Chapter 3

The dog growled Brian and max were out of sight

"that dog escaped me once I wont let that happen again" snarled the vicious dog he had a

Big build and had brown fur and long sharp teeth

"I will kill him as I did to his mother" growled the dog as he leaped down the road

IN THE GRIFFENS HOUSE

Peter walked over to his mail box and looked through the mail

"Bill, Bill Bill what's this LLIB!…oh wait dam bill turns the letter right way

What's this hmmmm u have been selected to sing for the Raven Festival"

LATER

"oh my god I cant believe this we got picked now we can sing for the hole of New England" said Lois in an excited tone

"one problem we need seven and we only have six" replied peter

"dam it" replied lois

" The sixties brought the hippie breed
And decades later, things have changed indeed
We lost the values, but we kept the weed
You've got a lot to see
The Reagan years have laid the frame
For movie stars to play the White House game
We're not too far from voting Feldman Haim
You've got a lot to see
The town of Vegas has got a different face
Cause it's a family place with lots to do
Where in the fifties, a man could mingle with scores
Of all the seediest whores
Well, now his children can too
You heard it from the canine's mouth
The country's changed, that is except the South
And you'll agree
No one really knows my dear lady friend
Just quite how it all will end
So hurry cause you've got a lot to see" sang max

Everyone stared at the bathroom at the amazing voice and ran upstairs as Max exited the bathroom

"what" asked Max

"oh my god u went to the toilet" shouted peter

"Peter what the hell is wrong with you" asked Lois

"………I have…issues" replied peter

"look guys I don't do appearance on TV" replied max

"Oh come on I thought u cared for this family" replied Peter

"Don't start that again!" snapped Brian

"last time u did that when u put me through at the dog talent show I ran away and I was nearly put down remember?" snapped Brian

"……….no" replied Peter

"look this is all moving but I don't like singing in public" replied Max

"oh come on think of all the hot chicks u could pick up" replied Peter

"I'm only 6 months old you pervert there is no ay I am singing in public" snapped Max

At Ravens Festival

"I can't believe I'm going to sing in public" sighed Max as he Stewie, Meg, Brian, Peter, Lois and Chris walked onto the stage

Peter: Hi, I'm Peter Griffin
All of us here at Family Guy would like to wish you a Merry Christmas
Or a Happy Jew Christmas, depending on your religion
Lois: Peter, it's Channukah
Peter: Oh, sorry
Chris: laughs
Meg: Shut up, Chris! This is supposed to be serious!
Chris: Okay, we've prepared a musical holiday greeting
That we would like to sing for you
Lois: Max, would you start us off?
Max : Sure
Stewie: You know, I heard we can say dirty words on this album
Chris: Boobie! Ha ha, I said boobie
Did you hear me? Ha, I said it twice
Max : Okay, okay, take it easy, you guys
clears throat Ladies and gentlemen,
The lush arrangements of Walter Murphy
The snow is glistening in the trees
As Christmas carols fill the breeze
And children pray on bended knees
Stewie: Santa Claus, be sure you don't
Screw up my freakin order, please
Brian: Great, thanks for destroying the mood
Chris: Dad, what do you want for Christmas?
Peter: Ah, let's see
Britney Spears and Courtney Cox
Wearing nothing, but their socks
Is all I really want for Christmas this year
Brian: Well, that's just not practical
Peter: Plenty of beer and so much scotch
That I hit on my own crotch
Is all I really want for Christmas this year
How about you Lois, what do you want?
Lois: All my flabbin' cellulite surgically uprooted
Then installed in Julia Robert's ass, Ha!
Spending a steamy night between
Kevin and his partner Bean
Giggling as they remove my brassiere
Peter & Lois: Al these happy wishes
And lots of Christmas cheer
Is all I really want this year
Lois: What do you want meg?
Stewie: How about something to remove her Matt Houston moustache
Meg: I want a house in Malibu
And a cure for bacne, too
That's all I really want for Christmas this year
Chris: Eww! You have bacne
Meg: Shut up, Chris!
Peter: Anything else, honey?
Meg: I want a singing navel, Dad
Just like on that Levi's ad
That's all I really want for Christmas this year
Brian: All I can say is
Thank God that advertising firm doesn't do tampons
Chris: Now me!
There's an evil monkey who's living in my closet
I just wish he'd go away and die
I want Jillian Barberie
Rubbin' up real close to me
Sayin' dirty, bad things into my ear
Stewie: Oh, she's atrocious
Chris: All these happy wishes and lots of Christmas cheer
Is all I really want this year
Stewie: Well, it's your turn, dog
As if anyone gives a two-schilling shit about what you want
Brian: Every year I've prayed and prayed
for a girl who isn't spayed
That's all I really want for Christmas this year
Chris: What does spayed mean?
Peter: Oh, you know, like Melissa Etheridge
Max: I'd love it if you would not harass
Me when I start to chew my ass
That's all I really want for Christmas this year
Your turn, kid
Stewie: Is it awfully much to have
Just one evening weekly
Where there is no cover charge at Rage
Brian: I knew it
Stewie: Knew what?
Lois's name I'd love to see
With the letters R.I.P.
She's alive and well, but let's play by ear
All: All these happy wishes and lots of Christmas cheer
Is all I really want this year
Stewie: Oh, dear
That high note rather did me in
Would somebody please change me?