Codename: V.F.D

Summary- Glancing over her shoulder, she noticed Esmè Squalor entering the snack bar and before Esmè spotted the three volunteers, Kit slipped a box intoMrs. Baudelaire'slap, labelled: Poison Darts.

IMPORTANT NOTE: IN THIS, YOU HAVE TO IMAGINE THAT YOU HAVE AN UNCLE AND YOUR NAME IS WHATEVER IT IS IN THE STORY TO REALLY UNDERSTAND. IF YOU CAN'T IMAGINE THAT THAN YOU'VE BEEN LIVING UNDER A ROCK FOR YOUR WHOLE LIFE. Literally.

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You'll always see him sitting on his rocking chair by the window, staring out it and forgetting of everything else surrounding him. But of course, you would never thought he had a story to tell. "Uncle, come for dinner," you'd call out to him. You would repeat it once more if he appeared to not have heard.

"Dragonfly..." the aged man would mutter.

You would roll your eyes and approach your uncle, taking him by the hand and leading him away from the window he continued to stare out of. His attention will finally turn to you and he would smile as he looked down at his niece and he'd reach down and pat your head.

"You look so much like her..."

"Like who uncle?" you'd ask, tugging at his hand gently, trying to lead him to the dining room.

"Your mother...your real mother."

Suddenly, you stop pulling him away from the room, your eyes wide. "You remember about my mother? What she looked like? What she was like?"

"Yes...but it is a long story...a long sad story that you should not need to hear..."

"I'm willing to listen Uncle Snicket!"

Snicket would smile kindly, "No, I don't think such a story is suitable for you...no, such a woeful story...I wouldn't want to publish that after the first series of those poor Baudelaires..." Snicket trailed off as he turned back to look out the window.

"Please! Please tell me! You've warned me now, I'm not turning back! Tell me please Uncle Snicket..." you begged your uncle until finally, both of you took a seat when he had finally given in.

"It all started quite a number of years after the schism."

"Schism?"

"A division of a previously united group of people into two or more oppositional parties. Well, at this time something terrible happened. Something that made the schism even worse. A member of the once united group called V.F.D stole the sugar bowl from Esmè Squalor."

"Who stole this 'sugar bowl'?"

"Ahh...such a complicated part of the story..." Snicket mumbled, smiling to himself. "Beatrice took the blame. Esmè never seemed to suspect me."

You gasp, "You Uncle! No way!"

"Sadly yes...Lemony Snicket. Everyone called me 'L' in our messages. But continuing on with the story, I was continuously on the run after that incident...but you can listen to my story later, let's just talk of your mother's story shall we...I believe I should start at that very day of the performance of La Forza del Destino..."

-

It was intermission and Kit Snicket vacated her seat as she followed her fellow volunteers off to a snack bar. She was determined to slipped them a little surprise when they were seated away from Esmè Squalor, who seemed just as determined to see what the volunteers were up to. Just as the couple she was following sat themselves down at the bar table, she immediately occupied the chair beside the red-shawled lady. Glancing over her shoulder, she noticed Esmè Squalor entering the snack bar and before Esmè spotted the three volunteers, Kit slipped a box into the lady's lap, labelled:

It was six men of Indostan, to learning much inclined,
who went to see the elephant (Though all of them were blind),
that each by observation, might satisfy his mind.

The man who sat next to the lady was smiling as he read the label on the box. His eyes glittered as he looked up at Kit Snicket, saying:

"So, oft in theologic wars, the disputants, I ween,
tread on in utter ignorance, of what each other mean,
and prate about the elephant, not one of them has seen!"

Kit returned the smile before mouthing, 'put it away'. The man plucked the box from the lady's lap and tucked it into an inside pocket of his jacket just as Esmè Squalor reached them. Her eyes were narrowed in suspicion and she said rather stiffly, "Hello Snicket. Mr and Mrs Baudelaire," she nodded to each in turn.

"Pleasant evening, isn't it Esmè?" asked Mr Baudelaire cheerfully, in one of his whimsical moods.

"Pleasant? I find it far from pleasant, Bertrand," Esmè replied coolly, smoothing out her skirt even though it did not need it. "I'm sure one of you must have spotted Beatrice somewhere around here. Now, where is she?"

Mrs. Baudeliare smiled unfathomably a word here meaning 'Esmè could not tell whether or not Mrs. Baudelaire had seen Beatrice or not'. "Of course we would only tell you if you are who we think you are Esmè." Mrs. Baudelaire leaned forward calmly, "Are you?" she asked. "Are you who we think you are?"

At this Esmè threw back her head and cackled, alarming a few people close to the four people. "Don't pull that on me! Even those stupid twins got nothing out of me!"

Bertrand Baudelaire opened his mouth as if to object, but closed it suddenly, as if deciding against it. "Well, you never cease to amaze us Esmè."

Esmè stopped laughing and leaned forward sinisterly. "Seen Ramona lately?" she smirked. "I'd like to have a nice little chat with her."

Mr Baudelaire did not return the cruel smile but kept his face blank and emotionless. "You should know what happened to Ramona already Esmè." he said rather coldly.

Laughing once more, Esmè turned away from the three volunteers and stalked off.

"It wasn't meant to turn out like this..." muttered Kit. She turned to the two Baudelaires and managed a sad smile.

"Yes, we all didn't think it would be such a sad occasion..." muttered Mrs. Baudelaire.

The three sat there in silence after that comment, each in their own thoughts, wondering how their world seemed to turn out like this. Suddenly, a shadow appeared over Kit and she snapped out of her thoughts and turned around.

"Frank? Or is it Ernest?" Kit automatically asked the man behind her.

The man smiled kindly. "No, it's me, the one that gave you the box." he explained.

Mr. Baudelaire smiled just like the man. "Kit, I'd like to introduce you to someone you may have heard of but may not have believed that he really was alive...this is Dewey Denouement..."

"D-Dewey Denoument?" gasped Kit.

Dewey smiled even broader and bowed to Kit. "Yes. Dewey Denouement at your service Miss Snicket..."

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Well...I'm too lazy to write anything else...SO REVIEW!