Disclaimer: I DO own friends, the six of them are mine … oh… dreams do not count? In that case I don't own friends…
Chapter 1:
Not so funny anymore
Joey and Phoebe were in Central Perk. Phoebe was very exited talking about her future wedding.
Phoebe- well... Monica is the wedding planner, so nothing can go wrong.
Joey- that's right! Monica is the wedding planner!... Pheebs... isn't she driving you crazy? Phoebe- What are you talking about?... Mon is a very nice person and she is very sweet organizing everything…
Joey looked at her in disbelieve…. Of course Monica was nice… but when she was organizing something… she could get a little annoying (to say the less)…. She dived everybody crazy in times like that…
Joey- Phoebe… tell me the truth… she can't hear you…
Phoebe- ok... maybe I need to take a very few pills to deal whit her…
Joey- A few?
Phoebe- (getting very upset) ok.. I admit it! I take three valiums before every meeting whit her! Are happy now that I said it, Trivianni?
Joey- ok… calm down… at less the wedding will be perfect… right?
Phoebe- yes... the only bad thing is that, since I'm the bride I can't be the wedding singer…
Joey- (rolling his eyes) that IS really a pity...
Phoebe- hey… do you remember that I was the wedding singer in Monica and Chandler's wedding?
Joey- mmmm… Pheebs… I think that they hired the "swing kings" to sing in their wedding...
Phoebe- officially... but I still sang something on the wedding… remember? I sang... "the first time I met Chandler I thought he was gay… but here I'm singing… on his wedding day"
Joey- yes… but you sang that while Monica chased you to break your guitar and make you stop… I don't think that makes you "the wedding singer"…
Phoebe- that is truth...
Chandler and Ross walked inside the Central Perk… Ross was whit Emma in his arms… and he and Chandler were arguing.
Chandler- I don't care that you have a PhD… you are completely wrong!
Ross- you are crazy… I can't discuss any important issue whit you!
Chandler sit next to Joey and asked him to solve the argument…
Chandler- let's see if you can solve this Joe… what works better to erase the wrinkles of your face? A cream made whit cucumbers or a cream made whit honey?
Joey- (shocked) how the hell would I know that!
Phoebe- I think that cucumbers are better for your skin than honey… why?
Ross- I knew it! because Chandler spent the whole afternoon using a cream made of honey!
Joey- dude… were you really using a cream?
Phoebe- I knew it! Chandler is gay… That's so funny!
Everybody laughs at the joke but Chandler.
Ross- maybe I should give him my pink shirt!
Joey- and Monica and him can share clothes to save money...
By that point, everybody but Chandler were laughing so hard that he started getting mad…
Chandler- very funny! Don't you realize that now all my coworkers are very young and I feel bad about my age? That is why I used that cream! Because I'm very straight but I don't want my nick name to be "grandpa".
Phoebe- relax Chandler... we were just kidding...
Chandler- well, you should stop it! ... I'm sick of people saying I'm gay! Is not funny! Stop it!
Chandler leaves the coffee house very angrily leaving the others very shocked…
Ross- wow... he was really mad...
Phoebe- we were just kidding.
Chandler went to his apartment... there he founded a note from Monica. It said: "Dear Chandler: I'm sorry... I forgot that tonight I have to work late. I can go to that dinner of you… I'm really sorry… I hope you can go by your self anyway. I love you…"
Chandler was a little bit annoyed. A coworker of him, called Ashley Johnson, invited a bunch of people from the office to have dinner at her house, and everybody was going whit their spouses.
He went to that dinner anyway because he really needed to make friends at his new job… so far he didn't talk to much people.
He arrived at Ashley's house and knocked the door… Ashley let him in.
Ashley- Hi Chandler! I'm glad you came… come in!
Chandler- thank you for inviting me…
Ashley- you are welcome… Where is your wife?
Chandler- she had to work… she is sorry...
Ashley- oh... is ok... let me take you whit the rest…
Chandler thought that there was some distrust in Ashley's tone… like his coworker didn't believe him… They went to the living room and Chandler greeted to the other guests… most of the people there were coworkers he already knew… but then Ashley introduced him two men who were strangers to him.
Ashley- This is my husband James James- hello… Chandler- hiThey greeted each other whit a handshake.
Ashley- and this is my brother Andrew Johnson…. He will be working with us from next week…
Andrew- (smiling) hi Chandler…
Chandler- hi... is nice to meet you Andrew...
Andrew- oh… no… is my pleasure… and cute guys call me AJ.
Chandler- (shocked) ok... ok... whatever.
Ashley- Andy… Could you please come to the kitchen and help me whit the chicken?
Andrew- ok... sis
Andrew left, and Chandler was still shocked…
Chandler- excuse me James... is your brother in law gay?...
James- yes
Chandler- and was he flirting whit me?
James- I think so… but don't worry... as soon as he realizes you are not interested in him, he will stop hitting on you.
Unfortunately for Chandler, Ashley sit Andy right next to him. And when they finished the main dish and Andrew touched Chandler's leg under the table, Chandler got up very uncomfortable.
Chandler- hey… I think I will help Ashley to wash the dishes…
He entered in the kitchen and there was Ashley… Chandler decided to clear things out.
Ashley- hey Chandler… are you having a good time?
Chandler- (sarcastically) yes, the time of my life!
Ashley- oh… what happened?
Chandler- look… I don't have problems whit gay people... but I would enjoy dinner better if your brother stopped hitting on me…
Ashley- oh... I'm so sorry! I had not idea he was making you uncomfortable… he is very persistent when he really likes somebody… and he saw you the other day… when he went to our office to get a job… and he is quite taken by you… but is ok… I'll tell him you are not interested…
Chandler- is nothing personal… is just that I'm in love whit my wife… I'm nor gay… I'm not gay al all… I've never been gay…
Ashley- oh... is ok… I'll tell him… but he was so sure that you are gay, be begged me to fix you two up... he told me that your wife was just a lie to cover your homosexuality at work...
Chandler- she is not... she is very real…
Ashley- ok... sorry…
Chandler- don't feel bad… for some estrange reason everybody makes the same mistake…
Chandler went to the bathroom… he washed his face to fresh up… what was wrong with him lately?… Suddenly, Andrew got into the bathroom…
Chandler- What the hell are you doing here?
Andrew- I just came to see what was wrong whit you… why did you leave the table like that?
Chandler- oh… listen Andy… I'm not gay..
Andrew- (shocked) What?
Chandler- I'm straight and I love my wife very much…
Andrew- I don't believe you… I think you are gay but you are on denial…
Chandler- no….
Andrew- there is only one way to know for certain…
He leaned towards Chandler and kissed him. The kissed lasted a few minutes and scared the hell out of Chandler… specially because he enjoyed it. Chandler pulled Andrew away….
Chandler- no! I'm not interested in this… I have a wife!
They went back to the table and Chandler ignored Andrew for the rest of the night….
Then Chandler got home so late that he found his wife sleeping on the couch, whit the TV on… obviously she tried to wait for him up… but she was too tired and fell asleep…
Chandler covered her whit a blanket, turned the TV off and went to bed by him self.
To be continued…So.. this is the beginning…. What do you think? I have like 10 more chapters ready to post…. But the chapters don't want me to post then unless you give me a lot of reviews…. Ok… I admit it… I am the one who doesn't want to post then if I don't get enough reviews