AN: I got another for ya, sorry bout the wait. Read, review, and enjoy

And from then on, I treated Chris only as a friend and my partner. It was hard as hell, especially after that surgery the next day, and she was delirious from the pain. I wanted just to hold her and make it all go away, but I held myself back.

I had to start going back to work and going back home finally. It was weird. I was kind of off, after everything that happened. I was slower than usual, just altogether sluggish. My response times had gotten horrible. I was constantly getting killed in our mock ups. It got so bad that one day Hondo finally just left with all us guys still out on the gun range because I had missed every target. I was going to follow him and hit the showers when Jesse grabbed me by the shoulder.

"Hey, wha?" I cried, shocked at both the grabbing of the shoulder, and the fact that I hadn't anticipated it.

"Just listen Jim," Jesse said. "I know what's happening to you, and I'm gonna help you get back into your zone." He said simply.

"What do you mean, I'm fine," I lied back to him, not even believing myself. I didn't want to take tips from the new guy, I was the oldest memeber on the squad. I should be whipping him into shape.

"Bull shit," He said, drawing out the "bull" for effect. "The same thing happened to me when my dad died. When I finally got back to my life, I let every single thing that ever mattered to me go down the toilet."

"I'm not doing that." I fought back.

"Even you know you look like shit out there." He answered incredulously. His green eyes looked me up and down, and I knew he was scanning me for a reaction. "But you gotta get on with your life. It takes balls, and you're going to have to work twice as hard as before, but you've gotta kick your own ass and figure yourself out." I sat there speechless. The boy in front of me spoke more seriously to me now than he had ever done before. Then he broke into a toothy grin.

"But if you can't kick your own ass, I'm just going to have to do it for you." I laughed, and for the first time in a while, it felt like a real laugh.

After talking to Jess, I went to see Chris again for the first time in three days. But I stopped and picked her up a present on the way. It was something that was very specifically for her and her alone.

"Hello my friend, brought you something." I smiled, and dropped the gift into her lap. She smiled out of the side of her mouth.

"You like?" I asked, stretching my arms up in the air.

"Only you would even think about getting me this Jim," She held the CD case away from herself like it was diseased and crinkled her nose.

"Aww come on Chris, I know you love Irish folk music," I laughed, and took the CD back from her. It was a running joke between us ever since she heard a Mariachi CD playing in my car. It just so happened it had come free in the mail, so I played it to see what it sounded like. On that one CD, one of the songs had gotten completely engrained in my brain. She thought it was hysterical to hear me singing to it and had given me different Spanish CD's for my birthday, Christmas, and every other occasion she could, so I retaliated by giving her Irish music. It had started with some step dance music I taken from the YMCA class one day while I was doing one of those public service seminars. But then I saw this one, and it screamed to be bought.

I slid it into a little player next to the bed and played the music softly. Both of us were silent as the first ten seconds of "Danny Boy" played, but then we both busted up laughing. When we finally stopped, Chris's face had screwed up, but she was still smiling.

"Oww, that hurts bad. Don't make me laugh like that." She gasped, holding her side.

"I'm sorry, but I couldn't resist," I shrugged. I shut the CD off, and stuck it back inside it's case.

"What should we do with this?" I asked, holding it up exactly as she had earlier. Her face dropped.

"Throw it in a fire." She answered, in all seriousness.

"Can you burn a CD like that?" I said, squinting my eyes and thinking about it. I really had no idea.

"Of course you can idiot, it's plastic, it's gonna melt." She rolled her eyes at me.

"Right, right," I nodded, "I knew that."

"Yeah right."

"No I mean it," I insisted laughing just a little.

"I really don't believe you." She pulled the one eyebrow on me, and I caved.

"Ok fine, I didn't know," I admitted, "But so what? I got a D in chemistry in high school anyways."

"I knew it." Chris laughed, " But really Jim, destroy that." She said, pointing at the guilty peice of evidence in my hands.

"I can't destroy it," I answered honestly. She gave me that quizzical look I knew all to well. "It's your present Chris, I can't do anything with it." I said, placing it back with her and moving far enough away that she couldn't give it back if she wanted to.

"Ok, ok," She sighed, and moved it to the table next to her. She looked back up at me, and smiled.

"How you been Jimmy boy?" She yawned, and leaned back into the pillow.

"What, tired already?" I joked, and she rolled her eyes again. "Well, today I got Hondo so mad that he left us all out on the shooting range and just walked away."

"No way." She looked at me in disbelief.

"Yeah, I mean it. He just left. He was mad because I died probably four times today." I told her. She shook her head back and forth.

"What are you doing out there man?" She laughed.

"Hey I just have to get used to doing it without my partner in crime again."

"Partner against crime," She corrected me. "but you're going to have to get on without me." She finished. Her expression dropped, and the tension rose in the air.

"Chris, it's going to be all right," I breathed softly. "You're going to be fine." My first instinct was to pull her close, and I almost went to do so, but stopped myself.

"Fuck Jim, I'm just a wuss," she sighed, and closed her eyes. Her hand shot up to her forehead, and she turned away from me.

"You are not a wuss." I pressed, knowing she wanted to end it but not allowing it. "It's actually a pretty fucking brave thing your doing here Chris."

"I'm not brave," she shot back at me. She was bound and determined to prove me wrong.

"I don't know why you have to knock yourself down all the time." I was almost yelling now, because I just wanted her to see the person I saw every time I looked in her eyes.

"Because I do!" She cried back at me.

"WHY?"

I made even my own ears ring as the words died in the air. Her eyes were locked entirely on my own, and we stared at each other as the tension in the air died down.

"Because Jim," She answered calmly and quietly.

"What the hell does that mean?" I mused. She swollowed and winced, and I knew that this whole escalated situation had done nothing to help her heal.

"It means I don't want to talk about it, so just drop it ok," She sighed tiredly.

"Whatever Chris," I retorted back, and fell back into the chair I had already spent so much of my life in. I stared into my hands and just thought. I could never explain why this all was happening the way it was. She must have kept a lot of herself hidden from the world, and didn't want me to see.

I glanced back up at her for a second. She looked about ready to cry, and I wasn't ready for that.

"Hey," I whispered softly. Her eyes met mine and so I smiled to try and cheer her up. "Chris, you know, I will always be you friend. You don't have to love me, but I am always going to care about you, and I will always be there for you. I mean, you have saved my ass enough times that I can't even count." She smiled weakly and stared at the floor.

But this, this Chris was not who I fell in love with. She was broken; and at that moment, I wanted more than anything to be the one who put her back together.