six when Brooke dragged herself out of bed. Peyton was on the floor out like a light and Haley was stretched across the bed sound asleep. She carefully stepped over Peyton and made her way out of the room and into hers.
"Brooke," Taylor groaned from behind her, making Brooke nearly jump out her skin. "How many times have I told you to lock the door at night? I could have been some crazy killer!"
Brooke turned around and rolled her eyes. "Like a killer would break into someone's house and try to kill them in broad daylight."
Taylor sighed and dropped her bag that was slung over her shoulder. "Whatever.
Brooke looked at her in confusion, remembering that she was supposed to go on a trip somewhere.
"What are you doing home?" Brooke asked while raising her eyebrow. She quickly put on a fake smile when Taylor glared at her. "I mean, it's nice to see you."
"Save it, B. Would you like to tell me what the hell is going on?" Taylor asked in a sharp tone, not taking no for an answer. Brooke did her best to play dumb and shrugged.
"Nothing?"
"Brooke!" Taylor half-yelled, "stop lying to me. First of all, I'm home because 8 hours ago I got a phone call from my hysterical sister telling me that she needs me right now and I need to come home. So I had to wait for the next flight out which took about 4 hours and then I had to sit next to a whiny little brat who kept smacking me in the face, and then I come home to find Haley passed out in the bathroom over the toilet. I'm running on three hours of sleep, so I'm whiny, I'm bitchy and I want the truth. Right now."
Brooke blinked a few times, trying to take in all the information that Taylor had just given her. "Fine," she sighed, sitting down on the bed, "Haley went to a party and got a little drunk. Okay, she got plastered and she was dancing with, Christian."
"Christian? Not the guy that hit her, right?" Taylor said in a surprise. She walked over to the bed and sat down next to Brooke, letting out a heavy sigh. Brooke looked at her shocked and she half-smiled. "She told me that night we found out about Nathan. I didn't say anything because she didn't want me to."
"Yeah, well good going." Brooke mumbled under her breath. "Anyways, she drunkenly confessed it and then I sort of went wild and went back to the party and kicked the living shit out of him. "
"Brooke," Taylor said with a sigh, "you can't go around kicking everyone's ass who makes Haley feel bad." Brooke got off the bed in clear annoyance and glared at her sister.
"Makes her feel bad? Come here and I'll show you why I had to kick his ass," Brooke snapped, grabbing Taylor's hand and violently leading her into Haley's bedroom.
"Brooke is this really necessary?" Taylor asked, trying to hide her uneasiness. Brooke stepped over Peyton and nodded her head.
"Completely necessary," She whispered, gently rolling Haley over onto her back and pulling the covers down off of her. "Brace yourself," she warned before lifting Haley's shirt up to reveal the large black and blue bruise that stretched across her abdomen. Taylor immediately put her hands over her mouth at the sight in front of her. She turned away to avoid letting out a gasp that could potentially wake up Haley. Brooke nodded sadly and gently pulled Haley's shirt back down before throwing the covers back over her stiff body.
"Now sit there and tell me there was no need for me to kick his ass," Brooke whispered harshly as they left the room, making their way down the hall as far away from the room as possible.
Taylor sighed and closed her eyes for a minute. "Fine. I'm sorry, but next time, can you please tell me what is going on before I go half way across the country? The last thing I need is to get a phone call saying you've been arrested for assault." Brooke couldn't help but crack a smile making Taylor look at her nervously.
"Where were you going anyways?" Brooke asked out of curiosity. Taylor had never officially said where she was going and why. She turned away and shrugged, obviously not wanting to say anything.
"Why the hell did you let Haley get drunk?" Taylor snapped out of nowhere, making Brooke jump back in shock. "Jesus, Brooke, what the hell are you thinking?"
Brooke stared at her sister wide-eyed, not understanding where all of this anger was coming from. "Excuse me?" Brooke bit back in her own anger, "you're the one who let her go to the damn party."
"Well, you should have gone and made sure she was okay," Taylor replied coldly, "If I would have known she was going to get drunk I wouldn't have let her go."
"Yeah, like she would listen to you." Brooke mumbled, making Taylor raise her eyebrow. "In case you haven't noticed, Haley is on some 'independence' kick and she is not listening to anyone right now."
Taylor shook her head and started to pace. Brooke rolled her eyes, knowing Taylor was trying to think of something else to criticize her on. "Where does this Christian kid live?"
"Tay, don't-" Brooke tried to reason with her but Taylor wasn't having any of it.
"Brooke," Taylor threatened, pinning her up against the wall, "tell me right now or so help me god I will beat it out of you." Brooke felt her wrists go numb and somehow found the strength to get Taylor to release her. Taylor looked at Brooke in shock, clearly having no idea what came over her. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."
Brooke put her hand on Taylor's shoulder and nodded her head. "That's okay. Just try and control yourself next time, tiger." She cracked a slight smile, which resulted in a push from Taylor.
"I know, I know. It's just, why would anyone want to hurt Haley?" Taylor mused, launching into deep thought. Brooke shook her head and shrugged, not knowing what to say. "She wouldn't even hurt a fly. First Nathan, and now this kid, it's like the world is out to get her."
"Well all I can say is, hike up that big sister protectiveness, Taylor," Brooke said while moving her thumb up and down. Taylor nodded and shrank down to the floor.
"I'm trying, I'm trying," Taylor groaned, gently hitting her head on the wall behind her. "It's just that with everyone thing going on right now, it's hard okay? Besides, I want to know where this Christian kid lives to give him a piece of my own mind. That's hiking up my big sister protectiveness by at least ten points."
Brooke took a seat next to her and nodded. "It does. But, can we at least give him a day to recover?"
Taylor frowned, not liking that idea at all. If it wasn't quarter of seven in the morning she would have marched right over to his house and kick his ass as well. "Fine," she mumbled in obvious disappointment, "but first thing tomorrow morning you're giving me his address and I'm going to do some serious ass whooping." Brooke nodded in agreement and watched as Taylor stood up, she pulled Brooke up after her. "Seeing as you're up, and seeing as Haley is going to hurt like hell in a few hours, what do you say we cook a nice hang over breakfast for her and the blonde chick. That way maybe we can get her to talk to us while she's sober."
Brooke raised her eyebrow. "You and your bribes," she said with a fake eye roll prompting another slap from Taylor. "I'm kidding! It's sounds like a good idea, but don't hold your breath about the whole Haley talking thing."
"I'm not going to," Taylor mumbled while she and Brooke made their way down the stairs and into the kitchen. She figured the aroma of the eggs and bacon would wake the two sleeping occupants right away.
About 20 minutes into their cooking, they heard a shuffle from upstairs and footsteps coming down the stairs. They hoped and prayed it would be Haley but they suddenly frowned when Peyton came into the room, yawning. "This smells nice," she commented before noticing the looks the two girls were giving here. "What?"
"Nevermind,' Brooke mumbled going back to the eggs, "it's only Peyton."
Peyton raised her eyebrow and sat down at the table. "Not the thrill it used to be?" Brooke rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out at her friend. Taylor sighed and put the greasy bacon on a paper plate, making Peyton drool at the very sight of it.
"What's Haley doing?" Taylor asked while serving Peyton a plate of bacon and eggs. Peyton took a huge bite and started to chew, holding up her finger as a symbol for them to wait. Peyton took a sip of the orange juice and was finally ready to talk.
"I don't know she was still sleeping when I got up but she was mumbling something so I'm guessing she'll be up soon." Brooke and Taylor nodded at each other as Peyton went on. "She's really cute when she sleeps, she's got that teddy bear in her arms and she's all tangled up in the sheets. Definitely a Kodak moment." The three girls smiled at the very thought of it. Haley was just too cute for words sometimes.
They were silent for a minute trying to think of something else to say. A few seconds later they heard footsteps coming down the stairs and they all tensed up. They were all different when they were hungover and they didn't know how Haley was going to be.
Haley emerged into the kitchen letting out a large groan. Her hair was all in her face and her hands were covering her head. "I think I'm dead," she announced, practically falling into the chair next to Peyton.
"Morning Princess," Taylor said with a large grin on her face. She to admit, seeing Haley in this state was funny. Both her and Brooke never imagined living to see the day that their sweet and innocent sister would get drunk. Haley looked up at the goofy grin on Taylor's face and flipped her the finger. "I would put that finger down, honey, I made you breakfast." Brooke coughed signaling that she was offended. Taylor rolled her eyes at Brooke and soon corrected herself, "Brooke and I made breakfast."
Haley had to admit, it did smell good but she didn't think she could stomach it. "Aw, you guys, that's so nice but I don't think I can keep it down." Haley said as nicely as possible. "I'm still feeling a little sick."
Brooke smiled sympathetically and put the plate down in front of her. "Just eat what you can, whatever you don't finish Peyton will gladly finish it up for you." Haley glanced at Peyton, who was currently wolfing down her food.
"Can you remember anything from last night?" Taylor asked as carefully as possible. She didn't know whether or not Haley would remember their phone call.
"Honestly? I can only remember Brooke dragging me out of there and me throwing up all over my clothes." She looked down at her now clean clothes, "and thanks whoever changed me."
Taylor smiled and shrugged it off like it was no big deal.
"Well I wasn't going to let you spend the rest of the night in gross clothes leaning over the toilet. I had some sympathy for you last night," Taylor teased, making Haley laugh before groaning and holding her head.
Brooke looked from sister to sister and smiled. She couldn't remember the last time the three of them ate breakfast together without fighting. She watched as Haley carefully took a bite of the eggs before spitting them back out.
"Peyton?" Haley asked quietly, gesturing to her food. Peyton nodded her head and slid the plate over to her, flicking the regurgitated eggs onto the table. Haley carefully took a sip of her orange juice, praying to god it wouldn't end up coming back up. When it settled in her stomach she looked around and noticed Brooke and Taylor staring at her as if there was something wrong with her. "What?"
"Nothing," they both said in unison making Haley raise her eyebrow. Taylor wanted to bring up the bruises so badly, but she knew now wasn't the time and place.
"Hey, I hate to sound rude, but Tay what are you doing here? I thought you were going on some trip to visit your friends." Both Taylor and Brooke exchanged worried glances realizing Haley didn't remember the hysterical phone call last night.
"Um, Hay," Taylor started gently as possible, she kneeled down beside Haley and rested her hand on Haley's leg, "last night you called me just as I was about to change planes. You were pretty upset and you wanted me to come."
"And you came home to see your drunk little sister?" Haley said with a glint in her eye, she leaned into Taylor and gave her a hug. Taylor smiled and hugged Haley bag, a little too tight then what Haley wanted. Haley felt the unwanted pressure on her bruise and tried to pull back. "Tay, stop, let me go," she whispered, trying to pull back. Taylor immediately pulled back watching as Haley tried to shake the pain off.
"Are you okay?" Brooke asked in concern, like Taylor she wanted to bring up the bruises more than anything. "Does your bruise still hurt?"
Haley immediately sat up in fear and tried to shake it off. "What bruise? I don't know what you're talking about."
"Haley," Brooke sighed as Peyton stopped eating and got up from the table, figuring the sisters would like some privacy, "last night you told me that Christian had hurt you."
"I, I was lying, besides how, how do you even know I have a bruise?" Haley asked in a shaky voice. Brooke got up and walked over to Taylor.
"Because I saw it last night."
"So, you were lifting up my shirt while I was drunk?" Haley half-yelled, getting up from the table, "you had no right, Brooke, no right."
"Haley," Taylor interjected before world war three could ensue, "I believe you about the bruises." Brooke looked at her in disbelief, but knowing Taylor she had a plan.
"You, you do?" Haley whispered shyly, in shock that Taylor would take her word over Brooke's. "Thanks."
Taylor smiled, savoring the seconds of respect Haley had for her right then and there. "But just to be sure, can we see your stomach?"
Haley tugged at her shirt hardly and shook her head. "No."
"I just want to see-" Taylor tried to reason with her but Haley shook her head.
"I thought you believed me?" Haley whispered in tears, "you said you believed me, Taylor!"
"We just want to make sure you're okay, Hales." Brooke said, taking a step closer to Haley. But Haley took a step back and shrunk down in the corner. "Baby, please."
"Don't call me that, I told you I didn't want you to call me that," Haley replied hotly, visibly upset by the nickname. "So this thing was all just a bribe in getting me to talk?"
"No," Taylor replied back quickly. Haley looked at her two sisters and shook her head. It was a bribe, she knew it, and they knew it. "We're just really concerned about you, Hay."
Haley had to laugh at that. "Yeah, whatever. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going back to bed to get as much sleep as I can. Unlike you two, I have to go to work." Brooke and Taylor both watched in horror as Haley stormed out of the kitchen and out of their sight.
"Just leave her, Brooke," Taylor whispered, watching Brooke creep towards the living room. "She'll calm down eventually."
A few hours after Haley had left for work, Brooke sat in her room staring at the wall. She hated the person Haley had become and she didn't know how much longer she could take.
"Hey," Taylor said knocking on the door before coming in, "I found this when I was unpacking, I don't know what it is though." She handed Brooke a white envelope with her name written on it. Taylor smiled and left the room, shutting the door behind her.
Brooke.
It was in her dad's handwriting. Brooke gulped as carefully opened the envelope, pulling out a neatly folded piece of paper. She unfolded it and couldn't help but gasp. The date was June 18th, 1987, just 3 months after she was born.
My little, Brookie,
You're probably wondering why I am writing this letter to you. And when I know why, I'll let you know. I am just overwhelmed by your beauty and your ability to light up a room-even on the darkest days. You are just too cute for words and I'd give anything to keep you the way you are right now. Today you're 3 months old, I know, like you care. But today is also a special day because we found out that your mother is pregnant again. Whoops. Your mother just has that irresistible charm that makes her hard to keep away from. That probably grosses you out and I can imagine you saying: 'eew dad!' So I'll stop with our sex life. So in December you're getting yourself a little baby brother or sister. Mikey is pulling for a brother, but Taylor here does not want another baby. She says you're too much and that she needs her beauty sleep at night. Although, she can't keep her hands off of you. She calls you her baby and she wants to be around you all day long. So, Brooke, when that new little baby arrives, I want you to know that you'll always be my little girl. And no matter how much you fight with your new baby brother or sister, I want you to be there for them no matter what. That means taking care of him or her when we're not around and making sure they're not getting picked on in school. Your mother and I already started picking out names. If it's a boy, which I hope it is, we're going to name him after your dear ole dad here. Jimmy Michael James Junior. What a name huh? But if it's another girl, which your mother is pulling for, we've settled on Haley Elizabeth James. I'm going to be writing this to you 3 month periods so next time I write to you, you'll find out whether you're going to have a new baby sister or brother.
Brookie,
It's been 3 months to the day since I've written you my first letter. And guess what? You're going to have a little baby sister. Haley should be here in 3 months time, just in time for Christmas! We're all very excited for Haley's arrival and I hope you are too. Even though you're too young to understand this now, I want you to know that you'll always be my baby girl, even with Haley here. I hope you're not too jealous because you only get to be the baby for 9 months, but I think you'll make a great big sister and Haley will be a bundle of joy. In my last letter I mentioned Taylor being skeptical about the new baby, she still is but she told your mom and me that we could keep Haley and she would keep you as her little baby. She really loves you, kid and I'm hoping you'll be the same with your new baby sister. It's hard to believe that the next time I write you a letter, little Haley will be here with us. And our family will be complete.
Big Sister, Brookie,
She's here, she's really here, sitting right next to me. December 24th, 1987. See, I told you just in time for Christmas. She was so tiny; only 5 pounds and 3 ounces. She cries like the dickens but you did too. She takes after her big sister more than I thought. She's got your eyes, Brookie, and your beautiful smile. I know you're still too young to understand, but my god, Brooke, she's just so wonderful. And the way you look at her, I can just tell you're always going to be there for her. Right now, you are sitting on my lap and Taylor is making faces at little Haley. You keep gnawing on my pen, but that's okay, I still love you. I don't know when I plan on giving this letter to you, or if I will. It was just something I thought I could do to pass my time and to make sure you know that I'll always love you no matter what. Through thick and thin I'm there for you babe. If you have a problem, I'll be the first to fix it. A couple of buddies and I have started a small garage band. We pretty much suck but hey, it's for our own amusement. And when you get older, you'll probably roll your eyes at the thought of your 'old' dad being a singer in a band. And that's okay because I would do the same thing if I were in your position. We've written a few songs about stupid things like beer and women, but this song, this song is special to me in so many ways. I wrote this for you, baby, I wrote this for you.
Well I want you to notice
To notice when I'm not around
And I know that your eyes see straight through me
And speak to me without a sound
Chorus:
I want to hold you
Protect you from all of the things I've already endured
I want to show you
Show you all the things that this life has in store for you
I'll always love you
The way that a father should love his daughter
When I walked out this morning
I cried as I walked to the door
I cried about how long I'd be away for
I cried about leaving you all alone
I want to hold you
Protect you from all of the things I've already endured
I want to show you
Show you all the things that this life has in store for you
I'll always love you
The way that a father should love his daughter
Sweet Little Brooke x2
So I wanted to say this
Cuz I wouldn't know where to begin
To explain to you what I have been through
To explain where your daddy has been
I want to hold you
Protect you from all of the things I've already endured
I want to show you
Show you all the things that this life has in store for you
I'll always love you
The way that a father should love his daughter
Sweet Little Brooke..
So that's it. Even though you probably won't even get to see that, I'll always know in my heart that it's there. Your mother is calling us for dinner so one last thing before I go. If anything, god forbid, happens to your mother and I, please, please take care of little Haley. She's going to need you as much as you need her and I would hate to see your bond being broken. Now, I'm still debating whether or not I should give this to you. For now, I'm going to hide it in your mother's old suitcase-she'll never know it's there.
I love you with all my heart, Brookie.
-Daddy
I'll always love you
the way that a father should love his daughter
Brooke read those lines over and over again, still in shock of what she had just read. Never once did her father mention anything about writing her letters when she was growing up. And she never knew about that amazing song her father had written her.
Taylor came back into the room and stared at Brooke, who was staring blankly at the paper, tears falling onto the page. "Brooke? Are you okay?" Brooke shook her head and folded the letter up and put it in her back pocket.
"No," she whispered, making Taylor concerned. "I have to go somewhere, okay? I'll be back later." Taylor nodded and watched as Brooke disappeared out of the door and listened as the door shut behind her.
"I wonder what that was about," she mumbled as the phone rang. She walked out into the hall and picked it up. "Hello?"
"Hi, Taylor?" Karen's voice came on the other end, "this is Karen."
Taylor smiled at the older woman's voice. "Hi, Karen, how are you?"
"I'm good, good. Listen, do you know where Haley is? She was supposed to come in at 3 and it's now past 5. Jake really needs to get home to Jenny and I hate having him wait here."
Taylor raised her eyebrow, in shock that Haley would skip work. "Karen, what are you talking about? Haley left 2 hours ago for work. I saw her leave myself."
Karen sighed on the other end. "She never showed up."
Brooke's eyes burned as the drops of salty tears cascaded down her cheeks. Her makeup was all down her face but she could care less. Her life was plummeting down and there was nothing she could do to stop it.
A lie. She lived a lie. A meaningless life she led but it was fabricated into glitz and glam. Head cheerleader, most popular girl in the 11th grade, and girlfriend of one of the star basketball players. When she walked, her silky brown hair bounced around as her perfectly made up face shined as if she just stepped out of a magazine. She seemed flawless, and to some she was. Brooke James was the epitome of perfection and was considered the poster child for it.
But the mask she lived behind began to corrode, and soon enough her demons became her reality and she was running from something that wasn't there.
The church looked welcoming as it did 5 years ago when she first stepped foot in it to mourn the death of her parents. Her hands trembled as she grasped the doorknob and heaved the door open with all her might. Though her vision was blurred from the tears that were waiting to drop out of her hazel eyes, she continued to walk down the aisle, running her hands on every other pew.
Her parents got married in this church. Her parents christened her in this church. Her parents were bid farewell in this church. She was the only one in the church, just like the only one left after her parent's funeral. It still hadn't hit her that they were gone. She stayed afterwards just staring at the statue of Jesus, trying to figure out why he took her parent's away.
Confession. Lydia and Jimmy always urged Brooke and Haley to go to confession at least once a month to make sure god forgave them for the sins they committed. But Brooke never thought she was committing any sins. Sure she let the F bomb slip once in a while, but she never did anything bad.
But she was bad. Having sex before marriage, making the people around her feel like crap, and most of all, ignoring her sister and making her feel like she was worthless. Worthless. That's pretty much how she felt right now. Her dad wanted her to take care of Haley, not berate her and make her feel like the shittiest person in the world.
Brooke took a deep breath and headed over towards the confession area. She stepped inside, sitting down and suddenly finding herself claustrophobic. The priest carefully pulled the sliding window open and waited for her to begin.
"Okay," she whispered, taking another deep breath. After she exhaled, she was ready to go. "I'm sorry, but this is really hard for me. You're just going to have to bear with me for a bit. I had this all planned out but it was filled with curses and other words you're not suppose to say in church." He chuckled and motioned for her to take her time.
"I, I must be honest though. I haven't really been to church since my parents died 5 years ago. The only time I come is for their anniversary mass and I sometimes find that hard to go to. Everyday I wake up and find myself asking 'why'? What was so bad about them that they had to die? They were good parents, not the best, but definitely good parents. Growing up, we didn't have that much money because my parents were trying to put my brother through law school. But even though it put a financial burden on their lives, they never regretted it once. It made them so happy to see us achieve our dreams.
"My best friend, her mother died about 5 years before mine did. I remember her being so sad about it and I couldn't even imagine the thought of losing my mom so young. But I did. And my imagination became my reality and now things are just so shi-, crappy, things are just so crappy. But, I can't let anyone know it. I'm supposed to be the strong one and if I fall apart, I'm afraid everyone else will. I hate crying in front of people and only have done it once in front of my sister and once in front of my friend, Peyton. She's the one whose mom died. But she was so strong about it. It's been almost 10 years for her and she can talk about her mom with ease and no tears. I can't. Just the thought of my parents makes me want to cry because I know I'll never see them again.
"They'll never see me and my sister grow up and have our own kids. My dad will never be able to walk me down the aisle when I get married. And worst part is, they'll never get to see how much my sister, Taylor has changed. Taylor hated my parents growing up. She thought they were out to get her and never let her have any fun. She was always a little wild, and I guess I took after her more than I thought. But now, now, Taylor is so amazing to my little sister and me. She has given up so much just to make sure we're all right. And there are no words in the English language that could possibly describe how much I love her and how grateful I am to her. She's only 22, but she must feel like 42. She went from wild woman to a domestic 'mother' type figure to us. And I just can't believe how lucky we are to have her and I'll never ever hold anything against her again."
Brooke had to praise herself for doing well. A whole 5-minutes of talking without shedding a single tear. But now as she moved onto Haley, she felt her eyes water before she even spoke.
"But, Haley," Brooke began, trying her best not to breakdown in front of the stranger sitting in the booth next to her. "Haley's my other sister. My poor, broken, fragile little sister. If anyone took the death of my parents hard, it was Haley. She didn't have many friends so my mom was her best friend. They did everything together and I just remember how happy Haley was around my mom.
"Growing up, we were so close. I was like her hero," Brooke let out a little laugh before she continued, "But even though we were close, she did get on my nerves. I know it was just a typical little sister thing, but when she did get on my nerves, I let her have it. I used, I used to tell her that she was unwanted at first but my parents only kept her because they had no place to send her. My god, she used to cry every time I told her that. Back then I thought it was funny because she got worked up over something I thought was nothing. I also used to tell her she was adopted. We all looked like my dad and she's the only one who looked like my mom. Now that got her hysterical.
"And as awful as that all sounds, sometimes Taylor and I would bet on who could make Haley cry the hardest. It was usually me because I knew how to make her upset from sharing a room with her all those years. She could never sleep without my mom tucking her in and when she got annoying, I would tell her that mom wouldn't tuck her in anymore and that she was going to make her sleep outside. My mom and dad would always sit me down and tell me how wrong it was for making Haley cry, but I always ignored them and did it anyways.
"Now, Haley does nothing but cry. She cries because she misses my parents, she cries because Taylor went somewhere without saying goodbye, and she cries," Brooke paused, tearing up at the next sentence, "and she cries herself to sleep practically every night. And it's not just crying, it's heart-wrenching sobs that make her body shake and choke when she's gone too far. And it's so, so hard to sit there and watch her fall apart, knowing that you can't do a single thing.
"And then, then Nathan Scott came along and robbed her of having a normal chance at life." And with that being said, she broke down completely, retelling the horrific event that will forever change their lives. "He tried, he tried to rape her because she wouldn't have sex with him. He wanted to be the first man to lay all of the James girls, but when Haley said no, he flipped out and tried to force her into it. And now, now she's afraid to go near any guy that crosses her path. But now, Haley's different. Apart of me doesn't want to let her grow up because of all the fear and rejection she'll face, but she is and like it or not, I have to accept it. But I can't. Not when she's out at parties getting herself drunk and dancing with ass-idiots who beat her senseless. She's killing herself and I want her to stop. But I can't make her stop she won't listen to me. She tells me that I'm over-reacting and that I need to lighten up." Brooke looked down for a minute and tried to stop her shaking knee with all the strength she had. She sniffled and wiped her eyes, fighting for the will to go on.
"I remember one night after a long day of school, I was getting ready to tuck her in. I know I can never replace my mom, but I just want to be there for Haley as much as I can. I used to be such a bi- such a horrible person to her during school. I would humiliate her in front of everyone and watch as my 'friends' made fun of her and stole her books. Lucas, my now ex-boyfriend, and Peyton used to try so hard to get me to go stand up for her and be nice to her. But I wouldn't do it. I just couldn't. Sure, apart of me wanted to, but there was something holding me back. But anyways, after I tucked her in and made sure she was all settled, she wanted me to stay with her for a couple of minutes so that she could fall asleep. I sort of knew it was coming, but I just humored her and watch her work up the courage to ask me. We got to talking about nicknames, and I wanted to call her baby because whether she likes it or not, she is my baby. She's the only thing I have now and I need her as much as she needs me. But she wouldn't let me call her baby because my mom called her baby and then she broke into a fit of sobs.
"I felt so horrible for making her cry and I told her I would never call her baby again. It's so hard to fight that urge every time it comes up in my mouth. I just want her to know she's loved and that I would be totally lost without her. I'm hoping she knows that because if she didn't, it would make me feel pretty crummy. Haley used to tell me I was so strong, but in reality I'm not. I just pretend to be strong in front of her because she needs all the mothering and comfort she can get. That's why I think of her as my baby, because I always find myself taking care of her and worrying about her when she's not home on time or if she's in a bad mood. And it's so hard to watch her go through life in her current state.
"Call me crazy, and believe me I probably I am for even thinking this. And I hate admitting it, but I always wonder if Nathan didn't try to, try to hurt her, I wonder if we would be this close now? And as horrible and condescending as this sounds, it probably wouldn't be this way now. I would still probably be humiliating her in school and watching as her world fell apart. Now, I find myself wanting to be around her every waking hour, just making sure she's happy. And I am going to do that, I don't care what anyone says, they can't stop me. I love my sister and no one, I mean no one is going to hurt her every again."
Brooke wiped the few tears that remained on her face and looked at the priest. It was obvious he was in a state of shock but she could care less. Even though she just confessed everything to a total stranger, she felt so much better. It was all off her chest and she knew he wouldn't tell anyone or let alone, judge her.
"My, my." Was all he could come up with. He smiled at her and she smiled back. "Believe me when I say this, your sister is incredibly lucky to have you."
"Thanks," Brooke whispered, getting up from the seat. "Thanks for listening."
She smiled one last time and he smiled back, watching the amazing girl get up.
"And I think your sister knows how much you love her. I can tell by the way you talk about her. She sounds like a lovely young woman." Brooke smiled wider now and left the confession booth with a burst of happiness. Everything she ever wanted to get off her chest was off and it felt like huge weight was lifted off her shoulders.
So that's Brooke's whole confession. Hope you enjoyed it. And I know you're all waiting for Lucas and Brooke to get back together, but there's a couple more storylines I want to use with them and maybe they'll get back together in the future. And don't worry about the story ending, I've got this planned out until at least chapter 30. So, once again thanks for your reviews, I love reading them.
So I guess the next chapter is the one you'll all be waiting for. The big Brooke/Haley confrontation. I'll try and have that up by early next week.
-Kristin