I really wish I had a super good excuse as to why this took so long, but I don't so I'm really sorry! The chapter goes in and out of flashbacks for the most part, just to catch you up on things from the big time jump and how things used to be.
Hope you enjoy and please tell me what you think.
"I can't believe you're leaving me," Brooke sighed sadly, watching as Haley zipped up her very last suitcase. Haley returned the sigh and climbed up on the bed next to her sister. "Tomorrow you're officially a College girl."
"No, stop saying that," Haley chastised, hitting Brooke's arm lightly. Brooke returned the gesture and couldn't help but feel a bit sympathetic towards her little sister. She knew how nervous Haley was about tomorrow and she would be feeling the same if she was going to school 8 hours away from home. "I don't know," she whispered, inching closer to her sister. "I was fine with leaving yesterday and the day before, but now that it's here, I'm, I'm having second thoughts."
"Baby, I know you're going to miss me, but that's no reason for you to change your mind and stay behind," Brooke joked, nudging Haley's shoulders a bit when she smiled sadly. Haley couldn't help but agree with her. "You'll be fine."
"What if I won't be? Brooke, what if I get depressed again because I'm so miserable? I don't want to hurt myself ever again. I made it this far and I can't, I don't want to mess that up," Haley said quietly, subconsciously running her hand over the exposed scars on her left arm.
"You won't," Brooke told her forcefully, making sure it got into her little sister's head. She knew Haley and she was confident that Haley wasn't going to resort back to self-harm for her problems. "You've come too far and I think you're smart enough to make the right choice. And you can always call me if you need to talk. You know that."
"I know," Haley whispered, grabbing Brooke's hand and squeezing it lightly. "I'm just afraid I won't fit in. Everyone will be so much more experienced than me…"
"Well, you won't know until you get there, right?" Brooke told her, hoping somehow she could ease her mind. "But while we're on that subject," she paused, feeling her cheeks begin to burn when Haley looked up at her in confusion. "Okay, now I know you're more responsible than most adults, but as your older, more experienced sister, I feel that it's my job to talk to you about this."
"Oh, god," Haley said, her eyes widening when she realized where Brooke was going with this current conversation. "Please, please don't give me what I think you're going to give me."
"I, I have to, Haley," Brooke stuttered, feeling it was her big sister to duty to make sure Haley was aware of her surroundings and understood what was going to happen. She knew this was going to sound so ridiculous, giving her 17-year old sister a sex talk, but someone as innocent and inexperienced as Haley was bound to be an easy target. "Now you're probably going to go to parties and you know, dare I say drink?"
"Brooke, please stop this," Haley begged, feeling more uncomfortable than Brooke was. "You really, really don't have to do this. I get it, I get where you're going with this."
"But, but I just want to make sure," Brooke told her, shifting her position so she was now looking at Haley. "It's mostly because I'm not going to be there to watch out for you and kick anyone's ass that says something to you." Haley nodded slowly and figured she owed it to Brooke to listen to what she had to say. She meant well, she really did, but this sort of talk would have been better if she were 13. "Um, okay so, you're at a party with tons of hot guys. They could be football players, hockey players, or, or oh, god, basketball players. But my point, so, blah, blah, blah you meet a guy, you hit it off and everything. So, you go back to his room and he wants, well you know what he wants you to do. Look, Haley, my point is, just don't let anyone make you do something you don't want to do, got it?"
"You mean like what happened with Nathan?" Haley pointed out softly, unable to stop the words from coming out of her mouth. Brooke sighed and cursed herself for what she had just said moments ago.
"Wow, ouch, okay I walked into that," Brooke agreed, ruffling Haley's hair a little before choosing her words carefully. "I just don't want you to get hurt again."
"I won't," Haley told her confidently, "I won't let myself get hurt again. That, that's all in the past."
Brooke sighed and flopped down on the couch, flipping through that latest issue of Cosmo she had just received in the mail. She made a face when she found none of the sex articles interesting. Tossing it down on the coffee table, she smiled slightly when Haley came down the stairs, looking just as bored.
"Haley baby, will you entertain me?" She asked sweetly, watching as Haley sat down next to her. "Please, please, please?"
"Well, I was going to go talk a walk. Want to come?" Haley asked, shrugging her shoulders when Brooke made a face. "Don't be a fat ass, come on," she said, grabbing Brooke's arm and pulling her up with all her strength.
"I can't believe you just called me a fat ass," Brooke hissed, pulling her arm away from Haley's grip once they got out the door. "I'm in better shape than you and yet you still have a better body," she trailed off, not wanting to get depressed on the first day of summer vacation.
"So, I'm about to do something stupid," Haley began, linking her arm through Brooke's and sighing when Brooke stopped short once they turned the corner. "Now before you get upset and go all big sister on my ass, I need to know that you'll let me do this."
"It all depends," Brooke stated, watching as Haley closed her eyes as if she knew exactly how Brooke was going to react. "What are we going, no, what are you going to do?"
"Brooke, I, I have to do this," Haley said, looking up at her sister to see if she was still paying attention. Brooke raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms, motioning for Haley to continue. "Okay, so, I'm going to see Nathan."
"I'm sorry, what?" Brooke asked in confusion, wondering if Haley really said she was going to see Nathan. She knew how bad that ended last time and was starting to think her sister was going crazy. "I don't think so."
"Well I do," Haley told her confidently, ready to finally face her fears again. This time was going to be different. This time she wasn't going to breakdown in front of the one person that could make her fear for her life. "I have to, Brooke. I have to face him again and not let this thing hang over my head for the rest of my life."
"Are you sure that's a good idea? We all know what happened last time," Brooke reminded her kindly, remembering how horrible that night was for both her and Haley.
"I'm sure," Haley reassured her as confidently as possible. "I just want to make sure you'll wait for me while I'm in there?" Brooke looked at her skeptically as they linked arms and began to walk again. "Please? I really need your support."
"Fine, Hales," Brooke sighed, "but if you leave that jailhouse in a hysterical mess I'm going to tell you I told you so."
"Deal," Haley agreed, pulling Brooke along with her as they began the short walk to where Nathan was living for the next 4 years. Haley didn't know what possessed her mind to even think to go and visit Nathan. It had been pretty clear the last visit that she was incapable of handling Nathan face to face. She let all of his nasty words sit in her mind for days and began to wonder if he was really right.
"Now, are you sure you want to do this?" Brooke asked, tugging back at Haley's arm once she began to climb the steps of the jailhouse. "I mean like, 100 percent sure that you really, really want to do this."
"I'm 100 percent sure," Haley repeated, breaking her arm free and opening the door. She began to think Brooke was more afraid than she was. "Okay, so you'll wait right here?"
"I'll be here," Brooke told her with a slight waver in her voice. She gave her a quick hug and watched her disappear after conversing with the officer at the desk for a few minutes. She sighed heavily and took a seat, just praying it was all going to be over soon.
Haley took a deep breath as she followed the two officers down the long and winding hallway. She remembered being so freaked out the first time and refused to let herself feel that way now. She was supposed to be strong and be able to prove to everyone that she had put this all behind her and that she wasn't going to let this incident hang over her head for the rest of her life. The officers led her to a booth and she felt her heart begin to pound when they told her they'd be back with Nathan. She waited patiently, contemplating whether or not this was such a good idea now.
Seconds later, she heard a movement and looked up to see Nathan sitting on the opposite side of her. He face was pale and it looked like he had gained a bit of weight since the last time she saw him. Nathan stared back at her, his face emotionless as he watched her pick up the phone with a steady hand. This was definitely not the Haley James he remembered from his high school days. And this certainly wasn't going to be like the last visit they encountered months ago.
"Hi," she said once he picked up the phone, her tone clear and confident.
"What are you doing here?" He asked gruffly, staring at her new appearance. She looked hot; he wasn't going to deny that. "You look nice," he found himself complimenting her look and couldn't help but laugh when she blushed.
"Brooke kind of gave me a makeover," she told him, laughing in spite of herself. "She told me the Tutor Girl image was so last year."
"Well that Tutor Girl image got you into Yale," He pointed out, chuckling lightly when her eyebrows rose in confusion. "Ah, my mom told me. She's been filling me in on what's been going on."
"Oh," Haley whispered, shaking her head and trying to think what she originally came here for. "Um, I know you probably have things to do but I just wanted, I don't know I just wanted to come see how you were doing."
"Why?" Nathan asked in somewhat shock. "The last time you came here you told me I ruined your life." Haley opened her mouth to protest but he quickly cut her off by holding up his hand. "And you were right. I did ruin your life and you had every right to yell at me like that."
"Nathan, I-"
"I don't want your pity, Haley," Nathan snapped, banging his hand on the table. Haley looked taken aback and stood her ground. "Why the hell are you really here?"
"To prove to you and to everyone else that I can move on from this," Haley bit back, watching him freeze in his seat. "Yeah, Nathan you did ruin my life. But you know what? I'm slowly getting over it and I'm not going to dwell on it for the rest of my life. People still treat me like I'm sort of porcelain doll because of this or whatever. I'm here to prove to them I'm far from fragile and that I'm capable of moving on. Yeah, so I still feel a little bit uncomfortable around guys, but that's normal right? You don't want my pity? I don't want your pity either. Don't look at me and pretend that you're sorry because I know you're not. I know why you wanted to this and I find it sickening."
"What do you want me to say to you then?" Nathan yelled, rolling his eyes when the officers told him to keep it down.
"Nothing," Haley told him simply. "I don't want you to say anything. You have 4 years to think about that."
"Fuck, Haley," he yelled again, getting frustrated with the James girl. "I'm sorry! Is that what you want to hear? I'm sorry," he whispered, looking down at his hands. Haley sighed and felt speechless, trying to rack her brain for something to say. "I don't expect you to forgive me."
"I can't," Haley finally said, her voice cracking. He nodded his head empathetically and braced himself for that answer. "I'm just going to go."
"Wait," he said as she stood up. "Is Brooke with you?" Haley slowly nodded her head and sat back down. "Could you tell her I want to talk to her?"
"Uh, sure," Haley hesitated, beginning to wonder what Nathan wanted to talk to her sister about. She scrutinized him and watched as he became uncomfortable under her watchful eye. He quickly turned his head away and cleared his throat. "Well, um, have a nice life, Nathan."
Haley hung up the phone and slowly got to her feet, pretty proud of herself that she lasted through a whole conversation with Nathan tear free. She couldn't help but smile when she reached the waiting room and saw Brooke immediately spring to her feet.
"All set?" She asked cautiously, trying to decide if Haley looked like she had horrific experience or not. "Everything go okay?"
"Yeah," Haley nodded, crossing her arms fixing her gaze to the floor. "Nathan, Nathan wants to talk to you."
"What?" Brooke asked in disbelief, raising her eyebrow when Haley repeated herself. "What the hell does he want to talk to me for?" Haley shrugged her shoulders and took a seat, motioning for Brooke to go. The brunette took a deep breath and made her way into the room.
"Hi."
"What to do you want, Scott?" Brooke hissed, sending a glare right through the glass.
"Haley won't forgive me," he said, as if he we somewhat surprised. Usually Haley had a good heart but this was unacceptable. "I tried apologizing-"
"You mean to tell me you're actually surprised she won't forgive you?" Brooke laughed, shaking her head when Nathan shrugged his shoulders. "God, Nathan, you ruined her life. You really did", she whispered, closing her eyes and trying to stop the tears forming in her eyes. "After that terrible night, I watched her fall apart and there was nothing, and I mean nothing I could do about it."
"I'm actually surprised you cared," Nathan shrugged, resorting back to his old cocky self. He listened to Brooke gasp on the other end and couldn't help the disgusting smirk forming on his face. "Come on, Brooke. We both know you didn't give two shits about your sister before this all happened."
"Oh, go to hell," Brooke yelled, lowering her voice when the person next to her stared at her. "Is this what you called me in for? To tell me how horrible I treated my sister before you did this?"
"Maybe," Nathan told her, the grin still on his face. Brooke wished the glass wasn't there so she could reach over and smack that ugly grin right off his face. "Actually, I just called you in here to tell you that when I get out of here, I'm coming back for her. I'll be in her life whether you two like it or not."
"Over my dead body," Brooke hissed, making sure he got her point. She felt a chill go down her spine when he fell silent, looking down at the table.
"It's your funeral then," he finally said, giving her one last smirk before hanging the phone up and getting up to his feet, not even bothering to look at the shock and horror plastered all over the brunette's face.
"I know, baby," Brooke shuddered, Nathan's words still ringing in her head. She never told Haley what they talked about on their little visit, for fear she would resort back to her old ways. Surely he didn't mean it and by the time he was released, who knows where they would be. "Well, we should probably go say bye to Taylor. I think she's leaving soon."
"Okay," Haley whispered, a little sad that Taylor wasn't going to be there for her tomorrow. It wasn't her fault that her move in day fell on the same day as the anniversary mass for her deceased niece. Taylor still wouldn't talk about her and even though they tried to ask questions, she would brush them off and quickly change the subject.
They got a little desperate and went to Ben, in hopes he could at least tell them about the infant that was once their little niece. They learned her full name was Emily Lynn and she was born a few weeks premature. She unfortunately inherited Nathan's piercing blue eyes but resembled Taylor everywhere else. The adoption was an open one and the adoptive parents, Mark and Lily Brady would often send Taylor pictures, letting them know how well Emily was doing.
"You know she'd be there if she could," Brooke told her, gently nudging her with her shoulder. Haley smiled sadly and felt horrible for even feeling jealous that Taylor was going to the mass rather than help her move in. After all, Haley had been through so much with Taylor and needed her there tomorrow. "But, um, you can't really hold this against her."
"I'm not," Haley snapped, letting out a sigh when she realized the harshness in her voice. Brooke looked a little taken aback and waited for her to continue. "Let's just get this over with," she said, grabbing Brooke's hand and pulling her up with her.
"No, no, one of my sisters is allergic to seafood," Taylor groaned, placing her hand on top of her head and pacing around the room. "Ben, I thought you already planned out the menu!" She motioned for Brooke and Haley to sit down and finally hung up the phone minutes later. "Don't ever get married," she told them with a laugh, pulling up a seat and looking at her two sisters. "So, what's up?"
"Uh, nothing," Brooke said, sending a look towards Haley's way, telling her to wipe the pout off her face. "We just wanted to say bye before you left."
"Oh," Taylor sighed, her face falling when Haley stared at the table. "Hay, are you sure you're okay with this? I mean, I know it's your big day and everything but-"
"It's fine," Haley cut her off with a smile, "it's fine. You have to do this and I'll be fine. Besides, you can always come help me move out," she laughed, suddenly feeling relaxed for the first time in a few weeks.
"You bet," Taylor laughed, reaching over and giving Haley a hug. "Well, I really should get going before I miss my flight. Okay, so, Brooke I never thought I'd hear myself saying this, but please, take care of everything tomorrow?"
"I will!" Brooke groaned, wondering why Taylor never trusted her. Maybe it was because the last time Taylor left the two of them alone Haley cut herself and Brooke nearly flew off the handle. "God, could you at least give me the benefit of the doubt."
"Come here," Taylor hissed, throwing a sweet smile Haley's way before grabbing Brooke's arm and dragging her into the living room. "Look, you and I both know what happened last time. You know she's not taking her medication when she's supposed to be and I don't want to get a phone call from whoever telling me she's slit her wrist."
"Alright, fine," Brooke sighed, flopping down on the couch and watching as Taylor did the same. "How do you know she's not taking her Prozac?"
"Because when I went to go get it refilled, the pill bottle was still half full," Taylor whispered, looking back into the kitchen to make sure Haley was still out of ear shot. "Brooke, I really am trusting you with this. I need to make sure you'll take care of her and everything else tomorrow."
"Trust me," Brooke stated confidently, taking her sister's hands into her own and squeezing them lightly. "I'll talk to her and see what's up. If anyone can get through to her, it's me."
"I'll go talk to her first and then you can work your magic," Taylor told her, "I'm going to see if she'll really tell me the truth or if she'll just lie. She really has to stop this."
"Just go easy on her, Tay," Brooke informed her, watching as her older sister headed towards the kitchen. "She's scared enough as it is."
"Hey, Hales," Taylor greeted lightly, rejoining her at the table. Haley looked up at her and smiled in slight fear, knowing that Taylor was going to ask her something. "I know I shouldn't even be asking you this, but, have, have you've been taking your Prozac?"
"I," Haley began, letting out a sigh when Taylor gave her a look. Haley felt absolutely horrible lying to her and she couldn't help but give in to the caring look on her sister's face. "No," she whispered, fixing her gaze towards the table and waiting for the yelling.
"Oh, Haley-bub," Taylor sighed, taking a deep breath and trying to keep calm throughout the whole conversation. "Why not, honey? You know you're supposed to take it and it's supposed to be helping you with your cutting."
"But, Taylor, I don't really need it!" Haley defended, crossing her arms in annoyance. "It just screws with my mind and it keeps me up at night. I'm fine without it."
"Did you take it the night you last cut yourself?" Taylor asked softly, hoping Haley wouldn't blow up at her in any second. She knew how Haley hated talking about the subject and she was just hoping she'd cooperate this time. Judging by the silence, Taylor had answered her own question. "Haley, you really have to start taking it. I'm really counting on you to take it, especially when Brooke and I won't be there to ride your ass about it."
"I'm sorry," Haley apologized, mustering the best smile she could. "I really am, Tay."
"I know you are, baby," Taylor whispered, pulling her chair closer so she could wrap Haley in a hug. "So, is Brooke talking out of her ass again or are you scared about going to school tomorrow?"
"A little," Haley blushed, making a mental note to kill Brooke later for spilling about her fears about Yale. Taylor couldn't help but laugh and ruffled her hair. "I know. I'm such a baby."
"Actually I was scared too when I first went," Taylor told her, nodding her head when Haley looked at her in disbelief. "Don't worry, Hay, it's normal. You'll be fine and I'll make sure I'll call and check up on you."
"Okay, thanks," Haley smiled, giving Taylor another hug and sighing when she heard the front door open and Ben calling out Taylor's name. "Well, you should go."
"He can wait," Taylor laughed, motioning for Ben to go away when he came into the kitchen. "Promise me you'll stay on top of things?" Haley nodded her head and was going to try her best to keep up with things. "Good," she whispered, placing a quick kiss on her forehead before giving her one last hug. "You'll be fine tomorrow, okay? I'll call you when I'm there and you can tell me everything."
"Alright," Haley whispered, laughing softly when Taylor hugged her again. "Taylor, you really should go. I don't want you to miss your plane."
"I know, I know," Taylor sighed, holding Haley tighter when she felt her sister pull back. She gently ran her hand up and down her back and couldn't help but get a little teary eyed. "I still can't believe you're going to Yale," she sniffed, "just be safe and don't forget about us okay?"
"I won't."
"Good," Taylor told her, finally pulling back and wiping her eyes. "I love you, Haley-bub," she whispered with a smile, giving Haley one last kiss before heading into the living room to say her goodbyes to Brooke.
xxxx
"Okay so be honest," Brooke began, taking a quick bite of macaroni and cheese before continuing. "Who are you going to miss more; my macaroni and cheese or me?"
"Hmm, that's tough one," Haley giggled, pretending to launch into deep thought. She took a few bites of her dinner before shrugging her shoulders. "That's a real tough one but I'm going to have to say your macaroni and cheese."
"Brat," Brooke hissed in mock sadness. Haley shot her an apologetic look before licking her bowl clean and getting up for seconds. Brooke shook her head and watched her practically scarf down her third bowl. "So, I think we need to talk again."
"It's not another sex talk, is it?" Haley asked in mid-bite, dropping her fork into the bowl and suddenly losing her appetite. Brooke laughed and shook her head, shuddering at the thought of ever having to do something like that again.
"Like I said, just protect yourself," Brooke said quickly, watching Haley's face wrinkle in disgust. She took a deep breath and was willing to face any bitter remarks Haley was going to through at her. "We need to talk about you and your Prozac," she whispered, shutting her eyes when Haley let out a huge sigh.
"Brooke, Taylor already talked to me about this," Haley snipped, crossing her arms and wondering if her sisters were ever going to drop this subject. "It screws with my mind and I really don't need it. I can stop myself from cutting! I don't need some stupid medication to help me!"
"Yes you do," Brooke told her firmly, remembering the night Haley last cut herself. "You didn't take it that night you cut yourself baby, you and I both know that."
"I'm gonna go, okay?" Brooke said softly as she came down the stairs, letting out a sigh when she saw Haley curled up on the couch looking bored. It was Friday night and Brooke hadn't been to a party in ages. She felt bad for leaving Haley all alone, but she already promised Peyton she'd go with her. "What are you up to for the rest of the night?"
"Nothing," Haley replied simply. It's not like she had any friends to hang out with. "I'll probably just stay in and watch a movie." She watched Brooke sit down next to her and pat her leg gently as if she needed to be pitied.
"Now I feel bad," Brooke sighed, trying to get Haley to look at her. It had been a few weeks since they had a falling out and even though Brooke tried everything in her power for things to go back to normal, Haley still remained distant. "I'll stay home if you want."
"No, no. Go to your party and have fun," Haley told her with a fake smile, secretly hoping Brooke would catch the lie. "Don't worry about me."
"Alright, baby," Brooke whispered, leaning forward and kissing Haley's temple. "Don't have too much fun without me."
"Oh, I'll try not to," Haley laughed sarcastically, watching as Brooke headed to the door. "Hey, Brooke, could I, could I maybe come with you?"
"Sure," Brooke smiled, reaching out her hand for Haley to take. She heard Peyton beep and smiled when she felt Haley's hand in her own. "I need a date anyways," she giggled, dragging her sister towards the car.
Peyton greeted Haley with a smile and was glad to see Haley slowly making progress and finally being able to move past the events that affected her young life. They arrived at Tim's party and both girls couldn't help but feel a bit overprotective when Haley wanted to go and mingle on her own. They both eyed her carefully as she began to talk to the captain of the hockey team. Peyton made sure to keep a close eye on Brooke just incase she decided to make any sudden moves.
"I don't know whether to be happy or to go over there and kick Brendan's ass for talking to her," Brooke wondered, fiddling with her cup. Peyton laughed and just hoped Brooke would go for the first choice.
"Just relax, Brooke. She's fine and Brendan's a nice guy," Peyton reminded her kindly, taking a sip of her drink and nudging Brooke with her hip. "Come on. You're not going to spend the rest of your night watching Haley are you?"
"Just for a few minutes," Brooke told her distantly, rolling her eyes when Peyton let out a sigh. "Peyt, come on. You know the last time Haley went to a party she got drunk off her ass and revealed some pretty heavy shit."
"Alright, you win," Peyton said, officially giving up. She smiled slightly when Lucas was making his way over. "Um, I'm just gonna go get another drink. I'll see you later?"
"Okay, yeah," Brooke said, silently cursing at her for leaving her alone with Lucas for the time being. Lucas gave Peyton a small nod and hoped Brooke wouldn't brush him off before he could say anything. "Hey."
"Hey," Lucas replied softly, realizing Brooke's gaze never left her sister. She watched Brendan's hand rub Haley's arm up and down and she had to stop herself from storming over there and cussing him out. "She's come a long way, hasn't she?"
"Yeah she has," Brooke smiled proudly, tearing her eyes away from her sister just for a second to look up at Lucas. "I think if this happened 6 months ago she'd be freaking out. But now, now look at her."
"It's all because of you," Lucas told her truthfully, gently nudging her hip with his own. Brooke shook her head in disagreement but reluctantly let him continue. "Come on, give yourself more credit than this. Would you honestly think Haley would be here, talking to a guy, if it wasn't for you?"
"I don't know," Brooke whispered, suddenly becoming fascinated with the liquid in her cup. It was so weird to have a civil conversation with Lucas seeing as every time they got together they would end up yelling and screaming at each other. "So, are you ready for Duke?"
"Ah, I guess," Lucas shrugged, shoving his hands in his pockets. He was offered a full scholarship, much to the delight of Karen. "Haley's going to Yale, right?"
"She got into Harvard and Princeton too but Yale is where she wants to go," Brooke told him with a nod. He smiled, knowing that Yale had been Haley's dream school since she was in the 8th grade. "Peyton's going to some fancy art school in New York, You're going to Duke, I mean even Bevin's going somewhere! I'm going to be stuck with Dim at Tree Hill Community College."
"At least you'll know someone," Lucas offered with a laugh, watching her dimples come out when she smiled in amusement. "Are we, are we good now? You haven't yelled at me yet," he joked, knowing she caught the light tone in his voice when she hit his shoulder.
"Yeah, we're good," Brooke found herself saying before she felt his arms wrap around her shoulders. It was a start, but it still wasn't going to change what he did. "I'm sorry for being, for being such a bitch to you," she whispered shamefully, slowly looking up to stare at his blue eyes. "You were only trying to help with Haley."
"I don't think it was my place to interfere," Lucas replied, his voice just as soft as Brooke's. "How's she doing with, well you know."
"Better," Brooke told him, suddenly becoming alert when Tim's drunken self came stumbling over. Lucas fixed his gaze over to his drunken teammate and placed his hand on Brooke's arm just incase she decided to do anything stupid.
"Tutor Girl!" Tim yelled obnoxiously, throwing his arm around a very tense Haley. He looked up at Brendan and couldn't help but laugh. "You better be careful with this one man. Dude, touch her the wrong way and she'll throw your ass in jail for attempted rape."
"Brooke, don't," Lucas instructed, pulling the angry brunette back. "Not yet." Haley shook Tim's arm off of her and tried to ignore all the stares coming from everyone in the room.
"She's a head case too," Tim continued, taking a sip of his drink and accidentally spilling some of it on the front of Haley's shirt. Brendan did his best to get Tim to shut his mouth but the basketball player was too drunk for his own good. "Dude, look at her wrists," he pointed out, grabbing Haley's arm and pushing up her sleeve to reveal the scars she kept hidden. "Poor little Tutor Girl cuts herself because Brookie doesn't love her."
Haley immediately pulled her arm away and ran out the front door, ignoring her name being called by Brooke. Lucas let Brooke's arm go and watched her run out after her while he went over to Tim, who was currently being pushed around by Brendan. The other people at the party began to whisper and Peyton felt herself wanting to go and punch every single one of them when they started to laugh.
"Haley, wait," Brooke yelled out after her sister, trying her best to keep up with her. Haley ignored her completely and picked up her pace, her house only a few blocks away. Brooke sighed heavily and cursed herself for wearing heels to the party. "Haley!"
"Leave me alone," Haley snapped, turning around for a split second to send Brooke the best glare she could muster. She was trying to hold in her sobs for once she got home, but Tim's words were ringing through her head and pretty soon the tears were cascading down her pale cheeks.
"Baby, please," Brooke pleaded, finally catching up with her hysterical sister. She grabbed her arm roughly and pulled her back, preventing her from any further movement. "Don't listen to Tim. He's an idiot."
"Yeah, well now the whole school knows," Haley yelled, dropping her arm from Brooke's grip and staring at the ground. "I have to be alone right now," she whispered, slowly backing away and watching as Brooke followed her.
Brooke let out a frustrated sigh and figured it was just best to leave Haley alone for the time being. She watched her run down the street again and just hoped she wasn't going to do anything stupid. As soon as that thought entered her mind, she cursed loudly and ran after her, hoping to get home before Haley could do anything she regretted. By the time she reached her house, she was breathing heavily and felt a shiver go down her spine when she saw the bathroom door slammed shut.
"Haley?" She whispered, gently knocking on the door. She could hear muffled sobs coming from the other side and began to bang louder. "Haley I'm coming in, okay?" She didn't bother to wait for a response and found herself trying to open the door. Her heart skipped a beat when it was locked and now she began to panic. "Haley, open the door."
"No, Brooke, leave me alone," Haley said, loud enough for Brooke to hear. "Just go away." She rummaged through the drawers and pulled out the razor and stared at it. The knocking turned into pounding and she found herself unable to hold the object in her hand. "Please go away."
"Haley open the door now!" Brooke yelled, trying her best to jiggle the door knob but nothing was happening. "Haley, I'm serious!" She pounded the door, trying everything in her power to get it to open. "Haley!"
Seconds later, Brooke heard the front door open and heard two sets of footsteps barreling up the stairs. A very out of breath Lucas and Peyton appeared, immediately at their shook up friend's side. Peyton gave her a reassuring hug and felt her body tense up as soon as her arms left her.
"What's going on?" Lucas asked, placing his hands on his knees and panting heavily. When Brooke filled them in, he felt himself banging on the door, his knock more forceful than the brunettes. "Haley, come on open the door!"
"Oh my god, we have to get that door open," Brooke cried, bringing her hands to her face and pacing around the room, fearing the absolute worst. Lucas rammed his shoulder against the door, wincing when the door didn't budge. He took a deep breath and did it again, all three of them gasping when they saw the sight in front of them.
Haley watched the blood trickle off her arm and stain the white-tiled floor. She was in her own little world and didn't seem to notice the door being flung open. Brooke was at her side in an instant, dropping down to her knees and trying not to watch as the blood dripped onto her skirt
"Oh, no, no, no, baby," Brooke whispered, taking Haley's wrist in her hand and gazing down at the wound. It seemed to be a lot deeper than the other ones. Although she never saw Haley cut herself, she knew how deep Haley liked to cut.
"We'll, uh, get her some new clothes," Peyton whispered for fear that either James sister was going to turn around and bitch her out. She dragged a reluctant Lucas out of the room and purposely took her time searching for Haley's pajamas.
"Why would you do this?" Brooke suddenly snapped, standing up to her feet and dropping Haley's wrist out of her grip. She grimaced at the blood stains on her bare knees and couldn't help but fight the bile rising in her throat. "Haley, you were doing so good with your therapy and, and you just fucked it all up!"
"Don't yell at me!" Haley yelled, watching the hot tears drip onto her wound. She cradled her injured wrist and felt her body began to shake. "I don't want your help if you're going to yell at me!"
"Haley, this is ridiculous!" Brooke continued to yell and watched as Haley fixed her gaze to the puddle of blood. She rummaged through the medicine cabinet for the first aid kit, cursing when she couldn't find it. "Did you take your medication?"
"I forgot," Haley whispered, wincing when Brooke let out a frustrated groan. She dared to look upwards and couldn't help but cower away when Brooke came closer to her.
"You forgot?" Brooke yelled, officially flying off the handle. Peyton and Lucas listened contently from down the hall, both of them wondering if they should go in and stop Brooke before she gave Haley's ass a beating. "Oh, well that's just so god damn wonderful, Haley! Taylor leaves us alone for one weekend and you have to go and cut yourself. Great, like she's really going to trust us from now on."
"Brooke, stop!" Haley whimpered, nearly falling off the toilet seat when Brooke slammed the drawers shut once she found the first aid kit. "Stop yelling at me," she cried, furiously wiping her eyes with her good arm.
Brooke knelt back down and suddenly felt absolutely disgusted with herself when she saw the look of terror written all over Haley's face. She saw how tiny and vulnerable she looked and couldn't stop herself from reaching up and hugging Haley tight, not even realizing the blood was staining her white shirt red. They didn't speak, but each sister knew the other one was sorry as they held on tighter, Haley eventually falling off the toilet seat and into Brooke's lap.
"Here are the clothes," Peyton said quietly, stepping into the bathroom after witnessing the situation unfold. She watched as Haley held onto Brooke tighter as Brooke sent a thankful smile her way when she reached up for the clothes. "Want us to wait outside?"
"Please," Brooke whispered, patting Haley's back as a reminder to kindly get off of her. Lucas sent her a sympathetic look before shutting the door behind him, slumping down on the floor next to Peyton. "Baby, you have to get up so I can clean you up."
Haley quietly complied and slowly sat back on the toilet seat, turning her head away when Brooke began to clean her up. The next thing she knew, her current shirt was being tossed aside and new one was being put on her. Brooke slowly lifted her to her feet and helped her step into the pajama pants before leading her away from the puddle of blood inches away from her now bare feet. Brooke slowly opened the door and motioned for Peyton to come in.
"Can you just take her to bed while I clean this up?" She asked in a low whisper, feeling Haley grab her hand from beside her. Peyton nodded and slowly wrapped her arms around Haley's waist, letting out a little sigh when Haley pulled back. "No, no, it's okay," Brooke told her, rubbing her arm lightly. "I'll be there in a few minutes, I promise."
She watched sadly as Haley reluctantly let Peyton guide her out of the room and away from her sister, the one person she needed the most. Once they were out of view, Brooke collapsed into a mess of tears and quickly grabbed the towel from the rack and threw it over the blood. She finally looked down at her clothes and let out a gasp at the spots of blood all over her.
"Brooke," Lucas whispered, snapping her out of her trance. He gently lifted her to her feet and held her tight as she sobbed into his chest. He ran a comforting hand up and down his back while she pressed her fists into his chest as if she wanted him to let go. "Go be with Haley, I'll finish this up."
"Thanks," she murmured, pulling back and wiping her eyes. He smiled at her and gave her a small nod. "Could, could you just do me one favor? Downstairs, downstairs is her Prozac, could you just grab that? It's in the cabinet above the microwave and be sure to bring up a glass of water," she called out to him when he headed out of the room.
She made a detour to her own room and stripped herself down, tossing the bloody clothes across the room, never wanting to see them again. She wiped her knees with the face cloth she brought with her and tossed that aside too. If Haley was resorting back to her old ways than she was going to have to make sure it stopped before it went too far.
"Well, if it wasn't for that night you and Lucas wouldn't have gotten back together," Haley shrugged, pushing her bowl forward and sighing when the doorbell rang.
"We'll finish this later," Brooke told her, playfully pushing her head to the side when she walked by her. She opened the door and an instant smile graced her face when she saw Peyton and Lucas standing there. "Hey guys," she greeted, reaching up and giving Lucas a quick kiss on the lips before moving aside so they could get in.
"We just wanted to say bye to Haley," Peyton said, inviting herself into the kitchen and taking what was ever left of the macaroni and cheese. "Aw, look, it's like our last meal together, Hales!"
"Shut up," Haley snapped, reaching forward and grabbing the bowl from Peyton's clutches. "Are Brooke and Lucas mauling each other in the living room?"
"Aren't they always?" Peyton laughed, sticking her fork into the bowl and ignoring the glares from the other blonde when she took a bite. "So, Yale, huh? Tutor Girl's hitting up the big Ivy League school. Are you excited to get out of this shit hole?"
"Oh yeah," Haley lied, forcing a smile when the couple came into the kitchen, taking the two seats on the opposite side of Haley.
"I would offer you guys some dinner but the human vacuum ate it all," Brooke laughed, nudging Haley's shoulder and frowning when she rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on, it was a joke, Hales."
"Ha ha," Haley laughed sarcastically, pushing the chair out and standing up to her feet. She quickly looked at Lucas and sighed when he was staring at her in concern. "I have to go finish packing, I'll see you guys later." She left no room to protest and the next thing she knew she was collapsed on her bed with Mr. Waffles.
"Are you taking him with you?" Brooke asked with a laugh, her face falling when Haley didn't respond. She walked over to the bed and sat down next to Haley, poking her side a little and watching as she jumped in surprise. "You still don't like him, do you?"
"Brooke, it's your choice or whatever but if I were you I would have never gotten back-"
"Stop," Brooke cut in, putting her hand up in defense when Haley tried to continue. "It's all in the past and what's done is done. He was there for me that night when you, you know what you did and something just happened, okay?"
"Yeah well Peyton was there too and I don't see you jumping into bed with her," Haley snipped, letting out a sigh when Brooke groaned.
"Haley, he was the one all through high school that tried to make me leave you alone."
"You never listened," Haley mumbled, remembering all those times she would hear Brooke bitching to whichever hoe posse member was available that moment. "God, Brooke, don't even bring up high school."
"I don't want to fight with you on your last night here," Brooke whispered, cautiously lying down next to her sister and running her hands through her hair. Lucas and Peyton had told her they'd come back later if Haley was up to it. "I know how much you hated it baby, but it's all over now."
"Do you know what's not over though?" Haley began, watching as Brooke shook her head. "All those terrible memories of the days where you felt like being a bitch to me and watched as your hoe posse teased the living shit out of me. But the one that I always think about was when you would be nice to me when they weren't around and then turn into a bitch when they were."
"Haley-"
"No, Brooke," Haley cut her off, "I know you remember this one too. That time where I bumped into you and you were being nice and helping me pick my books up and then Theresa came over and you just started bitching at me for no reason. And, and you let her talk about mom and dad like that…"
Haley cursed loudly as she did her best to walk around the lazy students who were enjoying taking their sweet old time going to their lockers. It was Friday afternoon and Haley wanted to get to her locker before Brooke and her hoe posse cornered her and watched her squirm while they picked apart her clothes and whatever book she was reading that week. She seemed to be home free as her locker came into sight but was soon letting out a sigh when she bumped into somebody and felt her books fall out of her hands and all over the floor.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, bending down to gather her books and nearly falling backwards when she saw the other person bending down to help her.
"Don't worry about it," Brooke smiled, handing Haley's last book to her before getting up to her feet. Haley was waiting for the bitching to ensue and was overly surprised when Brooke just stood there. "So, um, how was your day?"
"Brooke!" Theresa yelled from the end of the hallway, waving her arm frantically once Brooke looked up at her. Brooke sighed and watched the band of cheerleaders come closer and surround the two James sisters. "What the hell are you staring at Tutor Girl?"
"Nothing," Haley whispered, taking a step forward and hoping Brooke would move out of her way so she could avoid the potential humiliation. "I was just going."
"Hold on," Brooke suddenly snapped, launching into her role as the bitchy head cheerleader. She pushed Haley back and listened to everyone snicker when she nearly fell over. "Don't walk away from her."
"It's kind of rude," Theresa added, stepping next to Brooke and knocking Haley's books out of her hands. The other cheerleaders giggled and watched Haley tense up. She wished Peyton was there to make this all stop because Brooke would never swallow her pride and stop it. "Didn't your parents teach you anything?"
Brooke winced. That was taking it a step far and she felt her heart stop when Haley's gazed fixed to the floor. She knew she was trying to hold it in but a part of her was wishing she would break down right there so she would have an excuse to comfort her.
"Um, Theresa, stop," Brooke whispered, sending a glare towards one of her cheerleaders. "That's too far."
"Oh, come on, Brookie," Theresa laughed, "you said it yourself. Your parents were too busy always working because they didn't want to deal with Haley and her constant whining. They hated her just like everyone in this school does." Brooke immediately shook her head when Haley looked up at her in surprise, her eyes already filling up with tears. "They were ashamed of her, weren't they?"
"Shut up," Brooke and Haley hissed at the same time. Theresa laughed and nudged Brooke in the shoulder, gesturing for her to watch the tears fall down Haley's cheeks.
"They hated her just like your brother and sister hate her," Theresa hissed, utterly enjoying herself as the other cheerleaders watched on in somewhat pain as Haley took deep breaths and tried not to let her win. "Just like you hate her and just like the rest of the god damn world hates her."
"Theresa, I'm serious. Shut up," Brooke snapped, locking eyes with the co-captain. The brunette merely giggled and pushed on.
"Stop defending the less fortunate. God, Tutor Girl, why do you even live your life anymore? You've got nothing to live for and I'm almost one hundred percent sure no one would miss you. I bet your parents would ignore you up in heaven and Brooke wouldn't even go to your poor little funeral. No one would."
And that was it for both Brooke and Haley. Brooke hated herself for letting it get too far and she didn't know why she could never ever stop it before it escalated into so much more. She would just sit back and watch her little sister being teased and tormented by one of her close friends.
"Back off right now and go start practice." She finally lost it and grabbed Theresa by the arm and flung her towards the gym. The other cheerleaders quickly compiled and Brooke nearly went after Theresa when she kicked the books away as Haley bent down to pick them up. She bent down herself to help her sister and couldn't help but hate herself as she heard Haley's small sniffling.
"No, no, get away from me," Haley protested as Brooke tried to give her a hug. She pushed her backwards and quickly picked up the few remaining books before shoving them into her messenger bag.
Brooke went to say something but stopped when she saw Haley take off down the hall and disappear into the girl's bathroom. She slowly walked towards the gym and gripped the door handles tightly, tapping her fingers on them in deep contemplation. She hit the door lightly and turned around on her heel. The next thing she knew, she was pushing the bathroom door open and bracing herself for the worst when she heard the loud sobs coming from the only locked stall.
"Hales?" She whispered, shutting her eyes and trying to block out the crying. This was all her fault and if she took her foot out of her mouth, she would have been able to stop this. But no, she had to sit back and just watch it unfold. "Haley-bub come on, I'll take you home."
"You have cheerleading," Haley remarked scornfully, feeling Brooke's presence outside the stall. "I wouldn't want you to miss that."
"Fuck cheerleading," Brooke told her bluntly, smiling slightly when the stall door opened and Haley stepped back so she could move into the tiny space. Her eyes were all red and puffy and Brooke watched her sit back down on the toilet and place her head back in her hands. "Are you okay?"
"Of course," Haley replied bitterly, sniffling loudly and picking her head up to look at her sister. She looked regretful and sorry as hell and Haley couldn't help but lean forward and hug her. "Why would she say something like that?"
"Because she's a bitch and none, I mean none of those things she told you are true," Brooke said, making the stern tone in her voice clear. "None of them are true." Haley sighed and fell silent, freezing when she heard the bathroom door open.
"Brooke? Are you in here?"
"Um, yeah, yeah I am," Brooke rose to her feet and unlocked the handle and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Bevin standing there. She told her to hold on for one second and grabbed Haley's hand before pulling her out of the stall. "You can just tell the other girls that practice is cancelled. I, I need to deal with some stuff at home."
"Oh, no problem," Bevin whispered, forcing a smile when she saw Haley shy away when their gazes met. "I'll, I'll tell her."
"Thanks Bevin," Brooke smiled and gently tugged on Haley's arm so she'd walk with her. Bevin couldn't help but rub Haley's shoulder when she walked by and just hoped one of these days the tormenting would stop.
"You know how horrible I felt after that," Brooke said in defense, trying to keep herself calm throughout the whole conversation. Haley sighed and couldn't help but nod her head. Brooke did stay with her for the rest of the day and made sure it got in her head that she was wanted and would be indeed missed if she were to ever leave.
"I know," Haley whispered, grabbing Brooke's hand and squeezing it every now and then. She was going to miss this so much; just lying in bed and talking about random things. Granted, she hated talking about her high school days but now that it was over, she was ready to put the past in the past and leave it all behind in Tree Hill. "I'm sorry for bringing it up. I didn't mean to."
"Well I'm sorry for letting it all happened," Brooke apologized, patting Haley's head with her free hand before the two fell silent. "I'm really going to miss you tomorrow," she whispered, hoping not to upset Haley. "I wish I was going with you."
"You should have studied more and had sex less," Haley teased, laughing when Brooke hit her with the pillow that was resting comfortably underneath her head. "But like you said, it's a good chance to start over and I don't know if I want you in my new life."
"Well," Brooke gasped, getting off the bed and slapping her thigh in the process. "I wasn't even going to be in it anyways. I hope you have fun tomorrow and if we're lucky we'll never see each other again!"
"Aw, Tigger you know I love you," Haley laughed, patting the now empty space next to her. Brooke sighed dramatically before stalking back to the bed and collapsing onto it next to her sister.
"I know and I so call being mayor of your new life," Brooke giggled, shaking at her head at actually being able to run Haley's so called new life. Haley nodded her head in agreement and suddenly felt upset again. "God, what's wrong with you now?"
"I'm going to miss you and your stupidity," Haley told her, a smile gracing her lips when Brooke gave her a goofy grin. They both knew it was late but if Haley went to sleep, she knew the minute she woke up the next morning she would have a panic attack. "Can I be a baby and ask you this?"
"You're always a baby," Brooke teased, becoming serious when Haley grunted and shot her a look. "What are you going to be a baby about and ask me, baby?"
"I, I want you to stay with me tonight," Haley whispered, "I mean I don't want you to it would just be nice since we won't be seeing each other until November and I just would feel much better if you were right next to me."
"God, stop rambling," Brooke groaned in mock annoyance, reaching over and slapping Haley's thigh. "I'll only stay with you tonight because I'm not staying with you tomorrow night, that's for damn sure."
"I wasn't even going to ask you so shut up," Haley said in defense, rolling her eyes and crawling under the covers. Brooke laughed and got off the bed to shut the light off before climbing back in next to her sister.
"Yeah you were."
"Brooke shut up, I'm trying to sleep," Haley mumbled, her voice muffled by her pillow. "I don't need you to come stay with me, god I'm not that dependent on you."
"You're so cranky when you're freaking tired. Shut up and go to sleep," Brooke commanded, quickly kissing Haley's temple before moving around to get comfortable. "I love you and everything but you really are dependent on me."
"You can't be mayor of my new life anymore," Haley whispered, shutting her eyes together when Brooke gasped in shock. "Night, Brookie." She found herself snuggling closer to Brooke and smiled slightly when Brooke draped her arm around stomach and held her tight.
xxxx
"And you are officially unpacked," Brooke announced, clapping her hands together when Haley shut the dresser drawer. "I really think you packed the whole house."
"Well I didn't know what to bring!" Halley half yelled, blushing a shade of magenta when the people walking by stared at her. Brooke shrugged her shoulders and sat on the bed, making a face when she felt a spring stab her butt. "My mysterious roommate seemed to bring her whole house too."
"She looks like a bitch," Brooke mused, staring at the various pictures scattered around Haley's roommate's desk and dresser. Haley rolled her eyes, having heard this ever since they walked in and spotted the bright pink comforter. They decided she was a total girly girl and for the past hour Brooke had deemed her a bitch.
"Brooke you can't tell if she's a bitch or not by looking at the pictures she has. You don't even know which one is her!"
"I can spot a bitch a mile away," Brooke told her matter-of-factly, grabbing one of the pictures and pointing to a random girl. "And this girl is a bitch."
Haley gave up the will to fight and flopped back down on her bed, her eyes immediately widening when she a girl she assumed was her roommate walked in. She had platinum blonde hair and looked like she was a long lost Hilton sister. Brooke tried not to laugh at her horrible orange glow due to her fake tan.
"You're my roommate?" The girl asked somewhat snootily. Brooke shook her head and couldn't help but feel the need to watch her carefully. This girl was like Theresa 2.0 and she wasn't surprised when Haley nodded her head nervously. "And what are you like her lover?" She said, turning to Brooke and adjusting her sunglasses on the top of her head.
"Close," Brooke smiled sweetly and got ready to use the claws. "I'm her sister actually but good guess. I can tell you put a lot of effort into that conclusion." This was not happening Haley thought. The last person she saw Brooke bitch out was Theresa and she just hoped Brooke would hold it in and not cause a rift between her and the wannabe Hilton.
"I'm, I'm Haley," she said with a gulp, staring at the floor when awkward silence filled the air. Brooke sighed and watched as the blonde rolled her eyes.
"I'm Britney but don't expect us to be friends or whatever. I used to own girls like you in high school and if you think for a second we're going to be seen hanging around together you've got another thing coming." Without another word, she pushed her sunglasses down over her eyes and left the room, missing the look of surprise and rage plastered all over Brooke's face.
"Great!" Haley moaned, throwing her hands up in the air and falling backwards on the bed. Brooke shot her a sympathetic look and continued to stare at the door. "I've known her for 30 seconds and she already hates me!"
"I'll be back," Brooke told her quickly, waving her off when Haley began to protest. She excused herself as she weaved in and out of various boxes and people as she made her way down the hall after the roommate from hell. "Hey, Barbie!"
"Britney," she corrected forcefully.
"My bad," Brooke apologized, shrugging her shoulders and going on to tell her how easily she could mix the two names up. "Look, I don't know who the hell you think you are but you can't just cut my sister off like that."
"And who the hell are you to tell me what to do?" Britney asked, removing her sunglasses, much to the thanks of Brooke who was getting ready to rip them off any second and tell her she was indoors. "She's a little geek and it's painful to look at her."
"Whoa, whoa, that 'geek' you're nicely referring to is my little sister," Brooke informed her, getting ready to bring out the old Brooke James that Haley hated all throughout her Junior year of high school. "You have no right to judge her like that."
"Whatever," Britney rolled her eyes and adjusted her coach bag. This was going to be a lot harder than Brooke thought and she was trying to keep calm. "I went to high school with girls like her. I know her kind and believe me when I say this; I enjoyed torturing little pathetic losers like her. It was only right, letting them know where they stand."
"Okay, I was the same exact way," Brooke admitted, nodding her head when the blonde's fake blue eyes widened. "Yeah, even to Haley, my own flesh and blood. I would tease and torment her until I made her cry. I enjoyed it too until she was almost fucking raped by the star basketball player."
"Oh, I didn't know."
"Yeah, there are a lot of things you don't know about her," Brooke began, inching closer and closer and watching Britney inch backwards until she was up against the wall. "My sister has a lot and I mean a lot of stuff going on in her life. My parents died when she was 12 and since then she's been battling depression. If that's not enough, she's on medication for to help her stop cutting herself."
"I really am sorry, I didn't know," Britney whispered, feeling absolutely horrible after she made an effort to bitch Haley out and give her the cold shoulder.
"I know," Brooke whispered back, suddenly feeling herself go soft when she saw the look of concern on Britney's perfectly made up face. "Yeah, so, if I ever hear you making fun of her for whatever reason, I'll drive up here and personally kick your ass. Got that?"
"I've got a damn heart you know," Britney snapped, breathing a sigh of relief when Brooke reluctantly stepped back a few feet. "I'm sorry for being a bitch, okay? I've never been friends with someone like her and it's a little weird."
"She's not weird," Brooke told her forcefully, making sure it got into the bimbo's head. "You should really get to know her before you start judging her."
"Fine," Britney relented, putting the white flag up. "I have to go get my books; I'll talk to her later and apologize, okay?"
"You better," Brooke snapped, watching as she began to walk away. "It was nice meeting you!" She called out sweetly once Britney turned back to look at her. Brooke happily skipped back to the room and couldn't help but smile widely at Haley. "You're all set!"
"Brooke, what did you do?" Haley asked with widened-eyes, fearing the absolute worst. "You, you didn't bitch her out, did you?"
"I had to!" Brooke yelled, shaking her head when Haley let out a large groan. "But don't worry everything is sorted and she's going to apologize when she gets back from buying whatever she said she was buying."
"Thanks," Haley sighed, getting up to her feet and giving Brooke a tight hug around the middle. She knew she would be leaving soon and definitely didn't want Brooke to go on bad terms. "I know you were just trying to help."
"I had to do big sister duty at least once while I was here," Brooke laughed, rubbing her hand up and down Haley's back before pulling away from the embrace. "Okay," she began sadly, sitting down on the bed next to Haley. "I should go if I want to make it back home while it's still light out."
"Oh, yeah," Haley whispered, sharing a tearful smile with Brooke. "Thanks for everything. Even though you didn't have to threaten to kick my roommate's ass, I really do appreciate it."
"No problem," Brooke told her, grabbing her hands and squeezing them. "I know I shouldn't even be bringing this up, but you've got your medication right?" Haley nodded and pointed to the small orange pill bottle resting next to her laptop. "Okay, good. And, and you're good with not hurting yourself?" She swung Haley's wrist back and forth a bit before dropping them to her knees.
"Yeah," Haley said with a nod. Brooke caught the waiver in her voice and immediately sat up straight in concern. "I'm not going to hurt myself, Brooke. I promise."
"Good," Brooke smiled and kissed her forehead before getting to her feet. "Please don't cry, baby, I don't want to walk out of here looking like a mess with my mascara running all down my face."
"Then don't look at me," Haley said quietly, standing on her tip toes and resting her forehead on Brooke's shoulder. They were both prepared for this and now that it was really here, neither of them wanted to say goodbye. Brooke let out a small groan and wrapped her arms around her sister. "Do you really have to go?"
"I do," Brooke told her sadly, holding her tighter and trying to bite back her tears. They held each other for a bit longer before Brooke finally pulled back and looked away when Haley wiped her eyes. "You'll be just fine and you can call me whenever you want to talk, got that?"
"Got it," Haley laughed through her tears before giving Brooke one last hug. She had to let her go now because if she didn't, she'd be walking right out the door with her. They said one last goodbye and Haley sat on the bed and watched as Brooke slowly made her way over to the door. "I love you, Brooke."
"I love you too, baby," Brooke turned back and smiled at her. She gave her a small wave before taking a deep breath and walking out the door and choosing never to look back. She had to let Haley grow up someday and that day was today.
xxxx
Brooke threw the remote in frustration when she found nothing on TV. Haley had been at school for about a week now and she herself had started school, hating the fact that Tim was in most of her classes. Taylor flopped down beside her and sighed at how quiet the house was without Haley. They both missed her the same and had to fight the urge of driving 8 hours to see her.
"I miss the munchkin," Brooke sighed, leaning to the side and resting her head on Taylor's shoulder. "God, it's so quiet without her."
"I know," Taylor wrinkled her nose and never appreciated Haley's big mouth until she was gone. "So how was everything? You made sure she had her stuff?"
"Yes, Taylor," Brooke told her for what felt like the hundredth time since Taylor got home. "She's got her Prozac and she told me wasn't going to hurt herself."
"I just still can't believe she's at Yale," Taylor mused, shaking her head to rid herself of the daze that was coming on. "Our little Haley-bub is 8 hours away and, wow, she's just on her own and I just can't believe it."
"Aw, speak of the devil," Brooke smiled when she saw Haley's name flash across her cell phone. She flipped it open and was eager to hear her voice. "Hi, baby, how are you?"
"I want to come home."
"Haley," Brooke laughed, "you haven't even been there a week, you can't come home already." Taylor raised her eyebrows and told Brooke to put her on speaker phone so she could hear it too. Haley grunted and both older James girls made a face when she sniffled loudly. "What's wrong?"
"I don't know!" Haley cried on the other end, holding Mr. Waffles tight and just hoping her roommate wouldn't come back and see her like this. "I don't like it here."
"It just takes time," Taylor told her softly, hoping that would ease Haley's mind. "Where's your roommate? How come you're not hanging out with her?"
"She went to a party."
"Oh, Haley-bub it's thirsty Thursday, you should be out there with her," Taylor laughed, just picturing the horrified look on Haley's face. "Come on, don't you know that saying? Live it up, drink it down."
"Shut up," Haley mumbled, letting out a small whimper when they continued to laugh. "I really want to come home. Can you please come get me?"
"We're not coming to get you," Brooke told her with an eye roll, shaking her head when Haley groaned. "Why don't you do your homework or something?"
"I already did it," Haley said quickly, "I just really, really, want to come home. Coming here was just a big mistake and I just want to be home with you guys. Please?"
"Haley, it was not a mistake. It's just going to have to take some time getting used to," Taylor sighed and flopped back on the couch, trying her best to control the situation. She felt horrible for expecting Haley to call them in a mess of tears. "You just need to do something to take your mind off things."
"Yeah," Brooke agreed, trying to think of something for Haley to do. "Why don't you go hang out with that girl you were telling me about earlier? What is she doing?"
"I don't know, Brooke!" Haley yelled, wishing she was at home to slap some sense into Brooke. "All I know is that I want to come home! I'll take a bus if I have to."
"Haley stop crying and listen to me," Taylor began, waiting patiently as Haley tried her best to control her tears. "I know it's a scary and I wanted to come home at first too, but once you meet people you're going to love it there."
"No I won't," Haley replied bitterly, pouting like a little 5-year old. "Fine, I'll just sit here and be a depressed teenager. I won't bother you anymore."
"Oh, Haley stop," Brooke groaned, feeling her patience running thin with her sister. Haley sighed and cleared her throat before waiting for Brooke to go on. "It's all in your head, baby. You're fine and you don't need me or Taylor to come rescue you. You're on your own now and I know that's scary but you'll be just fine."
Taylor and Brooke both sighed when Haley went on one of her famous rambling sprees and began to complain about the food, no hot water in the shower, the bitchy neighbors she had and anything else she could think of, anything to make them feel bad. Taylor finally grabbed the phone from Brooke and took her off speaker phone, pressing the cell phone up against her ear.
"Fine, Hay, you want to come home? You can come home," Taylor told her honestly, pushing Brooke away when she looked at her in surprise. Haley sniffled on the other end and couldn't believe what she was hearing.
"Are, are you serious? I can really come home?" Haley asked cautiously, wondering if Taylor was just pulling her leg. When Taylor told her she was serious, Haley couldn't help but smile.
"Yeah," Taylor began, motioning for Brooke to stop trying to listen in. "I'll tell you what, tomorrow morning you can go withdraw from the College. After that, you can call me and I'll come pick you up. How does that sound?"
"Good," Haley agreed, deciding that Taylor was being real and not just trying to fake her out. Taylor on the other hand just hoped that her youngest sister would fall for the reverse psychology she tried using on them for years and years. "Okay, I'm really doing that."
"That's fine with me." Brooke still sat there in confusion. Was Taylor really telling Haley she could come home? After all the talks Taylor gave Brooke about letting Haley grow up and be on her own, Taylor was doing the exact opposite. "But when you're home, you're going to have to get a full time job and pay rent. Also, you're not sitting on your ass all night either. You can take classes at THCC, okay?"
"Oh," Haley whispered, cursing herself for falling for Taylor's stupid plan. After all those years she finally became immune to it and for the first time in ages, she had fallen for Taylor's crap reverse psychology. Brooke couldn't help but laugh when she saw the satisfied smirk on Taylor's face, knowing Haley had fallen for it. "I, I um think that maybe I'll just stay here."
"I think that's the best idea," Taylor laughed, listening as Haley sighed on the end, probably beating herself up for believing her. "But I'm going to go, okay? You'll be fine Haley-bub and things will get better." She quickly said her goodbyes before passing the phone to Brooke and disappearing out of the room.
"All better now?" Brooke asked, feeling half convinced with Haley's inaudible mumble. Brooke couldn't help but sigh herself and she was telling herself that it was for the best, Haley being on her own and so far away. "If I could, I'd come up there with you, but I can't. Besides, it's good for you to be on your own, branch out and meet new people."
"I know," Haley said quietly, fiddling with the teddy bear's arm. "I just wish I wasn't so far away, you know? At least if I were close by I could come home anytime or you guys could visit. I don't know if I can last until November."
"Yes you can, baby," Brooke told her, slumping down on the couch and resting her head on the arm. "You have to believe in yourself and stop putting yourself down. It's not good for you or your self-esteem."
"I can't help it," Haley admitted, flopping back down on the bed and pulling the covers over her. She must have looked pretty pathetic, already dressed in her pajamas, homework done and snuggled up in bed at 8 O'clock. "I'm just lonely."
"I know you are," Brooke sighed, trying to think of the right thing to say to make her sister feel better. But so far she was coming up short. "I'm lonely too. Everyone's gone and it's just me, Taylor, Dim and Karen. Just make some friends and you'll be all set," Brooke added in, hoping to wrap up the phone call before she started crying. "But, baby I'm gonna go cause I have stuff to do, okay?"
"No, no, can't you just stay on a little longer?" Haley asked shyly. If she knew Brooke then she knew she would instantly say yes. At least that would make her feel better for a few more minutes. "Please, Brooke?"
"Haley, I really have to go," Brooke told her sadly, trying to block out the whimpering coming from Haley. She was probably going to burst into tears again but Brooke had no choice, she couldn't baby her for the rest of her life. "Haley, stop. You're going to be fine and I don't need to stay on the line with you. I really think you're old enough to be by yourself," she told her lightly, biting her lip when Haley snorted. "But, I left you something in your desk drawer so read that and maybe that will make you feel better."
"Fine," Haley sniffled, wiping her eyes and throwing the covers off her.
"I'll call you tomorrow," Brooke promised, making a mental note to remember after she got out of her last class. "I love you, baby, I always have. Bye," she whispered, listening as Haley said her last words before she hung up the phone, tossing it aside and wiping her own eyes once Taylor came back in.
Haley slowly crawled out of bed and turned on her bedside lamp, rummaging through the top drawer of her desk before pulling out a single piece of paper. It was about a half of page with Brooke's big, bubbly writing all over it. She grabbed her glasses and sat back down on the bed, taking a deep breath as she read to herself.
Haley-
I don't even know if I'm going to give this letter to you or not, but if I do, then here it goes. I know we got off on the wrong foot once high school started and I am so unbelievably sorry for brushing you off like that. I never meant for any of things to happen; the Theresa thing, the whole making fun of you and just plain ignoring you. I completely understand you hating me for all that and if I were you, I'd hate myself too. I still can't believe you forgave me and that's something I'll never forget. You've got a big heart, baby, and I'm so lucky to have you for a sister. Although you're far away, we'll always be together no matter what. I love you with all my heart, I always have and I always will. There's nothing you could ever do to make me stop loving you. I have so much faith in you and I know you'll get past this depression and you can beat it, I know you can and me and Taylor are here to help you whenever you need it.
I guess, I just really wanted to write this to apologize again for all that crap I pulled in high school. I never, never should have teased you and I never should have let my squad torment you until you cried your eyes out. I still remember the look on your face that day Theresa started going off about mom and dad and I don't think I'll ever be able to forget how devastated you looked. It broke my heart, baby, and it kills me to think I would ever let something happen like that. I know I've said it days on end, but I really am truly sorry and if I could take it all back, I could. But I can't and so this is why I'm writing this and hopefully the next paragraph can explain how sorry I am. I love you and I know you'll have so much fun at College. Just try not to forget about your awesome big sister back home in Tree Hill, okay?
Haley couldn't help but laugh at the last line as she pushed up her glasses to wipe away the tears forming in her eyes. She wasn't prepared for the next paragraph but the next thing she knew, her eyes were traveling down the page and she was locked on the first sentence.
I talk to absolutely no one, couldn't keep to myself enough. And the things bottled inside have finally begun to create so much pressure that I'll soon blow up. I heard the reverberating footsteps sinking up to the beating of my heart, and I was positive that unless I got myself together, I would watch me fall apart. And I can't let that happen again 'cause then you'll see my heart in the saddest state it's ever been.
You might think I'm losing my mind, but I will shy away from the specifics... I'm sorry for the person I became. I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change. I'm ready to try and never become that way again 'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.
She stared at the last line, the very last line on the page. It was simple yet so meaningful. Haley continued to gaze at it in somewhat fascination. Brooke just explained her feelings perfectly and Haley couldn't help but agree with the one line.
"Me too, Brooke, me too," she mumbled, taking one last look at the letter before putting it back in her desk for another day. She crawled back into bed and stared at the ceiling, making a promise to herself from this day forward.
She was never hiding behind lying eyes again.
Song used: "Who I am Hates Who I've Been," by Relient K.
So, there it is. It's all over and I know the whole thing probably stunk, but it was just totally off the top of my head. I didn't know what I wanted to do with this chapter and I just wrote whatever came to me.
Now, I know some of you might be mad about the BL reunion, but I had to give Brooke a happy ending somehow. Even though they look happy now, it won't be in the sequel as you'll see why in the first chapter.
The whole Emily thing kind of…well it kind of threw me off the deep end. I didn't know what to do with the whole thing and I wrote myself into a hole with that one. So I'm really sorry that I didn't do anything with her, I just, I guess I just couldn't think of anything and didn't explore the whole concept of it.
I've got the whole sequel planned out pretty much so hopefully I can finish the first chapter ASAP. It's a lot more sadder than this and what I've got planned for each of them, Haley especially, will hopefully surprise you. Nathan does come back as does a few others who I want to remain a surprise.
I just want to thank you all so much for all the reviews. Even though this story annoyed the crap out of me towards the end, I would have never done it if it wasn't for you guys. So, thanks again and I really appreciate each and everyone of you who took time to leave a review.
So, keep your eyes peeled for the sequel, "Lonely People Tumble Downwards," sometime in the future. Thanks again!
Kristin