Disclaimer: Fruits Basket Characters are not mine. They belong to Takaya-sensei. :) The title, Reminiscence: Feelings Not Forgotten is from the Chrono Cross (the scene where Serge and Lena are at the beach)

Author's Notes: There is a bit of a spoiler here, but I need to explain it (really sorry...). Rin is the Horse of the Juunishi. She appears later in the manga, and she's Hatsuharu's girlfriend. Without revealing 'too much', suffice to say she broke up with Haru after she was hospitalized after sustaining serious injuries. That triggered Haru's 'Black' personality (days after the break up), which made him wreck his classroom. --;;

Setting: Hatsuharu is in his second year. Flashbacks are in the previous school year.

in italics - Hatsuharu's thoughts

".." - Dialogue

There she is. . . reading another book. . .

Sohma Hatsuharu kept his dark eyes locked on the girl sitting at the back of the classroom. He continued to watch her eyes dart from one page to another as she read. He wondered what she was reading, because she would sometimes smile and then become serious at certain parts.

I wonder. . . if it is a love story? He thought idly. He chuckled and shook his head. It couldn't be. She doesn't like love stories…

Maybe it's a mystery novel, then? She has always loved mystery novels.

She suddenly became partly hidden by a group of girls chatting happily as they moved along the aisle beside her. And if that weren't enough, they even conveniently stopped at the area where she is seated, blocking his view. It took all of his will not to stand up just to look at her.

It's been a while since he had seen her smile like that.

Hatsuharu sighed. Can't those girls move...?

He couldn't even pay any attention to what Momiji was telling him.

One of the girls shifted her position and he finally caught a glimpse of her. He saw, from what little space those girls left him, her eyes lighting up in amusement as she read from a certain page.

Suddenly, as though aware of somebody watching her, the girl looked up at him and met his gaze. For a moment, those were the same eyes that used to look at him before -it- happened.

He was taken aback with surprise by the sudden eye contact. "Ten-" he started.

But as quickly as they had come, those laughing eyes of hers disappeared and were replaced by her now usual eyes, full of overcast hues. This snapped him back to the reality of things, making him feel his loss all over again.

It's probably because she was just reading something nice that made her look at me again like that. Hatsuharu thought sadly.

He wouldn't admit it to himself, but he missed how she would look at him before the 'incident'. He spent months trying to forget.

But that gaze...

And her warm smile...

They never left his memory.

Maybe. . . he was also afraid of actually forgetting? If he really wanted to, he could have asked Hatori. But he never did. He simply took comfort in telling himself that they would never see each other anyway, so why bother?

But now, she's here, in this school, in his classroom. He never thought he would see her again. He thought she had gone to a far away place, away from him, away from the curse. What comedy—or tragedy—is Fate cooking up for him now?

Even after she caught him, he couldn't help himself. He saw her eyebrows knit in confusion as he continued to stare at her.

His reputation is already well known, as someone who usually doesn't pay much attention to girls; or to anybody in particular for that matter.

So you're probably asking yourself, "why am I looking at you?" ...Right?

Shifting uncomfortably in her seat, the girl went back to her reading.

He tried to look away but he might as well ask himself not to breathe. He couldn't tear his eyes off of her. He realized he might have been staring at her for the past weeks since the new school year started... Watching... Observing...

And she's starting to notice.

One of the girls that were blocking his view again shifted her position and he finally has an acceptable view of the timid girl from where he was sitting. Just then, he saw the girl slowly raise her book, and lean to her left so that she would be hidden by the two other girls. He was so surprised by what she had done that his jaw dropped.

"Haru? Daijoubu?" Momiji called out.

Hatsuharu blinked, and turned to Momiji. He realized that he was half-risen in his seat. His cousin looked at him, curiosity winning over his usual cheerful face.

He quickly changed his expression to his usual blank look and slowly sat back down.

"Ah... Daijoubu." He uttered, almost inaudibly.

"Is something wrong?" Momiji pressed, his blond head leaning forward in curiosity.

"Iie, betsu ni."

Hatsuharu suddenly stood up and went outside the classroom before the Rabbit could further interrogate him. He walked towards no particular direction, his mind full of thoughts.

I guess Momiji didn't really know what had happened. I requested Tori-nii to not let the others know.

She caught him watching her. He wondered if he should just talk to her. He shook his head. He couldn't even come near her enough without feeling his chest constrict from lack of air.

Being in the same classroom was already torture enough.

He abruptly stopped walking, realizing that he seemed to have wandered off. He looked around and recognized the gymnasium behind him; at least it will not take that long for him to go back...probably. There was still time before class started.

But. . . he suddenly felt like just going home. He would have to be asking for more pain if he were to go back to the classroom. Just the thought of her agitated him, what more her presence. He didn't like what the situation was doing to him. Why is it that the same person that brought him so much happiness is the same person that is bringing him unspeakable pain?

He knew that it wasn't her fault; that things simply had to be this way. It just couldn't be helped. Maybe it was because of her choice that things turned out like this, but he knew she would never intentionally hurt him.

Maybe all of this is part of the curse. He experienced it with Rin before. Happiness for a cursed Sohma is as ephemeral as a bubble.

He went to a nearby tree and sat under its cool shade. He needed to calm down. He looked at how the grass moved against the wind.

"I like how the leaves dance when the wind blows, don't you?"

Hatsuharu felt a pang of guilt mixed with pain at that memory.

He wanted to blame someone, anyone. But he couldn't. He couldn't help feeling that what happened was really... all his fault.

He gave an exasperated sigh. All this thinking is giving him a headache. All of his emotions are also starting to surface, emotions he'd repressed for some time. A combined head ache and heart ache is not something he's prepared to endure. Suddenly, even his simple breathing has become too much to bear. If he weren't careful, he might end up turning Black.

To distract himself, he turned his gaze upwards, towards the clouds. The slow-moving clouds gave him a sense of peace, pulling him in...

"Sohma...san...?"

Japanese corner:

Daijoubu? - Are you alright?

Ah... Daijoubu - Yeah (guys usually use it)... I'm alright.

Iie, betsu ni. - roughly, 'No, nothing in particular.'

Torii-nii - How Haru calls Hatori. -Nii is used for older guys (around 20 years old, maybe...). Pretty much means 'big brother'.

More blabber:

Okay, this is ah...my very first fan fic. I mean, really... the very first fan fic ever written. So I'm not really sure if it's okay. But my friend Tsu told me to just post it in ffnet (after giving me a kick in the butt :D). Heh... Arigatou. (",)

I posted this some time ago in a Furuba website, but it may already have been buried or something... It's slightly different from the old one. (",)

Anyway, I hope you guys like this. But I'm already warning you... It's almost as if I were possessed when I wrote this... But thank you very much in advance to those who get to read this. (",) Reviews are very much appreciated. ARIGATOU! (",)