Disclaimer: new chapter inspired from Terry Prtachett's Discworld's dwarves. Hope you'll enjoy ! R&R, please !

The Tale of the Well-thinking Dwarf

In the tavern the company would not stay,

For the great sorceress Galadriel there lay,

Revengeful as ever, angered at the company's flight.

Though they were not in a sad plight,

For the Lady was too proud to attack.

So Gimli proposed to follow a track,

Through the surrounding dark and deep wood,

Maybe to find some good-hearted food,

But above all to listen to his tale.

The Master Dwarf, in hand a glass of ale,

His beard trickling with the golden beverage,

Was not mean with words and made a carnage.

"Did I ever tell you about our mines?

Splendid, dark, moistened, huge mines?

How lovely are their walls,

More glittering than elvish waterfalls!

When we look up it's like an inverted diamond well,

But we do it rarely for we are not made well:

Our necks are short and our heads heavy,

And we dwarves prefer to stand the gravity.

Unlike our fellows elves, we don't value air,

And all those things that to them are fair.

But the greatest treasure of my people is better:

We, dwarves from the sombre mines, and other

( I'm talking about those foul-smelling Orcs ),

Worship the most beautiful thing from Middle Earth,

A thing that makes us enjoy our underground birth,

A thing that can move peoples and passions,

A thing that had passed through all fashions,

A thing that would move the noblest rock,

A thing that is far more valuable than chalk,

A thing..."

"Will you tell us what it is about, short-legs ?"

Legolas said, unaware of walking on eggs.

"Who are you talking to, pointy ears?"

Sharply replied the Master Dwarf, his eyes two spears.

"Does somebody else around eat stones in scones?"

Said Legolas, with the most perfidious of his tones.

Gimli, his beard turning fiery red, brandished his axe,

Legolas would have melted under his glare, had he been in wax.

Witnesses could have sworn smoke came out from his face red:

"DWARVES DO NOT EAT STONES, IT'S BREAD!"

"Bread?" retorted the elf. "Do bread normally file teeth down?

To me bread is something eatable made of flour white or brown.

Is it usual for the eater to wish he had eaten burning coal,

Rather than that mixture of ash, gravel and droppings from an ill mole?"

Gimli could not bear the insult and, swearing, he swaggered:

Never had a so small creature be seen so angered.

Although with his raised arms he could hardly reach Legolas'chin,

His polished cutting axe proved itself quite convincin'

And the gracious elf shuddered and winced.

"Did you taste dwarvish cooking, lad?" Gimli asked,

His tone of voice as engaging as a badger's kiss.

Legolas blushed violently and made a guilty hiss.

Gimli lowered his axe and shook his big helmeted head,

Disapproval could be seen through his bushy hairs all red.

He took a slow and solemn voice, smiling calmly:

"Lad, don't you know it is nasty to judge hastily?

When you have not the thing by yourself seen,

It is mere weakness to make your opinion so keen.

I confess I am quite perplex myself about elves.

I try to avoid thinking of them like pretty shelves,

Useful to the world but in the background,

Smooth and predictable as an oak board.

Hold your protest, my friend!" Gimli said.

"For my narrow-mindedness I have paid,

For I can see now that your are a living entity,

As skilful as me in your own crafts and identity.

You breath like me, love things like me,

Talk like me, walk...erm...almost walk like me.

The only difference I see is your physical appearance,

Your high bearing, fair hair and defectiveness clearance.

But both live for an ideal: you seek beauty in nature,

And I do make of gold digging an advanced culture."

Legolas, on the verge of tears, put his hand on his heart,

And his oratory practice he tried to raise in art:

"My friend, my captain, my model, my genius!

Do you think stubborn elves and dwarves could understand us?

Hand in hand we could unite our peoples, join the war,

Help the Middle Earth tribes to trade onions in jar,

Fight for freedom, for cabbages and carrots to grow,

For the sun to shine on the Great Milky Cow,

For streams to water the mossy woods and plains,

For foxes and squirrels to develop their brains."

Arm in arm, Gimli and Legolas erased their prejudices,

Abandoning the company, they talked about injustices.

Bilbo, who stood on a fallen trunk, sighed with relief:

"My dear fellows, we avoided a great deal of grief.

Luckily we escaped the dwarf bread sampling

And a brain-destroying repertory of gold singing!"