Title: Half the World Away
Author name: Calbee
Author email: Romance
Sub Category: Humor
Keywords: Snape Hermione psychological
Rating: PG
Spoilers: SS/PS, CoS, PoA, GoF
Summary: Severus Snape and Hermione Granger. A Slytherin and a Gryffindor. Who would have thought that this could happen when the results of a psychological love test are assumed to have gone horribly wrong...
DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. This fic is inspired by an idea provided by josette the black pearl.
Author notes: Thanks to everyone who has reviewed!

I remembered that when this chapter was originally uploaded on almost a year and a half ago, and let's say it didn't go down well. So if you hate this chapter in the end, don't say I didn't warn you. Actually, tell you what, I myself is freaking out in fear right now.

Also, sorry for the late update. I am going tostay with my friend and her family for Christmas, so I have been busy packing and shopping for Christmas presents for everyone. Merry Christmas everyone!

Chapter 7 Cupids and butterbeer

"DiDi, are you okay?" Rosmerta asked DiDi finally. She had been staring into thin air for a couple of times. It seemed like she was not there at all.

"I am okay," DiDi, or Hermione, replied. "Sorry..."

"It's okay, DiDi. I am just wondering if there is something on your mind." Rosmerta replied, while pulling her to sit down behind the bar with her. "Is anything wrong at school?"

"No, nothing." Hermione stiffened when she considered the option of telling Rosmerta. It would be a disaster. "I better go..."

Rosmerta pushed her back onto the chair. "No, you get some rest, there will be more customers coming. It's Sunday you know." She took Hermione's place at the bar.

Some might wonder who this DiDi was. Well, she was the new part-time waitress of The Three Broomstick. No one knew much about her, aside from her name and that she was a relative of Rosmerta, thought it wasn't common knowledge. However, she did have one secret, which under no circumstances that DiDi would allow it to become know --- DiDi was actually Hermione Granger.

Hermione was shifting uncomfortably on her spot since she noticed two of the staff arrived in the Three Broomsticks --- Professor Snape and Professor Lupin. It wasn't the first time she had met staff in Three Broomsticks, but this was the first time she met them in disguise. She was confident that no one would recognize her changed exterior, but not Snape. He was a spy, and he would notice it, most probably.

While she was musing about the possibility that he might uncover her identity, Lupin had come to the bar, and asked, "Are you new here?"

Hermione panicked, for just a few seconds, but this didn't escape Snape's eyes. "Yes. I am DiDi. What can I get for you, sir?"

"Two butterbeers to start with," Lupin replied, while he pointed at Snape. "He might need something stronger later."

"Okay, two butterbeers." She poured two butterbeers and put them on the bar table. "That will be ten knuts."

Lupin put the money on the table. "Here you are. We still haven't introduced..."

"I know who you are. You are Professor Lupin," Hermione smiled at Lupin, who was a little bit surprised that she knew him, "and you are Professor Snape, both from Hogwarts. Am I right?"

"How did you know who we are?" Snape asked . He noticed something familiar about her, but he couldn't reckon what it was .

"As I only work on Saturday and Sunday nights, I didn't have a chance to meet you two, as you most likely come during the day. I have been hearing a lot about the two of you from Rosmerta and other customers, and I know enough to recognize who you are." Hermione was so proud of herself to have come up with such a good explanation in such short time.

Snape still felt her story a bit strange, but there was nothing he could or would do, as he was interrupted by Rosmerta.

"Hello, Severus, Remus. I see that you have met DiDi." Rosmerta then said to Hermione, "DiDi, could you go tidy up the tables next to the door? Thanks." Once Hermione was far enough away from them, not able to hear what they were saying, Rosmerta said, "I warn you, Remus, don't you fool around with her."

"Hey, why's that only directed at me?"

"Because Severus is too much of a gentleman to lay a hand on her." Rosmerta said, deadly serious.

((From this point on, when Hermione was under disguised, she would be referred to as DiDi.))

"DiDi."

"Yes, Professor. Another butterbeer?"

"Yes, please." Lupin replied, "And another Firewhisky for him." He pointed at Snape.

DiDi was a bit worried that Snape was having too much to drink already. "Professor, he shouldn't have any more..."

"Ask him."

Snape replied without looking at her. "Give me another one."

"Professor Snape, you are..."

"I am not. Give me another one." Snape looked up this time, and DiDi was sure that he was not drunk. He was full up to his eyeballs.

"Professor Lupin, why did you do this? You have been encouraging him to drink for a whole night. What are you trying to do?" Hermione was sure Lupin was up to something as he not only encouraged Snape, but even bought him drinks.

"People normally speak the truth when they are drunk. It works better than Veritaserum, DiDi. There are things I want to know."

"About?"

"Well, according to a test, he was matched with a student, and I want to know what he is going to do about it, as that student is the best friend of my friend's son."

"What is this test you are talking about?" DiDi asked, pretending total ignorance. "I thought it was only for witches..."

"No, there is another one for wizards this week in Wizard's Weekly. And he has taken the test, the result of which is, as I said, that student."

DiDi was more than sure now that she and Snape were tied both ways according to the tests. If Lupin had been more careful, he should have noticed the shock, relief and worry on her face. "Don't you think you are being a bit too overreacting?" she said finally, "It's not as if a mere test made them a couple for eternity..."

"I'd rather be more careful. He is Snape, not someone else. He is dark and has a difficult life and past... I am not sure about their match."

"Professors, I think you are treading on thin ice if you 'search' any further."

"And why is that?" Lupin asked.

"Well, it is a matter between two people, not for the whole world to discuss. If I were that student, I wouldn't take it too seriously, as it's just a test. But I would wonder why I am matched to him and he to me, because there must be something that makes the two of us 'suitable' for each other. I might be shocked that he is my match, but frankly, Professor Snape probably has his good sides, too."

"Please tell me what is good about him. I couldn't think of any."

"If I were his girlfriend, firstly, I wouldn't need to worry that he might cheat on me. He isn't as casual as Sn... I mean Sirius Black, about women. It would be a relief for me. He is learned and intelligent, and I don't think I would be disappointed in an intellectual conversation. God knows how I hate those men who would only talk about Quidditch all the time and nothing else. Given his character, if he cared about me, and loved me, he would make sure no harm would come to me in any way, physically or mentally, in a very unobtrusive way. Maybe he is not a romantic person, but I think it's good to be realistic. I wouldn't want a guy to show his affections by bringing me flowers and sweets. I would prefer him to show them through his actions. It could be just a secret smile, directed at me and nobody else, or a pat on the shoulder, or even just a simple sentence." Hermione emphasized, "AND most important, there is no explanation to love. If I loved him, there would be a hundred reasons for it ."

"Does this mean that you are interested in Snape?"

"Remus Lupin! Just shut up and drink, could you!" Hermione snarled at him, blushing furiously.

Snape heard the conversation all the way. His body was drunk, but his mind was not.

He had never thought that a stranger would give such comments on him. Generally, people just saw him as a 'villian', but she seemed to accept him with open-arms. She analysed him as a person. She even was on his side, defending him against Lupin.

Actually, he was tempted to sneak a look at her when Lupin asked whether she was interested in him, but decided it wasn't a good idea as he heard her snarling. However, he couldn't help but smile to himself. He had found himself a delightful distraction --- DiDi.

Later that night, after Lupin guided Snape back to Hogwarts, DiDi (Hermione) returned to her own head girl room through a secret passage between the Three Broomsticks and Gryffindor Tower. She was lucky that she didn't meet anyone in the common room, or else she would have had a lot of explanations to do. She still remembered last time when Ginny fell asleep in the common room accidentally -- she had had to make Ginny swear that she was not going to tell anyone about her going out at night, and her new appearance. In return Ginny knew why she went out at night.

Rosmerta was actually her distant relative. She was Hermione's grandmother's sister's sister in law's daughter. They had kept in touch and Hermione was more than surprise to know that she was a witch when she came in The Three Broomstick during her third year. Now, as she was going to graduate, living at home seemed not really convenient, as everything she had in touch with belonged to the wizarding world. Therefore Rosmerta offered Hermione to stay with her and help in Three Broomstick before she got a real job and a place to stay. Hermione accepted the offer, on two conditions --- firstly, she would disguise and be called DiDi during work, and secondly, she would want to start before she graduated, every Saturday and Sunday. Rosmerta and Hermione asked Dumbledore about it, and permission was granted, along with a newly-built secret passage between Gryffindor Tower and The Three Broomstick.

She sighed deeply once she she closed her door behind her, and sat down before her dressing table. She looked at her own reflection in the mirror on the dressing table. She looked brilliant in her disguise, but it represented the stereotype she hated most --- blonde hair, blue eyes, fair skin. That was one reason why no one could possibly guess it was her. She pulled off her blonde wig, and took off her blue-coloured contact lens. She also undid the spell paling her skin colour. There, she was the original Hermione, who had busy chestnut-brown hair, brown eyes, and healthy ivory skin.

Once she had freed herself from all those things, she changed into her night dress and she flung herself onto her bed. Crookshanks snuggled next to her, and Hermione stroked him for a while before he went back to sleep.

Hermione looked at Crookshanks and sighed, knowing that it might not be that easy for her to find sleep tonight. The encounter at the Three Broomsticks still bothered her somehow. Actually, it was not her intention to defend Snape to such an extent that it made Lupin suspect she was fancying Snape, but it had just gone out of control... She rarely got into a debate like this, not even when Ron couldn't understand why she had been with Krum... Actually they had had some talks about it, but she had never defended that relationship like she had done earlier tonight...And frankly, she still wondered... Did she really have a crush on Snape?

To Be Continued