Authors Note: Well… I hope you've all missed me. I haven't updated in quite a while, but seeing as I have no homework today I'll do this thang.

Disclaimer: I do not own Robert Jurgen, Kai Hiwitari, Hatori, Duo or Spike Spiegel, etc etc. HowEVER… I do own the lovely ladies Steph, Rachel, Danielle and myself. WHOA did I mention it took me forever to update? Yeah. Forever. Not to mention there are even MORE guys I added here and there and I don't even remember so I might not have listed them. Hence the etc.

The pairings are going to change a bit.

Denise – Hatori (Fruits Basket)
Danielle – Draco Malfoy (Harry Potter)
Rachel – Snape (Harry Potter)
Steph – Craig (Sorry, Duo. You had a good run.)
Nick – We'll wait for the next chappie… . ;;

12. INT. HIPPIE VAN
DANIELLE, STEPH, DENISE, DUO and SPIKE are shocked when they hear RACHEL scream out that they had just found ROBERT and KAI, who merely walking down the street and about to enter a small café. KAI had his headphones on, and couldn't hear much but ROBERT on the other hand heard the screaming from behind them. He turns, watching as a hippie van pulls up and stops abruptly.

RACHEL
(running out of the van flailing her arms)
ROBBIE-KINS! ROBBIE-KINS! ROBBIE-KINS!
(makes her way toward ROBERT and tackles him rather roughly to the ground)

ROBERT
(is tackled to the ground)

DENISE looks to SPIKE before she moves out of the van and toward the couple who were down on the ground outside of the café. DANIELLE exited the driver's seat and made her way up to KAI, rather slowly at first before she grabbed his collar and threw him against the wall… not too hard though. Just enough to make it seem erotic. Whilst STEPH and DUO make their way out also, but instead of watching everyone else, they simply walk into the café and sit at a table inside.

DENISE
(to ROBERT)
I'm thinking Rachel likes you.
(to KAI)
Uhm… and I'm thinking Danielle likes you, Kai…

DENISE stands there a moment, awkwardly before she realizes that SPIKE hasn't come out yet. She heads back to the van and looks inside. Nothing. SPIKE left. Full of fury, DENISE slams her fist against the floor of the van and storms out, shutting the door. As she shuts it and turns to leave, the whole door falls off and onto the ground. Turning slowly, she calmly places the door in the van and walks into the café to get a black coffee. DANIELLE and RACHEL are busy getting acquainted with ROBERT and KAI.

KAI
I'm… sorry do I know you?

DANIELLE
No. But I think you're hot. And I also think-

Before DANIELLE can say anything, KAI leans closer, placing a small kiss on DANIELLE'S lips. She stands there a moment as her grasp on his collar diminishes.

DANIELLE
(wide-eyed)
Oh wow.

DANIELLE takes KAI'S hand as they head into the café to get together with the others. DENISE, STEPH and DUO are already sitting at a table together and DENISE is telling them about the sudden disappearance of SPIKE.

STEPH
It's not like he's a fucking animal. Like a cat or something. He left because he wanted to. So that means he isn't coming back.

DENISE
Maybe he just went across the street to do something?

STEPH
Like what?

(looks across the street)
Get his dry-cleaning done? Just forget about it.

(turns to DUO)
God. Say something. You're so quiet.

DUO
(shrugs)
All I can say is that he seemed like an asshole anyway. It's best if you just... move on, like Steph said.

DENISE nods absently, still paying attention to what the two were saying. Her thoughts are jarred as DANIELLE and KAI seat themselves at the rather small table. The room around it was getting quite sparce. Meanwhile, outside...

ROBERT
Umm... could I ask why you are on top of me?

RACHEL
Oh… no reason, really.
(gets up slowly, reaching her hand to help ROBERT up from the ground)
I'm Rachel. Nice to meet you Robert.

ROBERT
(nods, confused)
Nice to meet you too… I think…

RACHEL
I think we should go inside. Everyone else is in there… sitting that extremely small table.

ROBERT
(nods again, watching KAI with DANIELLE)
Yeah. I guess we could go in.
(eyes move to RACHEL'S hand as he takes it hesitantly, not sure if he should be doing it or not)

ROBERT and RACHEL enter the café, taking a seat near the others. Everyone is making a feeble attempt at cheering up DENISE, but it isn't quite working.

DENISE
Oh, and guys, the van door is broken. I got so pissed I slammed it and it fell off. So yeah.

DANIELLE
I think we can get the beyblade boys to do that for us.

ROBERT and KAI shrug and then nod in agreement.

13. INT. HIPPIE VAN

ROBERT and KAI have just fixed the door on the van. Many thanks follow. Everyone gets into the van. DENISE driving, STEPH in the passenger seat. DUO sits between them. DANIELLE and KAI, RACHEL and ROBERT sit in the back.

STEPH
You going to be okay, Denise?

DENISE
I'll be fine.

DUO
Sure?

DENISE
I said I'll be fine.
(says this with a note of irritation)

RACHEL and ROBERT are sitting quite close together, talking about each other and DANIELLE and KAI are just sitting on the bed, exchanging funny looks and occasionally flirting… noticeably. After a while, DENISE stops the van at the beach side, getting out immediately and heading to the water, her arms crossed furiously against her chest. DANIELLE pops her head out of the van window.

DANIELLE
(yells)
Where are you going?

DENISE
(yells back)
To drown myself.

All of the members immediately rush out of the van toward her and DENISE begins to run into the water. Except for STEPH and DUO who stand away for the moment. For just that moment, DUO is brought down to the ground and is being mugged right in front of everyone. DUO struggles against the man a moment before STEPH pulls him off of DUO. The man is about to flee when STEPH lunges toward him, tackling him to the ground. (A/N: Déjà vu from the Cafe? lol)

STEPH
Whoa. You're hot and OMG YOU'RE CRAIG.
(Obviously now attracted to this man.)

DUO tilts his head slightly, shrugging and simply disappearing into a bush… to do what? We don't know. Maybe got to the bathroom… or… you know… that other thing guys do when they're bored… or excited… whichever. Anyway… back to the story. DUO left. STEPH is now on top of CRAIG. DENISE has just attempted to drown herself and everyone else (DANIELLE, RACHEL, KAI, ROBERT) are trying to save her. NOW next scene.

14. EXT. THE BEACH

Just as the group goes about trying to save DENISE from a wet and rather soggy demise, HATORI enters and, being an excellent swimmer, he goes in and picks DENISE up out of the water like a freshly picked apple. Okay, bad analogy. So HATORI ends up going into the water and the gently lays her down on the sand. By now, DENISE was delirious. Upon seeing HATORI, she coughs up all the water from her lungs and turns onto her side.

DENISE
(breathing heavily)
Why… in the name of all that is waffles… did you SAVE me?

HATORI
You were drowning.

DENISE
No sh –
(turns now to look up at HATORI)
… it.

HATORI
Excuse me?

Insert Awkward Silence Here

DENISE
Listen, Hatori…

HATORI
… How did you know my name?

DENISE
That's what they all say, and I keep telling you new guys I'm a mind reader. NOW. I'd like to thank you for saving me, care to ride my trunk? I MEAN ride in my trunk. I MEAN…
(puts a hand to her head and sighs)
Wanna come with us?

HATORI
(looks into her eyes deeply)

DENISE
(has a staring contest with him for about 5 minutes)

EVERYONE ELSE
(silence)

SOUNDS IN THE BACKGROUND
(ocean waves, people walking thorough the sand, Steph and Craig making out in the bushes)

HATORI
(looking rather stoic… and wet)
Saving you was the least I could do. Nonetheless, I do have matters to attend to. I'm sorry.

HATORI is about to get up and make his exit, but DENISE just won't take no for an answer. She tackles him from behind, landing him flat on his face in the sand. But when she gets up, there appears a large poof and a small seahorse along with some apparently discarded clothes.

DENISE
What… the bloody hell. I'm in LOVE with a SEAHORSE.

DANIELLE
Oh noez! The Sohma Curse!

RACHEL
YEAH! OH NOEZ!

DENISE
(turning around to RACHEL and DANIELLE)
Your lovewhore's left.
(stated rather blatantly)

DENISE, having read many Fruits Basket manga's and watching the series, she realizes that soon, HATORI will just change back into his form. Now, she wishes to go on another search! A search to find out WHO PUT THOSE THONGS IN THE SOCK SECTION OF WAL MART… By that, I mean a search to find a remedy for the Sohma Curse! Hopefully, it isn't in the sock section at Wal-Mart.

15. INT. WAL-MART

Later that day, we find the group in the sock section at the local Wal-Mart. They are on a search for the Sohma Curse cure, if any. RACHEL and DANIELLE have been abandoned by their former prisoners, and now it is only STEPH and DENISE who are paired with their kidnapping, pink handcuff, kinky… well, you get the picture.

DENISE
Uh, guys? Where's Steph?

We cut back a couple scenes and find that THE GROUP has left STEPH and CRAIG at the beach. What a pity. Moving on. HATORI has been cleverly attached to DENISE with pink fuzzy handcuffs, her specialty. Though, HATORI could probably just brainwash her right now, he instead ponders the fact of how she knew about the Sohma Curse without him having to say anything.

After a few hours of walking around the Wal-Mart, we find an interesting character named Nick. He appears to be swimming in piles and piles of socks.

The madness continues…

P.S: The van's door was never fixed.