Enjoy.

I was a man on a mission. I looked down at myself and realized I was covered in Chris's blood. I looked at the vest I had just taken from my body, and saw the deep crack through the center of the plate. I searched through the squad car for a shirt while I ripped the bloody one from my body. Shivers ran up and down my spine. I didn't find anything, so I decided to screw it and go shirtless. I needed to get to Eliza.

I started up the squad car Hondo had taken the team to the hospital in, and drove off towards her house. I didn't know how I was going to tell her, but I knew I was the only one who could tell Eliza this. I spent the whole half hour drive trying to find the right words to say. I slowly pulled up to Chris's house, turned the key and killed the engine. The trip up the front walk way was the longest I had take in months. At least it felt like it. Slowly, I laid my fist against the door, sounding off a gentle knock. A small pair of feet scurried up to the surface of the door behind the wood. I heard something scratching against the floor, and realized Eliza was pulling a chair up to the door to see through the peephole.

"Who is it?" Her little voice squeaked.

"It's Jim, Eliza," My voice called back. It didn't sound like me. I looked down at myself to reassure that I was as I normally was. Tears started rolling down my cheeks. How could I talk to Eliza like this? I had barely wiped the tears from my face before the door squeaked open.

"Hi Jimmy, where's my mami?" She asked, her face puzzled by my solo appearance.

"I have to talk to you about that Eliza," I said softly as I knelt down to look the small girl in the eye. She was so much like her mother, physically small, but with a fire in her eyes. I smiled a sad little grin and looked at the brown eyes staring back at me.

"Is she okay?" She asked again. For an eight year old, she seemed to have a great sense of awareness, she knew what I had to say was not going to be good. I could see it in her eyes, hear it in her voice. The delicate waverings revealing every thought crossing her mind.

"Eliza," I sighed, mybrain was drawing a blank. She put her small hand up to my mouth and just took my hand.

"Jimmy, you don't look happy, and that means it's bad news, and I don't want to hear anything that's bad about my mama." Eliza whispered. She was so sweet, I have never met a kid like Eliza. I nodded my head and pushed away the tears stinging my eyes.

"Eliza, you really need to know this though." I said, my voice cracking. I sat on the front porch and pulled her into my lap.

"Your mama got shot. It was an accident, but it was really bad babe." I said, tears spilling over the end. She sighed deeply and leaned into my bare chest.

"I knew it was gonna be something like that," She whispered and then turned her face into my shoulder, and silent tears streaming down her face.

I held her like she was my own blood, because I felt for that little girl. I knew what she was going throught because I am as much in love with her mother as I could ever be. She cried, and I pulled the front door shut. I took the key from under the mat and locked the door. We slowly walked out to the squad car, and I sat down in the drivers seat still holding Eliza. We didn't drive just yet. I held as she cried, and tears streamed down my own face. It wasn't fucking fair to make Eliza have to feel so sad. She didn't deserve it.

I felt her breaths returning to somewhat normal. She wasn't crying as much, so I set her into the passenger's seat and buckled her up. The last thing I needed was an accident, soI put the car in drive and drove slowly and carefully, all while staring down at the little girl riding next to me. Her head rested on the glass and silent tears rolled down her cheeks. I put my hand out and rested it on top of hers. She didn't seem to notice me.

We drove silently to the hospital, and as I shut off the engine, Eliza turned to me, big brown eyes rimmed in red, and for a second, her eyes and mine locked. She looked tired; older than an eight year old should. Too many emotions weighing her down. My heart broke all over again. I got out of the car and walked around to open her door. I sat down on the ground and leaned my back against the car.

"I don't want to go in there yet," she whispered so quiet that I almost didn't hear. I didn't even look up because I knew what her face would look like.

"Yeah, I won't make you." I said back. I let my head fall back against the cold steel of the door panel an shivered. I was cold and scared. I didn't even want to go in there, I sure as hell wasn't gonna make the kid go back in. We sat there for the longest time, two hours at least, her legs hanging over the side of the seat and me leaning against the door. I was just thinking. What exactly had happened? I didn't even know. I wanted to be able to tell Eliza everything would be alright. I wanted to make sure she knew that I would have traded places with her mother in a heartbeat. Finally, I stood up.

"Eliza, if you're ready, I'll take you in," I whispered. I wanted to see if they had found out anything more, if my beautiful Chris was even alive.

"Ok Jim," her small voice whispered and she slowly slid out of the seat. She reached her hand out to me and I grasped it firmly in mine. We walked the long and solemn walk through the automatic doors, and the sight of Eliza's eyes when they wooshed shut behind us was too much. Tears rolled down her eyes again. I can only imagine that she has the same thoughts as me. Chris could die. I pulled her up into my arms, wanting to take away the pain. She buried her face in my shoulder once more. I walked slowly towards the corner where Jesse, and only Jesse, was sitting, lost in a daze.

"Where are they?" I asked quietly while I sat down. I kept Eliza in my arms, not wanting to ever let her go.

"Docs came out." He stated solemnly. I waited for him to say more. There had to be more.

"And?"

"I don't know, the guys and Hondo all got up to meet him, I stayed." He said. We waited until Eliza's breaths had turned deep and even, and I knew she was asleep. I held her tight, because she felt like she was a part of me now. Jesse spoke again, eyes still focused on something far away.

"I hate hospitals."

"Yeah," was all I could manage to think of. That was kind of random.

"Last time I was in one, I was fifteen years old. They were telling me how my dad died." His gaze dropped down to the floor. "Killed himself. Overdosed." He put it bluntly, and blew me away. I never would have thought that he would drop a bomb like that.

"I'm sorry Jess," I whispered. I hated thinking that Chris could die. It couldn't happen, not when she didn't know how I felt.

"Don't worry about it. No more of my life story. Go find Hondo and the boys, I'll wait here with the kid." He smiled the same sad smile I assume I'd been giving Eliza, and pointed me in the right direction. I stood up and laid Eliza down in the chair. I gave her a small kiss on the cheek and then was off.

I stormed the halls and realized how cold it really was in there, me without a shirt. My eyes scanned the area, looking for any sign of my team. Then Deke's light brown eyes connected with mine. He turned, and the only thing I could see was sadness in his eyes. I damn near sprinted towards him.

"Deke? What is it? What's wrong?" I asked. I could hear the anxiety in my voice.

AN: I based Jesse off of one of my best friends...Jesse Gaska, and that happened to his dad two years ago. I know that he hates hospitals more than anything else now because it reminds him of everything.