I started my slow walk to the stairs, and up to the fourth floor. I finally be came aware of the dull throbbing on my chest, and I looked down to see a dark purple and black bruise had formed. From the bullet that Chris's vest had stopped. If she hadn't given me the vest, that shot would have killed me. I looked down at the slip of paper in my hands, and saw that I was on the right floor. I pushed open the door, and was met by a blast of cold sterile air. It smelled like medicine. A sign shot out at me. INTENSIVE CARE. It was stupid of me not to know. Of course she was gonna be in intensive care. But it still shocked me. The whole floor contrasted to Chris's colorful nature. She was so bright and unique. Everything here was so white, clean, and conforming.

I stumbled blindly down the hallway, not really looking at anything, except the numbers on the wall. 436. 437. 438. There its was, room number 439. Chris was in there right now. I looked down at my watch. It had been about six hours since the whole ordeal, and Chris had come out of surgery less than ten minutes ago. I leaned against the wall and ran my hands through my hair. Everywhere in this place was freezing. I was scared out of my mind. I didn't want to see Chris hanging in the balance like that, but eventually, my love for her won out, and I realized that she was still Chris, and I needed to be with her. Just in case she woke up and I had the chance to tell her I loved her.

My hand went out to the door handle, and I slowly turned it. Time seemed to stand still. I walked over the threshhold and into the stark white room.

I looked over to the left, and saw her. Chris. My Chris. Her whole body looked so tiny in the bed, surrounded by the bright whiteness of the sheets. She had a tube in her throat attached to a respirator in the corner. Bandages covering her with blood slowly seeping through. A steady beep going off monitering her heart. There were so many wires and tubes keeping her alive. Her eyes were closed, and she looked so pale. It was crazy to think that hours ago, bullets had ripped through her small frame, wreaking havoc on anything it connected with. I wanted to reach out and hold her, and never let her go. Instead, I settled for taking a chair by her side, and holding her hand.

"Hey Chris, it's Jim," I said lamely. I couldn't think of anything but I love you. "I don't know if you can hear me...this is dumb. Well, I would give anything to be where you are right now. You gotta keep hanging on." Tears started rolling down my face, and I kissed her icy hand. I remembered that only hours ago, I was holding the same small hand in mine, scared out of my mind. She had held my life in her hands so many times, and now it felt as if I was holding hers. I never wanted to let go of her hand. She was my everything, my world, and if she was gone, so was I, simple as that.

I hadn't even realized that I fell asleep. I woke up to a pair of arms pulling me from my tossing and turning. It was black dreams, nothing happened, just black. Something small was in my hand, and I looked down to see Chris's hand in mine. Shit, what time was it? How long had I been asleep?

"Wha...who is that?" I said, before turning to see Hondo.

"Didn't look like you were having a good sleep Street." He said quietly, not wanting to disturb Chris, even though it seemed nearly impossible. His eyes shifted from me to Chris. "She doesn't look so good."

"She'll get better." I said, sounding more confident than I felt. I had to change conversations, because thinking about her was gonna get to me. "How long was I out for?"

"I dont know, depends on when you fell asleep, but you've been up here about three hours. It's the middle of the night." He answered calmly, not taking his eyes of Chris.

"Where's Eliza?" I asked, concerned that she was still downstairs, worrying and crying.

"Jesse and Deke took her home to her grandma's on their way home. She fell asleep a long time ago." Hondo answered eyes still glued on Chris's small frame. I focused my attention on her too, afraid that if she was left out of my sight too long, she would be gone.

"I should never have let her into the building without a full suit." He said quietly.

"She wouldn't have listened to you and you know it Hondo." I whispered back. Chris would have gone anyways.

"Yeah, but I can't help but think about how this all could have been prevented." He said back, lost in a daze. I gave Chris's hand a small squeeze and looked down at her. Her face was blank of expression which, under normal circumstances, you would never see. She was so pale, probably from losing so much blood.

"It's gonna be fine," I said quietly, both to Hondo and Chris. I don't know how I would be able to live with myself if it wasn't fine.

"I gotta get home Street, you call me if anything happens," He said, finally shifting his gaze from Chris.

"You got it Hondo." I said back, my voice breaking again. 'If anything happens' means if she dies. He gave me a nod and walked out of the room. I was alone again. I held my Chris's hand, and closed my eyes, and imagined holding her. Imagined making everything right again.

"Excuse me?" a voice broke the beautiful silence. I was startled from my daydreams, and quickly opened my eyes. A tall blond guy was standing at the door.

"Yeah?" I answered, confused.

"Im Bobby, Officer Sanchez's night nurse. I was in here before, but you were asleep. I have to check her vitals," He said. I should have known by his appearance that he was a nurse, but I was too tired to even look that much into it.

"Yeah. Yeah go ahead," I said with a yawn, realeasing Chris's hand for the first time in hours. My own hand felt empty. Bobby read the gibberish coming off of the monitors, and wrote furiously on his clip board. For several minutes, I watched in silence.

"How's it looking?"I said finally.

"Pretty much the same, still not good." He said sadly. "You work with her?" he asked.

"Yeah, she's been my partner on our SWAT team for over a year." I said back, not wanting to go into the complexities of our relationship.

"SWAT? Pretty impressive." He said simply back.

"Yeah, that's my Chris, pretty and impressive." I said, turning my attention back to her. I took her hand back into mine, and kissed, amazed at how cold it had become in the minutes it had not been in mine.

"I'll be back in another hour to check up again." Bobby said before leaving. When the door shut again, I leaned over Chris, and planted a gentle kiss on her cold forehead, before sitting back in my uncomfortable plastic chair and drifting once again into restless slumber.