"Jim," He choked out, tears running down his face. He pulled me into a hug. My mind was spinning. She can't be dead. She's not.
"Is she..." I can't say it. I can't, it's not possible.
"No. She's not." His usually strong voice whispers weakly."Jesus brother, she's alive, but barely." I sighed a huge sigh of relief. I thought for almost sure she was dead. I couldn't have lived with myself if she was. Tears of sadness and relief escaped my eyes.
"Jimmy," a small voice called behind me, I looked and saw Eliza's face, tears streaming down her cheeks. She was rooted, frozen to the ground. Everything on her face made me think that she thought her mother was never coming back. I whispered her name gently as I scooped her up into my arms. Her big brown eyes looked up and locked into mine.
"My mami?" her voice came out breathless.
"She's alive Eliza." She probably didn't even know she was holding her breath. I hugged her to me, and she just laid her head on my shoulder; no tears. Deke cleared his throat.
"Jim, I have to talk to you." he said quietly. His eyes zeroed in on the floor.
"Eliza, can you go back with Jesse? I'll be right back." I said while putting her back on her feet. She nodded slowly, and scurried back towards where Jesse was still sitting. I watched her go, then turned slowly back towards Deke, who looked back up and his eyes told a tale of sadness.
"Jim, the doctors said," his voice broke off. I put my hand on his shoulder to reassure. This can't be good. He cleared his throat, and tried again. "The doctors said, her heart stopped four times while they were operating on her. Chris shouldn't even be alive right now, the way she got hit, it tore up a lung, and way too much shit in there. Doctors think she won't make it through the night." My world almost collapsed.
Then I realized. Doctors are bullshit. They don't know if she's going to live or die. Chris is special, she's tough, she would never be gone. Chris would never let something like that get her. She's magic. That's what I love about her.
"Deke, I don't care what doctors say. Chris's not gonna let this shit get to her. She's a fighter, and she would never leave Eliza alone in the world." It came out stronger than I expected.
Deke's eyes widened, he looked into my eyes as if trying to read my mind. He just nodded, and turned back towards the corner where the rest of the team was waiting. I looked at Eliza and saw more of Chris in her than I had ever seen before. Her strong will flashed through the small girl's eyes. The thoughts of Chris dying flooded my head. I had to walk back around the corner out of the team's sight, and my knees buckled. I dropped to the floor and warm tears dripped down and on to my bare chest. I still needed to get a shirt, but I didn't care. Shit like that doesnt matter. How could I think about a t-shirt when Chris could be dying? I pulled my hand to my face for one last swipe to get the tears off, and then got back to my feet. I wobbled a bit, before regaining my balance and walking towards the team again. Hondo stood to see eye to eye with me and motioned to the exit. He wanted to talk outside.
I walked slowly behind Hondo. His steps were firm, where mine wobbled. He radiated strength, where I showed weakness. But he had no idea about what I was going through.
"Street, I know you have a thing for Sanchez." He stated bluntly, not even turning in my direction.
"Threre is no thing." I lamely replied. But it was the truth, I was the only one with a thing. Chris had no idea.
"Don't bullshit me Street. I'm a smart man, I notice things. Now when a team member of mine is going through a tough time, I'm not going to stand by and just watch shit go down. I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, Sanchez is in trouble. And since you have have a thing for her, now would be the perfect time to bring it to my attention." Hondo faced me and his dark eyes scanned me up and down.
"Look Hondo, I...I...yes...yeah I have a thing for Sanchez, but she doesn't know about it. I haven't told her anything." I sighed. I might never even get the chance now. "But, to answer the question, yeah." I ran my hands through my hair, and shivered, it was freezing outside. I folded my arms and hugged them close to my chest.
"That's exactly what I have known all along. Except for the part about Chris no knowing anything about it." Hondos eyes smiled at mine while his face remained serious. "Street, you didn't have to say anything. But, you must be blind if you didn't notice it. The girl's in love with you." He must be joking me. No one would love me like that.
"Hondo..." I choked, my eyes filling with tears once again. I hadn't cried this much in my whole life. Yet here I was, sobbing my brains out for Chris, but she was worth every tear. "Hondo, she can't die." I stuttered out.
"Well Street, that's not a decision you or I have the power to make. Chris is in control of her future as long as she keeps holding on." Hondo said as he took my shoulder and we walked back to the entrance to the hospital. "We need to get you a shirt."
When we got back to the group, I sat down exhausted because the day was finally getting to me. Deke was on my left and Eliza was on my right. Deke leaned over to me and whispered.
"The doctor came out to tell us what room she was in, and we all decided that you should be the first to go and see Chris." His brown eyes reading mine, and seeing the weariness. "If you don't want to its ok cuz we-"
"No, I want to see her." I whispered back strongly. If Chris was available, I wasn't gonna pass up the chance. Deke slipped me a peice of paper with her room number on it and patted my shoulder.
"Be strong brother"