Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. Inuyasha is a brilliant concept, and sadly enough, I am not brilliant (sob sob)

A Cool Kind Of Punishment
- Chapter Seven : Reality Check

Mr. Tsuyame (1) carelessly parked his car in the garage. Entering the house, he dropped his suitcase and swiftly made his way up the stairs.

It was close to midnight and he had come out of a meeting with one of his clients. Turning on his phone, he had found he had received a voicemail over three hours ago to pick up his daughter… from the Izuki Estate. Wondering what she was doing there, he had driven his way over, certain she was fine. Upon arriving, the elder Izuki child walked out to meet him, only to hand him Rin's favorite white skivvi top, torn and covered in blood.

"She ran home in the dark, alone" were the child's words.

Not thinking to ask him what had happened (2), Mr. Tsuyame had run back to his car, clutching the rags and had rushed home.

What had made her run home alone? She had her own mobile, she could have called him! Where was she? She could have been attacked, mugged, raped and murdered!

All the horror stories he had heard from other parents began to echo in his head. Despite Rin not being his blood relative, she was his only family. She did not mind the fact they did not originate form he same source, if anything, she loved him more all for it.

He opened the door to her bedroom, slowly, fearing he would not see her familiar lump in the blankets.

Mr. Tsuyame sighed, relieved.

There she was, sleeping peacefully. As he had not done in a long time, he made his way over to her bed and pulled the blanket back slightly.

Rin's eyes were red and puffy, as though she had cried for at least an hour on end. Seeing the purple bruises on her shoulders, he pulled singlet up a bit and saw the bandages there along with another purpling bruise further down.

What happened? What had caused the bruising and her skivvi to tear up so badly?

Fears consumed the man. Had she been raped? Beaten up? Was she being bullied?

Rin? Rin? Why won't you wake up?

Diary, do you ever have those moments where everything just comes crashing down on you? And it comes so quick that before you know it, it's all over? And you come out just as well, but you're different, changed and older?

I don't ever wanna grow up, I wanna be able to eat as much as I can without worrying about gaining weight, I wanna be able to splurge at the local ice-cream shop and not worry about bills. My biggest problem the slight blemishes on my face. I don't wanna ever have to let go of my dreams or my innocence.

Oh God, please, give me this at least.

"Rin, wake up honey, please wake up"

I pried my swollen eyelids apart and smiled weakly at my dad.

"Morning, daddy" I whispered. Dad sniffed.

"Morning to you too Rinz" he smoothed my hair back from my face. "What happened last night? Can you tell me?" I smiled at him. I knew this question would come, how could it not, if he had gone to that – that place? My eyes moved languidly around the room and I saw my torn skivvy on my chair, blood coming from odd spots. The shirt, no doubt, would leave more questions.

"Don't worry dad"

"Rin, you have to tell who did this to you, and what happened. Then we can make them pay" I smiled at my dad's mildly panicky voice.

"Dad, no-one did this to me. I was just doing what teenagers do - being foolish"

No, don't use that word. Idiotic, stupid, moronic, anything but foolish. Foolish was – was the word he used…

"Rin? Rin!" I jumped at my dad's voice. "You have a fever, I've called a doctor to check on whatever made you bleed so much as well… did you want to talk about what happened last night?" I stared into my dad's face.

"It was just a bad day, dad" I whispered, struggling not to let my tears take hold of me.

Why now? Why were my eyes wanting to cry? Why did I feel that everything, all the laughter in my life had been childish, naïve and false? All that happened was that reality had hit me. That was all.

Yea, what a joke.

Reality had come at the most inopportune time, hitting me so hard I couldn't breathe.

But was it really so inopportune? Better I had known he was an ass before I figured it out. If I had known before I found out he was an ass (which, to be honest, isn't such a hard thing to figure out) I would have been even more heartbroken.

I laughed. What was so different? I was heartbroken now as well. I laughed to myself again. How silly of me, to fall in love just because he had said something like that. Just because his eyes were like that.

Without even knowing it, I had turned into a girl who loved on the basis of superficial things.

Dad ran his thumb along my hair a few more times more before standing up.

"The doctor is coming soon. I'll be in the kitchen 'til then OK? Don't strain yourself"

Before I could nod, my eyes had slowly come together…

I snuggled closer to Polar…

Wait, where was Polar?

I opened one eye and saw my dad setting a jug of water on my bedside table.

"The doctor checked, cleaned and dressed your wounds. Said the bruises were from a nasty bruise, and your cuts had something to do with trees. Now about your fever, it was just 'cause you were out so late last night, running around as well as something about your body failing you. Just keep hydrated and don't do anything too strenuous. I have to go work, are you alright by yourself?"

I nodded weakly, reaching over the side of my bed for my polar bear. My dad bent down and retrieved it for me, raised my blanket up and placed it in my arms.

"No school today, so relax OK?" he walked out of the room and I distantly heard the car start up and pull out of the drive.

For a few minutes, I tried in vain to regain sleep. I turned on my other side, Polar still in my arms and snuggled into the warmth that was my bed.

I wouldn't have replaced that feeling for anything. Being warm, comfortable, rested, knowing that everyone was at school, suffering lectures… including him.

Suddenly awake and restless, I shoved my blanket to the side and stepped out. I stood, unstable, for a moment, my muscles stiff and aching from running without stretching, sitting and crying for an hour and sleeping in foetus form.

I walked out of my room, into the bathroom, scratching myself.

What? You don't scratch yourself?

You weird, weird person, you.

After washing my face and brushing my teeth (no, for your information, I wasn't still scratching myself. I don't have fleas or anything you know!) I went downstairs, into the kitchen.

At first I made scrambled eggs with sausages and bacon and toast with orange juice. Then for good measure I took out three large packets of chips, a bottle of Fanta, three Twix bars, a bowl of popcorn, a box of crackers, a packet of leftover Easter Eggs, some iced biscuits and made sure there was still some ice cream in the freezer.

There was.

In the end, to carry all the food into the living room I had to make three trips back and forth. It was worth it.

My arms killing me (because a- the eggs were really hot, b- my arms were still aching and c- because they had to carry so much), I crawled over to the TV and started sifting through my beloved DVD's.

I was in the mood for lots of angst, particularly if it had lots of blood, death and where couples who were meant to be never got together.

Yep, that sounded so good.

Most of the movies my dad and I owned were not very angsty at all. In fact, many of them were comedies or action (the tame type, where no one who matters dies). Some were even romances from when I was in the mood for some good inspiration for English.

Don't ask me how that works, it just does.

I looked at my food, then up at the ceiling. In my room, under my bed, there was a lot of anime.

No manga though, this damned manga-deprived country (3)!

My brow creased as I thought. I had a few in mind that I wanted to watch. One was 'X the movie' where Kotari ends up dieing and there was mention of incest. Samurai X, where Kenshin ends up killing his own… well, I won't spoil it for you! Then there was Hellsing, where there was lots of everyone shooting each other.

No relationships, whatsoever (4). Bliss!

But the question was: Eat in my bed, potentially spilling crumbs while watching it on a small screen but being comfortably warm and comfortable? Or walking all the way up stairs to get the precious, precious anime and then walking all the way back and watching it on the big screen on the nice, soft new rug…

My mind made up, I clambered my way up the steps, sneezed a few times while I fished under my bed for the precious, precious (you have no idea how precious, my country also seems to be anime-deprived… NO! You cannot ask me why I chuck all my 'precious' anime under the bed to gather dust and get stepped on!) anime. My hands loaded, I walked all the way back down the steps, threw my anime in front of the DVD player and slotted in Hellsing.

Gotta love the introduction to this series!

Some few hours later, my stock of food was running dangerously low.

I REPEAT: DANGEROUSLY LOW.

Carrying the empty bowl and plate and other stuff back into the kitchen, I quickly cleaned up before raiding the pantry and fridge again.

After much debate, I decided not to have anything healthy for the rest of the day.

Well, that ruled out the apples, grapes and persimmons!

Instead, I grabbed the block of cheese, whipped cream, a packet of Tim Tams, a bottle of Coke, dad's secret stash of Ovalteenies, a packet of cheese crackers… is yoghurt healthy?

Shaking my head I decided to call up Chicken Express to order some food.

After making the call, I lay on my back, rubbing my belly (worry not, there is still plenty of room for the delivery food!) spacing out.

Flinching as the doorbell rang, I scrabbled onto my feet and grabbed my wallet. Opening the door, I took the food with a ravenous smile which is, I think, why the delivery guy looked at me strangely. Tossing him a $20 note, I closed the door.

Just as I had finished my chicken roll (they don't make them like they used to) and had begun on my hot chips, someone knocked on the door.

I glared at the doorknob. Who did these idiots think they were? Did they think they were special enough not to use the doorbell?

I got to my feet and opened up the door angrily.

It was Pristine and Theresa.

"You know I hate it when people knock on the door instead of ringing the doorbell" I said icily.

"We knew you wouldn't open the door to us otherwise" Pristine answered levelly.

Theresa remained quiet. She was staring at some point on me and I followed her eyes.

The bruise on my shoulders had spread almost to my collar bone.

"Shit, Rinz, what the hell did you do to yourself?" Pristine swore.

"You assume that it's my fault?"

"We know you better than that, Rin. Any person who tried to hurt you wouldn't get as far as that" I felt my eyes soften and I invited them in.

"We brought your homework and stuff. And we brought our homework for you to do too, in case it'd make you feel better" Theresa said.

"Why would it make me feel better?" I asked, bemused.

"I don't know. 'Cause you love us and you wanna make us feel better about school today?" Theresa said innocently.

I laughed and we walked into the living room. Although I had taken my plate, bowl and cutlery into the kitchen to clean, the rubbish had remained behind. I sat down between the Twix rappers and the chip packets. Pris and Theresa looked around in horror. I pushed some rubbish into a large pile.

"Sit" I said, gesturing to the spot I had cleared. They sat both sat awkwardly, pulling their skirts to almost reach their knees.

I took a cheese cracker from its packet and covered it in whipped cream before shoving it all into my mouth. Theresa made a noise of disgust and Pristine looked thoroughly revolted.

"How can you eat that?" Theresa asked.

"It's very nice!" How can they not like cheese crackers and whipped cream (5)? Both of them looked like they rather not comment. I finished two more crackers before gesturing for one of them to speak.

"There's been talk" Pristine started, furtively glancing at my bruises. "At first I didn't believe them but your shoulders…"

Typical. Obviously Sesshoumaru told the whole school about my escapade with watching him get changed while in a tree before falling down and probably permanently scarring my back.

Typical.

"Really?" I said, trying to look indifferent by starting on my then warm chips.

"Yeah, Inuyasha was -"

"Inuyasha!" the box of then cold chips dropped into my lap. I hurriedly put it with the rubbish pile.

Inuyasha was the one starting talk? What would he know about it? Did Mr. I-Am-So-Popular-Everyone-Would-Believe-Me say anything?

"Yea… Inuyasha…" Pristine looked at me suspiciously. "What happened, Rin? You ignored my call yesterday afternoon after school, you ignored the one after that, then you pulled the phone line, then you avoid our questions. What is going on?"

"First of all, I was a very, very pissed off Rin and you pretty much made it worst. Don't ever rub in embarrassment" I added to them sternly. "And secondly, when you asked what happened to me, I was still a very, very pissed off Rin. Now tell me the story, and I'll tell you the real version afterwards" I compromised.

"Why should we tell the story first?" Theresa asked. "You might lie to us afterwards. Whereas if you told your story first, you have no real knowledge or base to base it on"

I glared at them.

"I may get really pissed off and yank my phone cord, but I don't lie to my best friends. I'm above that" I said, levelly. Pristine sighed.

"Ok then" she said. She took a deep breath. "Well, the story started up from Inuyasha. He told his girlfriend, Kagome -"

"I know who his girlfriend is," I said irritably "I've been away for a day, not the whole of my life, you know"

"Whatever," Pristine dismissed with her hand, "he told her that he heard a thump outside his home and next thing he knew, his brother a.k.a the Ice Prince was carrying you, splattered with blood, into his room before locking the door. Moans were heard – apparently" Pristine hastily added, seeing the look of outrage on my face.

Moans? What? I could understand if the Ice Prince said I moaned, but Inuyasha? He wouldn't do it for his brother; I now know that they hate each other. But then… why?

Oh right… the pain, turning over… the smell on his pillows…

Dammit. I didn't just say what I thought I said did I? Argh. I don't like him. Honest. I mean, it really was a nice smell…

"Then Inuyasha heard the sound of something tearing" Pristine's voice brought me back to reality. "Then two voices, before Sesshoumaru stepped out to get gauze and a few bandages. Some time later, he heard a scuffle and you ran out, in only a black bra -" why does everyone seem to notice that I wear black bra's all of a sudden? "- blood seeping through the dressings on your back, bruises on your shoulders and lower back, frantically trying to pull Sesshoumaru black singlet on, looking you were about to cry" Pristine finished the story.

I was amazed how un-embellished the story was.

"Did something happen Rin?" Theresa asked tentatively. I was puzzled how worried she seemed to be. I mean, I was only in his room…

… where the door was locked, there were muffled sounds and me running out of the room looking like I wanted to cry.

"Oh" I laughed. "Don't worry, I wasn't beaten or raped or anything!"

Pristine and Theresa both let out breathes that I bet even they didn't know they were holding.

"So then, what did happen?" Theresa asked, almost hesitantly.

"Well, Inuyasha was telling the truth. I'm surprised the story is so… unchanged…"

Pristine and Theresa leaned towards me, looking at me anticipatingly. Playing with them, I put on a thoughtful face. Theresa grabbed my arm.

"Tell us, woman!" Sighing, I started. I never really was good at keeping things in.

"Yesterday, after I chucked a psyche at the world and my computer for about four hours, I decided to start on the job for Kagura" they looked at me, obviously knowing that I was lying. "OK, OK. I-went-to-the-Izuki-Estate-to-steal-a-pair-of-his-undies-and-sell-it-to-the-highest-bidder" I said all in one word.

"Wow" Theresa gushed. "I'm sure you would have made a hefty profit…"

"I know" I said "but then when I climbed a tree to break into his room, I saw him getting undressed -"

Both of them squealed.

"Ooh! Did he have muscles?"

"Did he have any scars?"

"Did he have any birthmarks?" I laughed at Pristine's question. She has this strange idea that her true love would have a birthmark above his belly button in the shape of a star.

"You know, we should all grab the girls at Port Street and have a little party in the tree outside his room while he gets naked" I said sarcastically.

"Can we? I mean, you actually remember where that tree is?" Theresa asked. She and Pris seemed quite serious about my joke.

"You don't actually mean that do you?" I asked in horror. Shaking my head, I continued with the story "So anyway, considering I couldn't break into his room and steal his favourite, most daggiest undies right in front of him, I decided to take a picture of him taking off his jeans, and him in just in his damn underwear. The camera snagged on a tree and I fell, crashing into branches on my way down to glorious Earth" I paused for a bit, wondering if should tell them the truth, or whether I should tell them that I woke up suddenly and ran out of the room in a panic. I looked up at them. They were my best friends, no lies or recriminations… right?

"I was knocked unconscious -" my best friends gasped "and being the valiant Ice Prince that he is, he carried me up to his room, locked the door, tore off my shirt and took the twigs and leaves out of my hair" I said the last bit sarcastically.

Theresa sighed as though she thought this was a romance movie and Pristine looked shocked.

"He tore off your shirt?" I nodded.

"Yea, and he reminded me of how much I hated him by notifying me that I was still wearing my black, Berlei bra" They stared at me with their mouths open. "Yep, and then he threw me a towel and told me to cover myself up while he got the stuff to clean up my back and everything. Then he came back and stared at me for a few seconds and he didn't have his shirt on" Pris and Theresa shared a look "It's not what you think" I said irritably. "When he cleaned my back up, he told me what happened then he said something… do you remember that story I told you about the boy who helped me in the hospital?"

"Yea…" Pristine and Theresa said together, sharing a look yet again.

"Well…" I paused and gulped heavily. I felt curiously empty. "Sesshoumaru was him"

"We…" Pristine paused guiltily "We thought you figured it out ages ago…"

"What!"

"Well… we thought it was kinda obvious. From the description of his eyes and what he said and all…"

I buried my head in my hands.

"I can't believe I couldn't see it" I whispered.

"Of course you couldn't" Theresa took my hands "First time everyone saw him, it was obvious he was not a nice guy"

"Definitely not the guy you had expected of that boy so long ago" Pristine added. "Look, we're still only 15 - we have ages to find 'The One'. Except for Theresa that is"

"What?" I asked, as Theresa blushed. "You mean Triad from Math?"

"Oh please!" Theresa said abruptly. "He is so two days ago!"

If I recall correctly, we never did get back onto the topic of my love life and Sesshoumaru. Instead we spent the next twenty minutes trying to count all of the guys Theresa had claimed was 'The One'. The list reached 87 Theresa fell in love 12 more times before we gave up.

"Bye!" I called out to Pristine and Theresa as they walked away from my home.

Smiling, I closed the door behind me and switched on the radio, before grabbing a towel, a clean pair of undies, a pair of pants, a clean singlet and a new roll of bandages.

I turned to the mirror to take out my hair and grimaced. My hair had not been combed since yesterday afternoon and hung over my scalp in stringy, greasy rat tails. I slowly un-knotted the tails from the plait before combing it out and washing it over the basin. As the last traces of shampoo faded from my hair I rubbed in a hot oil conditioning formula and twisted it into a loose knot.

I started a bath for myself, chucking in a coffee bath bomb and chose to burn honey and vanilla oil essence. I gradually sunk one foot into the hot water, before setting the other in then letting my whole body into the water, gasping as my cuts submerged.

I don't know how long I stayed in that bath. Long enough to sing along to 'I don't want you back'. Lots of swearing in the chorus of that song. Extremely pleasant to shout out the profanities. Then sang along to that song by Pink. Something about 'Being the last to know'. Haha, is it just me or do the titles of the two songs somehow relate to my situation very well? After pondering the matter for a few minutes, I stood out of the tub and rinsed my hair. I changed into the clean set of clothes and bandages in my room. I combed my hair out and lay on my bed, my hair splaying out all over my pillow.

Just as the only wet bits in my hair remaining were the ends, I re-combed my hair and pinned it into a bun with the ends of hair flaring out. When I reached the bottom step I grabbed the cordless and dialed my dads work number. While I waited patiently for him to pick up, I grabbed a paddle pop and began sucking.

"Hello?"

"Hey, dad?"

"Yes? Honey? Is something wrong? Do you need me to come home now?" I laughed.

"I'm fine, dad, I just need you to buy some groceries for tonight… and tomorrow. And preferably stock up for the rest of the week"

After relaying the list to my dad, which took a very long time, I took a bite into an apple and cursed.

Yea, great Rin-Poo – 'vow not to eat anything healthy today'.

The doorbell rang and I walked over to open it.

White hair stood out and golden eyes stared at me.

I shut the door in Sesshoumaru's face.

A/N: sighs in relief it took me EIGHT days to finish this chapter! Which is pretty long considering it only took me three days to finish last chapter. My God. I think I rushed this chapter towards the end, but I think it'd be boring if I added anymore. Unless it were funny, which really, I don't think I can make so. Anyways, I'm writing on another Sess/Rin which is NOT an AU. But fear NOT! I only really work on it when I have EXTREMELY minor blocks on this one. I don't know whether or not to post it because I honestly don't think I'll be working on it that much. I'm babbling so I better stop and let you review in peace… you WILL review won't you!

Trinity: gushes aw… thank you SO much! You have no idea how much it meant to me to read your review! I honestly didn't have a clue how everyone would react to Rin breaking into Sesshoumaru's home, I kept thinking that everyone would say it was unlikely, but I thought "all this pent up rage can just really send someone over the edge" you know? About the memory, I was a bit… nervous about this bit of the plot because I thought it would have been a bit… cliché! Setting up the incident was quite easy, it was just writing the whole bit where Rin was in the Izuki house that was pretty difficult for me but I tried my hardest to finish it for the sake of the reviewers! And it's all worth it when a review like yours comes up, it REALLY makes my day (and I only got a 46/85 on my geography half-yearly test argh!). 9.75? That's great! As long as your happy, I am as well. Yes, perfection is all in the eye of the beholder isn't it?

Penguin10: Kickass, eh? Lol thanks! ding correct! Anyways, here is your chapter and I hope you enjoyed it! It takes me a bit to post up each chapter coz I usually try to finish the next chapter before I post it so yea…

IYWriterGirl: ding Correct! Glad you're enjoying it so much!

Lynn-Minmay: does that humiliation happen to involve a half-naked Sesshie? (slaps oneself) argh! Too kinky! ding Correct!

Jade Eyed Neko: Funny? Thanks! Hmm… I hadn't really thought about it… well, at least about the gossip bit. I honestly have NO idea, well, at the time I am writing this (11th of May), I'm in the middle of 8th chapter. By the time I post this, I'll probably have finished 8th chapter, so we'll just have to see huh?

IceSugarHigh: Yea, what a twist! I honestly just typed it up in the heat of inspiration! Haha, glad you like it! I'm still debating whether or not Sesshoumaru knows about it or not, I have another idea about it, but it's unlikely… anyway, you won't find out until the end of the story! Red jelly with whipped cream is very yummy!

Einld: Serena and Darien were like, my FAV couple, until I started watching Rurouni Kenshin and Inuyasha and now my favourite pairings are Enishi/Kaoru and Rin/Sesshoumaru! Haha but yes, they are quite sweet aren't they? I typed up roughly… (does Word Count) 4000 words, so I hope you're happy… although I don't know if I can keep writing… I need more reviews (hint, hint)

San San As Herself: crying? blushes geez, I don't know whether to feel guilty at all or not! Hehe, well I hope you enjoyed this chapters dosage of sess/rin interaction, coz there ain't gonna be much next chapter…

The thank you's keep coming for these people!
CometsChaos
Shelly (correct!)
Swimchick1614
Silver Cerebrus (correct!)

Next Chapter: a bad nightmare, Sesshoumaru, and Ms. Kentlyn (6)

(1) – I am horrible with names. Absolutely horrendous. So I figured that I just do the 'Mr.' thing. I'll probably call on someone to help me with names lol.

(2) He's a lawyer and he is not assessing the situation. I realise that. Just work with me here.

(3) VERY manga deprived. And anime deprived to. And therefore am very much Inuyasha-deprived. God forbid.

(4) OK, a lot of people can see a relationship between Alucard (or Arucard. No one actually knows, but my dvd case says it's Arucard. Whatever) and Integra. Or Alucard/Arucard and Seras. They're not immediately obvious, so I won't mention them in this story.

(5) I have NO idea whether these two taste good together or not. I ran out of whipped cream, so I couldn't try for myself. I promise you that as soon as I have both cheese crackers and whipped cream, I'll tell you the results.

(6) God this is a pathetic name. I got this name cause it's a suburb my friend lives in (bangs head on table) ARGH!

(7) I realize that I have a lot of notes in this chapter. Yes, I hate it too.

Outtake #1:

Tap, tap, tap.

"Are you done?" a gruff voice asked.

The clicking continued on.

"I asked you a question!" Rin's ears perked up.

"I'm sorry, was that the wind talking?"

Outtake #2:

Rin made her way out the library after checking a book out. Looking up, she saw Greg, a sheet of paper in his hand.

"I need you to do this for me" Rin sighed.

"Look, I told you I'm not into that kinky stuff!"

Outtake #3:

"Come on" I said impatiently, tapping the chair beside me "I can't work with my spine snapping itself trying to face you"

"Why not?" he said, innocently challenging me.

"Do you oppose to working side-by-side?" I questioned.

"Well in this case I am"

"And why is that?" The smirk surfaced. God how I hate that smirk.

"Because one of your blouse buttons are undone and you twisting around gives me, and only me, a good view of your bra. Too bad it's black…"

"Do you have a problem with black?"

"Well I do prefer white lace"

"Is that a racist comment!"

Outtake #4:

Two can play at the underwear game, my dear Sesshoumaru.

Had anyone seen Rin on the way to the Izuki Estate, one could've heard:

I have lost my underwear,

But I don't care – I'll stay bare

BYE BYE Longjohns!

Outtake #5:

Sesshoumaru leaned back against his closed bedroom door. He began to pace, before taking a book from his shelf and settling onto his king-size to start enjoying it. Barely reading past the first sentence, Sesshoumaru threw the book onto the floor and put his hands behind his head.

Rin.

What an enigma.

What a sexy bitch! Rowr!

Outtake #6:

"You know, we should all grab the girls at Port Street and have a little party in the tree outside his room while he gets naked" I said sarcastically.

"Can we? I mean, you actually remember where that tree is?" Theresa asked. She and Pris seemed quite serious about my joke.

"Well… yea"

"OOH! You call Kagura and the others! I'll arrange snacks and lighting!"

"And I'll bring the video camera… and a Polaroid one too, in case we want some freeze frames!"

I have no idea whether these outtakes are funny or not, I thought I'd just try my hand at them. Please tell me what you think!