Disclaimer: *clears throat* I don't own Todd Gaines (damn), Kai Hiwatari,
Robert Jurgen or Rei Kon. Although, I do own Danielle, Rachel, and Alex.
(BWAHAHAHHA YER ASSES ARE MINE!) ;o) Anyway, ENJOY!
The Multiple Kidnapping Road Trip!
By: xox-Actress-4-Lyfe-xox
I. EXT.(AFTERNOON) AMC Theatres
DENISE is waiting outside of the movie theatre for RACHEL and DANIELLE. She's getting a little impatient and is tapping her foot. DENISE looks at her watch. It says 6:05 p.m. DENISE looks up and can see RACHEL and DANIELLE heading her way. They're skipping merrily, like leprechauns.
(RACHEL hugs DENISE)
RACHEL
(squeezing DENISE)
Hello Denise!
DENISE
(between breaths)
Hi... Rachel... can't... breathe...
RACHEL
Heh, sorry.
DANIELLE
(heading to the AMC entrance)
So, what movie are we going to see?
(DENISE stops in front of DANEILLE)
DENISE
Uhh, yeah, about that. I didn't call you guys over here so we
could see a movie. We're doing something else.
RACHEL
Like?
DENISE
I have something to tell you guys.
DANIELLE
You're not pregnant are you?
DENISE
No.
RACHEL
Having bladder problems?
(DANIELLE and DENISE give RACHEL a weird look)
RACHEL
Hey, it's a serious problem. I saw it on TV.
DENISE
No. I don't have bladder problems. I wanted to tell you guys
that –
DANIELLE
We're not going to the movies?
DENISE
We are going on a trip.
RACHEL
Like, a field trip?
DENISE
Sure, you could call it that. But I'd rather call it a road
trip.
DANIELLE
How are we supposed to go? We have no food, no clothes and no
money! We don't even have a ride.
DENISE
I have this all figured out. We all have money. We could put
that together and we'll be fine for food. We can just pack our
clothes. Silly goose. I never have a plan without being
prepared.
II. EXT. Rainy Day Hitchhiking
DENISE, RACHEL and DANIELLE are hitchhiking. They're soaking wet and they have backpacks on their backs full of supplies like clothes and food.
DANIELLE
(sarcastically)
What were you saying before about never having a plan without
being prepared?
(DENISE stops and talks to RACHEL and DANIELLE)
DENISE
Okay. So I made a mistake about the weather. On the radio it
said it would be sunny skies and perfect weather.
DANIELLE
(yelling at the sky)
Hmm... Oh, Mr. Sun! Where the hell have you gone! You lazy
bastard, get out here and dry us off!
RACHEL
Danielle, you're yelling at the sky. It can't hear you.
DANIELLE
Nuh-uh. I'm speaking to the SUN. SUN!!!! I NEED SUN!!! I'm
SOAKING WET!
RACHEL
(to DENISE)
She's officially gone insane.
(DENISE walks over to DANIELLE who is on her knees and yelling at the sky)
DENISE
Welcome to the insanity club, Danielle. Population: 3. Now get
up and help us catch a ride.
Minutes later...
(The rain has stopped. They've been walking for a while now. DENISE spots a hippie selling flowers. Behind him is an old Volkswagen hippie-style van with flowers painted on it.)
DENISE
I have an idea...
(looks over at RACHEL and DANIELLE)
You guys see that hippie van over there?
(Both nod)
DENISE
Well, that's our ride.
RACHEL
What do you propose we do?
DENISE
Rachel. Danielle. I propose we steal it. I mean look at him.
He's probably high as a kite right now. You really think he's
going to remember someone stole his van?
RACHEL
I think he's gay.
DANIELLE
Rachel, you think every man is gay. Hell, you probably think
that rock over there is gay too.
DENISE
Oh, that reminds me. The other day, we learned about transsexual
frogs.
(Silence)
RACHEL
Riiiiiight...
DENISE
Okay, Danielle, you distract the hippie dude. Rachel, come with
me.
DANIELLE
How am I supposed to distract him?
DENISE
I dunno. Flash him.
DANIELLE
WHAT!
DENISE
Just do something!
(RACHEL and DENISE sneak over to the van)
(DANIELLE walks up to the hippie dude who sells flowers)
DANIELLE
Hey there. You got some... daffodils?
HIPPIE DUDE
What? Oh, right man. Daffodils. You know, daffodils are really
rad flowers. But you look like the type of chick that would like
some nice carnations.
(DENISE and RACHEL are now hiding behind the van)
(RACHEL pops her head over the hood of the van and waves to DANIELLE)
DANIELLE
(giggles)
HIPPIE DUDE
(giggles with her)
DANIELLE
Say, can I ask you a question?
HIPPIE DUDE
(nods)
DANIELLE
Are you gay?
HIPPIE DUDE
HOW DID YOU KNOW?
DANIELLE
The flowers are a dead giveaway.
GAY HIPPIE DUDE
(in a gay voice)
Well I might as well stop the charade. So, I'm gay. I thought
the flowers would be a little more masculine.
DANIELLE
Well, they're not.
(DENISE signals DANIELLE over from the driver's seat of the van)
DANIELLE
Oh, sorry, gotta run.
GAY HIPPIE DUDE
What about your carnations?
(DANIELLE flashes GAY HIPPIE DUDE and runs away)
(GAY HIPPIE DUDE rubs his eyes and only sees beautiful colours because he's high)
(DANIELLE runs into the van and plops into the back, which has no seats, but it does have a bed.)
(DENISE is hot-wiring the van)
DANIELLE
Rachel, remember how you said you thought that hippie dude was
gay?
RACHEL
Was he?
DANIELLE
Yes.
RACHEL
I knew it...
(DENISE gets the van started and they're on their way)
(DANIELLE reaches into one of the backpacks and pulls out a soggy sandwich)
DANIELLE
Well, there goes our food. It's completely drenched.
DENISE
(looks back)
We've still got money. We can buy food.
(RACHEL grabs the sandwich from DANIELLE and throws it out the back window)
(The sandwich hits a car and it crashes into a tree)
RACHEL
Whoops! Sorry!
III. INT. AT SWISS CHALET The girls are waiting in line at Swiss Chalet.
DENISE
I must pee. One of you wanna come with me?
(DANIELLE and RACHEL shake their heads)
DENISE
Fine! You guys will have to pee sometime!
[Exit DENISE]
DANIELLE
Remind me again. Why are we doing this?
RACHEL
You know, we never asked. This was Denise's idea. Why would she
bring us on a road trip? Where are we going anyway?
DANIELLE
I dunno! I just asked you that!
RACHEL
Oh. Right.
(DENISE comes back)
DANIELLE
Did you wash your hands?
DENISE
(sarcastically)
No, Danielle, of course not. I just decided to take a piss and
now wash my hands just so I could give you some kind of venereal
disease by not washing my hands.
RACHEL
Ew. You didn't wash your hands?
DENISE
Rachel. I washed my hands. Can we please change the subject?
DANIELLE
If you did wash your hands, why are you trying to change the
subject? Hmm? Explain THAT!
DENISE
(changes the subject)
What are we getting? Quarter chicken?
RACHEL
(sings)
I want my baby back baby back baby back riiiiiiiiibs.
(gasp)
That reminds me. Danielle and I wanted to know why we're on this
road trip.
DENISE
I thought we could, you know, have a chance to bond together as
friends. This was a great opportunity to...
(DENISE trails off)
(DANIELLE and RACHEL give her looks like "Liar")
DENISE
Okay, okay. Once we get in the hippie-mobile I'll tell you.
IV. INT. HIPPIE-MOBILE The girls are in the hippie-mobile. They've just finished eating their food. They're sitting in a circle on the bed that's in the backseat.
DANIELLE
So, just out of curiosity, why are we on this road trip. And
don't gimme that crap about 'friendship' and stuff like that. I
wanna know what we're seriously doing here in the middle of
nowhere.
DENISE
Okay girls. I brought you out here because...
(DENISE pauses)
RACHEL
Because what?! BECAUSE WHAAAT?!
DENISE
We're going to kidnap Todd Gaines.
DANIELLE
Todd who?
DENISE
Arg! Todd Gaines! From the movie GO!
(Crickets in the background)
DENISE Just... never mind. The only thing that's important right now is that we're
going to kidnap him.
DANIELLE
But that's not fair! Why are we helping you kidnap someone you
like? What's in it for us?
(DENISE thinks for a moment)
DENISE
We'll kidnap Kai and Robert. How does that sound?
RACHEL
OH MY GOD! ROBERT! ROBERT! ROBERT!
(takes out Robert teddybear, which is wet)
Ewww... you need to dry up, Robbiekins.
(RACHEL pulls out mini blow dryer from her backpack and starts drying off the teddy bear)
DENISE
Good God, Rachel. What else do you have in that backpack?
(RACHEL pulls out a muffin)
RACHEL
For my daily intake of crack.
DANIELLE
So, do you have a plan for all these kidnappings?
DENISE
I have one for Todd. But we'll have to fudge the other 2.
RACHEL
Fudge?
DENISE
Yes, Rachel. Meaning to improvise.
RACHEL
Ohhhh.
DENISE
I'm not surprised you're a blond.
RACHEL
HEEEEEEY!
(A large smack resonates through the van)
TO BE CONTINUED...
[Fade Out]
The Multiple Kidnapping Road Trip!
By: xox-Actress-4-Lyfe-xox
I. EXT.(AFTERNOON) AMC Theatres
DENISE is waiting outside of the movie theatre for RACHEL and DANIELLE. She's getting a little impatient and is tapping her foot. DENISE looks at her watch. It says 6:05 p.m. DENISE looks up and can see RACHEL and DANIELLE heading her way. They're skipping merrily, like leprechauns.
(RACHEL hugs DENISE)
RACHEL
(squeezing DENISE)
Hello Denise!
DENISE
(between breaths)
Hi... Rachel... can't... breathe...
RACHEL
Heh, sorry.
DANIELLE
(heading to the AMC entrance)
So, what movie are we going to see?
(DENISE stops in front of DANEILLE)
DENISE
Uhh, yeah, about that. I didn't call you guys over here so we
could see a movie. We're doing something else.
RACHEL
Like?
DENISE
I have something to tell you guys.
DANIELLE
You're not pregnant are you?
DENISE
No.
RACHEL
Having bladder problems?
(DANIELLE and DENISE give RACHEL a weird look)
RACHEL
Hey, it's a serious problem. I saw it on TV.
DENISE
No. I don't have bladder problems. I wanted to tell you guys
that –
DANIELLE
We're not going to the movies?
DENISE
We are going on a trip.
RACHEL
Like, a field trip?
DENISE
Sure, you could call it that. But I'd rather call it a road
trip.
DANIELLE
How are we supposed to go? We have no food, no clothes and no
money! We don't even have a ride.
DENISE
I have this all figured out. We all have money. We could put
that together and we'll be fine for food. We can just pack our
clothes. Silly goose. I never have a plan without being
prepared.
II. EXT. Rainy Day Hitchhiking
DENISE, RACHEL and DANIELLE are hitchhiking. They're soaking wet and they have backpacks on their backs full of supplies like clothes and food.
DANIELLE
(sarcastically)
What were you saying before about never having a plan without
being prepared?
(DENISE stops and talks to RACHEL and DANIELLE)
DENISE
Okay. So I made a mistake about the weather. On the radio it
said it would be sunny skies and perfect weather.
DANIELLE
(yelling at the sky)
Hmm... Oh, Mr. Sun! Where the hell have you gone! You lazy
bastard, get out here and dry us off!
RACHEL
Danielle, you're yelling at the sky. It can't hear you.
DANIELLE
Nuh-uh. I'm speaking to the SUN. SUN!!!! I NEED SUN!!! I'm
SOAKING WET!
RACHEL
(to DENISE)
She's officially gone insane.
(DENISE walks over to DANIELLE who is on her knees and yelling at the sky)
DENISE
Welcome to the insanity club, Danielle. Population: 3. Now get
up and help us catch a ride.
Minutes later...
(The rain has stopped. They've been walking for a while now. DENISE spots a hippie selling flowers. Behind him is an old Volkswagen hippie-style van with flowers painted on it.)
DENISE
I have an idea...
(looks over at RACHEL and DANIELLE)
You guys see that hippie van over there?
(Both nod)
DENISE
Well, that's our ride.
RACHEL
What do you propose we do?
DENISE
Rachel. Danielle. I propose we steal it. I mean look at him.
He's probably high as a kite right now. You really think he's
going to remember someone stole his van?
RACHEL
I think he's gay.
DANIELLE
Rachel, you think every man is gay. Hell, you probably think
that rock over there is gay too.
DENISE
Oh, that reminds me. The other day, we learned about transsexual
frogs.
(Silence)
RACHEL
Riiiiiight...
DENISE
Okay, Danielle, you distract the hippie dude. Rachel, come with
me.
DANIELLE
How am I supposed to distract him?
DENISE
I dunno. Flash him.
DANIELLE
WHAT!
DENISE
Just do something!
(RACHEL and DENISE sneak over to the van)
(DANIELLE walks up to the hippie dude who sells flowers)
DANIELLE
Hey there. You got some... daffodils?
HIPPIE DUDE
What? Oh, right man. Daffodils. You know, daffodils are really
rad flowers. But you look like the type of chick that would like
some nice carnations.
(DENISE and RACHEL are now hiding behind the van)
(RACHEL pops her head over the hood of the van and waves to DANIELLE)
DANIELLE
(giggles)
HIPPIE DUDE
(giggles with her)
DANIELLE
Say, can I ask you a question?
HIPPIE DUDE
(nods)
DANIELLE
Are you gay?
HIPPIE DUDE
HOW DID YOU KNOW?
DANIELLE
The flowers are a dead giveaway.
GAY HIPPIE DUDE
(in a gay voice)
Well I might as well stop the charade. So, I'm gay. I thought
the flowers would be a little more masculine.
DANIELLE
Well, they're not.
(DENISE signals DANIELLE over from the driver's seat of the van)
DANIELLE
Oh, sorry, gotta run.
GAY HIPPIE DUDE
What about your carnations?
(DANIELLE flashes GAY HIPPIE DUDE and runs away)
(GAY HIPPIE DUDE rubs his eyes and only sees beautiful colours because he's high)
(DANIELLE runs into the van and plops into the back, which has no seats, but it does have a bed.)
(DENISE is hot-wiring the van)
DANIELLE
Rachel, remember how you said you thought that hippie dude was
gay?
RACHEL
Was he?
DANIELLE
Yes.
RACHEL
I knew it...
(DENISE gets the van started and they're on their way)
(DANIELLE reaches into one of the backpacks and pulls out a soggy sandwich)
DANIELLE
Well, there goes our food. It's completely drenched.
DENISE
(looks back)
We've still got money. We can buy food.
(RACHEL grabs the sandwich from DANIELLE and throws it out the back window)
(The sandwich hits a car and it crashes into a tree)
RACHEL
Whoops! Sorry!
III. INT. AT SWISS CHALET The girls are waiting in line at Swiss Chalet.
DENISE
I must pee. One of you wanna come with me?
(DANIELLE and RACHEL shake their heads)
DENISE
Fine! You guys will have to pee sometime!
[Exit DENISE]
DANIELLE
Remind me again. Why are we doing this?
RACHEL
You know, we never asked. This was Denise's idea. Why would she
bring us on a road trip? Where are we going anyway?
DANIELLE
I dunno! I just asked you that!
RACHEL
Oh. Right.
(DENISE comes back)
DANIELLE
Did you wash your hands?
DENISE
(sarcastically)
No, Danielle, of course not. I just decided to take a piss and
now wash my hands just so I could give you some kind of venereal
disease by not washing my hands.
RACHEL
Ew. You didn't wash your hands?
DENISE
Rachel. I washed my hands. Can we please change the subject?
DANIELLE
If you did wash your hands, why are you trying to change the
subject? Hmm? Explain THAT!
DENISE
(changes the subject)
What are we getting? Quarter chicken?
RACHEL
(sings)
I want my baby back baby back baby back riiiiiiiiibs.
(gasp)
That reminds me. Danielle and I wanted to know why we're on this
road trip.
DENISE
I thought we could, you know, have a chance to bond together as
friends. This was a great opportunity to...
(DENISE trails off)
(DANIELLE and RACHEL give her looks like "Liar")
DENISE
Okay, okay. Once we get in the hippie-mobile I'll tell you.
IV. INT. HIPPIE-MOBILE The girls are in the hippie-mobile. They've just finished eating their food. They're sitting in a circle on the bed that's in the backseat.
DANIELLE
So, just out of curiosity, why are we on this road trip. And
don't gimme that crap about 'friendship' and stuff like that. I
wanna know what we're seriously doing here in the middle of
nowhere.
DENISE
Okay girls. I brought you out here because...
(DENISE pauses)
RACHEL
Because what?! BECAUSE WHAAAT?!
DENISE
We're going to kidnap Todd Gaines.
DANIELLE
Todd who?
DENISE
Arg! Todd Gaines! From the movie GO!
(Crickets in the background)
DENISE Just... never mind. The only thing that's important right now is that we're
going to kidnap him.
DANIELLE
But that's not fair! Why are we helping you kidnap someone you
like? What's in it for us?
(DENISE thinks for a moment)
DENISE
We'll kidnap Kai and Robert. How does that sound?
RACHEL
OH MY GOD! ROBERT! ROBERT! ROBERT!
(takes out Robert teddybear, which is wet)
Ewww... you need to dry up, Robbiekins.
(RACHEL pulls out mini blow dryer from her backpack and starts drying off the teddy bear)
DENISE
Good God, Rachel. What else do you have in that backpack?
(RACHEL pulls out a muffin)
RACHEL
For my daily intake of crack.
DANIELLE
So, do you have a plan for all these kidnappings?
DENISE
I have one for Todd. But we'll have to fudge the other 2.
RACHEL
Fudge?
DENISE
Yes, Rachel. Meaning to improvise.
RACHEL
Ohhhh.
DENISE
I'm not surprised you're a blond.
RACHEL
HEEEEEEY!
(A large smack resonates through the van)
TO BE CONTINUED...
[Fade Out]