Disclaimer I do not own Hellsing, so you no sue -

Thanks for the reviews! I know, I know…it's been a while since I updated, but I do hope you enjoy this chapter!

ani05terstVIP- um…thank you….?

littlesnowfarie- Thank you for the comment!

LaLaGurl- hummm….why yes, yes, he DOES do something evil!

Geraniums- thank you. I hope you read the rest of the story!

AttackingHentaiChibisLoveFluff- hummm…let us explore that in this chapter, shall we?

sephirothjr- Thanks for the review! I agree and yes, I will keep updating!

grey daze- Thank you! I like Alucard/Integra as a couple too

tipper- :smiles: I'll have to keep that hint in mind.

Cid Dante- Integra donate blood? Humm…that's not a bad idea…that's not a bad idea at all. Thanks for the review.

There is a lot of stupidity and OOC, so please don't shoot me. But it is funny. Enjoy chapter four don't forget to review!

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Chapter 4 "Bubble Gum, Blood, and Fear…Oh My!"

One down and 19 more to go… Alucard sighed slightly. And this was just the first day…

Leaning against the wall, he studied the next person. Jennifer Anders, age 23. A loud popping sound resounded though the small room and he glanced up.

"………"

"So…are you like…the guy that draws the blood?"

"………"

"Hello Are you even alive?"

Now that was a funny question and THAT drew forth a response. "I'm alive enough," he snapped. The young woman took a step back, jaw slowly chewing the spearmint gum in her mouth. Alucard stared at her in disgust. She wore black. All black. Black denim jeans, a small black tank top with "bite me" written in white in the center and black make-up. It was as if she dunked her face in black paint and let it dry before adding another layer. Three piercing on each ear and a lip piercing completed the outfit. Electric dyed blue hair drew Alucard's eyes away from her deep emerald ones. Alucard sniffed slightly; she was a vampire-freak. Defiantly.

"Anders," the semi-shocked vampire stammered out after a few seconds of silence. If it was the night of the new moon one would not be able to find her…and he was still in debate if that was a good thing or not.

The woman nodded her head.

"Uh. Good…" Alucard shook his, clearing his thoughts and motioned for her to sit on the gurney. She complied, hopping up almost happily.

He sighed softly and did just what was expected. Cleaning her arm, he stopped suddenly and looked up only to find her staring at him intently.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing. I was like, wondering why you're dressed like that and um, ya know…"

Alucard's eyebrow twitched slightly. No, he didn't know. 'If I did, I wouldn't have asked,' he screamed at her in his mind.

Instead, he answered her with another question. "Are you sure you're 23?"

Jennifer looked at him as if he was a well, vampire, and she a vampire-hunter. "Oh my God! YES, I'm 23," she screeched. Alucard winced slightly.

"Alright. Alright, no need to yell."

"Humph!"

A sigh. The distressed vampire didn't know how much longer he could stand of this. The next time he saw Integra, he would either kill her or beg forgiveness…

"Alright. I'm sorry…"

"You better be," the human said icily. Alucard suppressed a shudder and continued working. Reaching for the needle, he was about to draw blood, but remembering what happened last time, decided to warn her.

So, just as the nurse told him, he duly warned her. However, the way he worded it…

"Okay, Ms. Anders… I am now going to stab you with this needle and draw blood," he muttered, holding her arm tightly. Emerald eyes widened a bit as he expertly grabbed the syringe and slid it into her arm. She bit back a whimper as the blood left her body. When done, he glanced back at the arm. A quick thought of Integra beating him in the head with her silver ashtray slipped into his mind, but decided that it was worth it. He was hungry and hadn't gotten anything to eat yet…

"I'm afraid to tell you we'll have to take another half unit," he said, drawing the blood before she had time to protest. Jennifer blinked as the needle was once again removed from her arm.

"Um…"

Alucard's sunglasses slipped down and he studied her face a bit before placing the blood on the small tray. "That'll be it," he assured, staunching the wound so it would not bruise. The young woman blinked.

"Uh…"

Alucard waited half patiently for her to form a coherent thought and use it in a sentence.

"Wow," she finally chirped after about a minute of thought. She brushed blue strands out of her face, smiling. "That was a lot less painful than what I thought it would be. Hey listen, sorry for snapping at you before," she finished, hopping off of the gurney. She wrapped her arms around his middle in a tight, yet friendly hug. The vampire stood there, trying not to twitch. A human was…hugging…him…

'Master…I'm going to murder you,' he thought once more, this time with even more anger. Jennifer's eyes snapped open as she felt the animosity coming from him. In a single step, she was across the room and speeding down the hall, screaming her head off. Alucard blinked.

"………" Ah, well. She was unstable anyway.

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Integra sighed, waited a few seconds, and sighed again. It was…

Bliss.

"Walter! Come here for a second, will you?"

Hellsing's butler walked into the library seconds after being called. Integra didn't even blink. She had grown used to the Retainer popping out of nowhere.

"Yes, Sir Integra?"

Icy blue eyes studied the John Bull and a grin broke out on her face. "Can you hear it?"

Walter blinked slightly, his head tilted. "Hear…what, Sir?" He was becoming quickly confused at her behavior, but decided not to question it.

Integra laughed. It was a giddy, childish laugh, most unlike her. "Just that, Walter! Nothing!" The butler blinked once more, thoroughly confused.

"If you…say so, Sir." Sir Hellsing smiled at him and shook her head.

"The Manor, my dear friend. It is silent. There's no screaming, no insane laughing…it even feels lighter!" She rose from her chair and walked past him, still smiling. "Why didn't we think of this sooner, Walter? With Alucard gone for the day, we can…can…"

"Go out?"

"Yes! That's a wonderful idea!" Integra practically skipped to the door. "Let's go. I'm sure Seras can take care of the manor while we're out for the day. Oh wait…let's go see Alucard!"

Walter followed her wearily with his eyes. 'Alucard…please come back soon…this is…horrible.'

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Alucard stared at the blood for a few seconds before picking it up. Looking around to make sure nobody was near, he downed the blood, licking his fangs once he was done. The vampire sighed slightly and tossed the empty container into the biohazard trash bin, a grin on his features. If he kept this up, he'd easily be full. Looking at the list, he sighed softly once more. 18 left…18.

The vampire leaned once more against the wall and stared intently at the list. One Miss Julianna Grey. Alucard growled softly. 17 years old. He sighed and hung his head, remembering when Integra was 17. He thought he had died again and gone to Hell…again.

Shaking his head, he glanced at the clock, checking the time. Alucard snorted. Humans and their pitiful reliance on time…

Just as he looked down, he came face to face with a beautiful, light-skinned, young woman. Light blond hair fell to her shoulder blades. She wore a spaghetti-strap bright cream-yellow camisole, khaki capri pants, and sparse touches of make-up. But her most striking feature was her eyes. They were a light, crystal blue that one could easily get lost in.

"Uh."

She held out her hand, smiling, perfect teeth flashing. "Hi. I'm Julianna Grey."

"Um…"

The teen continued smiling as she waited patiently for him to speak.

"Hell…o…Hello." Julianna glanced around slightly before smiling back at him.

"So are you, um, you know…the guy that's gonna draw my blood?"

A nod.

"Okay!" Alucard quickly snapped out of it and watched her slip up onto the makeshift bed.

The vampire slowly moved over, still staring intently at her. Julianna moved a few stands of loose hair out of her face and behind her ear as she tilted her head, glancing curiously at him.

"Are you okay? You look kinda pale…"

Alucard blinked. "I don't get out much," he answered smoothly. The vampire once again started with the mundane cleaning of the arm and drawing of the blood. And, just as before, he drew another half unit extra.

Julianna smiled warmly at him. "Thanks. That was really easy. I mean, this was my first time getting my blood drawn, but I heard that it really hurts. You must have been doing this for quite a while. It was so easy."

The vampire turned slightly, grinning sheepishly. "It was, uh, n-nothing," he stuttered slightly. The teen's fingertips brushed lightly against his arm and he jumped. Julianna stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek.

"Thank you," she said again, smiling. Alucard shook his head.

"It was nothing," he repeated, softer this time. The vampire glanced up as she waved.

"Well, it was nice talking to you," she chirped before walking off.

Alucard shook his head once more, clearing his mind. What had come over him? Growling to himself, the vampire grabbed the half unit of blood and started drinking.

However…

"ALUCARD!"

Eyes wide, the vampire jumped, dropping the blood. Staring at his enraged master meekly, Alucard forced a small smile.

"H-Hello, Master…" His voice trailed off as Integra advanced on him.

"I KNEW you couldn't be trusted! That's it…I didn't want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice!" She reached into her jacket pocket and produced a black collar with a small box on it. Alucard tilted his head and stared at it.

"Um…" The vampire blinked. "May I ask what that is?"

Integra stalked over to the shrinking vampire and clasped the collar on him. "Shut up," she growled and pressed a small button on a similar black controller. Alucard jumped as a small shock ran though his body.

"Ow…what IS that?"

"Something to control your drinking problem."

"I DON'T HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM!"

Another shock.

"OW! STOP IT!"

"Not until you calm down."

"Fine. I'm calm…see?" Alucard crossed his arms and glared evilly at Integra, who was trying not to laugh.

"Good," she said, composing herself. "Now...I suggest you get back to work."

Alucard growled darkly at her before looking back at the list. A small smirk crept upon his lips.

"Oh…what do we have here? Integra…"

He glanced up at her as she turned back, slightly confused.

"I suggest you wait. In fact, I suggest you go sit there." He nodded his head towards the gurney.

Integra snatched the list from Alucard, staring intently at it.

Sir Integra Wingates Hellsing, Leader of the Hellsing Organization, Protector and Knight of the Protestant Church, Queen and Country, Master of Monster; Alucard…

…was to donate blood…

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How was that? Good, bad, just okay? Review and tell me your thoughts! Sorry to leave it as a cliffie like that…but those that know me and have ready my other stories know I love to torment my readers by this method. I hope you enjoyed this chapter…

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