AN: Hey guys, I got another one for you, I'm sorry these all take so long, and frankly even I'm getting tired of my excuses. I'll try harder to get the next one up quickly. Anyways, this one felt awkward to me, tell me what you think.

When Chris's mom finally brought Eliza in to see her mama the next day, it was all I could take to not start bawling like a baby. Eliza looked terrified that her mom would break at any second, and Chris was on this edge, trying extra hard to reassure Eliza that she was ok. Eliza was mumbling one word or two, avoiding even looking at her mother.

Chris's mom seemed to sense that there was tension in the air, and decided it was time to go. Eliza gave me a quick hug, and mumbled a goodbye to her mom. When the door shut, I glanced at Chris, and she looked heartbroken.

"My own kid doesn't want to look at me," She sighed. I think that the way Eliza had acted was killing her more than she let on.

"Aw, come on Sanchez, she was just nervous," I tried, wanting to wipe that look off her face.

"Then why did she hug you?"

"I think, she just didn't want to hurt you," I said while pressing my foot up against the wall and leaning back towards the door. I grabbed her left hand and swung it back and forth gently. From the corner of my eye, I saw the confusion play across her face. I smiled a little bit.

"What?" I pressed.

"I told her I was fine," Chris answered. The end of the word got caught in her throat, and she started coughing. I watched her for a second.

"Yeah right Chris, that looks like fine to me," I commented. She pulled her hand from mine, and between coughs managed to give me the finger. I laughed, and let the chair fall back to the floor, and watched as the coughing died down. Her eyes were red and teary, and it looked as if all the coughing had taken the energy out of her. She cleared her throat a couple times.

"Go fuck yourself Jim," She rasped.

"I"ll do that as soon as I can find the time." I laughed back at her. "But seriously, you ok?" She nodded wordlessly, but I could tell she was lying. It just didn't seem important enough to push any further.

"Anyways," I started again, and put my foot back up on the wall and leaned back. "I think Eliza was just still kinda messed from before. I mean, you didn't have to see what you looked like last week." She nodded in agreement, then leaned her head back into the pillow.

"I don't want her to be afraid of me." Chris wheezed.

"She won't be, as soon as she's sure you'll be ok, she'll be the same again." I reassured her, adding a pat on the hand for good measure. My eyes drifted up to her bandaged right arm, and the white bandaging on her chest that wrapped over her shoulder. Faint blood spots pointed out exactly where the bullet wounds were. I looked down at my hand resting on hers.

"So, how you doing, I mean, really?" I asked gently. I nodded my head up towards her arm. She sat quiet for a second before answering.

"I guess, I'm just happy I'm alive ya know," She sighed in a soft and quiet tone. A short nervous laugh came from her mouth, followed by a wince, and a frown.

"Yeah, I'm happy about that too," I replied, then added, "'Cause, ya know, I care about you."

"I got another surgery tomorrow for this," She muttered, her voice barely audible, and gestured her head to her arm. Chris's eyes were droopy and tired.

"Yeah?" I answered simply. She nodded, and closed her eyes.

"I don't want to lose my job Jim." She whispered. Chris barely opened her eyes again, and she probably saw me nodding like an idiot.

"Nobody wants that Chris," I agreed.

"I worked too hard for this to just loose it like I did," She sighed. Her head lolled towards me, and I swear that her eyes were pleading with me to tell her what to do.

"Chris," I started, but was cut off.

"Thanks for being here." My mouth just sat open like and idiot.

"No problem," I answered, somewhat stupidly. My brain was shouting at me to tell her why I've been sitting in this dingy white room for sixteen days, but I just sat there. She stared down into her hand, and then looked over at the lifeless arm to her right. Then she looked back at me.

"Jim, what am I going to do? I can't take care of Eliza like this. I can't do it." She said in an empty voice. I looked at her, surprised by her lack of faith.

"You're gonna be ok Sanchez." The words were pouring straight from my brain. "You're going to be ok because you're tough. You don't let things like this get to you. And you are going to get better. You're going to be ok again. And I'm going to help because I love you more than anyone else in this world."

The second it hit me, I felt like the biggest idiot on Earth. I had just finally let my little secret slip to the only other person that mattered, and was about to see if it was just going to fly by, or become a train wreck right in front of me. I jumped from my seat in pure shock.

I saw the words hit her face. A wave of surprised passed through her sunken eyes and pale face. Then, her brow furrowed in confusion. I didn't want to hear her shoot me down. My hands pulled up to my temples and I stared at the floor.

"Oh shit, I'm sorry, I mean, I didn't. Chris, I, I'm an idiot, just, don't listen to me, I didn't mean to tell you like this." I looked down at her and could feel the sweat beading on my forehead. She was staring straight out at the door.

"Did you mean it?" She asked, as soft as ever. I sighed, and locked eyes with her. I could feel my head nod, but felt totally out of control of my body.

"Fuck," She breathed, "Fuck, I can't, I mean, I just can't do this right now." Her hand flew up in the air to try to make her point, but her face screwed up in a scowl, and she hissed in pain. I ignored it, knowing she wouldn't want me to bring that up.

"Do what?" I answered softly.

"I can't have you love me," She sighed.

"Shit Chris, you don't have to do anything. For all I care, you can call me an idiot and laugh. Just pretend I was drunk and talking stupid like I always do or something."

"Ok," She whispered.

"All right," I agreed, "This never happened." Some part of me wished she had confessed her love to me right there, but I couldn't make her do anything she didn't want to do. My eyes lingered on her face for a second before I pulled them back to the my feet and sat down in the chair again. Her eyes were circled in black, and she was unable to hide the exhaustion anymore. I could see all the confusion, pain and just dog-tiredness in them.

"You should sleep Sanchez," I said blankly, and leaned my chair back again. She nodded and closed her eyes. Once she was out, I sighed, happy that I had escaped that disaster. And, even though it was something I had spent the last two weeks doing it, I watched Chris sleep. She was so peaceful in sleep, and I knew that I wouldn't have to worry about her wanting to knock my ass out for saying something stupid.