Episode 17

Mug Shot

continued….

It was a sad day when Serenity touched down on the foggy, ocean dominated planet of New Melbourne. Kaylee had been in or close to tears all morning. Bridget was just sad that she couldn't have gotten to know Inara better. Mal hardly said a word the whole time.

"I'll miss you all very much," Inara said with a smile. "Wish me luck."

"Good luck, Inara," Kaylee said with a tearful smile. "Happy sex." Inara climbed into her shuttle and in less than a minute, it detached from the rest of Serenity and flew off towards new opportunities.

"That's it, then," Kaylee sniffled. "She's gone."

"It ain't like she's dead, little Kaylee," Mal told her. "We'll see her again."

"Think so, Captian?" she asked.

"Sure," he said, though his eyes looked doubtful.

"How long are we stickin' around, sir?" asked Zoë.

"Long enough to for our cook to get food shopping with the pittance we got lying around," he said grumpily. "Bridget, be quick."

"Sure, Captain," Bridget said.

"And bring someone with you," Mal said. "I want you back in under an hour, alright?"

"I'll be back before you can blink," she said with a smile. Bridget went up to her new bunk to get her purse and her coat. When she climbed back up into the main hallway, she ran into Jayne coming up out of his bunk as well.

"Hey," he said as he put a hideous orange, knitted hat on his head, complete with a pom-pom and a pair of tassels. Bridget tried her best to stifle a laugh. "What?" he asked, looking confused.

"That's a pretty impressive piece of head-wear you got there," Bridget said. "You steppin' into public with that?"

"My mother made it," he said defensively. "I think it makes me look intimidatin'."

"Uh huh…," Bridget said slowly.

"Figured I'd act as bodyguard for ya today," he said.

"I see…Well, come on, then. You can practice scaring the fishermen and seagulls with your intimidating hat while I shop."

Jayne didn't particularly want to go shopping. Hell, all he wanted to do was find a pub. They'd run outta booze a long time ago, and he was itchin' to get hisself drunk. But he figured he oughta spend some time with Bridget. Zoë told him that's what you do in a relationship: spend time together. Lots of it. He didn't really mind as much as he feared he would. He had a kind of fierce fondness for Bridget, even if he wasn't too good at lettin' her know very smooth-like.

"What're we getting?" he asked as they weaved.

"I dunno, maybe some seafood," she said. "You like seafood?"

"I like food," he said with a shrug. "I'll eat whatever you make."

"That's a good boy," she said with a nod and a smile.

"Can we get some liquor?" he asked hopefully.

"If we've got some leftover money," she said. "If you haven't noticed, we're runnin' a little low these days."

"There's always money for liquor," he said. "Plus, I gotta get you drunk again so I can steal another kiss."

"Hey, any kiss you get from now on will be given to you," said Bridget in an amused voice.

"Well, why don't you give me one so I can stop complainin'?" he asked.

"I've kissed you since then," she reminded him as they headed toward the farmer's market that was situated on a pier.

"Yeah," he grumbled. "Once."

"Didn't appreciate it?" she asked, arching an eyebrow.

"I did, I'm just sayin'…Once," he said.

"What's the rush?" she asked him.

"Well, a man's got wants and needs to be catered to," he told her.

"That so?" she asked playfully.

"Yep," he replied. Bridget stopped abruptly on the pier, causing several bundled up denizens to have to dodge her.

"Well, guess what? Woman's got some similar wants and needs," she told him with a coy smile. "So maybe don't wait for me to kiss you next time."

"Is that the way we're playin' it now?" he asked with a grin.

"I'm thinkin' so," she said, planting her hands on her hips. He bent down to kiss her but she brushed past him and continued on toward the market.

"Hey, now," he said, jogging after her. "That weren't entirely fair."

"Life ain't entirely fair," she reminded him. "I like to keep public displays of affection at a minimum, especially with someone wearing a hat like yours."

"How 'bout you give it a try, then?" he asked, stopping her with his hand on her shoulder. He plucked the chopsticks out of her hair, which fell down to her chest, and crammed the hat onto her head. She looked at him with an arched eyebrow.

"This the way you treat all the women you associate with?" she asked flatly.

"No. I tease the ones I like best," he said with a smirk.

"Yeah?" Bridget asked, yanking the hat off her head and tossing it back to him. "Me too." She grabbed his hand and led him down the pier. C'mon, Mr. Intimidatin', we got food to buy."

In all of Bridget's wildest dreams, she never suspected being closely watched by a pair of Alliance officials while she drug Jayne around from vendor to vendor, especially when they were so far from Persephone. However, they'd been tipped off that there was a Firefly class transport ship present ever since it hit atmo. All they were waiting for now was a facial confirmation, but they couldn't get that until she turned around or came closer to them. It wasn't hard to keep an eye on their target. After all, the man she was with was enormous and was wearing a ridiculous orange hat.

"Who knew there'd be nice lookin' vegetables on a planet like New Melbourne?" Bridget mused happily a half an hour later as she and Jayne weaved their way off the pier. "We'll have shrimp stir fry tonight."

"Sounds good," said Jayne. Out of the corner of his eye, Jayne saw a flash of purple. He turned around and realized that they were being closely followed by two feds. "Gou shi!" he cursed.

"What's wrong?" asked Bridget.

"We got company!" he said before taking her hand and dashing through the crowd of people.

"Stop! You're under arrest!" cried one of the officials, breaking into a run after them. Bridget looked back and saw the feds and yelped.

"Shit!" she cried, running faster to keep up with Jayne's pace.

"You, with the orange hat! Stop!" shouted one of the feds.

"Hat off!" cried Bridget. "Take it off!" Jayne snatched the hat off his head and stuffed all that would fit into his pocket. Bridget heard the low frequency whumph of a Sonic Rifle behind her and saw an innocent bystander crumple to the ground behind them. If they hit her with that, she'd be knocked out for hours, not to mention caught and arrested. Suddenly, the plastic grocery bag she was clutching shuddered. The last shot had gone right through it, missing her by inches.

"Faster, Jayne!" she cried, her heart racing.

"Get yer head down!" he shouted at her. Bridget ducked just as Jayne fired one of his handguns over his shoulder, hitting one of the feds in the arm. Pandemonium broke out as the officer's rifle clattered to the ground. The crowded sidewalk writhed with people trying to get out of Jayne's way. The two of them dashed up the sloping street to where Wash had Serenity parked. Mal and Kaylee sat in a couple lawn chairs outside the lowered ramp having what looked like a decent conversation while they waited for Bridget and Jayne to get back. When Mal saw them and who was after them he nearly fell out of his chair.

"What'd you do?" he cried as Jayne and Bridget dashed up the ramp and into the ship. Mal chucked the lawn chairs into the airlock and hauled Kaylee back inside. He pounded the button on the panel inside the airlock, which closed up the ramp. He hit the nearest intercom button.

"Wash, we got everyone on board?" Mal practically yelled.

"Yes sir," said Wash.

"Then get us in the air! We got feds!" Mal shouted at him. A moment or two later, Wash had Serenity rising through the atmosphere of New Melbourne.

Jayne practically drug Bridget up to his bunk, just trying to get her as far away from the cargo bay as possible. Her arm ached from being pulled along, but she was so panic-stricken that she hardly noticed or cared. The two of them jumped down the ladder. Jayne shut the door and turned around to see Bridget huddled on his unkempt bed, clutching at a bruised arm. It took a moment for him to realize that those bruises were about the same size and shape of his own fingers.

"Ta ma de!" Jayne cursed angrily through gritted teeth as he made his way over to Bridget, who was now in tears. He plopped down next to her on his bed. "Shh, quiet, now," he said gruffly, wiping a tear away from one of her cheeks with his thumb. "We got away."

"They're following us," Bridget said, looking Jayne in the eyes. "I know it."

"If they are, we'll outrun 'em," he said. Bridget shook her head.

"I was so happy to finally have a home…," she whispered.

"Don't you talk like that," Jayne told her, holding her round face in his hands as gently as he could. "I won't let 'em have you." He looked down at her bruised arm. "Ruttin' hell…I didn't mean to do that to you, Bridge."

"It's ok," she said in a voice that was barely audible.

"I'd never bruise a woman up on purpose," he said. "You know that, right?"

"Yeah, I know," she said with a nod. "What're we gonna do?"

"I dunno," he said. "Prolly just stay here 'till they find us, then I'll blast the hell out of 'em."

"Maybe I'll just go quietly," Bridget said sounding distant.

"I hate to say it, but it's too late for that now, darlin', you already ran from 'em," Jayne said with smirk that was meant to be comforting. "Didn't yer mama ever tell ya not to run from the man?"

"Least I didn't shoot nobody," she said with a shadow of a smile. "Guess they might have a mind to arrest you, too."

"They might have a mind to arrest everyone on this gorram boat," Jayne said. "There ain't a one of us that hasn't done somethin' illegal."

"'Cept for maybe the preacher," Bridget mused.

"Jayne, I need you in the cargo bay," Mal's voice said through the intercom in Jayne's bunk.

"This ain't really a good time, Cap," Jayne said in an annoyed voice.

"Don't make me come up there, Jayne, I ain't in the mood," Mal warned. Jayne rolled his eyes.

"What am I supposed to do with Bridget? Just leave her here?" he asked angrily.

"Bring her down here," said Mal. "We have to talk." Mal's head ached something awful. Wash had just reported that there was an Alliance ship behind them that was ordering for them to stop. The sound of feet coming down the stairs alerted him to Jayne and Bridget's presence. "Come on, now, we don't have a lot of time."

"What's goin' on, Mal?" Jayne asked.

"We got feds behind us demanding entry," said Mal. "That's what's going on. And frankly, I don't have a plan."

"Well I'll tell you what we ain't gonna do-," Jayne began to say.

"I'll go," Bridget said. Jayne looked at her with serious eyes.

"Oh, no you won't," he countered.

"Don't boss me, Jayne," Bridget told him sternly. "I made the Captain a promise, and that was to not cause a ruckus. Well, I have. I'm putting everyone else in danger, and it ain't right. I'll cooperate and go with them without a fuss."

"That's not really what I had in mind for a potential plan…," Mal said.

"Can you think of something better?" Bridget asked. "'Cause the longer you make Wash wait to stop, the more trouble we're in. Maybe if I go nicely, they won't take any of you."

"Well, they're liable to anyway," Mal said. "There's not chance of runnin', they're already on top of us. Probably they'll arrest you and Jayne, maybe me 'cause I'm the Captain. Be that the case, I'm leaving it up to you, Zoë, to bust us the hell out."

"How, sir?" she asked.

"You'll have to figure that out yourself 'cause I don't have a ruttin' clue," Mal said. "Simon, I want you and your sister out of sight. No use in having you arrested too. Chances are they aren't lookin' for you anyhow."

"When aren't they looking for us?" Simon said with a scoff.

"Just get someplace outta the way and keep your sister under control, dong ma?" Mal ordered.

"Come on, River, we have t-," Simon began to say as he turned around, but he stopped short. She was gone. Just a moment earlier, she'd been right beside him, and now she was gone. "She…Did anyone see…?" he stammered.

"This is a hell of a time for her to up and disappear, Doc," Mal growled.

"She was right here," Simon said, gesturing to the spot where River used to be with a baffled look on his face. How could she have slipped away without him or anyone else seeing?

"There ain't time for this. You get yourself hid and hope to whatever god you pray to that she stays lost," Mal said darkly. Simon hurried off to find a place to hide. "Wash?" he barked into the intercom.

"Yeah, boss?" Wash answered.

"Let 'em board," said Mal reluctantly.

"Er…but Captain, they-"

"Don't argue, just do it," Mal snapped with a sigh. A moment later, the tell-tale thump of the Alliance ship docking with Serenity echoed through the cargo bay. Mal punched the button that caused the airlock to open and a group of six feds poured through it, guns drawn. Everyone held their hands up, including Wash who was coming down the stairs from the bridge.

"Drop any and all weapons you may have in your possession," one of them ordered. Mal unbuckled his holster and let it to clatter to the floor. Jayne and Zoë dropped their guns as well. "Bridget Li, you are under arrest for violating planetary restrictions that were spelled out to you in full thee years ago."

"Yessir," she muttered as one came forward and cuffed her hands behind her back.

"You," he said, pointing his gun at Jayne. "You are also under arrest for aiding and abetting a fugitive on the run as well as wounding a federal officer." two feds approached the massive mercenary carefully and began to cuff him.

"Gorram wang bao dahn law-men…," Jayne grumbled impatiently as they wrenched his arms behind his back.

"Cuff him, as well," the fed told the remaining two as he pointed at Mal. "Captain Malcolm Reynolds, you are under arrest for knowingly harboring a fugitive of Persephone and persisting to run from officers of the law."

"Shiny," Mal muttered with a sarcastic smirk as they cuffed him. He was really, really hoping they wouldn't arrest him too.

"The three of you are to come quietly. If you cooperate, you might be able to knock off a few years of your sentences," said the fed with a smirk. "But I doubt it. You, there. Pilot," he said addressing Wash, who responded with a nervous stare. "I suggest you get this ship as far away from here as possible. That is, if you don't want to appear any more suspicious than you already do." Wash nodded quickly. "You folks have yourselves a nice day," the fed said with a smirk.

The remaining members of Serenity's crew watched the feds haul three of their friends away into the Alliance ship. The airlock closed and left them in the silent cargo bay.

"This is the part where we think up a wacky, mildly suicidal plan, isn't it?" Wash asked.

"That it is, dear," Zoë said with a fiercely serious face as she picked up her gun from the floor. "That it is."

The feds hauled the three of them into separate rooms where they were patted down and questioned. Bridget was scared half out of her mind, but she reminded herself over and over that Zoë and the others would rescue them. They'd find a way.

"So," said the cocky fed from before as he paced up and down the room. "Bridget Li: daughter of Joseph and Marion Li, the esteemed criminals of the independence." Bridget was mildly shocked. The way her parents told it, they'd come back heroes, not criminals. She had always assumed that the Alliance wanted them because they were the opposition. "Were you not specifically asked to never come to Persephone again? Hmm?"

"Yessir," she answered. The fed stopped pacing and bent down so his face was close to hers.

"And why is that…?" he asked her patronizingly.

"I don't know," she answered in an annoyed voice.

"Wha…You don't know?" he parroted, obviously not expecting her answer.

"Did I stutter?" she asked him sarcastically.

"Well, then, let me enlighten you," said the officer. "Your parents were two of the Independence's best assassins. Or, as we like to refer to them, 'xiong meng de kuang ren.'"

"That ain't true," Bridget growled, angered by the vulgar words used toward her parents.

"Sure as your boyfriend is stupid it's true," said the fed. "They had it coming to them as soon as they set up the Unification Day Rebellion. Knew it was over, judging by they way they scurried back to their little hovel. Caused millions of credits in damage, not to mention their little army stole everything they could get their grubby mitts on."

"You're wrong, they were good people," Bridget protested, getting angrier as he went on.

"They were scum!" he bellowed at her. "Insects that I'm sure whoever killed them was happy to exterminate." Bridget sat their both angry and upset. "You must have been living in some kind of hole not to know that."

"So how does that constitute banning me from Persephone?" she asked.

"You could have helped them. Maybe you were planning to continue their legacy. Who knows?" he said with a shrug. "It's better to kick someone off a planet for what they might do than to arrest them for something they haven't done yet."

"But I've already told you that I didn't know what was goin' on!" Bridget cried.

"You could be lying," he said simply.

"But I'm not! I'm not lying and I'm not a criminal!" she said.

"Now you are. The minute you set foot on Persephone you were a criminal," he said. "If there's a next time, you might try using whatever little brains you have before breaking the law." He stepped over to an intercom next to the door and pressed a button. "I'm finished questioning her."

"We'll send someone right away to transport her to the brig," a voice answered.

"Thank you," the fed replied.

Jayne sat impatiently on a little metal chair with his feet up on a long metal table. At the other end was an arrogant looking fed who just sat there staring at him.

"You gonna ask me somethin' or are we just gonna sit here?" Jayne asked.

"How long have you known that your little girlfriend is guilty of a war-related crime?" asked the fed.

"I dunno. Week or two, maybe," Jayne answered.

"And what do you think of that?" the officer asked.

"To be real honest, I think it's kinda sexy," Jayne said with a grin. The fed looked a little irritated.

"And being a man of your nature, I'm sure if you knew beforehand that there was a reward involved, it might have swayed your decision in helping her," the fed offered. Jayne thought for a minute.

"How big a reward?" he asked.

"A thousand credits."

"A thousand?"

"Mmhmm. I guess it's too bad you didn't know about that ahead of time. You might not even be here," the fed said with a smirk.

"Never said I woulda cooperated. Let me ask you somethin', officer," Jayne said in a mocking tone as he took his feet off the table and scooted closer. "Ever had a woman you didn't deserve?"

"Can't say that I have," the officer answered, wondering where all this was going.

"Well here's some news for ya: you ever find a woman you don't deserve, you sit her down and let her know what a ruttin' fei fei de pi yan you are and she keeps you around anyway, you know you got somethin' you never wanna let go of. I've sold out business partners, hell, I've even sold out my friends when the money got too good. But I swear to God I'd never do that to her. 'Cause I don't deserve her, but she's what I got," Jayne told him. "I'd kill a man in less'n a blink for her. That little graze I gave that purple-belly weren't nothin' compared to what I'd do to keep her."

"Well, that's sweet," the fed said mockingly.

"I thought so," Jayne said in a sarcastic tone.

"It's too bad that you just gave yourself a minimum of 3 years," the officer told him. Three feds entered the room to escort Jayne to his holding cell. "A word of advice, Cobb, since you probably won't be seeing your girl anytime soon," the officer said as they were leading him out, "Don't drop the soap." Jayne grumbled a long string of curse words as they muscled him down the hall.

"Captain Malcolm Reynolds," said the fed that was questioning Mal. "I've heard a great deal about you. Seems you've got a little record going."

"Do I?" Mal answered with a fake smile.

"Don't play dumb, Mr. Reynolds," said the fed impatiently. "You're a petty black market thief and, from what I understand, not a very good one at that. And now I suppose you've graduated to harboring fugitives. Are you aware that that girl's parents started the Unification Day Rebellion?"

"Really?" Mal asked, genuinely astonished. "Honestly, that's impressive. I don't know anyone capable of something like that."

"Well, you know what they say: The apple doesn't fall far from the tree," said the officer.

"I'm sure they do, but not about Bridget," Mal said. "She ain't got a violent or misbehavin' bone in her body."

"That doesn't mean a lot coming from you," the fed replied flatly. "She'll be tried, found guilty and incarcerated in Eavesdown's women's prison. A similar fate probably awaits you and your mercenary. I'm sure both of you have enough criminal activity under your belts to put you behind bars for a good long time."

"Probably so," Mal said. "But you oughta see sense and let Bridget go. She's done nothing but have her entire life ripped apart buy things she can't control. You can't help who your parents are or what they did. She's a victim, not a criminal."

"That's touching," the fed sneered. "But unfortunately, the world's not fair and rules are rules."

"That's one of the big things I don't like about the Alliance," Mal said.

"What's that?" he asked.

"There ain't a one of you with the decency to do right by your fellow human beings. Everything's just law and order to you. There's more to this world than rules."

"Maybe in your utopian Independent world. But here, law governs right and wrong. You and your friends have done some serious wrong in the eyes of the Alliance and no matter what kind of dogma you live by, you will be punished for your actions."

"How about we just rush in, guns blazing? Isn't that kind of our thing? Wash suggested as they sat around the bridge trying to think of a way to bust out Mal, Jayne and Bridget.

"Usually when we rush in like cowboys, someone gets hurt," Book reminded him.

"Isn't that part of our thing?" Wash wondered.

"Okay, people," Zoë sighed, feeling the beginnings of a headache coming on. "We need to be real serious about this. It's likely that they'll put Bridget in a prison on Persephone since that's where she committed her crime."

"If you could call it a crime," Kaylee said dejectedly. She still felt at fault for badgering Bridget into coming with her to shop. "This is just about the worst day ever…'Nara's gone and now everyone's gettin' arrested."

"We've had worse days than this," Wash said.

"Like when?" Kaylee asked.

"Like when Mal and I got tortured by Niska," Wash answered. "Or when I got kicked in the head by Saffron, or when we ran out of gas and Zoë nearly died. Need I go on?"

"Guess you're right," Kaylee sighed. At that moment, Simon poked his head into the cockpit.

"I can't find her," he said, his breathing labored. "I can't find River."

Bridget was led down to the brig where she was practically shoved into a tiny cell. The automatic door slid shut behind the feds and sealed tight. Every surface in the cell was white, which reflected the overhead light so well that it was nearly blinding. There was a tiny round window in the door, out of which she could see Mal and Jayne being herded into similar cells. Bridget had never felt more hopeless in her entire life. Even when she first arrived on Baumonde, at least she knew that she had an opportunity to fix things for herself. She hoped to God that the others were on their way.

Cells one, two and five already filled. One, two, five. One, two, five. / You'll need a card key for access. / He's huge, probably a mercenary. / I'd give anything in the 'verse to lay her down…

River was having a more difficult time lately keeping everyone's thoughts out. Sometimes there was nothing, sometimes there was everything from everyone. Their thoughts were deafening. She wanted to scream, just to see if her voice could block it out. But she had to be quiet like a little spider in the air duct so no one would suspect. One, two, five. Card key. She saw light up ahead and realized that it was a vent. Below, she saw two feds standing guard with guns. The wife's gonna kill me if I come home late again / Hurry up, guys…I want out…LET ME OUT! River stopped abruptly and clutched her head. Familiar thoughts. Scared. Anxious. She knew them. Who else? They'll be sorry if they ever let me outta here…sorry and dead. / They'd better figure out a way to rescue us soon, I'm getting tired of this. Bridget. Jayne. Mal. They were close. Maybe right underneath her.

"Rescue effort, trial one," River whispered before kicking the vent in, dropping to the floor below like a cat and knocking the two guards to the ground with a couple of graceful, well aimed kicks. Card key for access. She bent down and unhooked the card from one of the officers' belt before walking silently over to cell five. She peered inside and saw Bridget, sitting on the little bench that was connected to the wall, looking frightened.

Bridget chewed at her already short nails, wondering where exactly they were planning to take her. Just as she began to doubt that no one would come for her, she looked up and jumped half out of her skin. River Tam's seventeen-year-old face was staring in at her from the little window. When the initial shock wore off, Bridget leapt up.

"River!" she cried in relief. She hadn't been that happy to see the little fugitive…well, ever. River smiled excitedly at her and slid the card key though the slot. With a click and a hiss, the door slid open. "How'd you get in here?" Bridget whispered as soon as she emerged from the cell.

"Magic," River said with a smile.

"Where's everyone else?"

"No time," she answered. Bridget followed River over to cells one and two. They let Mal out first, then Jayne.

"Now what, Crazy?" Jayne asked River.

"Now we'll be cowboys," she said, taking off down the hall at a sprint. Mal, Jayne and Bridget exchanged puzzled expressions before running after her. Bridget brought up the rear, as she was the least athletic of the bunch.

River could hardly control herself anymore. She was flying like a kamikaze butterfly down the length of the ship's interior. Her mind was blessedly clear of outside interference. At least this way, she could get them to the emergency shuttles towards the front of the Short-range Enforcement Vessel. She looked behind her and realized that she'd lost the others.

"Hey!" cried a fed as she rushed past him. "Come back here!" Although he was out of normal earshot, she knew that he was calling for reinforcements. As he should. Everyone was going to need a lot of help.

She was almost to the shuttle when the narrow hall filled with feds. One of them tried to grab her, but she ducked and kicked his feet out from under him. He fell hard and hit his head on the wall. She spun gracefully as she rose to full height, catching another's jaw with her curled fist, sending him careening into one of the other officers.

At that moment, Mal, Jayne and Bridget caught up with her. None of them could see clearly what was going on in the middle of six feds so, naturally, they all assumed she needed their help.

Jayne grabbed two by the side of their faces and smashed their heads together. Both crumpled to the floor, no doubt suffering from some kind of concussion or other. Mal socked one in the stomach, knocking the air out of his lungs before punching him across the face. One caught Bridget from behind in a head lock. She struggled against him for a moment before jamming her elbow into his solar plexus. He wheezed and let her go. She turned around and bloodied his nose with a closed fist.

"Gah!" she cried as pain exploded in her fingers. It never occurred to her that punching someone would hurt so bad. She flexed her aching fingers and winced. The fed that she was attempting to fight got back up and was about to come after her again when River grabbed his neck from behind and applied an incredible amount of pressure to a spot at the base of the neck, causing him to pass out. Bridget stared disbelievingly at River, who had a blank, nearly mechanical look in her eyes for a split second. Her head jerked up as if she had just come back from zoning out and she smiled eerily at Bridget.

"It's time to go," she said as the last fed fell unconscious to the floor due to Jayne's fist. They followed River into the cramped confines of the emergency shuttle. Mal took the controls and after the little engine whirred to life, they disconnected with the Alliance ship. Mal flipped on the vid screen and attempted to contact Wash.

"We have to get this plan together now," Zoë said. "If we wait, they're just going to get further away, and I'm not going to let…"

"Hang on a sec, hon," Wash said, putting up a figure to quiet his wife, who looked more than a little annoyed by the gesture. The incessant beep, beep, beep of an incoming wave was irritating him. He pushed the receive button and a very familiar face came into view.

"Well, if it ain't my oh-so-helpful crew," Mal said sarcastically.

"Mal! Are you alright?" Wash asked.

"Maybe a little ruffed up, but we're alright," he said.

"Where are you? Is everyone with you? How'd you get out?" Wash asked.

"We're on an Alliance emergency shuttle, we should be coming up on you in a few minutes. Yes, everyone's here, including the youngest Tam sibling. I'll tell you the whole story when we get back, but for now, I want you and Kaylee to be ready to burn the hell out of here when we hit the airlock," Mal said.

"Will do, Captain," said Wash. Mal gave him half a grin before disconnecting.

"So much for our daring rescue attempt," Book said flatly.

"Hey, had we actually got around to deciding on anything, it would have been heroic. Maybe even epic," Wash said with a nod.

A few minutes later, Wash picked up the shuttle's signal on the radar. He told Kaylee to get ready to hard burn as the shuttle docked. As soon as the four of them were inside the airlock, Mal gave Wash the go-ahead. In a few seconds time, Serenity roared back into the depths of the 'verse, blasting the little shuttle to pieces and leaving New Melbourne far behind them.

There was a very enthusiastic reception in the cargo bay. Simon was particularly happy to see River.

"Where have you been, mei mei?" he asked, looking very concerned.

"Saving all our sorry asses. You got one brave sister, Doc," Mal told him. River was beaming.

"Thank you, River," Bridget said gratefully. "Truce, okay?"

"Okay," River said with a smile and a nod. Jayne grabbed Bridget by the waist and pulled her to him.

"You feelin' alright?" he asked her.

"Besides bein' bruised all over, sure," said Bridget. "Look, I punched a fed in the nose," she said with a smile, showing him the red and purple bruises on her fingers.

"That's my girl," he said.

"Oh, so now I'm your girl? You own me, or somethin'?" she asked playfully.

"Don't flatter yerself," he teased.

"I see how it is," she said, crossing her arms and turning her back on him. In one, swift movement, he picked her up and draped her over his shoulder. Bridget screamed and giggled and beat her fists on his back.

"Let me down, gorramit!" she cried.

"Not a chance," Jayne told her as he held her kicking legs in place. "You promised me we'd get a room, and tonight I plan to bed ya."

"You do, do you?" Bridget scoffed. "What makes you think I'm gonna let you?"

"Darlin', you'll never wanna stop," he told her with a smirk.

"Doesn't leave much to the imagination, does he?" Wash said.

"Watch it, little man," Jayne said, pointing a finger at him. With that, Jayne started up the stairs to the upper portion of the ship.

"We'll be in his bunk," said Bridget through a laugh as she was being hauled away. Book smiled and shook his head.

"I never thought I'd live to see it, but it seems that Jayne's finally found someone that suits him," Book said with a baffled little shrug.

"It uncanny," Mal agreed.

"Now that we're all safe and sound, do I have permission, sir, to teach this irritating husband of mine a lesson?" Zoë asked Mal.

"Yeah, can she teach me a lesson?" Wash seconded hopefully.

"Don't be too hard on him," Mal said as Zoë grabbed Wash by the front of his Hawaiian print shirt and pulled him up the stairs. Wash looked back gave Mal a helpless little shrug. The Captain shook his head and smirked.

"So, Simon…would you like to keep me company while I watch over the engine?" Kaylee asked innocently.

"Oh, um…," Simon stammered. He looked at his sister, who smiled and gave a little nod. "Of course. It'd be my pleasure," he answered with a little grin. Kaylee beamed and took him by the hand before leading him up to the engine room.

"I think I'm going to revisit a few Bible passages before bed…," Book said in an awkward tone of voice.

"Aw c'mon, preacher, stick around a while so I don't have to think about what my crew's up to," Mal said.

"Hence the Bible passages," Book said flatly. "River can keep you company." The teenager looked up at Mal and smiled sweetly. "Just remember that special hell we've talked about in the past…" Mal's eyes got huge as he looked from River to Book.

"Wha...No, I can't even believe y-…You better get rid of that smutty mind! It ain't becoming of a preacher!" Mal said indignantly. Book drifted off towards his bunk with a satisfied and amused smile on his face, leaving Mal and River alone in the cargo bay.

"For all the trouble you cause me, you sure seem to come in handy," Mal told her. "I'm just glad to have everything back to relative normality."

"A place for everything and everything in its place," River recited.

"Well said, little one," Mal said with a nod. "You can be my co-pilot while Wash is…preoccupied."

"With intercourse?" River asked innocently.

"Yeah, let's not talk about stuff like that, okay?" Mal suggested as he and River ascended the stairs, leaving the cargo bay as it had been for several weeks: completely and utterly empty.

Fin

Author's Note: So…? Reviews are always nice. Thanks for sticking with it, you guys, it always makes my day.