"MTV's Top Twenty Countdown"
By: Kelli St. Pierre………………..sadly I do not own Rurouni Kenshin
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"And welcome back to MTV's to-"
"Will you stop that already Okina",HIko grunted
"Stop what"
"Saying the same thing over again…'Welcome back to MTV's Top Twenty Countdown'….we all know what this place fucking is, we don't need you to remind us."
"Well I'm sorry that you feel that way Hiko, but I must…it's my job."
"Then you should get a new job"
"Anyways, like I was saying, welcome back to MTV's Top Twenty Countdown.!"
(An applause is heard from the audience again as people in the crowd had gotten snacks during the break.)
"Alright now let's get down to business, next up is number eighteen this week as I pull it out.
(Okina pulls out something, that definitely isn't, a piece of paper.)
"Okina is that a condom you just pulled out?", Hiko said disgustedly.
"Umm……..eh..Eh…..maybe…",Okina weakly says as he stuffs the condom back into his pocket, making sure he wouldn't pick it out again.
(The audience of course, laughed their heads off while this was happening and started asking questions.)
"When did you use it? Was it last night?", some guy who looked eighteen asked.
"…um….eh…maybe..", Okina said dryly.
"Oh dude how old was the chick man!", another guy asked who looked twenty-two.
"Um….maybe about like….um…nineteen..", Okina said softly.
"Oh I'm sorry Okina, we can't hear you," Hiko teased, knowing full well that they all heard it from the looks of their faces."
"She….was..nineteen.." Okina said it a little louder.
"I'm sorry I still can't hear you"
"SHE WAS FRIGGEN NINETEEN!"
(The audience, who knew what he was saying the whole time, asked more questions.)
"Ew dude, aren't you a little too old to be doing that", a girl asked this time who was actually nineteen too.
"Who me, 'The great Okina' is never too old!"
"Yea well, come next to me, and I'll kick your balls oldie", the same girl said.
(The audience laughed louder this time and Okina had to think of something to turn this around. He then took out the right piece of paper this time and announced…)
"Hey, do you all wanna know what this week's number eighteen is or not!"
(The audience all nodded their heads. Okina started waving the paper when he said it and the audience was mimicking his movement with their heads. Okina then moved the paper left to right very slowly and the audience did the same. Okina was going to keep on doing this, but saw the annoyed look on Hiko's face and decided to do it on a later time.)
"Alright, this week's number eighteen song this week is….none other than……………Kanryuu Takeda with his song 'She bangs'!"
(The audience cheer as the TV turns on again to show the video. The audience watches with awe as Hiko gets bored and starts to count sheep, hoping it will make him fall asleep.)
"One sheep….two sheep…….three sheep…."
(Knowing that it wasn't working, Hiko started to count….)
"One sake……two sake……three sake….four…sak…..fiv…sa.."
(Soon enough, Hiko fell asleep, even when he is still standing. Okina all the while, is making sure the girls he's looking at on the TV, are actually real girls this time. When the video is over, the TV turns off and is back behind Okina and a sleeping Hiko.)
( Okina then speaks into the microphone while Hiko snores loudly)
"Now that (snores) was this (snores) week's (snores) eighteenth song (snores)", Okina said over Hiko's snores.
(The audience cheers loudly, but as loudly as Hiko's snores. The audience looks at hiko in awe at how loud he snores.)
"Oh…my..god..", A girl started who looked fourteen," He looks so cute!"
(Okina had no idea what the girl was talking about since Okina thought it was highly annoying that Hiko fell asleep during his show
"You call this cute! He snores so loudly that it seems like he's related to big foot or somethin, not to mention he looks like one at that."
(The audience laughs as Okina then had a mischievous smile on his face. Okina opened Hiko's mouth a little wider and then told the audience…)
"Alright you all, who wants to play a game!"
(Everyone in the audience raised their hands which made Okina continue…)
"Alright, the game is to use your chips that you have with you all, and to throw it so it goes in Hiko's mouth."
(The audience cheered loudly as they agreed and liked this game. So they started throwing chips at Hiko One at a time. They all hit Hiko's shoulders though and nowhere close to his mouth. Then guy from the audience threw all of his chips at Hiko and ten of them went in his mouth. Before anybody moved or said anything, they watched hiko. He moved a little and said things randomly…)
"….eh…aa….hmm…sake…hmm…chips…hmm…….CHIPS!"
(Hiko then woke up quickly and looked at himself which he was covered in chips. He looked to the audience who all had their hands in their laps whistling to themselves like nothing happened at all. He then just shook himself off of the chips and said..)
"So what part of this lame ass show did I miss?"
"Well Hiko, all we did was watch this week's number eighteenth song and waited patiently for you to wake up", Okina said sweetly.
"Who was this week's number eighteen again."
"Oh it was Kanryuu Takeda with his song called 'She bangs'."
"Oh…wasn't that guy a crack attic or something?"
"Oh no he was an opium dealer."
"So, it's the same god dam thing."
(While Okina and Hiko argue, the audience looks to one back and forth with their heads.)
"Yea well you know what, I think Kanryuu whatever should stick his opium and crack up his god dam ass!"
"Well thank you Hiko and, oh gosh look at the time. Ladies and Gentleman its time to take another break as we roll on with the countdown. I your host Okina, says stay tune and our guest Hiko says….."
"I going to get some sake so fuck off"
"Eh well…..stay tune to MTV's Top Twenty Countdown!", Okina says weakly.