Chapter 5
LATER
"well the public loved u and they request an encore b ut maybe give them a little more different" replied the festival manager
"what again!" shote Max
Peter: Hey guys its us again giving u what u want
All of us here at Family Guy would like to wish you a Merry Christmas
Lois: Max, would you start us off?
Max: whatever
Stewie: You know, I heard we can say dirty words on this album
Chris: Bo-
Chris would have said more if his mouth had not been covered by Meg
Max : Okay, okay, take it easy, you guys
clears throat Ladies and gentlemen,
The lush arrangements of Walter Murphy
The snow is glistening in the trees
As Christmas carols fill the breeze
And children pray on bended knees
Stewie: Santa Claus, be sure you don't
Screw up my freakin order, please
Brian and Max: Great, thanks for destroying the mood
Chris: Dad, what do you want for Christmas?
Peter: Ah, let's see
Britney Spears and Courtney Cox
Wearing nothing, but their socks
Is all I really want for Christmas this year
Brian: Well, that's just not practical
Peter: Plenty of beer and so much scotch
That I hit on my own crotch
Is all I really want for Christmas this year
How about you Lois, what do you want?
Lois: All my flabbin' cellulite surgically uprooted
Then installed in Julia Robert's ass, Ha!
Spending a steamy night between
Kevin and his partner Bean
Giggling as they remove my brassiere
Peter & Lois: Al these happy wishes
And lots of Christmas cheer
Is all I really want this year
Lois: What do you want meg?
Stewie: How about something to remove her Matt Houston moustache
Meg: I want a house in Malibu
And a cure for bacne, too
That's all I really want for Christmas this year
Chris: Eww! You have bacne
Meg: Shut up, Chris!
Peter: Anything else, honey?
Meg: I want a singing navel, Dad
Just like on that Levi's ad
That's all I really want for Christmas this year
Max : All I can say is
Thank God that advertising firm doesn't do tampons
Chris: Now me!
There's an evil monkey who's living in my closet
I just wish he'd go away and die
I want Jillian Barberie
Rubbin' up real close to me
Sayin' dirty, bad things into my ear
Stewie: Oh, she's atrocious
Chris: All these happy wishes and lots of Christmas cheer
Is all I really want this year
Stewie: Well, it's your turn, dog
As if anyone gives a two-schilling shit about what you want
Brian: Every year I've prayed and prayed
for a girl who isn't spayed
That's all I really want for Christmas this year
Chris: What does spayed mean?
Peter: Oh, you know, like Melissa Etheridge
Brian: I'd love it if you would not harass
Me when I start to chew my ass
That's all I really want for Christmas this year
Your turn, lil guy
Max: DON'T CALL ME LITTLE! cough
Can't I be treated more like an equal in this family
And less like I'm in nursery that's all I want for Christmas this year!
Brian: don't kids say the cutest things
Max: I would love it if u would not
Hit my friends if u think there
There gay or French this is my life not yours
Brian and Max: All these happy wishes and lots of
Christmas cheering is all I really want this year
Max: your turn stew
Stewie: Is it awfully much to have
Just one evening weekly
Where there is no cover charge at Rage
Brian: I knew it
Stewie: Knew what?
Lois's name I'd love to see
With the letters R.I.P.
She's alive and well, but let's play by ear
All: All these happy wishes and lots of Christmas cheer
Is all I really want this year
Stewie: Oh, dear
That high note rather did me in
Would somebody please change me?