Chapter 1 Swan

Disclaimer: They're still not mine, dammit. Tatsunoko Productions has that honour.

1Jun was cleaning up the kitchen when she heard a knock at the back door of the Snack J. When she peeked out, she was surprised to see the two remaining members of the Red Impulse squadron standing there in civilian clothing. They had been a rare sight since the death of their leader, Kentaro Washio.

Slipping out into the alleyway, she glanced around then asked, "What are you two doing here? Is something wrong? The Commander isn't here right now, do you need me to call him?

Oniishi shook his head and handed her an envelope as Masake explained, "That's from Red Impulse, he wrote it just before he died and asked us to give it to you today. Take care, you'll see us when you need us."

Jun glanced down at the envelope in her hand and when she looked back up the two men were gone. She shook her head and went back inside, thinking, 'I hate it when they do that.'

Jun went back into the Snack and passed her younger brother Jinpei on her way up the stairs, ignoring his puzzled expression at her obvious distraction. When she reached her room, she shut the door and sat on the bed, slowly turning the envelope in her hands and studying it. Finally, she broke the seal and unfolded the pages inside. She began to read, hearing Kentaro's voice in her mind as she read:

Jun,

By now I'm sure you know who I really am. I know Nambu won't have kept that secret, if he even waits until I'm actually gone to tell you. He wouldn't leave Ken with the false hope of my being alive once I was truly dead. Knowing you, you're probably ready to kick my ass for keeping the fact that I am his father from Ken. I had my reasons. I'm not saying they were right, but I had them. I hated leaving him like I did, but my sense of duty would not allow me to do otherwise. Rather ironic isn't it, that one of the traits I often despise most in myself is the one I passed on to my son?

I know you're wondering why I'm telling you this, rather than my son. Don't worry, I'll tell him as well. But knowing him, he will not believe me. The boy's as hard headed as his father, much as I hate to admit it. But you understand him best, and I hope that you will understand this, and be able to help him understand. I never wanted to hurt him. He's my son, and despite what anyone may believe because of my actions, I do love him. I know you do as well, so I hope you can make him see the truth, even if he resists at first. Consider it an old soldier's last request of you. I know this mission's going to be my last one. I've accepted that, and can only hope that my letters will help heal the wounds I know I've left behind, unintentional though they may be.

I also know how you feel about Ken. I'm not blind, though Kozaburo may be. And I support it. You're good for him, you bring out a side of him that he would normally hide. He loves you as well. You may not believe me, but he does. Oh, he may not show it, his sense of duty causes him to hide it, but it shows sometimes. Just not in front of you. I saw it clear as day several times, but most clearly when those damned Jigokillers attacked. Sorry, I know I probably just brought up bad memories there, but it is true. You know from the mission reports that he dropped the fuel from his plane onto the field to burn it. What you may not know is that he was nearly the missile that ignited the whole thing. The others stopped him. Believe this: he wasn't preparing to dive into that field because of duty, but because he couldn't even consider continuing the fight without you. I heard his scream when the flowers burned and it chilled me to the bone. The thought that he'd given the order that cost your life had him in a state I've never seen before. I even went to the airfield to try and kick him out of his depression, but it didn't do much good. He was nowhere near himself, not even when I goaded him. The only thing that pulled him out of it was your signal.

I also know he takes you on missions with him quite often. There are two reasons for that. Once of which is your abilities, which I would never discount. But the other, I believe, is that he feels that if he has to give his life, he wants you to be the last one he sees. And that if you both have to go, then at least you'd die together. He does love you. I may not be able to leave you much, but I can at least give you that assurance.

I used to wonder sometimes why Nambu allowed you to be on the team. But as I watched you and the others grow together, I stopped questioning the wisdom of his decision. Not only are you a great asset for your skills, but more importantly, you are the heart of the team, the one that keeps them together and grounded. Don't ever lose that heart.

Take care of yourself Jun. I wish I could be there to see you and Ken get married, have children, and live the life you deserve. I would have loved to have you for a daughter. My men are there to back you up when you need them, and Sayuri and I will be watching over you all. Sayonara.

Kentaro

Jun just sat there for a time, rereading the letter, tears pouring silently down her face. Jinpei, worried by her long absence from the Snack, came up to check on her. When she didn't answer his knock, he cracked open the door and saw her sitting on the bed crying. He shut the door quietly and went back downstairs, wondering just what to do. He hated it when she cried, especially since he didn't know why. Ken came into the J and saw the child's worried expression. When he glanced around and didn't see Jun in the shop, he asked him, "Oi, Jinpei, what's the matter? Where's your sister? You aren't fighting again are you?" Jinpei looked at him and shook his head, "No aniki, we haven't fought. But I am worried about Oneechan. She's upstairs, reading something, and it's got her really upset. She didn't even hear me when I went up to check on her. Think you can find out what's wrong?" Ken nodded at the boy and ruffled his hair before going to the stairs that led to their living area above the shop. He took them two at a time and came to a stop in front of Jun's door. He knocked quietly and said, "Jun? It's Ken. May I come in?"

1Jun hastily tucked the letter under the comforter and attempted to wipe the tears from her cheeks before facing her Commander. "Ken, come in."

The Gatchaman leader came in and sat next to her, easily spotting the tear stains she tried to hide from him behind her hair. "Jun, what's wrong? Jinpei said you were upset over something. He's worried about you. Is there anything I can do to help?" When she didn't say anything, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him, "C'mon Junnie, you're scaring me here, please talk to me."

As she felt his arm go around her, Jun lost the fight to keep her tears in check. She leaned on him and sobbed into his shoulder, suddenly unable to stop crying. She cried for Kentaro who regretted so much, for Nambu who lost his best friend. For Ken who would have given anything to share the moments in his life with his father. For all of them.

Ken still had no idea what had upset her so much, and had no idea how to comfort her, so he just held her patiently while she wept and waited for her to cry it all out.

After a few minutes, her tears began to slow and as they did, Jun came to a decision. She wouldn't tell Ken about the letter, not yet. The pain of Katse's trick was still to fresh, and she didn't want to bring up memories unnecessarily. When he was ready, she would show it to him. She whispered a quiet promise to Kentaro against his son's shoulder, "I will."

Ken felt her relax and reluctantly allowed his arm to slip from her shoulders as she drew away from him. She passed a hand over her eyes and gave him what she hoped looked like a reassuring smile. "I'm alright, Ken. Just memories. Sorry to have worried you. Come on, let's go back downstairs, I'll get you a soda." She palmed the letter from under the comforter and rose to place it in her desk, then waited for him to join her.

Ken knew she wasn't telling him everything, but decided not to push the issue. She would tell him when she was ready. He nodded and rose to follow her downstairs, back to the usual roles they played.

Toreen: Sorry it took so long but here's more for you. Hope you enjoyed it.

GoldAngel12: agreed. My impression of Red Impulse was always that of a man who knew he'd made mistakes but didn't know how to make them right. Pride and duty always seemed to get in the way. But he does care about his son. That is what I'm trying to bring out here.

Hopefully now that this story has been given a paddle shock back into my brain again, I should have the next letter out soon. Thanks for reading.